Oct 17 2006Mary-Kate Olsen is dating again
20-year-old Mary-Kate Olsen has reportedly been dating oil heir Maxwell Snow for about a month now. Snow happens to be Uma Thurman's nephew and is Mary-Kate's first boyfriend since being single for a year after Paris Hilton stole her last boyfriend Stavros Niarchos.
It warms the heart to see that even creepy looking monkey-people can find love in this crazy mixed up world of ours. Being worth half a billion probably helps, but I'm sure there are a ton of guys out there who'd love her just for her. I mean guys love Zoolander, so it only makes sense they'd love a girl who looks likes him. Sort of like how guys love girls who look like Chuck Norris. Although that's mostly just for their very handsome beards.
RELATED STORIES
Reader Comments
1. GirlyGirl - October 17, 2006 7:53 AM
She looks jacked up in that picture. Does she only date oil heirs?
2. Anastasia_Beaverhausen - October 17, 2006 7:55 AM
Why is there a picture of Tim Burton's Corpse Bride on a Olsen post?
3. BigJim - October 17, 2006 7:58 AM
Looking at her makes things shrivel up to Federline proportions.
4. mrs.t - October 17, 2006 7:58 AM
I love that smirky lip thing she's always doing. It's like she has a delightful little secret and she just might tell you if you gaurd the bathroom door while she pukes up the grape she ate for lunch.
5. CelebSlam.com - October 17, 2006 7:58 AM
Whew! Now I can finally sleep at night
http://www.celebslam.com
6. mrs.t - October 17, 2006 7:59 AM
*guard* , or do I mean gourd? goiter?
7. Dr.Rokter - October 17, 2006 7:59 AM
I heard an internet rumor that if you stuff an Olsen twin into a liter bottle of Coca Cola, you get an invigorating tonic for the nerves, and a residual adhesive 10,000 times stronger than commercially available epoxy.
8. jrzmommy - October 17, 2006 8:02 AM
Max's mother is fucking fuming. "She looks like something left at a Grateful Dead rock concert, Maxwell....my GOD!"
9. mrs.t - October 17, 2006 8:04 AM
I heard the same rumor, only it was my understanding that she must be wearing a Helmut Lang gown for the adhesive to reach it's full potential.
10. NipsyHustle - October 17, 2006 8:04 AM
i find tree frogs utterly adorable but i could never mount one.
there is no way i'd let little miss manson family into my home. you'd only have yourself to blame when she gutted your dog and shoved his organs up your ass. though something tells me 5% of the male population finds that thought titillating.
11. Italian Stallion - October 17, 2006 8:09 AM
She better not screw this dude over or Beatrice Kiddo will most likely pay her a visit and take her eye out and squish like grape...........
12. Wampoon.com - October 17, 2006 8:17 AM
I imagine painful bone cracking while banging her. Her bones of course.
http://wampoon.com
13. Brain Embolism - October 17, 2006 8:18 AM
See Paris... Mary Kate was celibate for a year... and she's HOT !!!
No, she's not really hot.
14. tits_on_snack - October 17, 2006 8:19 AM
fucking Corpse Bride LOL.
I have always thought the Olsens looked like those goddamn troll dolls. Those good luck trolls that old ladies bring to Bingo.
And I hate their mouths. I detest that weird duckbill pursed-lips face they make, with their eyes all buggin' outta their heads. Shiiiiit.
15. Brain Embolism - October 17, 2006 8:20 AM
@7 - Welcome, good Dr.Rokter
16. slantingthroughdarkness - October 17, 2006 8:31 AM
I see this bitch in my nightmares.
http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com
17. RichPort - October 17, 2006 8:33 AM
Mr. Fish is right, the bitch looks like a fucking lemur.
18. Anastasia_Beaverhausen - October 17, 2006 8:34 AM
Who is this Dr. Rokter asshole?
19. RichPort - October 17, 2006 8:48 AM
The good Dr. Rokter was one of the first ever to reply to a comment of mine, suggesting that I fornicate a throw pillow, then myself, rather than Jessica Simpson. Good times man, good times.
20. sharkbite - October 17, 2006 8:49 AM
She's just so tiny. It's scary.
http://www.scandalsnappers.com
21. HolisticWisdomcom - October 17, 2006 8:53 AM
@2 That is funny, that is exactly what I was thinking too. She does look like her.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
22. Guy-Pierre - October 17, 2006 8:53 AM
This Dr.Rokter person sounds like my kind of man.
