Oct 31 2006Ivanka Trump and Topher Grace get it on
Ivanka Trump has squashed rumors she's with Lance Armstrong with even stranger rumors that she's with Topher Grace. She celebrated her 25th birthday in Las Vegas over the weekend and reportedly spent Saturday night with Topher.
They canoodled on the balcony during dinner at Social House with a group including Grace's former co-star Wilmer Valderrama. Then, at nightclub Pure, they closed the curtains around their private table for a half-hour. The couple "never left each other's sides," said our source.
And here's Ivanka at her birthday party at Pure looking a bit more like Paris Hilton than anybody should ever look. There's been rumors going around that she got breast implants and while I can't confirm them, I can confirm that her bumblebee suit makes her look like she belongs in a Martin Scorsese movie doing a line of coke and telling Robert DeNiro she'd like to go out for a night on the town.
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Reader Comments
1. Pagan Queen - October 31, 2006 10:23 AM
First, oh please oh please oh please!
2. Pagan Queen - October 31, 2006 10:24 AM
wooooooohooooooooo Happy New Year to me!!
OMFG What a horrid Halloween costume!
3. nicholelibra - October 31, 2006 10:27 AM
I agree, really bad costume. It seems like the richer they get the worse the taste. I could make a better costume with a roll of toilet tissue and paperclips.
Topher Grace is hot in an average person sort of way. The eyes have it. Way better (and straiter) than Lance.
4. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 10:27 AM
Nice hair helmut. How old is she again? 68? 70?
5. HolisticWisdomcom - October 31, 2006 10:29 AM
Oh, how cute she dressed up as a The Cat in the Hat's date. Hawt! LOL
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
6. Italian Stallion - October 31, 2006 10:29 AM
I love cake.........
7. seyoboy - October 31, 2006 10:29 AM
She is real hottie,i wish i was donald
http://celebcorner.blogspot.com/
8. ponk - October 31, 2006 10:31 AM
somebody is waiting for the mothership to return. There's a line of homeless people outside her house just waiting to turn that dress in at the recycling center for scrap aluminum.
9. BigJim - October 31, 2006 10:31 AM
Rumors aren't the only thing she squashed. This bitch probably has about 50 pounds on poor Topher. That bastard can't let anyone heavier that Nichole Ritchie climb on top of him.
10. Pagan Queen - October 31, 2006 10:32 AM
I think she won the Duck Tape award for creating fashions with it and she went the extra mile in creating fake hair. Bravo. With all that money DOES come exceptional skilz!
11. commissioner - October 31, 2006 10:35 AM
Man, if she had her makeup professionally done and that's the best they could do, I bet she's super scary without it. I thought she was hot?
12. Brain Embolism - October 31, 2006 10:35 AM
All right Forman!
13. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 10:36 AM
Her father has the hots for her. Ew. Donald has a new slogan, "Ivanka Fuck My Own Daughter!"
14. Brain Embolism - October 31, 2006 10:37 AM
Who is she, The Queen of De-Nile?
15. Anastasia_Beaverhausen - October 31, 2006 10:39 AM
Why do all these bitches in Hollywood have the wonk eye????
16. biatcho - October 31, 2006 10:41 AM
Why do her facial expressions make one think she has a turd the size of a baby's arm lodged inside her asshole? Get some exlax, grab a hold of the handicapped bars & unleash hell on a toilet. And maybe don't have so much plastic surgery at such a young age, your mother waited until she was at least 30 to do that shit.
17. PapaHotNuts - October 31, 2006 10:41 AM
Her nose is bigger than Feed_Me_Chocolate's.
18. Shaun - October 31, 2006 10:42 AM
She missed the Austin Powers auditions by several years. She kind of looks like a stupid Paris Hilton if that is possible. She has the beak of Mr. Trump though. ;-)
http://www.digital-six.net
19. Jacquelantern - October 31, 2006 10:47 AM
I think she got the fabric for her costume from her dad's guilded(gold) out penthouse drapery... you know the whole sound of music thing...
20. biatcho - October 31, 2006 10:48 AM
She resembles an older, fatter & dumber Lisa Kudrow, you know, from TV's "Friends".
21. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 10:50 AM
20--BINGO!
22. Pagan Queen - October 31, 2006 10:50 AM
Looks like she is singing "Smelly Cat"
23. BigJim - October 31, 2006 10:54 AM
Not really the right thread, but it looks like we've got this whole blonkey this ass backwards: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=blonkey
24. tweetyeyes - October 31, 2006 10:54 AM
And I care how? She looks more like a man than her father!
25. biatcho - October 31, 2006 10:56 AM
#19, thanks for clarifying for all of us retards what guilded means. I thought it meant just years of irish Catholic guilt all lumped together but it apparently means GOLD. Like a pot of irish gold... I see what's happening here. You teach 5th grade social studies don't you?
26. pinky_nip - October 31, 2006 10:57 AM
All that money and she looks likes a chick from Jersey.
27. PapaHotNuts - October 31, 2006 10:59 AM
I'd like the opportunity to kick her in the pussy.
28. laikiska - October 31, 2006 11:04 AM
has anyone ever told her that horizontal stripes aren't flattering???
