October 30, 2006
Kevin Federline might not be as great as he thinks he is

Despite being the greatest artist of our generation and the most underrated person in Hollywood - or the planet Earth for that matter - so few $20 tickets have been sold for Kevin Federline's Nov. 4 show that sources at Webster Hall say "we may just cancel it. New Yorkers are clearly not fans of 'Popozao' [Federline's pathetic first single]." Additionally, his Cleveland show was also canceled due to lack of interest.
I refuse to believe it. I've heard Popozao. I've seen the madness caused by its lyrical genius and bumpin' beats. It's as if Kevin Federline managed to reach out and touch God himself. And then grabbed him, ate him, and squeezed him out of his butthole in musical format. Only replace 'God' with feces. Because the song's creation seems only possible by the processing of feces into even more concentrated feces. It's that feces-tacular.
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Comments
1. Posted by Cruzadas on October 30, 2006 8:19 AM
Kevin, you suck.
He's the new Vanilla Ice. Only worst...
2. Posted by 1-Ton on October 30, 2006 8:20 AM
I don't want to be first.
3. Posted by RichPort on October 30, 2006 8:21 AM
And when I return the two tickets I bought, then what?
4. Posted by 1-Ton on October 30, 2006 8:23 AM
Popozao = not that bad. Unfortunately, K-Fed's ridiculousness preceeds him.
5. Posted by slantingthroughdarkness on October 30, 2006 8:24 AM
Don't let the bastards bring you down K-Fed. You rock.
http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com
6. Posted by no one you know on October 30, 2006 8:29 AM
The fact that his Cleveland show was canceled due to "lack of interest" makes me, for a change, or perhaps even for once, proud to be an Ohioan.
7. Posted by jrzmommy on October 30, 2006 8:31 AM
The world is just not ready for the second coming of Vanilla Ice. Never. And when I say never I mean NEVER EVER!!!
I'm telling ya...it's the same dude:
K-Fuck (exhibit A)
http://thebosh.com/archives/upload/2006/08/husband-Kevin-Federline.jpg
Vanilla Ice (exhibit B)
http://www.lasvegasgolf.com/images/features/vanilla-ice.jpg
8. Posted by seyoboy on October 30, 2006 8:35 AM
Uh celebrities only think on themselves
http://celebrity-oops-money-gossip.blogspot.com/
9. Posted by Italian Stallion on October 30, 2006 8:39 AM
Even the blonkies don't like this wegro........
10. Posted by BigJim on October 30, 2006 8:40 AM
I was having a hard time determining who I hate more: this brainless cockbag, or Paris Hilton. I have come to the conclusion that K-Earl is more worthy of my undying enmity, for the simple reason that he has had the audacity to procreate not once, nor twice, but four motherfucking times.
And look at who he’s sharing his befouled genetic material with: a dimwitted hillbilly whose singing closely resembles a hyena on fire, and Shar Jackson. Okay, I don’t know anything about Shar, but she can’t be terribly bright because she:
a) Was stupid enough to have sex with Earl.
b) Was stupid enough to allow Earl to impregnate her
c) Upon learning of the demon spawn growing inside of her, was stupid enough to bring it to term, rather than make the logical choice of heading forthwith to the nearest abortion clinic, or at the very least her closet to grab a coat hanger.
d) Was stupid enough to repeat the above process a second time.
Yes, folks, I can honestly say that I hate Earl even more than I detest Paris Hilton or even my white trash next-door neighbor, whose barking dog is not long for this world. Mark my motherfucking words.
In conclusion, this story proves that there may indeed be a God, and He might not completely hate us.
11. Posted by Mojo on October 30, 2006 8:41 AM
i didnt have a problem with federline when he was just spending britney's cash.i mean it's not like she really deserved it anyway.but now that this douche wants to act like he actually has talent i cant friggin stand him.
http://www.celebriteaze.blogspot.com/
12. Posted by gatorbates on October 30, 2006 8:42 AM
The only way that trash would get $20 from me would be if I could fire off paint balls at his face.
