October 16, 2006
Brandon Davis is broke
Brandon Davis - the guy who called Lindsay Lohan 'Firecrotch' and made fun of her for only having $7 million - allegedly bounced a $10,000 check he gave to Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis. Additionally, he supposedly owes record producer Scott Storch and The Palm casino owner George Maloof money, suggesting the billions of dollars his grandfather made aren't readily accessible by his family.
Before Brandon told Page Six, "[Bleep] you," and hung up, he explained that his check had bounced because he was switching banks and that he'd paid Francis back in cash (which Francis denies). The check, a copy of which was obtained by Page Six, states it was refused for "insufficient funds."
The only justice now would be for Lindsay Lohan to make fun of Brandon Davis' poverty by driving by in her Kia and offering him some cash. Only she can't afford to give away real money so it'd have to be the Monopoly kind. Or maybe just newspaper cut into little rectangles with "Real Moneys" written on it with permanent marker.
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Comments
1. Posted by Chaste on October 16, 2006 1:43 PM
first
2. Posted by ponk on October 16, 2006 1:44 PM
can't afford his expensive porn anymore? might have to start banging paris hilton and making his own.
3. Posted by thebor on October 16, 2006 1:45 PM
BLAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
Awesome just fucking awesome. My day has been made. Hohan should celebrate with a couple of Shemales and a Scarface pile of coke.
Yeah!!!
4. Posted by Tracie on October 16, 2006 1:45 PM
BDLTC! Too bad he'a an oil heir, because it's obvious he bathes in it every day. Too bad he wasn't the heir to an antiperspirant fortune or something...
5. Posted by Nooken on October 16, 2006 1:45 PM
That guy is some kind of hideous! Even Lohan looks good beside him. And why is he giving Joe Francis money?
Missed first by this much...
6. Posted by Angry Ferret Jones on October 16, 2006 1:46 PM
... and Ugly.
Don't forget ugly.
7. Posted by Tracie on October 16, 2006 1:46 PM
*he's ;)
8. Posted by Angry Ferret Jones on October 16, 2006 1:47 PM
#3 is right, he is one greasy sum'bich. I just want to wipe him off and send him home.
The same way I do to Edna after our dates.
9. Posted by Karen Rani on October 16, 2006 1:50 PM
Maybe someone should tell that poor sap that there are showers in some men's shelters. I'm pretty sure they let you use soap and shampoo too. (God he is digusting)
10. Posted by Chaste on October 16, 2006 1:51 PM
does anyone have a pic of him where he looks good on? I may prevent myself from thinking someone poured some oil on his head probably for an easier penetration.
11. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on October 16, 2006 1:54 PM
Karma
12. Posted by Ramdonomo on October 16, 2006 1:56 PM
Should have trademarked the term 'FIRECROTCH'. That way, anytime the Superfish got off on using it, Brandon would have made money.
What a dumb fuck. Turned around and bit him in the ass. Always does.
13. Posted by Ed Bambrick on October 16, 2006 1:56 PM
Brandon Davis has given us the term "firecrotch." Since his life is now complete, he can be found & exterminated.
14. Posted by Binky on October 16, 2006 1:58 PM
My sources tell me Davis was trying to get Francis to change the name of his new flick - from 'Girls Gone Wild : Oily Hair edition' to 'Girls Gone Wild : Oily Heir Edition '.
Francis of course agreed - willing to do anything for moola.
15. Posted by trinket on October 16, 2006 2:01 PM
I just wish there was a picture of him in which he wasn't wearing his stick-on eyebrows. He looks like a cross between Gomez Addams and Elizabeth Taylor. Only shinier. And poorer.
16. Posted by Holy Candy on October 16, 2006 2:01 PM
One has to wonder why Brandon owes him $10K. Is Joe in the business of pimping out wasted teenagers, too? I guess that's the only way Brandon can get a piece...
http://www.Holycandy.com
17. Posted by pinky_nip on October 16, 2006 2:02 PM
Money can't buy happiness, or talent.
18. Posted by Madrid Marriott on October 16, 2006 2:06 PM
I suspect the shininess is attributable to the fact that Davis and Francis gave each other facials. As we all know, Francis severely craves the cock.
