Oct 13 2006Hilary Duff is being stalked

first

Stalking means that you're just not trying hard enough....

personally, i think the only way to get any hilary muff is to be stalkerazzi. hunt her down and drag her back to your cave. stupid joel madden's been wining and dining this prude for years and probably hasn't even gotten a chance to peek at the pussy. she wants some thug passion.

she looks the least like a horse in her entire family. scary.

So why isn't a good old fashioned lynching legal in cases like this? A good ass whipping--and I mean an ass whipping to the nth degree--will solve 99% of the problems in the world today...especially with stalkers.

Maybe he's just after her gold mesh index finger sleeve.

Captain Obvious says that she is very attractive.

#3, #5, You are REPORTED! I am reporting all disgusting posts. I have 63 names and counting.

I fucking wonder how this girl doesn't just hire some ex-Mossad thug and have the dude put down, Jolie style.

What's disgusting about beating someone that's threatening your life until they back off, Edna? Edna--i'm reporting YOU! You're a goner!

That sounds like a great idea for the new NBC fall line-up: "A Paparazzi and a Homeless Man."

They live together in Manhattan, one takes up-skirt photos of B-list has-been celebs, while the other pees in a jar down by the river. At night they join forces to fight crime, and the spread of Lupus.

Tom Hanks will play the Paparazzi, Tom Greene will be the Homeless man, and Tom Cruise will play the jar of pee.

Must-See Thursday's on NBC!

PS - Hillary, why the long face? hehe.

Holy shit, Edna's back!

Happy Friday the 13th everyone!

Celebrate this glorious day by putting on a goalie mask and burying an axe into the head of someone you hate.

Like Hillary Duff.

Or Paris Hilton.

Or Edna, the big fat fatty.

I'm telling Edna's Pastor I saw her here. You're gonna be excommunicated, Edna--you sinner. SINNER!!

All threats will be reported to Homeland Security. Let's keep it clean folks.

Oh yeah, like she's pretty than me. PLEASE!

Ms. Duff is hallucinating that she's being chased... by a sandwich.

Edna, please wait until you have 68 names before you report me, so I of course can be #69, in honor of that semen deluge I spewed upon you lovely librarian glasses. Good times man, good times.

The horse joke isn't funny, fuckers......

Although I do wonder if Baba Booey is her father........

#8 - Edna, are you off your meds again? You quirky little cunt, maybe you should go see your doctor and ask him to up your doseage.

Better yet, take your 63 names, print them on a piece of paper, roll it up as tight as you can, lick the end, and shove it right up your ass.

Add me to your list. And be to sure to go to the top of the list and in big bold letters write These Are Bad People That I Should Fear and then keep the list in a safe place. Maybe hide it in your withered-up worm-infested snatch, that way no one will ever find it.

I love you in that thing I saw you in.

AFJ

Edna, please report this Jessica bitch. Tell the FBI that she's about to go on a school shooting rampage.

Please inform the authorities that she is armed and dangerous and that a Rodney King style beating is in order. Tazers are good too.

If she were to be fatally shot during her arrest, we'd all be pretty much cool with that.

Stallion, you should date the Duff. With her face, and your giant horse-c*ck you two could sire quite the steed!

#18, REPORTED!

@12 - Triskaidekaphobia, fuck yeah!

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Triskaidekaphobia

Edna---somewhere there is a hallway that misses its monitor. Please hurry back to Suck D. Nuts High School.

Nice!!!

That's right baby, let the poison out....MMmmmmmmmmmm, Christian Angst...

I dine on your putrid ignorance, crazy bitch!!!!

Brain, how you living.

Edna suffers from Stickyourdickinherphobia.

I wonder how I would look with teeth like that...

http://wampoon.com

She looks interesting with the brown hair.

http://www.temptalia.com

Ferret, you are on fire today on this post.
Keep them yuck-yucks a-coming.

Hypenated for your pleasure!

Ferret, just when I thought I couldn't love you more.... you post #18

Stop!

I'm laughing so hard the tears are rolling down my face. And I have a facial and botox appointment in thirty fucking minutes. I can't see my doctor with puffy red eyes!

BigJim, Jessica just needs a hug. From a noose.

Edna, I was wondering if you could help me out. My neighbor's cat keeps shitting in my yard, but the cops in my town won't do anything about it, and the Feds won't answer my calls anymore. If I send you a picture of the cat, would you please report it to Homeland Security? I would very much appreciate your help in this matter.

