Oct 18 2006Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise still probably getting married

She looks like she getting out of a hearse

Damn. That's exactly what I was going to say. I think she might be on her way to the Haunted Mansion to play her role as Leota.

"Hurry baa-aaack, hurry baa-aaack..."

P.S.

Looks like someone ate her ass off. And not in a good way.

Her booty be so flat homeboys be linin' up to tag that ass!

I think it's sick how thin she is after giving birth.
I'm all for taking the piss out of celebrities, but really people - that is SO not how it works.

6th!!! Highest I have ever been!!

Man I need a life

#1

She just buried her career.

#5 "giving birth" think about that for a moment, this person is married to Tom Cruise, she may have given something but surely not birth.

#7 - brilliant

#8 - You're right - what the f*ck was I thinking?!

Where da booty at? Other than that she looks good.

Oh yeah and since when did people drive around in a hearse... and wear all black. hmmmm very emo

baby got (no) back.

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maybe I'm not a fashionista, maybe I don't hang around with Victoria Beckham, maybe I masturbate too much and maybe I wear a mankini while I post and maybe I abuse cocaine....but I know one thing: back pockets should not ride in the back of your fucking neck, I don't care if you are married to Maverick.

Where's Katie's ass? About to be standing next to her at her wedding.

http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

Is that a bowling ball bag in the second picture. I'll bet it is. So she obviously lost all that weight by going bowling. And if its not a bowling ball bag, then he is probably lugging Suri around in it.

Talk about typical white girl ass. If that doesn't prove TCLTC I don't know what does.

is it really no ass or just giant thighs that hide a normal ass?

Presumably her ass got hoovered along with all the other baby weight?

also, #5, it's been 6 months since she had suri (to the day actually--fine, i'm a loser) and that's plenty of time to be back in shape. besides, her thighs got huge and never shrunk. it's no heidi "2 weeks and i'm back in a lingerie fashion show" klum magic, so don't blame katie just because you couldn't do it.

Don't worry about it #19, you're not a loser...

Her pants are so tight they look like sausage casings.

The reason for the constant delays in the wedding was because they were having problems with cloning L. Ron.

And as far as cock-lovin' Tom Cruise is concerned, he is the only one worthy of performing the ceremony.

Her bag is massive. Is she carrying Tom in it?

http://glossedover.com

OK, this is one time I actually agree with my mother, who told me, "IA-AF, when you have little ripples on the legs and butt of your pants, they're too fucking tight!"

OK, I added the word 'fucking.' My mom couldn't even tell me my grandpa had prostate cancer. She said he had cancer 'down there.'

Is that a hearse she's getting out of

http://www.celebslam.com

she is in an ass deficit.

she reminds me of my kindergarten teacher who always played the piano in class. one day she asked me to come sit on the bench beside her. i said no. she asked why and i told her i didn't want a flat butt. the bitch put me in timeout for keeping it real.

anyway, i have a fine ass now shaped like a peach. i've never sat on a piano bench so i think there was some logic to my theory.

i think they're waiting until "everyone can get married" - or should.

#24:

It's not prostate cancer, it's called ass cancer -- get it right.

Speaking of which, perhaps that's what Katie is suffering from, and the chemo ate her ass all up.

Or perhaps it was Tom who ate her ass, because he loves the taste of poo, albeit usually slurping it off a dick that just came out of his ass.

i think tome commanded scientology aliens to zap it away with their lazers because it was a bad influence on the baby cos it stinks like turds

hey assface... me like to want know how you learning the way of typing the english ways of talking

especially too with no using of any puncuation

impressed i am

I don't think she'll ever escape the clutches of Tom Cruise.

http://theblemish.com

#30 - krisdylee, that's funny!

28 - BigJim, in your last sentence there, are you talking about ATM?

oh my god Big jim,that is sick and wrong and god help me but your fucking hilarious.

made my day,wiping tear of happiness away.

seriously though,tom cruise eats a lot of cock,and all the traffic that has passed through his back passage must surely have left him faecally incontinent by now.

his prostate gland is just a sweet memory from chilhood.

Kate has two major functions,1.obviously a cover to prove he is not gay,coz she ALL woman,and 2.OBVIOUSLY so he can steal her tampons to plug up his leaky back passage.squelch.

IM SO IN LOVE!YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH(pulls of human head)

Isn't she rich? Can't she afford a nice thong or g string so she doesn't have nasty ass panty lines? I guess now that she a mom, "Kate," Tom commands that she wear granny panties.