29. pinky_nip - October 31, 2006 11:04 AM
I'd like to give her the ole' pancreatic punch.
30. biatcho - October 31, 2006 11:05 AM
#26, chances are she was conceived in Atlantic City, if the foo shits wear it.
31. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 11:08 AM
She wishes she looks like a chick from Jersey.
32. DJSS00 - October 31, 2006 11:09 AM
I'm not sure why everyones ragging on Ivanka, I'm sure her bits probably taste rather nice....although that pic of Lindsay underneath...thats probably what tastes like squash..
33. krisdylee - October 31, 2006 11:12 AM
I'd like the opportunity to karate chop her in the urethra.
34. serial snarkalec - October 31, 2006 11:16 AM
May the ghosts of the muskrats that died for that ugly carcass of a coat gnaw through her false eyelashes down through her double chin.
35. Jacquelantern - October 31, 2006 11:19 AM
#25 No... I'm an interior designer... I was just trying to be helpful, that's all...
"I thought it meant just years of irish Catholic guilt all lumped together but it apparently means GOLD." lol... that's funny
But seriously... you don't have to be such a bitch about it...
36. Kiki - October 31, 2006 11:21 AM
Why do people with money buy ugly things?? It's like a war over who can have the stupidiest, ugliest things!?!?!
I can't wait until they're poor.
37. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 11:24 AM
35--She does have to be a bitch about it....her name is Biatcho. She can't very well not be a bitch, because then her name would be Rebecca of Sunnybrook Fucking Farms.
38. biatcho - October 31, 2006 11:25 AM
That's the way I roll. Get to know me.
And the social studies thing was a rhetorical question...
39. leewhee - October 31, 2006 11:28 AM
She's pretty in an ugly sort of way. Great rack though even if it's man-made. Wonder if they're titanium?
40. Jacquelantern - October 31, 2006 11:33 AM
37 & 38 hahaha... just joking around... wanted to see if I could get a huge fight started... j/k kinda...(I'm bored)
This is bringing back memories of that Greek Chick that was a huge bitch... She was going to the "Salon" in her limo or some crap like that... u remember right?
jrzmommy... u r an inspiration to the fish... *tear*
41. eatyourfeedback - October 31, 2006 11:34 AM
She's still better looking than Ho-Bag Hilton, even though her outfit is horrendous.
42. Brain Embolism - October 31, 2006 11:36 AM
I want to knee her in the spleen!
43. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 11:38 AM
I'm currently chewing a piece of Original Flavored Dubble Bubble -- not the kind that tastes like dumb old Bazooka Bubble Gum, but the kind that has a little spice, almost like a Canada Mint flavor to it. Haven't had it in YEARS because the punks at DB changed their formula. I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY!!! SOMEONE GIVE ME A GODDAMMED COUCH TO JUMP UP AND DOWN ON!
I think I've had too much sugar.
44. RichPort - October 31, 2006 11:40 AM
#23 - Yea, I caught after I thought I was being overly creative. I like my definition better.
45. ApacheRose - October 31, 2006 11:41 AM
Goddamn, looks like she was getting busy in the limo on the way to the party or something. That dress is looking a little used and abused. (So's her face, but getting a new outfit is faster and cheaper than the massive facial reconstruction she needs.) Jeez, how old is this chick?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you...
Yep, looks like Phoebe.
46. Brain Embolism - October 31, 2006 11:41 AM
@43 - There's a "GODDAMMED COUCH" in your padded cell!
47. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 11:43 AM
Brain---I'm bouncing with no padding today my friend! You sound cranky.....you need to eat some Dots...Dots taste like happy.
48. PapaHotNuts - October 31, 2006 11:46 AM
I'm going to steal Heather McCartney-Mill's fake leg and dress up as a Fake Leg Saleman for Halloween tonight.
49. IFuckingHateYou - October 31, 2006 11:48 AM
She's an ugly fucking bitch.
I'd have to agree with some of the statements above that she looks like Phoebe, so I'm guessing that within the next couple of months there's going to be a sex tape leaked of The Donald fucking Lisa Kudrow and screaming "Who's your Daddy Ivanka!"
50. Jade - The Gossip Girls - October 31, 2006 11:50 AM
Hmm, she sure doesn't photograph well - does she. She's actually a pretty girl though, I saw her once. At first glance though when I saw the picture I mistook her for Paris when I was scrolling down the page, but once I stopped and looked closer she doesn't really at all.
Topher Grace is hot though :)
Kayla
http://www.celebrity-gossip.net
51. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh - October 31, 2006 11:52 AM
She makes Sarah Jessica Parker look like a Gentile.
Speaking of ugly women, I was thinking of dressing up my dog as Katherine Harris for Halloween. Spoooooooooky.
52. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 11:57 AM
I don't understand why some people when they get in the vicinity of a casino feel compelled to dress like this.
53. CelebSlam.com - October 31, 2006 11:58 AM
Who the hell is Topher Grace?
http://www.celebslam.com
54. Italian Stallion - October 31, 2006 12:05 PM
It's a shame no one can dress up like Michael Jackson anymore. Not a good idea to look like him and be around a bunch of children you don't know, fool might get shot or something......
