October 17, 2006
Mary-Kate Olsen is dating again
20-year-old Mary-Kate Olsen has reportedly been dating oil heir Maxwell Snow for about a month now. Snow happens to be Uma Thurman's nephew and is Mary-Kate's first boyfriend since being single for a year after Paris Hilton stole her last boyfriend Stavros Niarchos.
It warms the heart to see that even creepy looking monkey-people can find love in this crazy mixed up world of ours. Being worth half a billion probably helps, but I'm sure there are a ton of guys out there who'd love her just for her. I mean guys love Zoolander, so it only makes sense they'd love a girl who looks likes him. Sort of like how guys love girls who look like Chuck Norris. Although that's mostly just for their very handsome beards.
Previous Entries
» Kevin Federline is going to get body slammed» Jessica Simpson is busting out of her shirt
» Brandon Davis is broke
» Vince Vaughn sues for cheating on Jennifer Aniston
» Sheryl Crow performs in her bikini
Comments
1. Posted by GirlyGirl on October 17, 2006 7:53 AM
She looks jacked up in that picture. Does she only date oil heirs?
2. Posted by Anastasia_Beaverhausen on October 17, 2006 7:55 AM
Why is there a picture of Tim Burton's Corpse Bride on a Olsen post?
3. Posted by BigJim on October 17, 2006 7:58 AM
Looking at her makes things shrivel up to Federline proportions.
4. Posted by mrs.t on October 17, 2006 7:58 AM
I love that smirky lip thing she's always doing. It's like she has a delightful little secret and she just might tell you if you gaurd the bathroom door while she pukes up the grape she ate for lunch.
5. Posted by CelebSlam.com on October 17, 2006 7:58 AM
Whew! Now I can finally sleep at night
http://www.celebslam.com
6. Posted by mrs.t on October 17, 2006 7:59 AM
*guard* , or do I mean gourd? goiter?
7. Posted by Dr.Rokter on October 17, 2006 7:59 AM
I heard an internet rumor that if you stuff an Olsen twin into a liter bottle of Coca Cola, you get an invigorating tonic for the nerves, and a residual adhesive 10,000 times stronger than commercially available epoxy.
8. Posted by jrzmommy on October 17, 2006 8:02 AM
Max's mother is fucking fuming. "She looks like something left at a Grateful Dead rock concert, Maxwell....my GOD!"
9. Posted by mrs.t on October 17, 2006 8:04 AM
I heard the same rumor, only it was my understanding that she must be wearing a Helmut Lang gown for the adhesive to reach it's full potential.
10. Posted by NipsyHustle on October 17, 2006 8:04 AM
i find tree frogs utterly adorable but i could never mount one.
there is no way i'd let little miss manson family into my home. you'd only have yourself to blame when she gutted your dog and shoved his organs up your ass. though something tells me 5% of the male population finds that thought titillating.
11. Posted by Italian Stallion on October 17, 2006 8:09 AM
She better not screw this dude over or Beatrice Kiddo will most likely pay her a visit and take her eye out and squish like grape...........
12. Posted by Wampoon.com on October 17, 2006 8:17 AM
I imagine painful bone cracking while banging her. Her bones of course.
http://wampoon.com
13. Posted by Brain Embolism on October 17, 2006 8:18 AM
See Paris... Mary Kate was celibate for a year... and she's HOT !!!
No, she's not really hot.
14. Posted by tits_on_snack on October 17, 2006 8:19 AM
fucking Corpse Bride LOL.
I have always thought the Olsens looked like those goddamn troll dolls. Those good luck trolls that old ladies bring to Bingo.
And I hate their mouths. I detest that weird duckbill pursed-lips face they make, with their eyes all buggin' outta their heads. Shiiiiit.
15. Posted by Brain Embolism on October 17, 2006 8:20 AM
@7 - Welcome, good Dr.Rokter
16. Posted by slantingthroughdarkness on October 17, 2006 8:31 AM
I see this bitch in my nightmares.
http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com
17. Posted by RichPort on October 17, 2006 8:33 AM
Mr. Fish is right, the bitch looks like a fucking lemur.
18. Posted by Anastasia_Beaverhausen on October 17, 2006 8:34 AM
Who is this Dr. Rokter asshole?
19. Posted by RichPort on October 17, 2006 8:48 AM
The good Dr. Rokter was one of the first ever to reply to a comment of mine, suggesting that I fornicate a throw pillow, then myself, rather than Jessica Simpson. Good times man, good times.
