Sep 5 2006Suri Cruise is a real human being

Oh shutup, she's actually cute.

second!!! W00T!! and yes, that child is beautiful\!!

Who is this and what have they done with Mr. Superficial Man?

Flat out beautiful? That's a stretch. A very large stretch.

Wow, she is pretty damn cute. Too bad papa's gonna mess her head up... that's really really really dark hair

At least she learned a new adjective besides "amazing"

I was first I guess i am supposed to make a big deal about that now

I think she's absolutely GORGEOUS, but she looks asian to me!!!

So weird....

They look happy.

anchower, you're a jerk. Go to some other blog to talk trash.

Well, at least the last two posts has brought us back to superficial reality. We don't know what just yet, but there has got to be something really wrong with the kid. There just has to be. Please.... Oh, TCLTC

Is that a baby toupe??

All this doesn't matter much. So someone really DID turkey baste Kate's gina with his goo... Woo hoo. Proof of him contributing DNA. Nothing more. We all still now that he had nothing to do with the mechanics of the conception. Because....

TCLTC still and forever....

Post #9 should have actually been #12. Fucking internet.

It only makes sense, it's simple math:
Angelina(sexy) + Brad(sexy)=babies can't be sexy, creepy looking baby who doesn't open eyes

Katie(cute and adorable) + Tom(cute in a special way)=sooooooooooooooooooo cute!!!!!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! It was worth the wait! Who knows how it was made, cloning, genetic labs, picking out an Asian, who knows, but it's so cute!!!!!!!! I want an alien baby!!!! Yay!!!!!!

yea beautiful. but fake, hes a homosexual dummy. the semen can't break through poo. bought the baby, thing is too developed for its age. naive is u.

Granted she's not the mongoloid baby everyone was expecting, but she's far from beautiful. Sorry, but babies of pretty people rarely make pretty babies.

Sure - the baby exists and hell, it even looks like Tom - but that doesn't mean we should start typing TCLV.

TCLTC!

I've just had another look at that baby and it looks suspiciously like John Travolta's daughter.

Tom and John would make great parents.

TCLTC.

ITEM: The Superficial, exposed to photos of 'Suri Cruise,' has gone both gay and stupid and Scientologist. First, no matter what a baby looks like, it is never 'beautiful,' unless you're a homo or a woman...or a pedophile. Furthermore, how dumb or Scientologist do you have to be to believe that this creature is actually the fruit of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes's loins, and not a Chinese tyke bleached and surgeried into looking vaguely like it might have a dollop of Cruise-Holmes DNA in it somewhere?

I think it took so long to show off the baby b/c they took so long to find a baby to pass off as theirs, and it took a while to find baby hair dye. She seems too old too...hmmm They probably bought this one off the black market.

Wow that is a cute baby does it have blue eyes?
It's adorable!!!!

Tom is still very much gay though.......

What is with these weird ass posts that are staying at the end... ???

#13 - I too thought that this baby looks awefully large for a what, 4 month old?

dummb... why only show photos now? they found some baby and digitally rendered. wag the dog people.... only this time the dog is gay... and his name is tom cruise... and the only wagging he does is to himself... and other men. yea.

Awww she looks just like L. Ron Hubbard.

PunjabPete, you beat me to it. I was gonna ask "Is that child wearing a wig?"

I've never seen a four-month old baby with that much hair.

The baby is beautiful...not much else to say...fag...

Dear thesuperficial,

You're losing your edge

Sincerely,

http://www.celebslam.com

She looks too big to be 3-4 months old. Especially coming from a midget and a skinny rake woman.

Also, little Suri looks just a little like Chris Klein. Methinks that's why she's been hidden for so long? You can't disguise a 3month old as a 3 day old, but as they get older, ages are harder to determine...

TCLTC

What's the difference between a Ford and a retarted baby suri foetus?
Tom doesn't have a Ford in his garage.

That baby is too cute to be real, its gotta be cgi. Look at that picture, he's already got like the perfect model picture look down.

As much as I can't stand TC, this baby is GORGEOUS!

And I'm thinking you guys are not very familiar with babies, right? She's NOWHERE too big for 4 months (my son was much bigger than she is), and as for the hair, I see babies that hairy all the time. Jeez, people, TC is pushing 50 and look at his head of hair!!

As much as I dodn't wanna say this (because I love to pick on him), Suri does look a lot like TC. And the "asian" eyes, is just baby Katie Holmes droopy eyes...

Well, there goes all our fun. What a gorgeous baby. And she's a perfectly believable 4-month old, in addition to looking like both of them. Give it up, already people.

OK, back to more of Paris's drunken crying.

At the top right, it says "a real life murder by John Grisham" WHO DID THEY MURDER???

aside from that, baby has LOTS of hair, looks too big for her age, and that is definitely photoshop/cgi.

Katie - don't like sites like this one? Blame that ass of a husband, honey...

It might be more believable if they hadn't spent THREE DAYS photoshopping it to the Cruiser's satisfaction. BRITNEY'S photoshoppers probably don't take that long. In other words, she could be the ugliest kid in the world and we won't know until we get unretouched pics.

And as much as they try, that is not a four-month old -- way too big, way too focused-looking. They're careful to hide her body with odd angles and jackets, but it's obvious that child is WAY too old. Look at Gwen Stefani's son -- supposedly he's only a month younger, but he is much smaller and much more newborn-looking.

Either she was taken from some pitiful Sea Org person, or she was born WAY too early for Tom's liking, hence this ridiculous farce.

Doesn't look anything like Tom either. Ever seen Katie's ex Chris Klein? He has the exact same eyes as that child, and a sort of similar look as well. Too bad the hair is dyed (same drugstore as Britney?). As with the body size, they appear to be careful to make sure that none of their faces are fully seen at the same time as Suri's.