19. Posted by Tracie on October 16, 2006 2:13 PM
The only photo I found of him without an oil-streaked face (the hair, of course, is a different story): http://www.celebguru.org/images/brandon_davis1.jpg
And here's a more appropriate pic:
http://everyonehasavice.com/wordpress/wp-content/idiotspewethlo.jpg
20. Posted by Tracie on October 16, 2006 2:15 PM
The only photo I found of him without an oil-streaked face (the hair, of course, is a different story): http://www.celebguru.org/images/brandon_davis1.jpg
And here's a more appropriate pic:
http://everyonehasavice.com/wordpress/wp-content/idiotspewethlo.jpg
21. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on October 16, 2006 2:22 PM
My God. Poor Brandon may have to get a... JOB! Perish the thought. All he is qualified to do is sweat profusely, and make wisecracks that come back to bite him in the ass. Very talented. He should Joe Francis to show him how to give a high dollar BJ - that is what the bounced check was for.
22. Posted by Kg on October 16, 2006 2:26 PM
It's called karma, people.
23. Posted by combustion8 on October 16, 2006 2:28 PM
what a munson.
24. Posted by theblemish.com on October 16, 2006 2:33 PM
It's true, Krispy Kreme can destroy lives.
http://theblemish.com
25. Posted by Alex on October 16, 2006 2:39 PM
Yeah, going broke usually follows an ass kicking, according to Kevin Connolly.
26. Posted by mrs.t on October 16, 2006 2:41 PM
The check didn't technically 'bounce'. It slipped through the teller's fingers and slithered out the door.
You know, because he's all greasy and shit.
Krispy Kreme got nuthin on the Darvocet I'm on when it comes to harming one's judgement.
27. Posted by yuckyfresh on October 16, 2006 2:55 PM
#2 - he's already banging paris, everyone knows that.
#10 - brilliant. i can imagine he'd need a lot of lube to get his head that much farther up his own ass.
28. Posted by yuckyfresh on October 16, 2006 2:55 PM
still, for a few billion dollars i'd hit it.
29. Posted by peanutbuttercrotch on October 16, 2006 2:57 PM
Please, no more posts about this fugly ass grease monkey EVER AGAIN! He's so nauseating...
30. Posted by CelebSlam.com on October 16, 2006 2:58 PM
He's also 'greasy'
http://www.celebslam.com
31. Posted by Astriastar on October 16, 2006 3:16 PM
AHahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
Thanks for brightening my day! This fucking retard's 15 minutes have be up for months. Will he now please just crawl in a corner and die already? Please?
32. Posted by Jacquelantern on October 16, 2006 3:20 PM
The oily everything is pretty disgusting... But I gotta say the overly plucked/shaped eyebrows are what really bother me... all toghether eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww
33. Posted by combustion8 on October 16, 2006 3:25 PM
his face is bulbous.
34. Posted by Dory on October 16, 2006 4:07 PM
This Guy is Gross.... I know he hangs with Paris and I know he came up with firecrotch but WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY??? He looks like Elvis gone bad! I mean, I would rather do the real Elvis when he was grossly overweight then do this guys he's disgusting.
Just look at him, imagine the BO that wafts off him when he walks past you. It makes me gag just thinking about it. He tries to big note himself and all, what's he ever done has he ever even had a job. If I ever become a billionair (I wish) I will NEVER EVER EVER leave any of it to my kids or grandkids, they can go out and get a job themselves cause there is NO WAY I would let any of my decendants end up like this grease ball. EW!
35. Posted by tsarinaamanda on October 16, 2006 4:46 PM
He looks like a fatter, uglier, creeper Elvis. An Elvis with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. At least Elvis could sing and earned his own money, this fat load has to leech off Grandaddy's fortune. Piece of shit, although the "firecrotch" thing WAS brilliant...
36. Posted by RichPort on October 16, 2006 4:49 PM
Great. I saw this while eating then decided to throw out my porkchops.
37. Posted by Anonymous on October 16, 2006 5:14 PM
George W. Bush and his posse should stop invading Middle East countries in order to harvest oil. What Bush should do is harvest oil from Brandon Davis, the fat-ass greaseball pig. Fuck, the U.S. oil supply is set for life.
38. Posted by egomanimac on October 16, 2006 5:26 PM
Ok, first off, he did not "give us" firecrotch. I've had that one since at least my eighth grade summer break up with the red haired vixen I met at soccer camp. I am just devouring the delicious irony that is drunken (purported) billionaire's blatherings. It would be about as ironic as Mark Foley putting away pedderasses. Oh wait...
39. Posted by lostopoly on October 16, 2006 6:05 PM
Here's the article on where the money went...
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/55836/brandon_davis_may_not_be_rich.html
I was saying this back in September. That's why Mischa dumped him. her people found out he didn't have the money but was having PR people call him an "heir".