I'm going as Michael J Fox. All I'm going to do is drink a gallon of coffee before I go out. But I'm gonna be tired in the morning, all that shaking and walking around has got to put a nigga out......
55. oh!assley! - October 31, 2006 12:06 PM
She's Ginger from Casino (as alluded to by
thesuperficial.com)! Which if you are intelligent enough to know (which most of you apparently are not), you could honestly say she wore the costume well.
56. Reid - October 31, 2006 12:06 PM
Yeah, she appears to be dressing as a big shiny Justice League villain for Halloween.
Oh, please let it be for Halloween.
http://www.reidaboutit.com
57. commissioner - October 31, 2006 12:11 PM
#55
Let me be the first to say, on behalf of almost everyone here, "Wow, you're a real Dick Tracy, huh?".
Now, bite me real hard, Ivanka.
58. biatcho - October 31, 2006 12:13 PM
#55 We're not intelligent enough to watch a movie enough times to actually remember the outfits that people wear in them. Yes, we're dumb and you are smart. And a cunting whore.
I make no apologies for my behavior as I am coming down from a severe sugar rush. And I hate sluts.
59. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 12:14 PM
55--Your writing skills suck. What did you say...if we are intelligent enough to know you could honesl...what? I hope you get a razorblade in your candy apple tonight.
Which reminds me of a terrific thing to do.....go to a grocery store at about 6:00 tonight and get in the longest line with nothing but a bag of apples and a pack of razors and keep looking at your watch and acting INCREDIBLY inpatient and say, Hurry up hurryuphurryuphurryup....gonnamissthemgonnamissthemgonnaMISS THEM. Watch the reaction to the people around you.
60. IFuckingHateYou - October 31, 2006 12:15 PM
#55 - smart enough to know, didn't really think it would be that much of a brain-teaser that your stupid ass would have to Google it & clarify it you stupid fucking cunt.
Happy Halloween.
61. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 12:18 PM
Who am I? You dumb fucks....She's Ginger from Gilligan's Island and you're not intelligent to know (although this is a random parenthesis) which means I'm not sure what I'm typing.
If you said #55--you win a bag of Hershey's Miniatures!!
62. commissioner - October 31, 2006 12:19 PM
jrz- last year the husband gave three little girls an opened bag of unpopped popcorn, a protein bar and tried to stick a can of tomato paste in the third's bag. The little girl looked at him and said, "you suck. you are the worst neighbor in the whole world" and stomped off. He was offended, then dumbfounded when I told him the bowl of candy was on the entry way table, no need to raid the kitchen. And you had to ask how the mailbox got knocked over?
63. Brain Embolism - October 31, 2006 12:19 PM
@50 Jade & Kayla - Since you're sharing one brain, I'll include both of you in this comment.
You're too nice.
This is not the site for you. These people are mean, I'm talking Pit-Bull mean. They'll tear you apart just for leaving out a period at the end of a sentence.
If you're trying to drum up business for your site, I applaud you... just don't do it here.
Take heed to this advice.
64. RichPort - October 31, 2006 12:22 PM
She looks like she's wearing one of those collapsable cups I used to take camping. She is one ugly bitch. I mean UUUUUUUUGGGLLLEEEEEEEE. She looks like lady who comes in at nigt and changes all the liners in the trash cans... only not as classy.
65. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 12:24 PM
Commish: Is your husband from East Jabip? Hee hee....but I like his style of fucking with the kids. We had these douchebags that had this incredible amazing house and they passed out ONE -- and they emphasized ONE - Mallocup to each kid. We egged the fucking bejesus out of that house.
66. RichPort - October 31, 2006 12:26 PM
#62 - LOL!!! You could well be my wife, though I don't remembering killing anything postal... at least not lately.
67. PapaHotNuts - October 31, 2006 12:28 PM
@ 50 Jade and Kayla
Take Brain Embolism's advice. People on here are very mean. I'm not one of them though. I just think you are probably a couple of whores trying to drum up visitors to your horrific website, in hopes you get enough traffic so some desperate company will pay to advertise on that piece of shit you call a blog. Guess what? Ain't gonna happen. I hate both of you for no reason, just because it's Tuesday.
Unless you are both hot. If that's the case then I love your blog. And your vaginas.
68. LilRach - October 31, 2006 12:34 PM
This chick is full of shit. I read in an article not even a week ago where she said she would never be seen dead wearing outfits to the like of Paris Hilton and that what she wore defined the person she was, blah blah blah. Liar!
That dress makes her look fat.
69. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 12:36 PM
Jade and Kayla--and Papa is the friendliest one of the whole goddammed, fucked-up, psychotic Mongolian cluster fuck we like to call the Superficial Comments Section. Especially to the ladies.
Someone refer Jade and Kayla to SJTLQ.
70. PrettyBaby - October 31, 2006 12:42 PM
#63 Hey, nothing wrong with some niceness!! Let it flowww- -
You'd think it was nice if them gossip gals rubbed your "brain" for inspiration. Hmmmmm?
