Ashlee Simpson tries to speak, fails

Why is it always the idiots who have the money?

ASHLEE SIMPSON IS THE NEXT MICHAEL JACKSON! Not yet 25 and already has had 13+ plastic surgeries. Oops. I mean, only two. On the nose. That's ALL. Nothing else has been done. Uhn uhn.

She looks like one of those 40 year old women who's had too much plastic surgery and ends up looking older anyway.

I would totally bang her box out as long as she keeps her mouth shut.

I think that nose job is the best thing she could have done for her face. She looks less like Alice the Goon now. A little chin reduction surgery would not be a bad idea, though.

Maybe it was a pre-recorded statement that got messed up in the playback? I dunno....it's gotta be hard to concentrate when your own father is checking you out.

She should get plastic surgery on her chin too. Then she can put plastic over her head and put a Mattel stamp on it.

http://theblemish.com

since when did Ashley become hotter than Jessica?

There once was a chick named Ash
who made tons and tons of cash
Took her her home one night
found out she was tight
Then dropped a load in her ass.

... She couldn't even be bothered to WEAR sketchers apparently.

"I look forward to representing Skechers clothing line; I also hope to add a few more pairs to my wardrobe."

There you go girl, after an unintelligible first sentence, just bound right in to why you ever agreed to hawk Sketchers in the first pace...FOR THE FREE SHOES!

I wonder if she read those lines back, did a stupid little dance, then blamed her band...

Daddy must tell her to shut up during sex.

She's the type of girl you're fucking in the ass and won't stop screaming stupid shit, so you have no choice but to give her the "ATM" followed by a "strawberry milkshake".............

Her cleft chin scares me

http://www.celebslam.com

BUH-HORING *Cough*

"going to the beyond"

Is that like sucking to the suck, as in how Ashlee sucks.

I don't think a mandate on knee-pad wearing would be necessary. She's been wearing them for quite some time of her own volition. I mean, record deal... a not not bad singer?

Does anyone else think she looks a bit Fergie-in-the-face now?

The faker the boobs get, the smaller the brain gets...

What is wrong with this girl?

I looked at the close-ups and wondered why she was trying to maximize that awful cleft in her chin by putting darker make-up on it. Then I realized, horror of horros, she's got a zit right there! Ashlee shouldn't be worried about crappy shoes, she needs to get in line behind Jessica and start using and selling Proactive.

I got a headache just looking at her.

Zeebrat, you are right she is not even wearing Skechers.

Looks like she is wearing Converse.

That's an enormous Faux Paux.

by headache I'm mean the head of my cock almost fell off while looking at her.

Interesting...the comments are criticizing a stupid girl for not knowing how to speak, and yet the "Note" at the bottom uses the wrong personal pronoun.

Isn't it ironic? Dontcha think?

But seriously folks, why is her headband made out of yarn? Oh I get it...arts and crafts.

#16---there is no way she's looking like fergie. ashlee is still cute enough for the average guy to let his kids swim around on her face. fergie looks like a fucking meth muppet. no way a boner is sticking around with her in the room.

Schlumpy Jess is still way sexier than Olive Oil here. I do not like this broad whatsoever. She makes Jess look like a road scholar. One bright spot in Ashlee's new found fame though is that Daddy is now elbowing Jess out of the way for his new "Special Girl". Maybe Jess will have the chance to go out and get laid by a non-related man....

#22 It's not really ironic it's coincidental, it's ironic that you point out a mistake and now I point out that you are mistaken. :)

If we don't buy the shoes, she won't have a job.

HUH???

"road scholar"?

Ba, ha, ha, ha, ha...Thanks! You've made me laugh more than this site has in a while!

As a Road scholar, I too can sell Sketchers

I believe it's "Rhodes" scholar.

A Road Scholar is someone who is a cartographer, right?

I think it's someone who's an expert on tires, myself.

Kinda like the Michelin Man. He was a road scholar. Yep.