I hate girls with flat ass, you can't see the bootie wave when your pounding it from behind.

I have a cuban ass. I'm going to say it, it is big, round, wonderful, and very muscular from dancing. I would be more than happy to donate half of my ass to her if it makes her look better. Seriously. I also have big boobs. That works out for me well, and I am not donating them. Also, my thighs are very big from dance and swimming all my life. They are "african" thighs if you know what I mean. I would LOVE to give about 40% of those to her to use where ever she would like. Possibly around her soul to block the bullshit of Maverick Tom Kat. Poor Katie. She's so pretty. It's like she had her tribe marry her off to the elder and she can't do anything about it to get out. If you are being held against your will, Katie, blink twice and help will come. God Bless.

Ok - Katie, is not *that* pretty, but she's better than the average Admin assistant that comes waddling into my cube to harrass me for my timesheets. Get out of my cube, bitch.

High waisted mom pants are back in! Yeah! You gotta love it when your belt may rub against your boobs. Oh Katie... what happened, you used to be a tasty snack and now you're a pressed ham sandwich.

Embolism: Fuckin' d'uh I'm talking ATM.

Speaking of which, I must say that I am not at all impressed with the direction that porn has taken in recent years.

All this ATM stuff grosses me out. I long for the golden age of porn. Not the 70s, mind you. I don't want to be looking at a chick's vag that appears to be having Tina Turner crawling out of it. Too much hair is just plain nasty. A nice shave job with a landing strip so I don't feel like a child molester is nice.

And none of this ATM stuff. The kind of chick who will do that is just raunchy. I prefer looking at a babe who doesn't seem like she's just aching for her next fix of smack and might actually enjoy what she's doing.

I'm guess I'm just old fashioned that way.

You know, BigJim... I feel the same way. What the hell is wrong with a good ol' fashioned fucking? None of this fancy-shmancy ATM, or dirty sanchez or whatever bullshit. Get me nice and wet, throw in some oral action (the proper way), flip me over onto all fours, grab my long blonde (oh, yes, I am not lying) hair, pull hard and pound me. I'm a big girl, I can take it.

BTW, you do know your initials are BJ?

hee hee. BJ....

cole007 you are a lucky hot bitch from the sounds of it.

keep it all man,dont donate.

kate is rich enuff to buy her own ass pillows.well tom is rich enuff to pay for them since he is the antichrist,and we all know that the antichrist is filthy fucking loaded.

thats just how the world is today.

i wish i had a cuban ass.sounds amazing.do you also have that elusive ass cleavage?

dont answer that,if its yes,im going to die of jealousy,so im going to assume its no.

fuck off and die James of the micro penis.

kris:

If you're givin', then I'm receiving.

Post # 36/37
I don't see any ego, not at all. :-) Some Cuban's are sexy though. Not all but some.

Katie is nasty. In the the last 6 months that "hollywood diet" has really lived up to it's name. Next we'll see Operah asking to join in on a threesome with Barack Obama and Wife. Now that would make an interesting headline.

Hey it's Hollywood, anything can happen.

http://www.digital-six.net/

You know that Tom be pillowcasing her head and hammerin some 9 year old boy ass.

One look at her so called ass and you know why Tom has her around.

She be needin ass plants in a big muthafuckin way.

The real Katie Holmes died last year. This is a pic of Kate Holmes emerging from the hearst that carried Katies body. RIP.

Not to be too much of a board biatch, but why does every other person on here have to go about their terrifically good looks? It's kinda asinine, not to mention tedious.

And yeah, ass cancer. I'm sure my mom told me it was ass cancer.

She told me after she showed me how to fit a bra over my juicy DD titties and gave me new hairbrush for my shiny long red hair.

Off to hurl my Skittles now....

Congratulations. That was an awesome post.

Yeah, I have no problem with people knowing that I'm a fat slob. Just click the link.

Back on track...

Another thing that really pisses me off about the new porn is this facination with DPs. That's just fucking harsh. And what kind of guy would participate in that?

Dude, when you DP a chick, you're dick is like half an inch away from another guy's dick. That's pretty gay in my book.

And what about DPing the same fucking hole? That's even worse! Your cock is touching another cock, fer fuck's sake! That borders on Tom Cruise gay. You might as well have a cock up your ass at the same time.

Fucking new porn producers are sick fucking fucks that fucking piss me right the fuck off. Fuckers.