71. PrettyBaby - October 31, 2006 12:46 PM
jrzmommy- Have you ever had a Take 5 candy bar? Let me put it to you this way- Um, it's fucking phenomenal.
72. PrettyBaby - October 31, 2006 12:48 PM
But #50 Topher Grace is not hot. You gotta watch that. That is too bubblegum even for me :(
73. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 12:51 PM
Mother of the Year strikes again...
http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2006-10-31-anna-nicole-smith_x.htm?csp=27
Take 5 candybars rock. I haven't had one in a long time.
74. LilRach - October 31, 2006 12:56 PM
I had no idea who Topher Grace was (it sounded like a woman's name) so i googled it and fuck me it's Eric from that 70's show! he sure grew up. I used to always tell my bf that he was cute in a nerdy sort of way and he used to laugh at me!
75. Brain Embolism - October 31, 2006 12:56 PM
#67- Papa, I don't think they're hot, I think they're young... too young!
@69- jrzmommy, your wish is my command;
@ - Isabella, Kayla, Jade and Nadia - "The Gossip Girls" - May I divert you attention to a time not so long ago. To a thread where a sweet, innocent young lady, not unlike yourselves, got the ASS-REAMING of her life.
Click this link:
http://thesuperficial.com/2006/09/matthew_mcconaughey_and_penelo_1.html
Start with post #15 and read all about the Sarah-Jean saga.
Hopefully it will help you see the light.
76. oh!assley! - October 31, 2006 12:57 PM
I am sorry that my writing skills aren't limited to the overuse of exclamation points and contrived vulgar language. I hope you all have a happy halloween.
77. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 12:59 PM
76--THANKS!!!! Thanks a fucking lot! Happy Hallowfuckingween to you too!!!!!!!!
78. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 1:00 PM
PS--watch them candy apples now, darling douchebag!!!!!!!!!!!
79. commissioner - October 31, 2006 1:00 PM
Rich - Got off phone with husband. Still apologizing for killing mailbox. You know, that "going postal" phrase was coined right here, where I live.
He'll have the nerve to ask me to suck his dick tonight, hide and watch. Then I'll go postal and hit him in the head with a brick.
80. commissioner - October 31, 2006 1:04 PM
#76
Hey, missy smartypants! My language is not contrived. I always use vulgar language. When you grow up and deal with moronic fuckups day in and day out, you too, will use vulgar language in every sentence.
I'm a role model. A motherfucking super role model.
81. RichPort - October 31, 2006 1:06 PM
Commish - I'll take a budgeoned head if I get a blow job first. Fair trade if you ask me. Fuck personal safety.
Oh yeah, nice people don't belong here. Get mean or get out.
82. biatcho - October 31, 2006 1:06 PM
#76 cock shit fuck balls hairy pussy vagina
clitlicker monkeyrapist donutbumping- dykewhore fart limbaugh
!
83. commissioner - October 31, 2006 1:06 PM
Oh, check this shit out.
Smartass ten year-old son just called and said, "You've got no mail!"
84. Angry Ferret Jones - October 31, 2006 1:06 PM
#55 - You are an ignorant whore who needs to go drink a nice cool glass of bleach and chill the fuck out.
This board is a massive collection of intellectuals and parolee's, and each of us wouldn't even bother to wipe our sweaty taints with the likes of you. We come here to vent and rant and rage. We don't come here to be judged by some second rate street-walking slut who hides behind the web.
The use of contrived vulgarity and excessive punctuation is simply because current day society still frowns upon people like us killing people like you.
So, rather than explode, we throw out a couple of fuck's, a few shit's and the occasional cunt.
So take your 'holier-than-thou" attitude back to whatever private school you came from, and feel free to cram it up your Martha Stewart-watching ass.
Now go away. The big kids are playing here.
85. chelleann66 - October 31, 2006 1:06 PM
Hey Jacquelantern,
Re: #35. If you are an interior designer, you would know that GILDED, not guilded means covered or highlighted with gold.
Some interior designer.
86. Angry Ferret Jones - October 31, 2006 1:09 PM
PS - I have a new URL because I missed Wally. So please stop by.
PPS - Oh!Assly!, please stop by and I will taunt you a second time.
PPPS - I would fuck the contrived shit out of Donald's little girl.
Fuck, fuckity fuck fuck.
87. PrettyBaby - October 31, 2006 1:11 PM
You too Sweetie and try to get laid tonight! It is the perfect way to celebrate any holiday and sooo good for you. And plus possibly good for working off any candy that was gluttonously consumed.
88. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 1:11 PM
oh!assley! -- did you HAVE to get Ferret pissed?
89. James - October 31, 2006 1:13 PM
Just another dumb rich bitch that in the real world without her wealth would be shit out of luck survival wise.
90. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 1:14 PM
speaking of dumb uses of exclamation points, oh!assley! --- explain your name to us. In 20 words or less with 76% of those words being vulgar.
91. PrettyBaby - October 31, 2006 1:15 PM
#90 Oh the aching sides...
92. Pagan Queen - October 31, 2006 1:25 PM
Brain - thank you so much for that link. It was so beautiful! I cant believe I missed such a group grope.
I think I dribbled in my Tony Lamas!!!