Or if he'd let me tap that trailer whore wife of his.
Wait a minute. I think I'd only pay $5 for that.
13. Posted by TheDarkLady on October 30, 2006 8:43 AM
@6 I totally agree.
I live about an hour south of Cleveland. This post was the first I had even heard about this idiot wanting to do a show here. Kind of nice to read something positive about Ohio for a change.
14. Posted by RichPort on October 30, 2006 8:43 AM
#9 - HA!
I just can't stand the way Earl ends every sentence with 'yo', yo.
15. Posted by Pagan Queen on October 30, 2006 8:49 AM
Poor Earl, cant even see himself on MTV in 20 years time on a "One Hit Wonder" show, or "Where Are They Now".
BigJim - get a dog whistle and blow it each time it barks. That will eventually stop him. Not to mention you can blow it at night and have him start howling in the house while the owners are trying to sleep.
16. Posted by PapaHotNuts on October 30, 2006 8:50 AM
You mean it would only cost me $20.00 to have the chance to hurl a fucking beer bottle at his head? That's a deal. That's the Wal-Mart of concerts. I'm calling Ticketmaster, or Circle-K, or the City Dump- whoever is selling tickets to this incredible musical event.
17. Posted by Angry Ferret Jones on October 30, 2006 8:51 AM
I have a simple solution to this problem.
Just fill the stadium with all of Earl's illegitimate children. It will be standing room only then.
18. Posted by Spindoc on October 30, 2006 8:51 AM
Damn you Superfish, I just posted this on my blog. Although I also include the number of seats Webster Hall actually holds...it ain't pretty, the amount of seats in there isn't high.
Maybe K-Fed can go back to doing what he did before for money. Oh wait....
19. Posted by Adult Underoos on October 30, 2006 8:58 AM
but i love poopoozoa! oh nos!
stupid underwear i designed --> http://funderpants.com
20. Posted by sexybitch on October 30, 2006 8:58 AM
@16, if you can hold off buying a ticket, it'll only be a matter of time before Britney buys out the Hall and gives away tickets. She might have to bang people as incentive tho. And pay them, too. For both.
21. Posted by isitin on October 30, 2006 9:04 AM
Well they have also cancelled his Kevin Federline In the Club Harlem Ballroom show in Atlantic City. Looks good on this nobody.
22. Posted by Anisettekiss on October 30, 2006 9:06 AM
Dear Fans of Kevin Fed,
Do humanity a favor and DRINK THE KOOL-AID.
That is all.
23. Posted by yummy on October 30, 2006 9:10 AM
i would love to gargle with his semen! he's the ideal man - cock as big as a black man's, but, you know, an actual human instead of part-monkey
24. Posted by bigponie on October 30, 2006 9:16 AM
will someone please give K-fraud the 'red pill', the reality of knowing that he is a walking feces will kill him instantly.
25. Posted by Spindoc on October 30, 2006 9:17 AM
#23, he doesn't have a big cock, your mistake is that when you look at him you see a giant penis wearing a little hat. It's a common mistake, thats actually him, not his cock.
His actual cock is much smaller and smells like wet cheesepuffs from all reports.
26. Posted by jrzmommy on October 30, 2006 9:22 AM
A is for Asshole. It's right there on his hat.
27. Posted by Nik on October 30, 2006 9:25 AM
I'm thoroughly convinced by all the coverage on this site that Kevin Earl is a mutation of a long-ago ex boyfriend. The one I decided I'd stab in the neck next time I saw him.
28. Posted by yummy on October 30, 2006 9:34 AM
no, there are pictures, it's BIG
29. Posted by bigponie on October 30, 2006 9:34 AM
why is it that when I see K-fraud RedruM appears on the wall...
30. Posted by RichPort on October 30, 2006 9:37 AM
I still think it's a clean shaven David Koresh and the gubment never really bonfired him as promised. Yet another reason to hate Clinton.