Hey have any of you noticed that ferret has not been around for a couple days, and if you try to get on his site it redirects you. You think Edna reported him?

She's probably telling the driver to take her back to Dawson's Creek.

http://www.HolyCandy.com

ANGRY FERRET JONES IS BACK IN THE MOTHER FUCKING HOUSE

Mothers, hide your daughters. I am back from Club Fed and I am looking to put the hammer down.

Big ups to CDC for helping me bring justice to the world. Revenge is a cold mother fucker, mother fucker.

http://angry-ferret.blogspot.com/

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Oh man, I am so goddamn fired up, it is not even rational....

48 It's pesticides Big Jim.
Everyone under 30 is gay now. Or pretending to be bi. Like look around... Justin... Blunt...Nerd culture etc... Hip Hop...Dancing With the Stars...Pink is the new black...and, as Don Cherry would say - those Europeans do a lot of stick-handling.
(not that there's anything wrong with that etc...)

Big Jim as an old school pornography enthusiast I wholeheartedly agree with your views on contemporary pornographic material. What has happened? Way too many penises and way too many low quality skanks.

Give me a Vanessa Del Rio or an underaged Traci Lords over this new crop.

sad

Like the last time I turned up for a casting call - I believe it was an Asian travel-related film - Hong Dong - I said sure - I wouldn't mind a three-some : but who the hell is that guy ?

Wooohoooo, Ferret's back! We thought the commies got ya!

I love the names they came up with for good ol' porn, like Indy Anal Jones and the Temple of Poon, Free My Willy, and The Little Sperm-maid. Classic stuff.

I also like seeing guys with gigantic black cocks shove it into tiny white chicks.

Some days I wish I was black, but I guess I'll just have to settle for being smart. And not in jail.

Bleh being black is overated, like I was telling my parole officer the other day, having a huge dong is great but, what else is there? After all the the shooting, the raping and having seven kids by seven different ho's WHAT ELSE IS THERE?!?!?!

I'll ponder on this as I cash my food stamps tomorrow.

It might be nice being able to dance, too.

I dance like a white guy, or an orangutan with cerebral palsy. Same diff'.

Dude dancing is overated too, in fact I can safely say that everything in life is overated except for....doing coke for the first time and getting your schlong caught in you zipper cause you're in a hurry to see an episode of Wonder Woman. (true story my friend, NOTHING can prepare you for THAT, been wearing buttonfly jeans ever since) buuuut I digress.

If I can add a female opinion about porn here.... would it fucking KILL them to use good-looking "actors"??? And yeah, how about if they actually seemed to be enjoying themselves?

Oh, the term "extreme" should be reserved for sports and theme park rides, not porn. The stuff people come up with....

Ferret, welcome home! What happened to you sounds a helluva lot more exciting than celebrity gossip--wish you could say!

As it is, we have some seriously fucked-up individuals saying some very nasty racist shit, and bragging about their curvacious asses. It's annoying. So not much has changed...

The first porn vid I ever saw had John Holmes. I never saw anyone looking less excited. That poor girl he was doing ti with had all she could do just to keep him semi-soft. I was blown away that my fiture hubby wanted me to see porn starring a guy whose schlong was twice as big as his. Maybe it worked---12" is scary!

ApacheRose, I'm with you--and I'm fucking sick of seeing the word 'extreme' placed in front of every single noun in the universe, like somehow that makes whatever it is better...extreme peanut butter...extreme Skittles...extreme herpes...nope, doesn't excite me at all.

I haven't much of the recent porn stuff. My 'extreme' imagination is a lot more classy.

You guys think maybe the recent dirge of decent-looking porn stars is because porn is so cheap to make now? Anyone can get a camera and make it, so they probably don't pay these people much.

You perverts are off topic.

And your point is....?

Continue

I am not sure where porn comes into play regarding Katie's flat behind, but for those of you who are interested, I just wrote and article about porn-

http://www.holisticwisdom.com/porn-in-america.htm

Barbado and Jim: Yep, that's why most white chicks dance with their girlfriends...

Why can't these white boys dance?

Mother fucking why???

Jim, best porn I ever fuckin saw is what my friends and I called the Oreo Cookie. (can't remember the real name of the flick) Yep, two huge black guys, fucking a white chick. Now, considering your rant about cocks being this close to one another may be "gayish": keep in mind that it was the early 80's, her beaver was trimmed, albeit slightly, and DP'ing was relatively new in porn.... it was still hot (and slightly weird) watching it with my girlfriends during my teen years...