93. Pagan Queen - October 31, 2006 1:28 PM
Ferret, you elderberry scented rodent, love your new home one web.
94. Pagan Queen - October 31, 2006 1:30 PM
"on the web" holy cow, now I am typing like "The Gossip Girls".
Shoot me now!
95. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 1:36 PM
No Pagan. We will not shoot you on what is the eve of your new year. We will just kindly ask you to eat a few Sour Patch kids and learn from your typo.
96. Pagan Queen - October 31, 2006 1:39 PM
jrz- you are the Queen of Tough Love. I HATE those things. bleh
97. Brain Embolism - October 31, 2006 1:40 PM
#92 - Let's hope the "Gossip Sluts" see it?
98. Pagan Queen - October 31, 2006 1:42 PM
Brain - they will see it, but will they understand the peril? the horror?
Oh I so hope they start - that was some awesome threading!
They will learn, they will learn **cackle cackle cackle**
99. PrettyBaby - October 31, 2006 1:45 PM
Can someone please give me a link to this Sarah Jean's website?? I tried once before to check her out but was unable.
One Free Sexual Favor to Whomever Provides the Desired Link
100. Pagan Queen - October 31, 2006 1:46 PM
ALL - I wish you a Blessed Samhain. It is time for me to head home, get into costume and freak out the Fundies!
If anyone is interested in what this Holiday REALLY is - free your mind, feed it with the food of knowledge by going here
http://www.witchvox.com/va/dt_va.html?a=usma&c=holidays&id=2204
Oh yes, my friends, it is The Witches' Voice.
101. jrzmommy - October 31, 2006 1:46 PM
Trick or Treat time! Happy Halloween everyfuckingbody!!!!!!!!
102. Pagan Queen - October 31, 2006 1:47 PM
PrettyBaby - I dont swing that way, but I will glady give the sexual favor token to the highest bidder - Tranny, BigJim, Pony, Papa, Stallion, Brain, Ferret - any takers :)
Her website still goes to that Cyberstalking place. Think she is still pouting.
If you cant run with the big dogs...stay on the porch! Dang poodle!
103. Zanna - October 31, 2006 1:51 PM
Ferrit...how come you never brought it to my 'tention that I dind't have your link on the Grannys? Ima do it now.
Gumby Brainboots: Once the "Gossip Girls" see that thread they are going to be brushing the FUCK out of their my little ponies while rocking back and forth like rainman.
104. PrettyBaby - October 31, 2006 1:51 PM
Well, Pagan Lady, you sound like your an alright chic and if it will make you happy on your holiday, I did watch the Discovery Channel's Story of Halloween a few nights ago and it was very cool.
Have Fun Tonight!
But I am still sad to have missed Sarah Jean's site. I WANTED to see that damn favorites list.
105. Angry Ferret Jones - October 31, 2006 1:52 PM
PrettyBaby - There is some archival footage here:
http://ednas-gonna-smote-you.blogspot.com/
106. Angry Ferret Jones - October 31, 2006 1:53 PM
Hey Topher - Good for you, man. Really smoke that ass.
I don't know how the boys from That 70's Show do it, but they get more ass than a toilet seat.
107. Jacquelantern - October 31, 2006 1:54 PM
#85 I know what gilded means... and yes I may have spelled it incorrectly but you still know what the fuck I'm talking about. And yes... it does include overlaying or highlighting with gold... what did you learn that from hgtv or something?
108. pinky_nip - October 31, 2006 1:56 PM
@107: I learned all about gilded when I bought my last dildo. I only deserve the best.
109. Angry Ferret Jones - October 31, 2006 1:57 PM
DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!
OK, it is Haloween, so lets dig up some old graves.
You want some Lilac Queen footage, you evil bastards? Here it comes!
http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:NXB77WY6y3sJ:sarahjean.com/+sarah+jean+ballard&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=4
110. PrettyBaby - October 31, 2006 1:58 PM
oh my Lord.....
WTF?! Those pics of her are hilarious!! The poses..... The ugly red hair.....The goofy/molester looking boyfriend......And her description of how they met?????????????
I am speechless.
Oh and yeah Ferret, get ready....
111. BigJim - October 31, 2006 2:00 PM
Ferret:
Hate to be picky, but "smote" is past tense. i.e. "Edna smote her crusty vagina with a cucumber, and it was good."
Present and future tense would be to "smite": "Edna decided to smite her crab-infested crevice with a cucumber."
Oh, and I bid one adopted, religiously brainwashed, wigaboo baby for a chance to ravage PrettyBaby.
112. Angry Ferret Jones - October 31, 2006 2:02 PM
Dance, baby, DANCE!!
http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:bCdiPKPavNgJ:www.sarahjean.marysremnant.org/HFDT/instructor.html+sarah-jean+vitelli&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=3
113. Angry Ferret Jones - October 31, 2006 2:03 PM
Someone take one for the team and buy these books. BigJim, you are are a rich, well hung guy. Pony up $3 !
http://www.lulu.com/SarahJean
114. mrs.t - October 31, 2006 2:04 PM
My husband likes me to "Gild the Lily" after swallowing.