31. Posted by ponk on October 30, 2006 9:39 AM
just when I was giving up hope that there were rational people in society, we get uplifting new like this.
32. Posted by PrettyBaby on October 30, 2006 9:51 AM
The black guys that you sometimes see with him make me nuts. WTF whould any self-respecting guy that wants to get in the rap biz do with K-Earl?? Who knows,maybe he lets them ball Britney. AND I hate that he thinks he is just like Eminem. Just Irritating..
33. Posted by PrettyBaby on October 30, 2006 9:52 AM
#28 Girl, here's proof for ya, that a big cock ain't everything
34. Posted by CelebSlam.com on October 30, 2006 10:01 AM
If K-Fed throws a concert, and no one attends, is it still a concert?
http://www.celebslam.com
35. Posted by Jade - The Gossip Girls on October 30, 2006 10:26 AM
Maybe once his album is a certified flop, we'll see less of him. He is so full of himself and truly believes he's a superstar. Guess the public will have to put him in his place.
Unfortunately Britney is using her fanbase to try and sell his music and offering them prizes like meeting her and kevin as the ultimate bribe to buy it. Hopefully they're not dumb enough to fall for it.
Jade
The Gossip Girls
http://www.celebrity-gossip.net
36. Posted by Jade - The Gossip Girls on October 30, 2006 10:28 AM
btw, the "K-Earl" nick is killing me. It's so much better than K-Fed.
K-Earrrrrrrrrrl --- it just rolls right off the tongue lol
37. Posted by yummy on October 30, 2006 10:31 AM
"a big cock ain't everything" = mantra of the lil' cocks
38. Posted by Reid on October 30, 2006 11:02 AM
Yeah, K-Fed yo is really throwing off a Vanilla Ice vibe these days.
And I've noticed Britney with a certain distancing of herself from the human backwash that is K-Fed Yo. Hell, she waited a week to name his latest semi-bastard son.
http://www.reidaboutit.com
39. Posted by InstantAsshat-AddFame on October 30, 2006 11:04 AM
Jade honey--you might just make it here yet! Those insults weren't bad--you just need to make more rude sexual references and you'll have it down pat. ;-)
And while I'm at it, who cares how big K-Feces' cock is? Who'd be dumb enough to fuck a guy who never heard of condoms?
40. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on October 30, 2006 11:17 AM
It just goes to show you that arrogance will only get you so far. The rest is talent.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
41. Posted by yardgraffiti on October 30, 2006 11:19 AM
how funny that those cities even put up with his concerts when they should clearly know that it would go down the drain.
42. Posted by ch474 on October 30, 2006 11:25 AM
#12 - I don't know. We never said how many paintballs we'd shoot at his face, or even if the paintballs would miss his face to land in some other tender area. Neither did anyone say if the paintballs would be emptied of paint, to be filled with some other substance. I'm thinking sulfuric acid perhaps. Throw in a free bang with the still lactating Brit Brit, and I just might pay $20 for that. Of course it would be the cheaper $20 Canadian and not USD.
43. Posted by PrettyBaby on October 30, 2006 11:26 AM
Alright #37, I will respect your attraction to K-Earl, only because I find myself strangely attracted to the occasional Freak/Weirdo (ie- that Hobbit on Lost). In a further extension of my olive branch, I would be will to look at the alleged Large Cock K-Fed photos if you decide to share your link for said photos.
44. Posted by Pagan Queen on October 30, 2006 11:39 AM
Yummy - I cant believe you are warm for Earl the Pearl's form! He is a waste of cells. Maybe you will get your chance and punish him for being such a bad boy, huh?
He did look good all dressed up in a suit for that magazine, tho...except the nails, the hair, the face, the body......
45. Posted by RichPort on October 30, 2006 11:46 AM
And we wonder why Earl keeps having kids... ladies, PLEASE, juuuust because he is married to someone famous doesn't mean you should fuck him. In fact, you should be smacked backwards for even dreaming about it. Wake up and apologize! If you fall for "yo, yo" as a smooth pick up line, boy do me and my johnson have something to tell you...