"Ashlee Simpson tries to speak, fails"

What a coincidence, her previous headlines said:

"Ashlee Simpson tries to sing, fails"

Does anyone even wear Sketchers anymore? Aren't they like, shit you regret you liked from 2001?

with English skills like that, she has a great future working drive-thru windows at the fastfood retailer of her choise.

with English skills like that, she has a great future working drive-thru windows at the fastfood retailer of her choice.

with English skills like that she has a great future working the drive-thru window of the fastfood retailer of her choice.

wow! a triple post. don't try this at home, people.

PrettyBaby I'm sad to have to tell you this, but because of the "road scholar" incident...you've been clowned!

You'll be receiving a kit containg a Superfish issued clown wig, clow nose and clown shoes.

may god have mercy on your soul

I am sooo fine with it, Darlin'

Nothing phases "PrettyBaby".
She must come from "sturdy stock".

I like it!!!!!!!!!

hehehehe

yes sturdy stock indeed.

...and by "sturdy", I mean she must be able to suck the tar off of a chrome bumper. :)

Hey Superfish, Any chance you could post a side-by-side photo comparison of 'old' Ashlee and 'new' Ahslee. She is completely unrecognizable.

What a no-talent sellout. I can't fucking stand her. She bitched and moaned on her reality show about being separate from Jessica, but when she kept fucking up repeatedly as "punk" Ashlee, she decided to cave and become Jessica.

She still sucks. I hope she goes away very soon.

I thought she was cuter before all the surgery, and before she dyed her hair dark brown/black (obviously its not black anymore). She was a cutie when she was on 7th Heaven - before attempting to become a singer. Her personality is a huge turn-off though, for my tastes. I wouldn't have been able to guess it's Ashley in those photos. Totally unrecognizable.

Shoulda stayed natural!!

That's Ashlee Simpson? I honestly thought it was an Olsen twin and was about to comment how surprised I was to only see one!

Christ, she's unrecognizable.

Huge turn-off indeed #46, I haven't forgotten her little drunken tirade a while back on McDonalds, where she decided to give people who actually work for their money a hard time. I hope they pissed on her shake, spat on her fries and shat on her Big Mac.

No matter how many surgeries she subjects herself to, on the inside, she's still an ugly fuck.

#44 Euromoo, here you are:
http://www.celebrityplasticpics.com/ashlee_simpson_nose_job.htm

Now it is known that I can be an airhead. *Sigh* Whatever. Don't go to the Rush Limbaugh thread, fucking scary. I think I recognize some of the chics making comments on there from the U of M when I was there ;) Hairy armpits and shit. They should worry more about when (or if) they will ever get some good dicking.

And I may as well tell you since I am now clowned and possibly hated, that I've always thought Jessica Simpson was cute and fun. So there. Ashlee Simpson sucks though. Fuck she's a problem.

#41, I knew you couldn't resist, you're mine now and possibly #44 too YUM..

wtf is wrong with her lips? it scares me

Don't worry sugar-tits I don't hate ya' and I don't think any of the other men will, since you're looking to get dicked.(pity Land-Man isn't here anymore)

y'know she's kinda cute, but i'd worry she might puncture my scrotum with that chin.

Her family outta be strung up for letting her do that to herself. Way to confirm that they think she is ugly naturally and she needs to resort to 50 surgeries to change herself into what they pray is Jessica's clone.

Pretty Baby---

Boy, road scholar...one little mistake and, face it anyone could make that mistake. Suddenly you are the escape goat for all of Superfish.

It is just not fair!

I love you

ok....are you smoking crack? ashley simpson has gotten cute? if you like fake!
the problem here is that underneath all that plastic surgery is the same ugly person. one day her kids will wonder why they dont look like mommy and mommy will have to explain that she doesnt look like mommy either.

I love you more.

I say if you have a cleft you should be proud and accentuate it like Nigel in Spinal Tap did when he put black eye liner on it. LOL God I love that movie.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

I'm going to quickly jump into my escape goat and zoom the fuck outta here!!