20. Posted by sharkbite on October 17, 2006 8:49 AM
She's just so tiny. It's scary.
http://www.scandalsnappers.com
21. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on October 17, 2006 8:53 AM
@2 That is funny, that is exactly what I was thinking too. She does look like her.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
22. Posted by Guy-Pierre on October 17, 2006 8:53 AM
This Dr.Rokter person sounds like my kind of man.
My curiosity is peaking... Is he by chance, a proctologist?
23. Posted by Anastasia_Beaverhausen on October 17, 2006 8:59 AM
Dr. Rokter sounds like a COCK to me....you know what I'm getting at.
24. Posted by Brain Embolism on October 17, 2006 9:04 AM
@23 - Ms Beaverhausen, I know what you're driving at, but I believe he's just a good old country type doctor.
Now where the FUCKS the Ferret???
25. Posted by Anastasia_Beaverhausen on October 17, 2006 9:06 AM
The commies got Ferret!
The commies got Ferret!
26. Posted by ApacheRose on October 17, 2006 9:12 AM
@14
My thoughts EXACTLY. They were fugly even as little kids, but they were *little* kids, so they kinda got a pass, but now... just plain fugly trolls with goldfish lips.
27. Posted by ApacheRose on October 17, 2006 9:18 AM
Dr. Rokter's back! Yeah, he's a cock, but he's a hopelessly funny cock.
28. Posted by Alex on October 17, 2006 9:23 AM
So, basically, if she marries "4 inches of Snow", then they will control half of the world's money, with the other half controlled by Brandon Davis.
Wait. He's broke. Nevermind.
29. Posted by RichPort on October 17, 2006 9:27 AM
I hear the good Dr. Rokter writes on screens also... or something like that.
30. Posted by Anastasia_Beaverhausen on October 17, 2006 9:30 AM
@27--nice lol!
31. Posted by c on October 17, 2006 10:31 AM
Snow is a druggie alcoholic 'artist' -- the slightly less fucked up Pete Doherty of the NY photography world.
http://popanalysis.blogspot.com
32. Posted by JB Fletcher on October 17, 2006 10:33 AM
hey Dr.Rockter,are you a real doctor????
coz lying about having a medical degree or PHD is a felony,i think.
ARE YOU A DOCTOR?ANSWER ME
coz i am.
HA
33. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on October 17, 2006 12:17 PM
Is it just me, or do her and her sister always eye the camera like they're prepping for a money shot to the face? Pigs.
34. Posted by Spindoc on October 17, 2006 12:18 PM
I have Nichole Ritchie slighty ahead of this trainwreck in the celebrity death pool....but only slightly.
35. Posted by ElatedPornStar on October 17, 2006 12:41 PM
Those eyes...they pierce the soul.
36. Posted by JB Fletcher on October 17, 2006 1:15 PM
holy crap,that picure!
she looks like a south american big eyed monkey.
not cute in any decade for a human to resemble.
go ana!
37. Posted by Nick on October 17, 2006 4:28 PM
#2 - Corpse Bride, why can't I think of stuff like that! I must be in a minority because I'd still date her if she was flat broke...
38. Posted by G on October 17, 2006 4:40 PM
Thats what the boogeyman looks like. Except she sleeps under heirs and not under beds.
39. Posted by applecrisp on October 17, 2006 4:44 PM
Mary-Kate: Is she the fat one?
40. Posted by sukieD on October 17, 2006 6:54 PM
She is beginning to rival Fairuza Bulk in the freakiness stakes...
41. Posted by herbiefrog on October 18, 2006 7:59 AM
...we're glad mk is out an about
...at least she's not showing all her bits
...classy :)
well more classy than some others...
...just to stay in with the superficial crowd
...doesnt she look like a duck billed platypuss?
err... no?
see... told you it wouldnt even get a laugh
...best just stay with the truth
...have fun hun :)
ps ears open this weekend...
42. Posted by tweetyeyes on October 18, 2006 12:36 PM
Holy shit! Is this Fiona Apple or the afterbirth of a baby gorilla?
43. Posted by naeboo~ on October 19, 2006 3:19 AM
she looks like she has more relations to monkeys than sea monkeys.
44. Posted by xplayoboyx on October 20, 2006 2:04 AM
ok i know all of u are not gonna sit here and say how ugly this girl is she had a website with a countdown of billions of guys waiting for her to turn 18 shes gorgeous her sister too
45. Posted by ImaniOU on October 21, 2006 5:25 AM
You know, when they were little, we used to joke how much they resembled chimps. But now that they are 20, we talk how they resemble crack whore...chimps.
Congrats Mary-Kate. Perhaps she could invest part of her fortune into a prada bag...preferrable paper. For her head.
46. Posted by cole007 on October 23, 2006 11:14 AM
wow - no one really cares about them at all.