46. Posted by PrettyBaby on October 30, 2006 12:04 PM
I merely offered to LOOk at the photos for educational purposes only.
47. Posted by GirlyGirl on October 30, 2006 12:25 PM
Sure, the tickets are cheap, but who pays for your medical care when your ears bleed, and your life-long therapy after you go crazy?
I don't know if you could pay ME to go see that shit.
48. Posted by leewhee on October 30, 2006 12:31 PM
K-Fed makes Vanilla Ice look like John Lennon.
49. Posted by Troller on October 30, 2006 12:33 PM
Britney is using her fanbase to try and sell his music and offering them prizes like meeting her and kevin as the ultimate bribe to buy it. Hopefully they're not dumb enough to fall for it
If they are BRITNEY fans, chances are they are stupid enough.
Go away K-Ferl!
50. Posted by Troller on October 30, 2006 12:34 PM
Britney will probably buy enough copies of K-Ferl's record so that it "goes platinum". That way she doesn't have to admit that she's married to a no-talent douche.
51. Posted by jrzmommy on October 30, 2006 12:41 PM
48--blasphemer. Even in jest, that is sick and twisted. Take it back right now and promise to never say it again.
52. Posted by assfacecocknocker on October 30, 2006 12:50 PM
he is not a good singer. i would rather watch a turd for 2 hours. even a sloppy turd is betterer than his performance. unless he is impersonating a turd in which case he is very good and i want to go and see him.
53. Posted by PapaHotNuts on October 30, 2006 12:52 PM
If K-Earl's plane crashed on the Canadian/U.S. border and he survived the wreck, then both countries would be mad that he wasn't dead.
54. Posted by assfacecocknocker on October 30, 2006 1:13 PM
is he was on fire i would piss on him. aww fuk it. i would piss on him anyway, just cos i would like to piss on him with my piss.
55. Posted by PrettyBaby on October 30, 2006 1:28 PM
One thing I do like about Earl- I say "word" and "yo" in my sentences. HE does it, then so can I.
56. Posted by checkyourshorts on October 30, 2006 2:07 PM
Fec-tacular. As underrated as "Short Circuit 2."
57. Posted by EliasAlucard on October 30, 2006 3:39 PM
lol @ k-fag
58. Posted by Soh!B on October 30, 2006 4:46 PM
I need a suga-momma. I gots some rap that's a-dyin' to get out...yo...yo...yo!
59. Posted by Pwnstar on October 30, 2006 6:00 PM
Lmao, one has to feel sorry for this vanilla face once in a while. Still I would snatch his ass up ya smell me?
60. Posted by Truthseeker013 on October 30, 2006 7:09 PM
Cruzadas, you've sorely underestimated this titan. Oh, wait, sorry. I though we were talking about Kevin Nealon. Never mind...
61. Posted by ohshitbaby on October 31, 2006 1:41 AM
I wonder who will be the next victim after Britney sobers up and loses this asshole. Not that I am a Spears fan, but damn this guy is a total piece of shit!
62. Posted by ohshitbaby on October 31, 2006 1:42 AM
I wonder who will be the next victim after Britney sobers up and loses this asshole. Not that I am a Spears fan, but damn this guy is a total piece of shit!
63. Posted by Marjolein on October 31, 2006 3:28 AM
First Paris's album flops, now this!!
Peeps are losing their good taste.
He should stick to what he's good @ and trie to make money by donating sperm or something
64. Posted by SallyUp on October 31, 2006 7:14 AM
Is PopoZao a Californication wannabe? I mean, it worked out great for RHCP but for a guy that doesn t have peppers, red, or hot in his name...well...this is what happens. Silly ass cap and dislexic gestures.
Love it though, mailed it to all my friends. This Kevin guy is making history on VH1 Kept Men Show.
65. Posted by DirtyJeans on November 2, 2006 10:39 AM
My God I hate Kevin Federline, his acting on CSI was short and aweful.