Sep 13 2006Victoria Beckham is a freak of nature

Waaay too overtanned!

/obvious

We can expect that in 10 years she will look 80. Or dead. Depending on whether age or cancer gets her first.

She looks *horrible*. Like, not a human. On what planet is that glamourous? Does she not have a mirror?

YIKES!

http://www.pg.com/science/skincare/Skin_tws_3/skin_tws_02.jpg

She looks like she's melting. She's got WAY too much make-up on.

Posh Spice ? More like Posh Carrot.

She looks like an inverted image of Michael Jackson.

Nice outfit though.

Is that grease on her face? She looks a little slimey. Those breasts sure stand out-I mean they just push straight out- she can't even button that shirt- in Pic four doyou see that witch eyeing her like she wants to get some of that. Creepy

You can't fool us thesuperficial. That's obviously a mannequin.

http://www.celebslam.com

Posh in 10 years

http://www.unclemelon.com/tan_old_woman.jpg

@2 - If she gets cancer it's going to be from "mystic tan" (because what she's got going on ain't natural). I wonder what will do to you once it seeps into your pores and courses through the body.

And what's with the face. You could chisel ice with that thing.

And I never thought of using black electrician's tape for a waist cincher. I thought I was cutting edge with my duct tape dress.

wow new size of fake boobies (i remember her being flat like a boy). she is going hardcore.

why does her face always look like it has a layer of slime on it? jesus..it's not like she doesn't have money enough to have her own personal face blotter running around behind her.. but then maybe the pondscumfilmy look is in this season? along with the agentorange afterglow? she's not just horrible.. she's freaking WHOREABLE..

Has she been roasting on a spit? What makes the "fried in batter" look so appealing? She looks like an orange version of dude who used to play guitar in Marilyn Manson. Nice going, Posh.
http://img412.imageshack.us/img412/5204/zimzum20026ed.jpg

By the way. Who knew there were so many Posh look-a-likes??
http://www.splitting-images.com/posh_spice.html
A few of them have got it bang-on.

pouting mouth, wide open eyes and stiff as a rock, yup that bitch is posing as zoolander.

@18, Yes! It looks like the blue steel pose. LOL

Looks like someone when a little crazy with the spray on tanner. You are only supposed to get sprayed once, she looks like she swam in a vat of it for hours! Yikes.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

These pictures prove that millions of pounds cannot buy great skin - even for the skinniest orange Chav.

ALL ABOARD THE HEIN TRAIN!

CHOO CHOOOOOOOOOOO!

Damn, what a greasy looking, implanted, assless, skeleton of a woman. Is she auditioning for Madame Toussaud already? Oh England, why do you worship her so??? Damn you Simon Cowell!!! Damn you to hell!!!

Actually, I thought that was Vivica Fox for a minute there..

Is she that self-concious that she needs ALL that makeup... and her shirt is see through! What is up with these celebrities? It is like they are begging to be seen...WE GET IT!

She looks like she secretes curry powder.

Is David Beckham blind?

#25 - The intense heat during the England vs. Portugal game during the world cup could have affected his eyesight. He may have also burst a few veins from puking his guts up on the field.

Still…he’s been married to her for a l-o-n-g time….

Who cares if she doesn't know how to use bronzer properly, I'd still hit it.

I love the bike innertube belt !!

hmmm, looks like Posh Shit.

I would fuck that leather skinned slut for so long, she'd turn into a tri-fold wallet.

I haven't seen that much moisture atop an orange hue since I walked through a grove in Florida on a rainy day.

YIKES!!! That's one scary bitch!

i think she may have hired Barry Manilow's make up artist...

I think it's the lighting, but what a rack. I'm a tits guy,..............
and a pussy guy, and an ass guy, and legs, and elbows are nice.

What really concerns me is whether or not she knows she's being stalked by Ann B. Davis a.k.a. Alice from the "Brady Bunch". Scary.

Hopeless

it looks like her facing is melting lol

dumb girl is standing all alone in the party, david must've stood her up.

I thought she was preggers again? Beckham told a bunch of Spanish reporters that she was.

Ann B. Davis.....the unexpected fashionista!

#30 LMAO Thanks for making my day! Although now I have to figure out how to get the mouthful of coffee off my keboard.

