October 24, 2006

Jake Gyllenhaal shows off his penis

jake_gyllenhaal_free_ballin_03.jpg

The perverts at the Famous Males forums have some shots of Jake Gyllenhaal showing off his bulge around NYC without any underwear on (and even included zoomed in closeups for maximum perversion). Which sounds pretty good in theory until you realize it's his penis in there and it's only 2mm of cloth away from breaking free. That's number three on my list of worst things that could ever happen, right under "invasion from a horde of ill-spirited space monkeys" and "finding out my dog Buster didn't really leave to go live on a farm."

More of Jake Gyllenhaal going commando after the jump.

jake_gyllenhaal_free_ballin_01.jpg

jake_gyllenhaal_free_ballin_02.jpg


Previous Entries

» Britney Spears' baby might not be a boy
» Criss Angel might be a sexual predator
» Kate Moss is pregnant
» Madonna kidnaps babies
» Nicole Richie flashes her panties

Comments

1st ?

ahh ha

would anybody really notice if there wasn't any arrows pointing at his crotch ,,,, i think not

I prefer my gay porn lesbian based...

one word: yummy!

That guy is hung like a hamster.

Look at him. Slightly bending over, hoping his shirt might slip over it and hide his shame. It reminds me of a Jeff Foxworthy joke (yes, Jeff Foxworthy.) When a woman says she isn't wearing underwear you think "Oh yeah" but when a man says he isn't wearing underwear the woman thinks "Oh God. I'm going to have to wash those pants twice."

This dude is not attractive and no desire to see his boring cock. All my chicpals hate when dudes joke around with eachother about being gay so definitly hate a dude "pretending" to be gay in a movie.

Note to Men: Don't pretend to be a fag unless you really love dick (and not your own)

shame man - maybe he is a 'grow-er'. he is certainly not a 'show-er'... in any case, men: haven't you heard? size doesn't matter - technique does ;)

The closest I've ever come to acting gay is I shaved my chest hair once.

Itched like a motherfucker for two months growing back.

Never. Ever. Again.

Oh, and I love my own dick a lot.

Is the sun shining a little brighter right now? Do I hear bluebirds chirping? Why do I feel so.........happyish and giddy...hee hee.....

Hmm, car keys in hand while walking away from a taxi cab. Glad he's found a job he's more suited for than acting.

I'd give anything to have sex with this man.

what a great way to start the morning!!

If you get close enough to the screen you can smell Lance Bass Spit on his pants.

He's hung like my little brother

http://www.celebslam.com

the only way these pictures could be better would be a) if his head was shaved, like in Jarhead, and b) he was walking into my bedroom.

That's not a "bulge", that's a point.

It is so rare to see a man get caught in any risque.

http://www.scandalsnappers.com

Jake Gyllenhaal's Penis is a Racist!

Awwww, I love a man who goes commando. Makes me all tingly.

Rump ranger
Protein exchanger
Not a stranger
To anal danger

Front rider
Salami hider
Vaseline slider
Butt cheek divider
Bone smuggler
Nut juggler

These are the names I call Jake Gyllenhaal to piss him off.

Pickle poker
Heinie poker
Chicken choker
Man-hood stroker

Butt slammer
Poop jammer
Rear rammer
Intestine crammer
Jump humper
Scrotum lover

These are the names I call Jake Gyllenhaal to piss him off.

JGLTC?

Angry Ferret Jones is a Racist!

I could just start posting about how Lance Armstrong must be fingering himself as he looks at the pictures of his trick here.

But I'm not gonna do that, I'm not even gonna mention anything on the faggotry trifecta that has this boy swapping shaft with McConagay and the Tour de Fag winner.

I'm classier than that.

@22 - LMAO!!!

#22 newsflash: you're coming off a little gay.

you've spent way too much time thinking up names for "homosexual" behavior which means you've spent WAY TOO MUCH TIME THINKING ABOUT HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR. how do we know you're obsessed with homosexual thoughts? because you posted the evidence on this board.

if you want to cuddle with jake, it's okay. we understand. he's hot, sexy, rich, and famous.

He looks like he has a pimple on his crotch. I mean, shit, it barely makes it past his fly... sad I tell you, just sad...

He's not allowed to be queer. He's too fucking cute. Come see Jrzmommy, Jakey baby, I'll un-gay ya!

"I'm out there Jerry, and I'm loving every minute of it"

Jake Gyllenhaal is a Rump-ranging, Protein-exchanging, Front-riding, salami-hiding, Vaseline-sliding, Butt-cheek-dividing, Bone-smuggling, Nut-juggling, Pickle-poking, Heinie-stroking, Chicken-choking, Man-hood-stroking, Butt-slamming, Poop-jamming, Rear-ramming, Intestine-cramming, Jump-humping, Scrotum-loving, STOOL PIGEON RACIST.