Oh, and Ferret, I just pressed my tit on my monitor for you.

I need to mention I fucking heart you all. I heart you with all my quivering pink taco.

#37 - All I can say is "Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking . . . just a moment."

Now as far as porn goes - I remember a flick from the 70's where a really nasty looking beyotch got DP'ed and kept asking the guys back and forth "Can you feel him?"

Now that is REPULSIVE. At least porn today has fake tits. Nasty lookin' beyotches make up for faces that look like feces by having big cans.

Here's what I can't get over - why would Jenna Jameson think that men would believe that her rubbing some chick's tit across her vag gives her the big "O"? No f'n way.

Shouts out to SizeTenShoeski - North Carolina's king of porn, and the Hamburglar - keeper of the largest collector of porn in Ohio. L8r.

I often wondered who was rockin' in North Carolina porn - let alone Ohio - 'the Buckeye State.'
Thanks for sharing.
(BTWUII)

#67 - Thanks, that made me all tingly in my naughty place!

(*)(*)

I know one white guy who could Kinda dance... mate of mine and we used to go out to clubs just to take the piss outa white guys who couldn't dance but tried anyway.

A few of our dances include-

The Angry Man- Think fists clenched, feet stomping, head kinda wiggling/shaking side to side out of time with the beat and clenched teeth... looks kinda constipated.

The Concentrating Man- Must. Stare. At. Hips. Whole. Time. Otherwise. Loose. Control. Fall. Over. Thoughts. Are. Distracting.

Hands Up- The music slows down, the beat is big, you know its about to pick up again so what do you do... HANDS UP and watch everyone follow.

The Singing Man- Thinks he's top shit. Thinks he can dance. Thinks he can sing. Does a kinda rocking his body and thrusting hips dance completely out of time while pulling a "Sexy" face, mouthing the words to the song and pointing at randome chicks. Eg. "You and me baby" with pointing, expressions ect.

The Flyer- Stands in one spot, twists his body side to side style, hunched over slightly with arms spread wide and swinging with body to prevent falling over.

The list goes on!

katie apparently has the longest ass EVER

Hurrah: fab postings!

Flat arse (sorry, I a Brit): how can she not have noticed that? I been working my arse hard at the gym lately for fear of weight-loss related flatness.

Porn: you guys are behind the times. The current porn is Human Porn. It goes like this - Go to a bar/club. Frott against a hot stranger whilst explaining that you're only doing it for kicks. Go home horny. Fuck your partner. Much more fun than flat screen jiggery, as long as all parties are in agreement.

The Singing Man: that is totally my elder brother. He dances like an electrocuted spider. Once came at me on a dancefloor mouthing "I got your number written on the back of my hand" whilst miming the action. I still traumatised. It was 1990.

Pointing Chav: this is a Brit phenomenon involving a shaveheaded twat in a Burberry cap with a fag in his mouth and a beer bottle in the hand that isn't jabbing in the air going "techno techno techno".

As an aside: is the delay behind the TomKat wedding due to arguments over who gets to wear the meringue and veil?

Makes me wonder if Suri isn't made out of Kate's buttcheaks.

Think about it.

tom must have emphasised his liking of boyish butts to pressure the ass off her post baby figure. hehehe

p/s:she never had a career with that blah teenage drama whatever

What happened to her ass? I think she gave birth to a piece of it along with the kid.

Is she getting into hearse? What the fuck is that?

56--There's a porno named Driving Miss Daisy Crazy

In most porn the girl just looks bored and what's with the looong fake nails? In reality they'd scratch any guy's cock off.

LOL @72..there's more comedy when they try.

Now back to the crater that used to be Katie's ass. Tom's using it as a
stepladder so he can reach John Travolta's man parts.

As always TCLTC...

It's because she has lost weight but she's still flabby. She poured her liquid ass into those pants.

what an asshole. She wears her ginormous cliche movie star sunglasses inside of a vehicle with curtains blocking the windows. Does she shower with her beloved sunglasses on, too?

I don't know why but for some reason I just don't care when this little gay man and this lip-herpie infested giant get married... Ugly ass or not... I still think that she'd look better walking down the aisle ass 1st than with the herp sores that were posted on fish... yeck!!! BTW: Hey JRZMOMMY!!! Ferret the site looks "hot","do u love it?" No seriously- good times!!!

