October 24, 2006
Jayden James Federline is a boy
Well that was the shortest mystery ever. Just hours after speculation over Britney Spears' new baby, a birth certificate was filed at the L.A. County Registrar-Recorder's office today confirming that the baby is indeed a boy but that his name is Jayden James Federline and not Sutton Pierce as previously reported.
And Kevin Earl Federline has about the worst signature I've ever seen. It's not even a signature. It looks more like he's concentrating to just print his name correctly. I'm surprised he was literate enough to write "Father" under his relationship to the child instead of drawing a little picture of a dinosaur.
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Comments
1. Posted by seyoboy on October 24, 2006 11:39 AM
Full of crap,,he is a boy haha
http://celebcorner.blogspot.com/
2. Posted by radio4play on October 24, 2006 11:42 AM
fart
3. Posted by jrzmommy on October 24, 2006 11:45 AM
Earl? Jesus Christ. The neck just keeps getting redder and redder with each day.
4. Posted by CelebSlam.com on October 24, 2006 11:45 AM
Dammit! Jayden James was a perfect porn star name.
http://www.celebslam.com
5. Posted by Anastasia_Beaverhausen on October 24, 2006 11:54 AM
K-fag's middle name is 'Earl'? It just keeps getting better.....
6. Posted by Ed Bambrick on October 24, 2006 12:19 PM
That signature is a forgery- the REAL K-Fed would just use an "x", or just spit on the paper.
7. Posted by Glossed Over on October 24, 2006 12:24 PM
Oh, thank god, we no longer have to ponder the gender of the kid. Now, on to more important matters, like whether Nicole Kidman will attend the wedding of Tom and Katie...
http://glossedover.com
8. Posted by sharkbite on October 24, 2006 12:25 PM
So much for building up the suspense!
http://www.scandalsnappers.com
9. Posted by ponk on October 24, 2006 12:26 PM
just goes to show that Brit and kFed are regular readers of the 'fish'. Thanks for updating us, you two.
10. Posted by jrzmommy on October 24, 2006 12:28 PM
jayden jambalaya john jacob jingleheimerschmidt jumpin joey jo jo.....
11. Posted by Christie on October 24, 2006 12:28 PM
#3 and #6
very funny! hehehe
I knew it would not be too long until the mystery was solved! It was Mr. Plum in the Library with the Wrench.
12. Posted by pinky_nip on October 24, 2006 12:29 PM
Father?
Fuck, it should just say "sperm donor".
13. Posted by nicholelibra on October 24, 2006 12:32 PM
Superfish said:
And Kevin Earl Federline has about the worst signature I've ever seen. It's not even a signature. It looks more like he's concentrating to just print his name correctly. I'm surprised he was literate enough to write "Father" under his relationship to the child instead of drawing a little picture of a dinosaur.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nicholelibra says:
It's no less than a fucking miracle that he or that hillbillie bitch understand the concept of a birth certificate. I half expected him to use it as rolling paper the moment the registrar gave it to him.
14. Posted by RichPort on October 24, 2006 12:38 PM
I'm surprised that illiterate fuck didn't just grab a razor and plant a bloody thumbprint in the 'name' section.
15. Posted by simon134 on October 24, 2006 12:41 PM
"My name is Earl"
Fucking Douche!
16. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on October 24, 2006 12:45 PM
Fascinating. No, I mean it, I am really excited, my life is now complete.
Awkward pause...
Okay, I admit it, I am being sarcastic.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
17. Posted by devodevo on October 24, 2006 12:46 PM
I think Peter from Family Guy really sums up Kevin Federline in this clip:
http://www.trade-movies.com/videos/load.php?in=KEVIN-FEDERLINE~9
hehehehe!
18. Posted by Angry Ferret Jones on October 24, 2006 12:49 PM
What fucking mystery are they talking about? I knew this evil little wee-gro's name way back in September.
I remember the day well, as I had just forced Stool Pigeon to throat me.
http://angry-ferret.blogspot.com/2006/09/say-my-name-bitch.html
19. Posted by Kneecapped on October 24, 2006 12:50 PM
Better signature, Homer Simpson or K-Fed?