Why do I think Edna is a lot like the Sleeping Cat Lady from My Name Is Earl last night?

Figures it would be a Russian - they are so fucking weird. 40 years of cold war, and when you finally meet one they act like semi-fag retards with 80's fashion sense. Red Dawn is never quite the same...

Edna, seriously though. I know you are a closet nympho. What is it going to take for you to unbutton the top of your corset and show us those love-pillows of yours?

I bet they are amazing.

Imagine that, 54 year-old breasts that have never been seen by another human being. They probably contain the sure for cancer, since you are such a pure and vestile old bat.

Come on baby, give the Ferret some love.

I'm pretty new to the Superficial, so forgive me - but is this Edna bird for real?

Isn't it a bit late to start reporting people, I thought the whole point was to be as offensive as possible - otherwise where would be the fun?

Joel Madden ? I always thought she was hooked up with John Madden.
But 'Max' should really wake up. Wake up. Especially on Saturday night. I mean really. Too much travel for trouble-free stalking.
She could be in New York. Maybe Hollywood and Vine. London, Paris or maybe Tokyo.
(my apologies for knowing a Hillary Duff song)

Headna, thanks for making Ferret 64 and for giving him a reason to give me a reason to scare my co-workers with manic laughter... only 5 more to go...

Christian bullies are funny

#36

It's alright if you're a closet Duff fan. I watched a Duff movie because the man I am stalking, Chris Noth, was in it. He will always be my Mr. Big. I just wish he'd bleach his teeth.

'Sup Commish.

I'm going to have my own fragrance, too. It'll smell like vodka, orange jujyfruits and the purple ink from ditto paper -- anyone else old enough to remember that smell? WEll, that's what I want MY fragrance to smell like. And I'll call it
Shrew! By Jrzmommy

yo, jrz.

Just paying the bills.

Edna, in an effort to help Rich reach the magical #69, i request that you report me as well...to either Homeland Security or Ass-Rapers Anonymous (your choice), you stupid fucking cunt.

Hillary really should have named her scent something more appropriate, like HUNGER or EMACIATED.

#40 - jrzmommy, I miss the smell of purple ink from ditto paper.
It smelled like........... victory!

Does Horseface have new teeth AGAIN???

Brain, it smelled like........TEST!

jrzmommy, I hope Shrew will be on the market in time for Christmas. I would love to get a bottle in my stocking.

The bottle will be in the shape of my hand passing out the Jersey Salute...and on my middle finger will be a huge honkin' diamond.

If she's a prude I'd be shocked. She'd be only one of few famous women with class if she were indeed a prude. Gotta be a prude in this sick cesspool world to be safe. Prude rules.

it's a good thing potato sacks are fashionable right now - helps hide anorexia/bulimia.

jrzmommy, remember in the movie "Fast Times At Ridgemont High" when Mr Hand passed out the test, all the students smelled the ditto-machined paper... AT THE SAME TIME.

Komedy Klassic

May, Check out fadedyouth @ http://fadedyouth.blogspot.com

A gossip blog. WAY more updated than superficial. Better pics too.

Who would stalk this horse faced chick?

Brain--51--YES!! Holy hell, I forgot about that! And you know that scene happened like a million times in schools all over the country EVERYDAY. That's what's wrong with kids today---they're not getting that little happy ditto buzz every day and they're wandering around all angry and shit.....shootin' the fuck out of everything that moves....BRING BACK THE DITTO!

This is the most disgusting message board I have seen in a long time. God will judge you and most of you will be sent to Hell when the Rapture comes. I hope the Lord shuts this disgusting website down.

edna-hows he going to do that this site is run by the devil.

I think Edna needs a Tom Cruise "Mission: Insertable" butt plug.

I just Raptured in my pants.

#55 - Please spit my babies out... I don't need you being crafty and creating a RichPort/ Bambrick love child...

And god has already judged me worthy of an enormous johnson... but you already know that you coquette.

For future reference 'fish, paparazzo is singular, paparazzi is plural. Sheesh.

You guys are fucking hilarious. I like the way the regulars attack anyone they don't like unmercifully; and your comments usually make me laugh so hard my co-workers probably think I'm nuts. Keep up the good (or maybe bad) work.

OH NO!! God is coming? Shit, and I have nothing to wear. How come he never calls ahead? That is just plain rude.

Edna, could I borrow your self-righteousness so I can make a jumpsuit out of it? It seems like it is big enough that I might be able to cover my giant cock with it.