I don't know why but for some reason I just don't care when this little gay man and this lip-herpie infested giant get married... Ugly ass or not... I still think that she'd look better walking down the aisle ass 1st than with the herp sores that were posted on fish... yeck!!! BTW: Hey JRZMOMMY!!! Ferret the site looks "hot","do u love it?" No seriously- good times!!!

Hey NNGirl!

WTF!!!??? Sorry... fish freaked when I tried to post!!! I suck it!!! Sorry all!

Good ol' waist and legs Holmes... she has the ass of an old white guy in speedos at the pool... and TCLTC.

she's got to earn those 30 mil a year somehow, it must be through the elimination of food in her life...but then, she's got to look pretty for her girlfriend, now doesn't she...yes, pun intended on both parts.

I would just like it to be known that I am the one who started this whole porn conversation.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to get back to watching Grinding Nemo, Womb Raider, and Tittle Slickers 2: The Legend of Gold Curlies.

I too used to play a road trip game that involved changing movie titles and TV show titles to porn titles, like Charlie's Anals, Willy Wanker IN the Chocolate Factory, The Sperminator, Dif'rent Strokes (no need to change that one) etc...

Thanks guys... I'm soooo gonna win next time...

13 you crack me up

I sit on my ass all day and I still have a bigger rear than her. Looks like a frickin' spoon...with lasers.

http://wampoon.com

Rich--did you ever play the game that you take the title of a movie and replace one word of the title with "vagina?" Like, "A Vagina Runs Through It" or "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Vagina". Loads of fun.

Is it me, or does she look like Michael Jackson? And can somene tell me what TCLTC means (I'm not from round here!)

I can't believe no one pointed this out previously but it looks like she has a case of noassatall. HA. I love that one.

She needs herself a good pair of Mom Jeans... it's a shame because she's far too young for that.

#95 - it means Tom Cruise Loves the Cock. It's a dumb saying from months ago that won't die.

Maybe it's because she looks like death also, but the curtains on the window make it seems like she's stepping into a hearse.

biatcho:

It won't die because it's true.

TCLTC Forever!

Well, she is still good looking with or without clothes....

http://katieholmes.celebscentral.net

CANMAN:

She was passable until her soul was consumed and she became the evil tissue of lies that is Tomkat.

TCLTC is not just a saying, it's an institution, it's a way of lfe.

Jrz - I never played that one; I always thought the word vagina (though technically accurate) was a bit too smug for me. I did however enjoy playing the fortune cookie game, where you read every fortune and end it with "in bed".

"Someone you love is thinking about you (in bed)"

"Strength and prosperity are the keys to happiness (in bed)"

"Fucking TC means you LTC (in bed)"

Childish? Yes. Funny? Absolutely. Asking questions then answering them yourself? Odd and annoying. RichPort an asshole? Obviously...

Yes, I did watch Dawson's Creek and one scene comes to mind:

Joey: You did it again! You grabbed my ass!!

Pacey: Like you even have one!

Would it be too much to ask for her to take off the sunglasses before she gets in the car? Or was she actually wearing them in the car too?

Proof positive that Cruise is Gayer the Gay...

He makes all his women work out until they are shaped like boys and old queers love the twinks...

Have a happy 'marriage' Twink...I mean Katie...or is Tom call you "Nate" now??...

Ahhhhhhhh, the life of a beard...ridin' in hearsts an' all....

P.S.

I must declare the battle cry

T C L T C Forever!! you stupid F**k

I sit all day (I'm a pain in the ass admin assistant. But I won't ask for your timesheet, I promise.) I do butt-flexes all day.

Oh yea, and "Kate Cruise" is a freak. She's not even 30 and she's turned into fucking 50 year old since she's been with the Cruiser. I'm waiting for her to come out with a fucking bee-hive.

Looks like she's going to her funeral instead of heading down the alter. Seriously anyone, is this couple gonna even last that long?

Looks like she's heading to the funeral home instead of down the alter. Seriously anyone, is this couple going to even last that long?

Nice window treatments, Tom must have picked those out.

Is she carrying Tom in that fucking bag or what? It's fucking huge people! I hope it's full of meth or cocaine, because that's the only way she's going to have any drive to don her strap on and ram daddy up the ass like only she can.

FAT FUCKING KNEES.

Whew, I feel better for having a belly that hangs down to my toes.

meh, probably....who cares?