No wonder her husband cheats on her, she is a freak!

Hopeless, you used to watch the Brady Bunch...
My hero!!!

I would screw her wheels off. . . As for the strange color of her tan, I think Hopeless is correct, it's the lighting (since everything in the background is dark and she is reflecting some of the light from the camera's flash)

She's more negroid then Scary Spice.

@40 ImSuicidal

I had a thing for Alice!! She can really cook.

I'm into dikes!!!

hopeless

http://www.moviemarket.co.uk/Photos/Ann_B_Davis_P202712.html

Man, she's into the Hulk Hogan/George Hamilton range. Any more tanning and she'll fall right out of the box of Crayolas.

http://www.reidaboutit.com

The Zoolander comment was spot on. Does this skank ever smile? She must have some rotten-ass British teeth.

Everybody's already said it: she's going to look 80 in 10 years.

Older skinny tan women are not attractive. Think the Parisite Hilton character at the end of Pink's "Stupid Girls" video.

Turning into a cartoon is right only more specifically, an Anime character. All that needs to happen is a little 'photoshop' job on those eyes and she would be.

Her skin is awful; she's got blemishes on her oily forehead and you can see the huge pores on her cheeks of all places. Who has huge pores on their cheeks???

Too much sun, makeup...just too much everything ..well except food.

Why are the brits so impressed by this woman? She was in a short-lived, mediocre pop band and she married a soccer player. BFD.

call me crazy,,,,but I would still bone her

I leave my fly unzipped for the same reason she leaves her blouse unbuttoned: to make what's behind it look bigger. It must be working, because people can't stop staring at my crotch.

Her boobies look like 2 orange halves bolted to her chest. More proof that you can have more money than god and a plastic surgeon that, apparently, specializes in making people look mangled.

43- Mr Screenwriter, thanks for the photos.
The one with 'Hand On Chin' is my new wallpaper.

The look on her face in some of those pics looks like she just got a sniff of her career.

She has the most robotic "expression" on her face at
all times! Those plastic boobs are the worst!
Why is Becks with her?

I wish she would just turn those tits loose.

#30 - You are fuckin' hilarious! Tri-fold wallet? Where do you think of this stuff?!

Chicagoboy - the return of an oldie but goodie. How ya's been?
And I see tits_on_snack is gracing us today! What a nice afternoon at SuperFish!

LOL what a loner no ones talking to her.
she definately needs some oil mopping sheets cause her face looks like a pizza.
i dont really understand why everyone loves tans so much that theyd go overboard. i definately prefer white to orange.

@53 You're welcome Suici, all in a days work.

@52 Jacq
I like an occasional orange half.

Especially after it's been rubbed on pinky_nips snatch!!

hopeless

I feel dirty just looking at those pictures.

#57 Hey Jacq! What's shaking? Does appear we have a little Superfish reunion going on.

It's Bizarro Michael Jackson

RE: Tranny Granny comment - awesome.

I guess if Paris H. can be a "celebrity" over here, Posh can be a "celebrity" over there. She looks ill, like she has liver failure or something. I don't think it's just lighting, though that isn't helping. British women are supposed to be pale and dewy-looking, they're not supposed to look like the Oompa Loompa queen. C'mon, Posh, you're letting the UK down. See Helena Bonham Carter, Rachel Weisz, Kate Beckinsale. Now those bitches know how to work the British thing.

@16, tits:
as for that "fried in batter" look, may i refer you to our regional experts, tranny and zanna?

they'll give you the real uh, upside, about battered fried objects!
;)

#59 - You kidding me? That thing's big enough for a grapefruit! ROTFLOL that still has me laughing - 10 rounds with a boxing kangaroo...

#56 Release the hounds! Free the sweater puppies!

You bunch of fucktards, complaining what she'll look like in 10 years.
Right now, I'd let this bitch blow me for a few happy hours while I played with those rubber tits of hers and I'd have a great time. And I can't stand fake titties, but I'd still hit it until she blew a stitch and completely deflated.

#65, Jacq: I'll have you know that my box is so small and tight that my cherry didn't even fit!

I don't even think that shade of orange is found in nature....