My curiosity is peaking... Is he by chance, a proctologist?
23. Anastasia_Beaverhausen - October 17, 2006 8:59 AM
Dr. Rokter sounds like a COCK to me....you know what I'm getting at.
24. Brain Embolism - October 17, 2006 9:04 AM
@23 - Ms Beaverhausen, I know what you're driving at, but I believe he's just a good old country type doctor.
Now where the FUCKS the Ferret???
25. Anastasia_Beaverhausen - October 17, 2006 9:06 AM
The commies got Ferret!
The commies got Ferret!
26. ApacheRose - October 17, 2006 9:12 AM
@14
My thoughts EXACTLY. They were fugly even as little kids, but they were *little* kids, so they kinda got a pass, but now... just plain fugly trolls with goldfish lips.
27. ApacheRose - October 17, 2006 9:18 AM
Dr. Rokter's back! Yeah, he's a cock, but he's a hopelessly funny cock.
28. Alex - October 17, 2006 9:23 AM
So, basically, if she marries "4 inches of Snow", then they will control half of the world's money, with the other half controlled by Brandon Davis.
Wait. He's broke. Nevermind.
29. RichPort - October 17, 2006 9:27 AM
I hear the good Dr. Rokter writes on screens also... or something like that.
30. Anastasia_Beaverhausen - October 17, 2006 9:30 AM
@27--nice lol!
31. c - October 17, 2006 10:31 AM
Snow is a druggie alcoholic 'artist' -- the slightly less fucked up Pete Doherty of the NY photography world.
http://popanalysis.blogspot.com
32. JB Fletcher - October 17, 2006 10:33 AM
hey Dr.Rockter,are you a real doctor????
coz lying about having a medical degree or PHD is a felony,i think.
ARE YOU A DOCTOR?ANSWER ME
coz i am.
HA
33. UNWASHEDMASSES - October 17, 2006 12:17 PM
Is it just me, or do her and her sister always eye the camera like they're prepping for a money shot to the face? Pigs.
34. Spindoc - October 17, 2006 12:18 PM
I have Nichole Ritchie slighty ahead of this trainwreck in the celebrity death pool....but only slightly.
35. ElatedPornStar - October 17, 2006 12:41 PM
Those eyes...they pierce the soul.
36. JB Fletcher - October 17, 2006 1:15 PM
holy crap,that picure!
she looks like a south american big eyed monkey.
not cute in any decade for a human to resemble.
go ana!
37. Nick - October 17, 2006 4:28 PM
#2 - Corpse Bride, why can't I think of stuff like that! I must be in a minority because I'd still date her if she was flat broke...
38. G - October 17, 2006 4:40 PM
Thats what the boogeyman looks like. Except she sleeps under heirs and not under beds.
39. applecrisp - October 17, 2006 4:44 PM
Mary-Kate: Is she the fat one?
40. sukieD - October 17, 2006 6:54 PM
She is beginning to rival Fairuza Bulk in the freakiness stakes...
41. herbiefrog - October 18, 2006 7:59 AM
...we're glad mk is out an about
...at least she's not showing all her bits
...classy :)
well more classy than some others...
...just to stay in with the superficial crowd
...doesnt she look like a duck billed platypuss?
err... no?
see... told you it wouldnt even get a laugh
...best just stay with the truth
...have fun hun :)
ps ears open this weekend...
42. tweetyeyes - October 18, 2006 12:36 PM
Holy shit! Is this Fiona Apple or the afterbirth of a baby gorilla?
43. naeboo~ - October 19, 2006 3:19 AM
she looks like she has more relations to monkeys than sea monkeys.
44. xplayoboyx - October 20, 2006 2:04 AM
ok i know all of u are not gonna sit here and say how ugly this girl is she had a website with a countdown of billions of guys waiting for her to turn 18 shes gorgeous her sister too
45. ImaniOU - October 21, 2006 5:25 AM
You know, when they were little, we used to joke how much they resembled chimps. But now that they are 20, we talk how they resemble crack whore...chimps.
Congrats Mary-Kate. Perhaps she could invest part of her fortune into a prada bag...preferrable paper. For her head.
46. cole007 - October 23, 2006 11:14 AM
wow - no one really cares about them at all.
47. HollywoodSnark - March 22, 2007 12:22 PM
stick girl is dating some random jerk....wow