Big Jim - your list ROCKS!

I love hyphens like a fat kid loves cake. I love hyphens like Stool Pigeon loves being an ignorant bastard. That's a lot!

No guy should show off his penis if it resembles a shitake mushroom.

Your gerbil's escaping against, Jake.

http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

*again

Fool is totally sprrting wood. And not a big tree, or branch or anything, either. A tiny little twig.

Looks like he's trying to smuggle an olive in his draw'rs. Yeah... I said it, DRAW'RS. I'm from the South. Blow me.

@35....From the South? Uh-oh, must be a racist....

that pecker belongs on a chicken, not a man.

What females has he ever dated in Hollywood?
Wasn't there ugly Kirstn Dunst and some other faghag?

AHHHHH, I LOVE YOU BIGJIM!!!!

@36.... Nah, we hate everybody equally.

'cept for our Momma's.

Kirsten I mean, yo!

if I throw chicken feed at his feet, I bet I'll see a chicken beak come out of his pants.

ok now you just grossed the fuck outa me

I would be willing to see if he's a grow-er or show-er for all of you. I think the world needs to know.

does his pecker wake him up before dawn by the sound of cock-a-doodle-doo.

This photo is completely understandable. If I had buried my pole in Kirsten Dunst's crustiness it would probably be trying to flee my pants and scurry down the streets in fear, too.

@40 me too! But, apparently that makes me a racist according to Shit Pigeon.

Awww... it's just "sleeping" let him bring his cute ass over here and I will wake it up for him....

#22 "Not a stranger to anal danger" I like it- gotta use that when I advertise my countless wares :)

Well hello Jake! Cumming to Indiana anytime soon?

Thats's not a penis, his kegel weights droppped out of his ass. Gotta try and keep that chocolate starfish nice n' tight.

He don"t have nothing to show ...

http://celebcorner.blogspot.com/

Ok, he is young, good looking and has a hot career.....when Ben, Ashton, Matt Damon etc.. were young and single we saw them out with different girls, or out with their girlfriends in all the magazines, why do we never see any pictures of Jake out with women? Um, Gay Much Jake?

The Ferret is Angry towards racists today... I'm liking it!

KDLJGC.....

jake gyllenhaal is my favorite actor. And he's certainly not gay. It's called talented acting losers. Plus, He's hung like a walrus!

#56

Oh hi Jake, nice of you to drop in. Men who don't wear underwear are either

A. Gay

or

B. Homosexual.

Ummm Hmmmm Well, your right, he showed lots of talent when he "acted" like he loved dicks in Brokeback Mt. I guess I too am a talented actor as I "act" like I love dicks too. Wait, your right- we have a lot in common- I love him too!!

PrettyBaby + Jake Forever!

LOL!

Check out all the fat housewives getting all excited for Jake's two inches.

Go back to eating those bon-bons, fatties!!

Jake & his mouse penis wouldn't go anywhere near you blobs.

and exactly how big was YOUR dick, #59, before your wife cut it and your balls off?

JAKE THE SNAKE is not his nickname, that's for sure.

#59 is suffering from penis envy because his sister said his is two inches when fully erect. Us so called "fat housewives" would never lick your crusty bon-bons. That would make us Desperate Housewives!

I'd totally love to be those pants - skidmarks and all.

#59 Fat Housewives?! Oh no, son! Haven't you ever read on this site when they unleash the frickin hounds! Good Lord, you have got balls possibly.

Back to eating delicious, creamy smooth and decadent bonbons- so yummy!!

I got your fuckin' bon-bons---right fuckin' here!

Apparently his hat does not reveal his size... unless it's in fucking millimeters. Ladies, you better hope he handles raw fish like a sushi chef, because his woodpecker doesn't look like it could put a whole in a twig.

Again, I eat stupid twenty-somethings for breakfast. And Jake G. for lunch. I shave his "bon-bons" before I suckle them.

Oh and I put and remove W's henever I ant. My mother as a hore after all..

I am so amused by the penis size comments. If I could get a dollar for every customer or site visitor that asks us about penis enlargement I would be on lifestyles of the rich and famous.

The obsession with penis size is unreal and a much more heated and sought out desire than breast implants and that is saying a lot!

Here is a link on the wondrous penis-

http://www.holisticwisdom.com/penis-enlargment.htm

As for Jake... thanks for the glimpse, it made my morning.

I'd hit that

the pants and bo-bo tennis shoes are a little less than hot, however. I'd like to see him in......I dunno.......ME!

That's hawt. I'd hit it.

Hey, is that a pinky finger in your pants or do you just have a really small dick?