"Honey roll over, that side is done" said David. How much you wanna bet her virtually non existant little ass is pasty white? I do have to say though that every woman should have a bolt on set of fake boobies to play with from time to time. My question is how much spray on adhesive did she have to use to keep legal? Obviously her nipples like the sensation.

Eventhough in 10 years she's going to look like an orange dwarf raisin, I'd still hit that. Of course my penis would split her in half like a hamster, but then again, with the electrical tape belt, splittage could be minimized.

#68 - I bet you say that to all of the girls!

At least we're not seeing her panti-less crotch all over the internets.

#72 Why did you have to go there? I just finished washing out my eyes with sand from the last viewing Hiho's meat curtains. . .

she just gave "leatherface" a whole different meaning.

And I think this one scares me even more.

oh come on now. she has like 1100 kids. the face that she doesn't look MORE like a baked potato is actually very surprising.

She's had way too much botox, she can't even smile anymore. But what I wouldn't do to fuck the living shit out of her husband.

shiny-dark-skinny-tranny-looking-freak

David Beckham is way too hot for her.

Nice Hefty bag around her waist. I'll keep that in mind next time I forget my belt.

I have to agree with #67. Most of you guys would do her in a second if you had the chance! So she's a little orange! get over it. Maybe she was having a bad day - She still has a fucken tight body.
David is the most sexy, nice guy so there must be something about this woman that keeps him there.
Disagree with me all you want - you can be and say whatever you want on this site - but in reality it would be a different story!

Weird and braless, saggy boobs

Check out the 'old' boobies:

http://www.mpstock.de/bilder/Victoria_Beckham%2520011%2520(1).jpg

I am glad she traded them in for the new models. I would hit that shit like a naughty puppy. (it is sooo had not to make a Skippy joke here.)

Hey look, it's Melanoma Spice.

I would not be suprised if she had a cock.

two words:

Proactiv Solution

Wow.. Those Madame Tussaud wax figures look realistic...

Celebrities pay people to tell them when they look awful.. Are these people blind or just cruel?

www.whatthesha.com

woah,someone should tell Posh to lay off the beta carotene,it turns you orange-it might be a little too late though.

Posh is hot. she does not look as tan in person and when she is completely naked. When she screams during sex, you forget any concerns you may have about her appearance.

@76-

That nasty bag of antlers has NEVER smiled for a pic in her life, and I don't think it has to do with the Botox. I bet she's got some rotten teeth under those collagened fish lips. She'd probably qualify for the Big Book of British Smiles.

Um, Posh, can you get your orange leather handbag off of the table.....oh, that's your HAND! Oops, sorry :)

@88-

When you stuck it to her, did she break a hip? She looks like a prime candidate for osteoporosis. I bet you can feel her ribs when you're banging her. It probably feels like her cooch has teeth....ew.

This woman clearly cares about her appearance, however cartoonish it is. She's starved herself, got some impressive implants, chose her outfit carefully, over tanned herself to the point of crispiness. None of these are good things to do, but it shows that she's aware of her appearance, however clownish she is...

So why didn't she notice her face looks like she's been dunked in Wesson oil, excess patted off, then rolled in pancake mixture? If you got that kind of money and time, please use some to control the face grease.

Remember when the girls in nude pictures had extremely defined tan lines (white boos, ass, and nether region? I thought it was a lot sexier than the homogenized look of today. Is it ok to say HOMOgenized?

She´s hot... even in orange
nice tits by the way...
and whats wrong with the outfit?
i´ve seen a lot of woman dressed like that

She seems super-nice.

Good lord( sorry Sarah) that is one greasy bitch. She looks like she actually armor-alls her face in the morning.

Seriously, her thick skin looks like Patrick Ewing in the fourth quarter. Just a greasy, shiny, no-talent, gold-digging, kafe-titty mother fucker.

Now that she has been on my screen, I have to wipe the grease off. Twice.

gold digger? I dont think so... by the time she was just datting beckham she was a super spice-world wide known-girl and he was just a regular player payed with a minimum wage...

I don't know about Mrs. Beckham, besides looking really scary in Orange, But that Lady behind her in the 4th picture, is Reeeaaally freaking me out.

-G

#96 - Are you out of your mind? Beckham played in the World Cup QM in 1996, and was voted player of the year! Then went on to destroy opponents over the following two years playing for United.