"Escape goat". Nice.

#62 Who are you in your real life?! You are funny!! And I am sure you are also cuter than Ashlee Simpson, so that makes you superior.

I mean #61....

#4

Man, she could yell, "Death to all that don't sacrifice innocent blood to Federline spawn" and I'd still bang away.

http://www.michaelstrini.50megs.com/ashlee_simpson_2.jpg

there's a before pic

Wearing Converse to a Sketchers photo shoot.

GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PrettyBaby, I'm a mommy from South Jersey and a hospital working kinda chick that eats jujyfruits and advocates the use of Stolichnaya for self-medication purposes -- for anything from acne to PMS to post traumatic stress disorder. And you?

Does anyone else think that she is starting to look like the love child of Misha Barton and Heather Graham?

jrzmommy- I too am a mommy (but a single one ;) I work in a Real Estate office in Minneapolis for the Notorious 3 (Their love and admiration for me is incredible)- I love to go out and tear it up when the Boys are with Daddy. I prefer the delicious and slightly more expensive Skyy. And yes, I have been known to self-medicate in times of need.

I need you Ashlee. I need you to just be quiet and then lay down.

Thanks.

she is better than the dirty-looking sister.

she is just as stupid, though - I think that whole family drank the water out of the tap in Richardson, TX. My own father started watching Fox news 24-7 as soon as he had a glass of the stuff... be warned. "They" put "stuff" in the water.

the arms on the poster look like they're coming from her legs. further proof that ashlee simpson is a horrible, tentacled beast.

Sure, Ashlee's no prize, but the new nose is sooooo much better than that gigantic hook she had before. She had a good doctor.

After your comment about her chin she is busy scheduling her next surgery.

Just another celeb that has proven being original sucks, and being like everyone else earns you a deal with a multi-million dollar company.

Thank you, Ashlee.
And Sketchers.

I would snatch that ass UP ya smell me?

I would snatch that ass UP! Ya smell me?

Is she schlepping Sketchers, while wearing Cons? Cuz that's kind of like trying to lip-sync to the wrong song... if you ask me.

holy shit.

she does look better than jessica. just look at that proactiv ad on the main page. jess looks ugly.

jessica is just a short bag of tits.

ashlee is proportional, except her chin of course.

i'd bend her over the table and hit that.

even after all that plastic surgury, she still scares me. the grin... the one eye that is a half inch higher... the dead fish stare.

she can't speak, she can't sing...
but still she makes money.

daddy done good.

Photo #2: there is a hand reaching out for help from between her legs...

Good god! There is a man trapped in there! Somebody help! Somebody!

Yeah she's a retard.

That nose job came out okay I guess. But her eye job looks like shit, she just looks weird and fake and somehow OLDER.

That jacket fucking rules and I want it, I don't care what anybody thinks. Anyone know the designer?

Fret not, Crashlee's chin is scheduled for a dicing. That too shall morph in time, trust! ;)

I guess her cue cards were written by a Jap, or something. At least she can read.

I like the close up pics #5 and #6. :)

http://www.ashleesimpsonguide.com/

I like the close up pics #5 and #6. :)

http://www.ashleesimpsonguide.com/

Does anyone else realize that she's there to promote Skechers and she is in all the promo pics with freakin Converse on!!! All in favor.... Moron!!!!

Wow #88, none of us noticed that at all!! In fact...it wasn't even posted like 5 times previously. Idiot.

she is so boring and predictable now, it might as well be any she is so boring and predictable now, it might as well be any <25 year old ditz saying it. without the schnoz frankly i have no interest in her anymore - SHE IS DEAD TO ME

she is so boring and predictable now, it might as well be any she is so boring and predictable now, it might as well be any <25 year old ditz saying it. without the schnoz frankly i have no interest in her anymore - SHE IS DEAD TO ME

I love how she is endorsing Sketchers sneakers and wearing converses.

lol, why do they keep making crackheads famous? and she's supposed to be a singer?!?