20. Posted by commissioner on October 24, 2006 1:06 PM
In my parts, we'd say those two come from "bad stock".
21. Posted by Brain Embolism on October 24, 2006 1:08 PM
@15 simon134 - That used to be my favorite show too... not anymore!
22. Posted by yuckyfresh on October 24, 2006 1:19 PM
finally i will get a full night's sleep!!!!
23. Posted by Flip21 on October 24, 2006 1:19 PM
I think it's safe to say that Kevin Federline's designation from now on should be "Earl."
24. Posted by simon134 on October 24, 2006 1:20 PM
Undeserved sense of accomplishment for sure!
K-Fed, you are the BIGGEST Fucking Tool of my generation!
Bravo!
25. Posted by jrzmommy on October 24, 2006 1:22 PM
Now all I can hear is Juliette Lewis's redneck whiney voice in Kalifornia....."Earl-Lee....I'll be waitin' for ya when ya git home...." and then Brad Pitt's follow-up..."A-dell, put your teet back in your dress!"
26. Posted by yuckyfresh on October 24, 2006 1:23 PM
#10 - joey jo jo jr. schabadoo???
devodevo - do i know you?
27. Posted by Italian Stallion on October 24, 2006 1:29 PM
I still think they should have just named him Fucked.........
28. Posted by PrettyBaby on October 24, 2006 1:30 PM
Speaking of K-Fed, I noticed that idiot constantly makes these hilarious "Yo,Yo Homie, Word" hand motions that I guess are supposed to be like gang signals (?) My Lord, why oh why can't I meet this guy just to taunt him with the love and then.... kick his ass.
29. Posted by shmoody on October 24, 2006 1:39 PM
JJ Spears -- DYNOMITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
30. Posted by Triumph Insult Dog on October 24, 2006 2:13 PM
J.J. Spears, now that's funny?! This will put them right at the top of the Wigger newsletter. Right above "Vanilla Ice's Birthday Coming Soon!".
Another thing, how the heck does TMZ keep getting this stuff. There's a rat in the house!...
http://www.blackbeatpress.com
31. Posted by frenchtoaststix on October 24, 2006 2:18 PM
Angry Ferret, you're the man. I bow down to your superior celebrity knowing-it-allness.
Shmoody used the JJ/Dy-no-MITE joke I was planning to use.
Simon 134 also used the "My Name is Earl" comment I had reserved for backup.
It appears I have arrived too late at the ball!
32. Posted by shmoody on October 24, 2006 2:23 PM
@31 I will give you back the joke if you give me some french toast sticks . . . yummm
33. Posted by ponk on October 24, 2006 3:13 PM
K-Earl (pronounced Kay-Hurl)?
34. Posted by sayll on October 24, 2006 4:01 PM
Hate to rain on your parade, especially since he is such a douche and all, but I don't think that's KE-Fed's signature. I think it's that Katz guy listed underneath.
However, nothing can change the fact that his middle name matches his fashion sense.
35. Posted by Toonlite on October 24, 2006 5:08 PM
the baby is actually the one they used in the Suri Cruise shoot....damn that kid gets around!
36. Posted by KelKel on October 24, 2006 9:31 PM
Jayden? Sutton? Who gives a fuck,just pimp out his crib into a shiny Double Wide and call him Billy-Ray why dont ya.
37. Posted by libtard on October 25, 2006 2:47 AM
shmoody, well played old chap! Now lets see if it sticks.
38. Posted by YoMamma on October 25, 2006 6:39 AM
Is it me, or is it weird to have a scheduled C-section at 1 in the morning....
39. Posted by Pavarottie on October 25, 2006 4:00 PM
What's even more sad is the nice literate people who prepared the certificate typed the DATE of the signing on the form...but K-Earl still wrote it in wrong beside his sad excuse for a signature. Go figure.
40. Posted by frenchtoaststix on October 25, 2006 4:14 PM
#32: french toast stix are even better when battered in beer and dunked in gin.
41. Posted by Truthseeker013 on October 30, 2006 7:23 PM
It's White Trash Heaven...(swooning)