#59 it sounds like you either have a small dick or you’re fucking a man with a small dick. Bitter? Small dick = "which feels better my finger or my dick." I wonder if that was you who said that to me after five minutes of rabbit fucking back in 2001. Ever been to Fort Collins shorty? Do you still use finger cots as condoms?

THIS is the photo you should be looking at

http://socialitelife.com/images/2006/10/jakebulge102306_01.jpg

#57, I take offense at your remark...well, not real offense. I beg to differ though. My boyfriend is most definately not gay and he rarely wears underwear, which I love. Easier access to the cock. ;)

I go commando a lot, but I'm female. What does that say about me?

He's packing.

ive sucked bigger cocks than that...but i will still suck it, coz its Jake.

Choad much?

he could have a stub, i'd still ride it hard

http://us.video.aol.com/video.index.adp?mode=1&pmmsid=1746697

sexxy.

The sheer idiocy of anyone who thinks they can judge a penis' erect length by its flaccid length speaks volumes about the sexual experience of some people on this site.

It's well known that not all penises swell equally; and I hardly see why flaccid length matters (not that you can even see it all that well in these photos).

Some men have small penises that can grow as much as 300% during erection; others have larger flaccid penises that only add, say, 10% or 20%.

Either way, though, there are few things more pathetic than attempting to use penis size as some sort of measure of awesomness. My boyfriend has a perfectly average penis, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

**HOT OFF THE PRESSES!!**

__Oct. 24, L.A.__

This just in, Jake Gyllenhaal's Penis is a better actor than he is! Much to the surprise of fans everywhere, Jake's penis released a public statement today saying: "and I was like, dude, I'm a better actor than you are! I mean, I had to somehow get blood into myself and become erect when you had sex with that girl the other day, and you know how hard I have to pretend not to like Tom Cruise's sweet, tight ass?"

Publicity Reps for Jake wouldn't reply to phone calls.

it's jake wood

it's totally looking at me

::winks::

moving on up... moving on up, to the eaaast side... to that deeeluxe apartment in the skyyyyyy.... oh, coming on out... cummin on out, in the best way... best way, that's right, everyone... I'M GAAAAYYYYYYYY.....

[paid for by Jake Gyllenhaal for Penis Enlarger Pumps, yes, this sorta thing IS MY BAG BABY.]

All that money and he can't go to Walmart and buy some underwear?

@83 You are correct! There is no way to know how large a man's penis is when flaccid.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

Men with huge penises don't tend to get much bigger when they're hard and don't express as much turgidity due to surface-area dispersion of vessels. Men with average penises tend to grow expeditionally and be much firmer. It's just the science of closer blood vessels, folks.

So the 9" 'well-hung' dude will get to maybe 9.25" when hard, and he'll be semi-soft; Meanwhile the 6" 'average' skinny dude you left behind hardens to almost 9" of solid steel. You lose!!!

I'd rather have 9" of gruyere than 9.25" of goat cheese.

Disclaimer: Yeah, some guys just have pathetically scary micropenises, and no amt of "growth" helps. Sorry, microdick men (ie, Jude Law)!! Sucks to be you!!

Wahahaha! Yes, finally something for the ladies. *stares in perverted fascination*

Is it winter already in New York?

Size really does matter.

I definitely got a little vaginal tingle looking at that second picture. Sorry, he could easily be a grower, and that's fine with me.

#83, couldn't have said it better myself. :)

I wouldn't say that qualifies as a "bulge" maybe a 'nub' or a large zit.....

I wouldn't say that qualifies as a "bulge" maybe a 'nub' or a large zit.....

I wouldn't say that qualifies as a "bulge" maybe a 'nub' or a large zit.....

I wouldn't say that qualifies as a "bulge" maybe a 'nub' or a large zit.....

I wouldn't say that qualifies as a "bulge" maybe a 'nub' or a large zit.....

I wouldn't say that qualifies as a "bulge" maybe a 'nub' or a large zit.....

I wouldn't say that qualifies as a "bulge" maybe a 'nub' or a large zit.....

I wouldn't say that qualifies as a "bulge" maybe a 'nub' or a large zit.....

I wouldn't say that qualifies as a "bulge" maybe a 'nub' or a large zit.....

I wouldn't say that qualifies as a "bulge" maybe a 'nub' or a large zit.....

I wouldn't say that qualifies as a "bulge" maybe a 'nub' or a large zit.....

All penises are beautiful as long as they are clean. A well-weighted sack is a beauty to behold as well. Maybe if a celeb started a kilt trend we could get some skin shots.

i know what happened.

lance armstrong had a little slumber party with jakey and matthew. clearly matthew brought extra clothes for the slumber party, and jake...well, he left his...along with other provisions (that's why he's taking the taxi) so he left his underwear at lance's...(oh you know why) anddd here we are.

Post a comment

Comments will be moderated and obnoxious or promotional comments may be removed.