40. Posted by NipsyHustle on October 16, 2006 6:29 PM
i hope he has access to a free clinic because once he can't afford his Valtrex, he is going to shed his skin and become one giant herpe. see what happens when you poke paris' poon? nothing good.
41. Posted by xx.deathcab.xx on October 16, 2006 7:11 PM
Whats wrong with you people? Sure he's an oil heir, but that doesn't imply he's bathing in oil.
Everybody knows it's leathery-smooth KY-JELLY.
42. Posted by Dory on October 16, 2006 7:15 PM
I feel bad making the elvis reference... i disrespected the King a bit there didn't I. Elvis had talent and made money himself he started off poor and worked his way to the top Giant Herpes man is going to go the other way.
43. Posted by Anonymous on October 16, 2006 7:30 PM
Deathcab:
There's enough oil in Brandon's hair and face to supply enough fuel for the U.S. all year.
On a related note, Brandon sort of looks like a big fat, puss-filled zit that is ready to pop any second. I'd like to pop him--by smashing my fists into both sides of his face.
44. Posted by Italian Stallion on October 16, 2006 7:45 PM
@37 Bush would just fuck that up too...........
45. Posted by sexybitch on October 16, 2006 8:20 PM
#17 - you're so right,
money CAN'T buy happiness or talent. But in his case he can't even rent them.
46. Posted by naeboo~ on October 16, 2006 10:00 PM
maybe one day he would be laughing at people for having to eat in hilton and not with the sultan of brunei or sthg like that.
47. Posted by naeboo~ on October 16, 2006 10:02 PM
what he should be renting is some oxygen for his brains. it might help.
we just hope.
48. Posted by naeboo~ on October 16, 2006 10:04 PM
maybe he should be pay for some pure oxygen for his brains. it might help.
we only hope
49. Posted by Dory on October 16, 2006 10:07 PM
I dunno if the oxygen would help his brain but he should definatly be paying for it... someone like that breathing and not paying for it Must be criminal. He's an oxygen bandit.
50. Posted by All Powerful Wizard Of Oz on October 16, 2006 11:57 PM
Is it me or does his face look like someone bukkaked him?
It must be me.
51. Posted by faygored on October 17, 2006 4:00 AM
why does his face always look "dewey"? Does he vasoline his skin or something?
52. Posted by jrzmommy on October 17, 2006 5:49 AM
He so reminds me of Robert Downey, Jr.'s character in Less Than Zero, even more so now that we know he's broke. Cocaine is a powerful drug......
53. Posted by RichPort on October 17, 2006 6:03 AM
This fuck reminds me of the time when Joey from Friends got the meat sweats.
54. Posted by Stuey75 on October 17, 2006 6:07 AM
he always looks like he is sweating. i mena always. i have never seen this guy where it DOESNT look like he just ran 20 miles.
and another point....who says firecrotch? i hadnt heard that since the 4th grade. rich people are fun to laugh at.
55. Posted by parkinsoplayer on October 17, 2006 6:36 AM
Poor shit, to look like he does (fuckin ugly like the sweatin ass of a monkey) and then to be broke...
He'll selling sexual favours to blind gay dobbermans soon. Or maybe he could donate some of his stinkin booze soaked organs for money.
Actually I'm glad and am praising God for this
56. Posted by GirlyGirl on October 17, 2006 7:57 AM
This is one of the most disgusting humans I've ever seen. It's gross to be that greasy. He needs to hook up with Janice Dickenson and they can be the most crass & disgusting people in the world. They have about the same level of class. On a scale of 1-10, I'd say about a negative bajillion.
57. Posted by jrzmommy on October 17, 2006 9:12 AM
I can hear it now, in about 15 years, "...and that, children, was the first time I sucked dick for crack."
58. Posted by Alex on October 17, 2006 9:31 AM
Anyone ever notice how Brandon smokes? Real quick drags and then puts it out. Know why? He will lights his shit on fire if the burning end gets too close to the flammable face goo.
59. Posted by auzzie2006 on October 17, 2006 5:00 PM
isn't that what dudes look like after slappin' their monkey too hard?
60. Posted by Stuey75 on October 18, 2006 5:53 AM
#59, I know I DONT. lol
And believe me, I pistol whip the monkey hahaha
61. Posted by cole007 on October 23, 2006 11:20 AM
that explains why he can't afford toner, or soap, or anything to soak up that grease from all the 99 cent menu burgers and tacos he can afford to eat after begging for money all day... or, eating of Nicole Richie's plate... hmmmm this all seems to be coming together quite nicely now....