What's all this nonsense about 'gold leaf overlay'?
115. Angry Ferret Jones - October 31, 2006 2:05 PM
My favorite page ever: Daein's Mom's page
http://www.marysremnant.org/News/Archives/Journal/Journal09.html
116. mrs.t - October 31, 2006 2:07 PM
And Ferret, SarahJean just gets better and better. Almost too good. Almost like someone is fucking with us.
Next you'll supply us a link to her "Dress Ups for Big Girls!" page.
117. Angry Ferret Jones - October 31, 2006 2:07 PM
Daein tries out his "Porn Star" mustache. Very 1976!
http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:ZDDResOlnw4J:moof.blogsplot.net/%3Fcat%3D6%26paged%3D1+sarah-jean+vitelli&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=29
118. PrettyBaby - October 31, 2006 2:08 PM
My dance school?? Not currently giving lessons.... Blogaholic.....?!
NO WONDER you all had to fucking jump her. PrettyBaby's Soapbox of the Day- If you write that sort of SHIT and put your web address on here for people to see AND you act like a wimp you will be bulldozed over. I may be new, a little stupid and possibly a little bored, but even I can see that.
Big Jim- (I like that name!) Just for you I will be like Sarah Jean and get a pic of my Naughty cat Halloween costume posted.
119. Angry Ferret Jones - October 31, 2006 2:08 PM
YOU: "Goddamn it Ferret, you aren't so angry that you would post her fucking e-bay ID, ARE YOU???"
ME: "I didn't get enough hugs from my dad."
http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback&userid=littlevitelli&iid=8012661141&frm=284
120. Skip Smith - October 31, 2006 2:12 PM
>>"Which reminds me of a terrific thing to do.....go to a grocery store at about 6:00 tonight and get in the longest line with nothing but a bag of apples and a pack of razors and keep looking at your watch and acting INCREDIBLY inpatient and say, Hurry up hurryuphurryuphurryup....gonnamissthemgonnamissthemgonnaMISS THEM. Watch the reaction to the people around you."
That's a good idea! I was thinking of something along the same lines --- try to hand an apple with obvious gashes and slits in it to a kid in front of his/her parents to see the reaction.
121. PrettyBaby - October 31, 2006 2:13 PM
Medical Musings, Common Sense??? I am just shocked. And disturbed and super amused.
122. BigJim - October 31, 2006 2:14 PM
Sorry, Ferret, but I've got a few good reasons why I can't buy that book:
-the money goes to SJ
-I'm fully stocked on toilet paper
-my wife looks after the Visa bill, and I'd have a hard time explaining why I spent $3 on a Christian love story written by some crazed, carpet munching cumbucket.
123. Angry Ferret Jones - October 31, 2006 2:15 PM
Whew.... OK, I need to take a minute and wipe down my screen.
124. PrettyBaby - October 31, 2006 2:16 PM
Hey mrs.t or anyone who knows...What is the lily reference?
125. BigJim - October 31, 2006 2:18 PM
Jesus suffering fuck. Sara J is even more arrogant than me:
"In 2000, a desire to use her God-given talent of dance to share
her faith in Jesus Christ led Ms. Vitelli to found her own dance
school,"
126. Angry Ferret Jones - October 31, 2006 2:19 PM
I remember as a young lad when my desire to use my God-given talent of dance to share
my faith in Jesus Christ led me to getting a hand-job in the rectory.
127. mrs.t - October 31, 2006 2:20 PM
Happy Haunting everyone! Time to get my kids into costumes, and myself. I'm going as Little Bit Drunk Mom, which naturally means Naughty Nurse meets Sexy Kitty/Prostitute/French Maid.
128. PrettyBaby - October 31, 2006 2:21 PM
#115 The mom sounds a little too excited about the "love" between Sarah and whoever that joker is. She sounds WET over it.
129. mrs.t - October 31, 2006 2:22 PM
The priests at school use to use their God-given talent trying to slip a thumb up the old pooper whilst 'massaging that sore hamstring for ya' (soccer-coach priests).
130. mrs.t - October 31, 2006 2:26 PM
PrettyBaby, in the scenario I'm describing, the 'Lily' is a penis that has been very recently relieved of it's prior tension. To 'gild' one gently squeezes the balls while removing the last few drops orally.
But that could just be some shit we made up. We've been together forEVER.
131. PrettyBaby - October 31, 2006 2:28 PM
Bye and Happy Halloween! Gotta go take my Boys out for treats (my KIDS mind you) but first, possbily a cocktail or two...
132. PrettyBaby - October 31, 2006 2:29 PM
#130 WOW- I like it!! mr.t must be a happy man...........
133. ApacheRose - October 31, 2006 2:31 PM
Ferret needs to get laid, and NOT by a redhead. Maybe a blonde would do...
134. Brain Embolism - October 31, 2006 2:31 PM
Ferret my man, you have done your homework. I AM impressed!
Sarah-Jean the Lilac Queen has WAY to much time on her hands.
135. BigJim - October 31, 2006 2:43 PM
Ferret:
A hand up your rectory? Didn't that hurt?
136. DJSS00 - October 31, 2006 3:20 PM
She looks like she would give great head!!