I didn't know "the Lord" could shut websites down. Maybe he should use some of his "powers" to shut down a ped0 site, or two. Or maybe he could find the cure for cancer, or AIDS. Or (if he's not too busy shutting down the Fish) he could feed a couple of Billion starving kids.

Nah, instead of all that, he should succumb to the wishes of Edna the terminally un-fucked old bitty. You are one selfish bitch.

I think if hew was going to shut down large places where perverts and deviants collect he would probably start with your church, you hypocritical shrew (sorry JRZ).

This rant brought to you by *Shrew*, the exciting new fragrance that says "Hey, go fuck yourself."

#54 - jrzmommy, you may be on to something there. Maybe they put a chemical in the ditto fluid to keep us (kids) all "calm" and "peaceful" like.
As soon as they started with the Xerox machines, that's when the world went to hell...

...just a theory.

P.S. Because I was watching the METS kick St Louis' ass last night, I missed Earl, DAMMIT !!!

Who the hell would stalk Hilary Duff? She doesn't even have tits!

http://www.celebslam.com

Dammit, all this talk of enormous cocks is making me wet. Also provoking thoughts that would definitely get me reported by Edna-the-prude.

Edna, what number are ya on now? I think a few of us are willing to mud wrestle to get the coveted #69.

My wife loves the cock.

62--he never calls ahead----BHWAHAHAHAHA

Do I have to rename my perfume now? What should I call it now? Uberbitch?

Edna--God doesn't like a suck-up. you're REPORTED!

They should make the stalker watch "Material Girls" -- an insta-cure for any Hilary obsession.

#58 You mean you "Craptured in your pants". I heard that on 700 Club last night.

For real....

Non-Christians stay on earth after the Rapture, Edna. It's in the bible. ; )

But still, if you're reading this Mr. Fish, please don't ban Edna for her obnoxious comments. She may not know the good book very well, but she's so controversial. Encites lots of talk about the cock.

Excellent. Team Edna.

OK, Good news. I just talked to the Lord. He told me that Edna needs to get laid. Once that happens he promised that she would loosen up.

I said "Seriously?"

He said "No shit, that fucking nutcase is in desperate need of a good stiff one. Somebody needs to take her down the old dirt road, and smack little Johnny behind the ear. Get it?"

I said "You mean she needs to ride the bone-train to Tuna Town?"

He said "Word. Now if you will kindly fuck off, I have members of the flock to fleece."

Then he promised to NOT smote the Fish. Which is good, jsut if you piss him off he will smote the living shit out of you. He loves a good smote.

Edna - you might as well change your name to Sarah Jean, because I am going to make a fucking project out of you.

#71 - LOL!!! Thanks Ferret. The lady who sits next to me just called my laugh creepy.

Edna, please disregard every other fucking pledge for #69, you ass whore. I know you're that Christian girl from The Office. I would love to introduce you to the Dirty Holy RichPort... that's where I ass ream you while you recite Revelations, turn you around and give you a brown goatee, then shove my dirty socks in your mouth.

Special thanks to Ferret for inspiring my vulgarity.

I AM MONITORING THIS BOARD AND I WOULD ADVISE YOU PEOPLE TO KEEP IT CLEAN HERE. OTHERWISE, I WILL BE REPORTING YOU TO YOUR ISP'S AND POSSIBLY TO HOMELAND SECUIRTY IF IT APPEARS YOU ARE BEING THREATENING OR TRYING TO PROMOTE TERRORISM.

oh xrist, she's typing in CAPS now. It's getting serious.

Maybe the horse she stole her teeth from is this 'Max' she is refering too. Freak.

Hahahahahaaaaa!! Yeah, I'm so scared.

Edna, you crack me the fuck up, but would you stop screaming?

Any of you guys want to do us all a favor and shove your cock down her throat to shut her up? I bet if she gave it a try, she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. (As can I, but that's not the point)

Yeah, I know. I'm reported.

#67- DON'T change it! "Shrew" is perfect, timeless, even Shakespearian.

And... since when is telling someone what a fucktard she is promoting terrorism? That's The American Fucking Way, you fascist ass-hat.

"And yea, he came down from the mountain and said 'Make Edna your project.' "

And it was done...

http://ednas-gonna-smote-you.blogspot.com/

About that Jessica-Ellis chick, I think she and Sarah-Jean might actually get along pretty well, seeing as how Sarah-Jean the Lilac Queen looks like the undead:

http://thehousewife.blogsplot.net/?page_id=8

Why down her throat? She prefers to take it in the ass. I should know- I have to lie in bed next to that monstrosity every night. (shoot me.)