Meanwhile, that trashy whore was shooting "Spice Girls - The Movie." in 1997.

Fucking people that talk out of their asses.

still.. who made more money?
sorry if I offend you or your gay boyfriend...

Ew

Wow. Too much fake bake there sweetie.

I'd still hit it.

http://www.edquartersaudio.com

OINK?!

Lordy I hate it when rich people have bad skin. I want proof that vast sums of money can restore skin to baby's bum smoothness and I aint gettin it!

The Brit fascination with Posh is due to her own self-involvement. It's like Paris but with fewer minge shots. You wonder how one person can be so posey, so pouty, such an attention whore.

Apparently she has her own in-house spray-tanning booth and those tits are new this summer.

I don't belief Paris or Posh 'do' sex. It would muss their hair and makeup. Girls like that are just prickteasers.

Owwwww Chermone. Bitch has got some stuck out fake titties, a fake nose, fake tan, fake hair, plastic surgery, she's trying to be like Michael Jackson. At least Michael can sing. Owwww Chermone Eeee Eeee.

#104 I think that's her real snout.

So not only has been apparently given up on food, but she seems to have foresaken breathing as well. This is made obvious by that black rubber band she's wearing, usually found around bunches of broccolli in the produce section. It doesn't surprise me that she's greasier than Brandon Davis... she's apparently sucreted all liquid perperation years ago and is moving on to sweating out the remaining 1% of her body fat. Somebody buy this bitch a Slim Fast shake.

It must be all the murders that she has committed!

How many times has she been to jail now? How many different high-security mental institutes, and in how many different countries, has she been in now? How much of a serious fraudster is she now?

she has always reminded me of a pig when I see her, strange considering that she's so skeletal and is definitely not as pink or cute as ms. piggy...

What no one seems to remember is that she lives in SPAIN. Not in america. Not in new york. NOt in L.A. or anywhere remotely associated with mild sun rays. Have any of you been to spain? Of course not, or you would realize how fucking hot it is and how clean there part of the earth is considering they have better ways of dealing with the ozone than anyone in america. So obviously the sun is strong as hell. I spent a whole month in germany and nearly got this freaking orange just falling asleep in the fucking sun smoking cigarettes. Not healthy, but happened naturally.

GGRREEAASSYY...UGLY ASS HO, NO BODY AND UGLY SKIN...WHY OH WHY DOES SHE THINK SHE'S ALL THAT...but she got lucky with a real hottie...so beautiful women have no chance...huh? Makes sense to me! not..

Posh has the hot new look for spring -- mummified pharaoh!

Now let's not be mean here. All she's trying to do is make herself look like beef jerky. Is that so wrong? I remember when she was young and beautiful dancing around as the only good looking Spice Girl. Poor Emma was the youngest but still looked like Bee Aurthor. The others were too fucking ugly to mention. Sporty spice looked like a fucking Banshee. Actually...She WAS a banshee. Oh well, you get a little soccer cock inside ya, and poof.. you look like Tara Reid. How I know that, will never be mentioned again. :(

Hey #98...careful before you insult others and talk like you know something. #96 is exactly right. Posh was rich and famous before Beckham ever was. He didnt really take off in England until after his 1998 disgrace in the World Cup. Spice World was no doubt a failure, but Posh had made her money by then and that was just one last attempt at a cash grab. He started making mad wages after Posh had already banked hers and hooked up with him. I wouldnt really classify either one as a gold digger, but he is one before she is.

1. The next slim jim commercial gone bad.
2. Someone accidently replaced her house lights with tanning bulbs.
3. She's been Mexican all this time and faking.
4. Going for a Guiness record for the combo:
Big and Tanned.
Oh - oopsie - she already won that

Posh looks as if she's been basted in Heinz 57. And her indignant, incredulous facial expression could well be a reaction to someone in the crowd loudly accusing her of eating.

On the upside, if she stays that color, the little Beckham boys can put her outside on the porch next October, doing double Halloween duty as a skeleton AND a jack-o-lantern. BOO!

she always looks perfect. her style too. i adore her!!!

She looks like the GEICO caveman's girlfriend in the first two pics...

she's always been way wrecked