137. xx.deathcab.xx - October 31, 2006 4:56 PM
Never date a woman who outweighs you by 30 fucking pounds, Topher.
138. Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV - October 31, 2006 5:25 PM
Topher is the man. He's about to blow up next summer anyway when Spiderman III comes out.
139. Regnig - October 31, 2006 5:54 PM
Anyone else think of the chicks from Austin Powers that have the guns for boobs??
140. Binky - October 31, 2006 6:29 PM
Well I'm thrilled she had her roots done. (But I'll get over it)
- 'Pure' at Caesar's Palace ? Don't remember that one. The last time I was at Caesar's - the only names that come to mind in that casino are 'Skank', 'Trailer', and 'stench' of over 30 years of Malboro smoke.
- I've heard she did well on the Apprentice. Not that I've ever seen the show - but I understand she won the 'my dad's the owner' competition and sent the blonde woman packing. (My sources tell me 'George' was actually getting all the action on the show and 'The Donald' will fire him as soon as he picks up Melana.)
141. Ambassador of Sexy - October 31, 2006 7:30 PM
#137
Yeah, she's - so - going to rape his asshole.
Tho, I'm sure he'd appreciate it. :-?
142. Ambassador of Sexy - October 31, 2006 7:46 PM
Oh, and she'd be a lot hotter if she didn't so closely resemble her old man.
:-/
143. piestuff - October 31, 2006 8:47 PM
Can someone tell me why people like getting "first posts"?
Only thing that comes into mind is that they are sad individuals with no lives? Grats Pagan Queen.
144. AmishDude - October 31, 2006 9:40 PM
#147 piecrust... You are #147 and you have the nerve to ask that ridiculous question?
Somebody needs a nap.
145. no.name - October 31, 2006 11:48 PM
The Superficial should be called "The Boring".
*yawn*
146. J&M - November 1, 2006 12:17 AM
#126: Ferret, someone "bashed your bishop" in the rectory?
I suppose that is better than some bishop bashing you in the rectum...
147. Terry - November 1, 2006 1:27 AM
Ivanka and Jennifer LOpez are wearing the same thing:
http://fadedyouth.blogspot.com/
scroll down a couple posts.
148. Ambassador of Sexy - November 1, 2006 2:51 AM
And I still have doubts about Topher as (Ultimate) Venom...
http://chasingculture.com/liberty
149. tweetyeyes - November 1, 2006 5:04 AM
You guys are all so funny! I will be laughing all day long now after reading the "Id like to kick her in the _____". I scroll down and see the #27 post and just started crying. There are so many funny comments on this one. Thank You all for such a wonderful laugh this morning. These comments are what this site is all about.
150. jrzmommy - November 1, 2006 5:31 AM
"My fashion blog is specifically geared towards housewives and stay-at-home mom's who care what they look like but don't want to spend a small fortune doing so. "
Yeah, thanks but no. I'd rather get Helen Keller's opinion on my outfit, SJTLQ.
151. jrzmommy - November 1, 2006 5:49 AM
40--Stacyy the Greek Whore was her name. Oh God, please don't conjure that bitch up.
152. RichPort - November 1, 2006 5:58 AM
Sarah Jean is to fashion what I am to hamster dicks.... polar opposite. That said, who's worse, the Lilac Loser or the commenters who gush praise on her site? They all need forceful hysterectomies with rusted butter knives as punishment. All the Sodium Pentothal in the world couldn't get me to think chicks in Talbot's and JC Penny are fuckable.
153. llllllllll - November 1, 2006 6:02 AM
If you ask me, she looks like she has an incredible shrinking head. Can I get an AMEN?
154. jrzmommy - November 1, 2006 6:29 AM
*voice from far away* amen!
155. RichPort - November 1, 2006 6:34 AM
This outfit reminds me of that chick who wore a gown made of American Express cards to some awards show. Sarah Jean would head-noddingly approve.
Take that right in the ass, fashion!
156. Italian Stallion - November 1, 2006 6:34 AM
Funny shit.........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvQScRuZj9s
157. jrzmommy - November 1, 2006 6:49 AM
Stallion: Letterman is always such an awesome straight guy. I don't know who does it better, Letterman or Charles Grodin.
158. Italian Stallion - November 1, 2006 6:56 AM
I bet Letterman likes to take "picture of girl on toilet" too......
159. jrzmommy - November 1, 2006 7:02 AM
back to the SJTLQ thing real quick......they got engaged on my fucking birthday. goddammit. god double dammit.
160. jrzmommy - November 1, 2006 7:16 AM
Stallion: what was the last thing he said, her vag did what?
161. Pwnstar - November 1, 2006 7:33 AM
I would snatch this vanilla ass up too.
162. Brain Embolism - November 1, 2006 7:39 AM
Dave is my TV friend
Stallion, where's Abby? She's MIA.
163. RichPort - November 1, 2006 7:46 AM
#156 - Fucking hilarious. I didn't think he could be funnier than Ali G, but he's on his way. Letterman looks nervous...
164. GirlyGirl - November 1, 2006 7:48 AM
You guys are so funny!