#73

Please tell me that you're joking. If you are not joking you are wackier than Mses. Hilton, Lohan and Madonna combined.

Face it...that is one big stack of wacky.

Holy Crap! Sarah Jean has let herself go.

WTF?

It must be all that trailer living....

#79 - Just proves the old addage "ya can't make a ho a housewife".

Oh yeah, and Edna? Get your hand out of your granny panties you fucking perv. The thought of you cumming a puff of dusty snatch powder is getting me as nauseous as Hillary "Me. Ed" Duff naked.

Fuck, my Guats mistyped Mr Ed... no chorizo for them tonight.

dis edna trick is one fat white bitch i wood not put my big dick in cuz she scary yo

From Sarah Jean's Blog:
"If you have kids, the last time you dressed in style was probably when you were in your 20’s right?"

Where to begin.......well, first, she just alienated nearly her entire demographic by calling them syle-less frumps with her crazy maverick marketing skills. Second, I have kids and I can guarantee you that even my immediate post-partum clothes were 20 brazilion times more stylish than anything she'll ever wear.

Who conjured up SJTLQ anyhow......now I'm in foul mood.

Oh lovely, the person with the Edna moniker is back. Now I get to read endless posts from people telling her to eff off until I stab myself in the eyeballs from boredom.

My dream day: Doing battle with Edna and Sarah-Jean, smoting them both, then wrapping the whole thing up with a nice little three-way. (Sorry Edna, from the rear only with you.)

Then they make me breakfast, and wash my car.

AFJ

Edna #55, your theology is jacked. No one goes to hell when the rapture comes. Oh yeah I forgot, the rapture isn't biblical. Why don't YOU clean it up and take your heretical theology to a more appropriate webpage. We are monitoring your communications as well Edna and reporting it to a much higher power than Homeland Security. Get thee behind me Satan.

I just read something that made me cry. There were four people found shot on a highway in Florida and two of them were little kids. The adult woman (also found dead) had her arms wrapped around the children. I can't fucking stand it anymore.

This can't be the real Edna-she was banned last year, wasn't she?

So, little Fake Edna, scurry along to some other site.

Wait, I thought Hilary was Supergirl and you don't wanna mess with her...

or was that Edna?

What's all this about terrorism? Who is Edna? Maybe she should leave this site, I think it's too much for her virgin eyes.

#90:

I rhink Edna did it.

Stupid fat fingers making me type an r instead of a t.

I must have been channeling Edna's fatness.

If, perchance, it is the real Edna, she needs to remember that her little notebook isn't really connected to anything. Tying a shoelace onto the binder with the other end stuck in a phone jack will only cause you to trip when you head to the kitchen for a fresh case of Hohos. All your hard work, and Billy Graham will never know who to thank.

Jrz - It's the psychos out there that make us take a slight pause before we act, and remind us that a little levity goes a long fucking way in this crazy fucked up world. Rereading the Edna posts may help.

Rich I think I need to read more SJTLQ blog to laugh

Visit The Ferret, er, I mean Edna Smote site... REPORTED!!!

Hilary is quietly becoming Kylie Minogue.
The resemblance is uncanny!

Sarah Jean has lost her damned mind.

Why can't crazy armed men shoot people like her?

I visited Edna's website. I'm trying to laugh, but my face is frozen.

I took a gander at ole SJTLQ's fashion tips. Doesn't help me a bit. If you don't shop at Old Navy or Banana Republic, you're screwed.

@ item 73 - Edna Bambrick - you are a moron. Sorry. By that I meant you are a stupid, self opinionated, self-important fuck. Which is a little lower on the sentient life-form index than the last steaming turd Saddam dropped as our boys were pulling him from his hiding hole.

Get a life - you piece of snot.

Ohhh ... and I really came here to comment that Hilary looks like she's gonna skip the thirties and move straight to 45.

Before I go Edna, did I mention I think you're a moron ?

It's the real Edna, all right. I'd recognize her fat ass typing anywhere.

She first graced us with her presence back in April (I think) and was on a holy crusade to send all us foul-mouthed sinners straight to H E double hockey sticks. Either that or Gitmo for endless rounds of torture.

It's been a long time, Edna. Did you miss us?