Ivanka, what the hell kind of a name is that??
Blah blah freaking blah. What's up with the Fish lately???
165. Italian Stallion - November 1, 2006 7:50 AM
@160 her vagena start to hang loose like sleeve of wizard......LOL
166. jrzmommy - November 1, 2006 8:03 AM
like sleeve of wizard. Where the fuck did he come up with that?
167. Italian Stallion - November 1, 2006 8:09 AM
Who cares? I got it, funny motherfucker he is......."Like sleeve of wizard" hehehehehee
168. GirlyGirl - November 1, 2006 8:09 AM
I got a blog. I hope it doesn't suck.
169. RichPort - November 1, 2006 8:16 AM
I sometimes wopder if Sasha Cohen even knows who the fuck he is anymore. He even has Kazhakstan taking out full page newspaper ads to protest the movie. Too fucking funny...
170. jrzmommy - November 1, 2006 8:18 AM
168--I don't think it sucks. Oh, and to add to what you're saying...STOP signs aren't fucking suggestions!
171. GirlyGirl - November 1, 2006 8:22 AM
Thanks, jrzmommy! Right on about the stop signs. WTF?
172. ponk - November 1, 2006 8:26 AM
kind of a newbie myself GirlyGirl, but here's my critique.
1) GirlyGirl is a name that could get you into trouble. I suggest you show some skin or talk dirty to compensate.
2) Introducing yourself with a little humility as you have done is a good start. As you might have noticed, people that jump in all full of themselves usually get ass-raped.
3) That was a decent blog, but just to show you what you're up against, you should read about the crazy drivers in Ferret's neighborhood.
4) God Damn BlogSource! All the cool people were on BlogSpot so I signed up there, but now that Ferret has moved to BlogSource you'll probably be in good company shortly.
5) Since I'm a relative newbie myself and not yet accepted as part of the in-crowd, disregard everything I said and carry on.
173. GirlyGirl - November 1, 2006 8:45 AM
Thanks, ponk!
I did read about the crazy driver in Ferret's neighborhood. I'm glad I don't live in Morning Wood.
174. jrzmommy - November 1, 2006 8:57 AM
The whole "Morning Wood" thing just clicked for me. I'm a fucking obtuse douche sometimes......
175. commissioner - November 1, 2006 9:20 AM
jrz- better to be a little dense than a lot stupid, like SJTLQ.
176. PrettyBaby - November 1, 2006 9:53 AM
Good Morning Freaks!!
I just can't get enough of Sarah Jean's website. I fear that I am hopelessly addicted. So please please like the addict that I have become, feed me more....
177. PrettyBaby - November 1, 2006 9:55 AM
Hey GirlyGirl, I really like your kitty Darlin...
178. jrzmommy - November 1, 2006 10:20 AM
Baby, in an effort to conserve IQ Points in my old age, and to avoid getting arrested and thrown in Mean Person Jail, I cannot go to SJTLQ site too much. But do share any tid bits you get with the rest of us.
179. pagebetty - November 1, 2006 1:47 PM
===
===the best place taht Ivanka TRUMP could think of to celebrate her B-day was Pure?
LOL!
=====I hope her dad made up for that sh*t.
180. Praz - November 1, 2006 1:59 PM
Whatever, I'd hit it.
181. tweetyeyes - November 2, 2006 11:08 AM
Im still laughing today at PapaHotNuts post #27.Thank you thank you!
182. jpjrocks - November 2, 2006 7:18 PM
Ugly...big tits though
183. tsarinaamanda - November 3, 2006 7:24 AM
OMG, about the whole SJTLQ thing, Ferret, you are fucking HYSTERICAL! That bitch needs to be put in her place, she is way too full of herself...Jesus dance studio?!?!!??! WTF is THAT all about? (Could be becaue I think Jesus and all that other religious shit is for lame losers who can't face reality) And i just LOVE how she (and her husband's UGLY mother) keep acting like they're gonna call the FBI, and like the FBI even gives a good goddamn about that...they put all that shit out there, it's now in the public domain, so they need to stop bitching about it and take their punishments like adults. Not EVERYONE is gonna kiss their asses in life! I probably wouldn't have been too concerned about any of it, besides the occaional visit to laugh at what a lame loser she is, but when she has to spread all that hypocritical Christian BS and try to tell other people what's wrong with them, I get a little pissed. Those FBI threats are SOOO goddamn LAME, how much do you wanna bet that when those retards call the FBI, they're like, "Oh God, not this shit AGAIN....don't these people have a LIFE?? This isnt what I went through FBI school to do!" And, yes, I did pot on her lame ass blog telling her exactly what I thought of her dumb ass, so I'm sure the FBI will be after ME next....ooh, I'm SO SCARED!!! Yeah fucking RIGHT, stupid bitch. Ferret, keep it coming, it's fucking HYSTERICAL! My hat is off to you, good sir, carry on :)
PS- sorry about any typos, my "S" key keeps on sticking and I don't feel like editing this.
184. HollywoodSnark - March 22, 2007 12:19 PM
gross....and she could never get lance armstrong anyways
185. Casinos Online - November 15, 2007 11:48 AM
she's not that bad...