Anyway, I'm glad you're back. You're a helluva lot more fun to bug that some over-made vampire freak loser cumbucket named Jessica.

By the way, is there some scientific explanation as to why your face resembles a giraffe's infected anus?

Check out www.ednabambrick.com

So I got a preview screening of Borat, and this story is surprisingly familiar to the movie. Except Borat is from Kazakstan, and he falls in love with Pamela Anderson... but either way, it's comical.

#104 BigJim - I'm shocked and appalled that you can compare Edna Bambricks face to that of a giraffe's infected anus.
You sir, are giving giraffe's with infected anus' everywhere, a bad name.
Shame on you!

Go Team Giraffe Infected Anus

Fuck! Sarah-Jean is back, thinking she's all that. JRZ, so true. This little Vibe-warmer is 20 years old, doesn't work, lives in a fucking camper, and is mother to a canine, and she thinks she's some sort of housewife fashionista. She actually used the word, "Fashionista." She probably opened up other accounts so she could leave comments on her own blog.

FERRET, please, I'm begging you, the Sarah-Jean thing is not yet over. Maybe you could do a Sarah-Jean, Edna and whoever that little fat fake gothinista biatch thing of them together, dispensing fashion wisdom and dog stories?

Bitches like this help me understand why some men don't like women.

I think I found the other two members of Sarah-Jean's triplet.

http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e56/sohall/eviltriplets.jpg

Coincidence? I think not.

Edna, put a dick in it.

Damn it, she peaked already!?

Let the rain fall down

Wow, leave the girl alone, you fuckers. The horse jokes are getting a bit old, don't you think? She's beautiful. I bet you fuckers wish you'd look like that. Fucking fat asses talking shit. Go look at yourselves in the mirror, fucktards.

Wow, leave the girl alone, you fuckers. The horse jokes are getting a bit old, don't you think? She's beautiful. I bet you fuckers wish you'd look like that. Fucking fat asses talking shit. Go look at yourselves in the mirror, fucktards.

Excuse me for the double post. Actually, I don't give a fuck. :)

You know how many people with awkward facial features grow into them as they get older?

Well, I think the reverse is happening with her.

I'll agree she's always been shapped like a box, but she used to be some-what cute... now, she just looks like Julie Roberts on crack or something. Fix the teeth and eat a fucking burger.

I'll agree she's always been shapped like a box, but she used to be some-what cute... now, she just looks like Julie Roberts on crack or something. Fix the teeth and eat a fucking burger.

She kind of reminds me of Jennifer Love Hewitt in that picture and of course you could show a movie on those babiess. She's shaped like a barrel.

Is this what's considered ugly now? OMG I'm going to smote myself.

Just remembered, I gave up smoting for Lent.

Highly recommend the Anti-Smoting gum to anyone wishing to quit. The patches are no good - flood the system with an excess of Zeal and Bigotry.

He "has threatened to kill himself and to engage in dramatic actions to get her attention." In that order? I don't get it.

Gee, what ever happened to Lizzie McGuire? She used to be so cute.

Call me crazy-she actually looks really good in these pics.For a while there-she was looking like a busted Mr Ed

Edna-

I just wanted to inform you that God isn't REAL! It's all a big fairy tale designed to keep morons like yourself in line. So please shut the fuck up already, some of us LIKE it dirty. And I'm a SATANIST, and if you report ME, I'm gonna tell my Dark Lord Satan to come after YOU and anally rape you with his horns. So here's a little something just for you...Fuck, fuck, cunt, twat, whore, shit, bitch, asshole, cumdumpster, goddammit, pussy, and cock.

And @112:
Chill out. We make fun of these useless celebtards here, so if you can't handle it, please feel free to go back to the Hillary "Horseface" Duff fansite, and finger yourself there, with other like-minded zombies. Thank you, and good day.

Someone's actually stalking Hilary?

ha ha...well, at least she's got some worries now...

Wow...Who Ever Is Writing These Articals Is Nasty...Every Single One I Have Read Has Been Horrible ,Disrespectful & Unkind...Just Because They Are Celebs Doesnt Mean That People Have The Right To Have A Go About Them, You Dont Know Them So Dont Judge Them,The Person Writing This Colum Is Obv Incredibaly Insecure As They Feel The Need To Critise Others In Such A Malisious Way.

I find it funny that Edna things that this God guy will ignore world hunger, poverty, pedophiles and murderers but he will not let a website slating hilary duff and some 50 something year old virgin operate