Hey, superfish -- why the sudden fawning adoration for Suri, and the willingness to believe that she has any of the Cruiser's DNA? Have you converted to Scientology, or havethey just threatened to make you sleep with the Albadorian eels if you don't?

And why are there people who are suddenly believing that they are for real, and that if Suri exists in any capacity whether adopted/deformed/CGI, then she MUST be Tom's daughter? I gave the human race more credit!

Of course she's beautiful, do you think TC would buy an ugly baby? It still took three days of photoshopping and a world famous photographer to rip off Linda McCartneys photo of Paul and daughter Mary and toss in a couple of blurry face pics. Anyone who thinks that's TC's baby is retarded. TCLTC.

OMG! She is soooo cute! I want her!!!! :-(

http://www.cole-sprouse.info/

She is beautiful. Her dad however could use some serious therapy... too bad he is so against psychology, out of most celebrities he could use a healthy dose.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

By the way, one definitely fishy item is the fact that the baby's hair changes in the pics -- in one it's short and spiky, and long in the cover.

She lookes like Katie but has his eyes.

She looks so old.. But she has te droopy eyes of Kate.
I still think something smells fishy.

Oh, #32, STFU. Honestly. My kids were that size. And had smooth skin.

Cute baby. Glad to see them smiling. Baby looks JUST like Katie.

Way to go, Superfish guys on saying what a great looking baby it was. :D That's class.

~ Mo

Katie- the reason people say things about you and your family is because your cultist fiance is the most out of touch, over rated,obnoxious short dicked man ever to crawl out of obscurity and settle into la la land.
Most artists are whacked- thats why they are artists and not school teachers or doctors.
Most of them have the common sense to die of drug overdoses early, or take up hopeless causes to keep their hands busy.
Thank you Bono- that stamping out poverty thing was fun- but your lad goes around telling people depression can be solved by taking vitamins.
That radio waves solve dyslexia, and that we are descendants of an alien race that came to earth as a colony after major galactic wars.
See where we are going with this one?
He is a fucktard- I don't even care if he IS really gay (and I think he probably is or was at some point).
Loads of actors are stupid.
Yours just gets a lot of press, and since he sacked his publicist a year ago, the filter between 'TOM CRUISE -MOVIE STAR' and 'TOM CRUISE- ME HAVE CLEVER THINKING ME WANT TO SHARE' has gone away.
And it has hurt him, and it makes us want to hurt him, and sadly, that will hurt you too.
Sorry sweety....go to your room,have a little think- and then run for the fucking hills.

Maybe they did 3 days photoshoppin' on Kate, to work away the drugged out look she has these days...

man poor baby. she's cute but right now tom and kate with no "i" thanks to mr cruise..think that she was born with like aliens in her body and now she has to do the 10 steps throughout her life to get rid of those aliens since thats what these psycho scientologists believe in...even john travolta believes in this stuff thats why hes a freakin weirdo too. whats wrong with these ppl and i used to think katie was cute but now she bought into that whole deal and these people are just sick and disgusting and i feel really bad for that poor kid. too bad brangelina didnt have a boy or else these 2 could get together one day and have an unhappy celebrity marriage with PSYCHO abnormal beliefs. somebody needs to kidnap tom and take him somewhere where he can get purified of his weirdo beliefs and finally come back to planet earth...i think that war of the worlds thing got too much into his head. strangeeee people. oh well they'll get a divorce soon since hes more like katies father and then the poor kid will rebel and be a heroin addict like what nicole richie did. good luck to them all!

I think that the kid's already had plastic surgery...

Oh wow. What a cute lil spawn... after they shaved her face and such.

That kid is absolutely adorable. And just so you know, I work with babies. I'm a baby portrait photographer. That kid is 4 months old. I've seen bigger kids who were younger. And I'm not lying.

Hard to believe that TC could have such a cute kid though...

#22--that's hysterical. What's going on with this site anyway? Superfish has gone soft.

I actually find the baby-thing to be rather frightening, in a 'The Grudge' kind of way.

Cute...? I'm guessing Mr Superfish hasn't seen many babies. That's not cute, it's made of wax and marbles.

Fair play to them. Tom Cruise has super sperm, nowt wrong with that.

She's a really beautiful baby. Tom's still a dick, and Katie's still brainwashed, but little Suri is gorgeous. That hair! Awwwwww.

See what happens when you sell your soul to Xenu?

"Afraid of having ugly babies? Convert to Scientology!"

You're all a bunch of followers. You all want to kiss the SF guy's ass. Pussies.

That folks, is not a baby. That's what we in the scientific world refer to as 'the host'. The brood shall emerge like a moth from a cocoon soon enough. I mean, the 'baby' looks cute and all, but I'd better see DNA evidence before I jump on the 'it really is human' bandwagon. If I photoshopped tits on my hairy chest half of you would foolishly yank your wankers thinking I was a Scores stripper. So easily led...

TCLTC

That's amazing that they could bleach that little Guatamalean kid's skin to make it so fair!!! And at such a young age, too!

Cute kid. Start saving for therapy now. She's gonna need it.

And that ain't their kid.

Is the Superficial on e? What's with the love?

I've got a bad taste in my mouth. Can we move on to Blohan's Venetian Cameltoe now?

i second jrzmommy. that is SOO not their kid. it looks way too ethnic to have come from these two white toast whiteys. and neither katie nor tom have crazy blue eyes like that. SHAM!

Wtf dude get off the kids dick and say something mean already

Come on, Katie, be nice! I mean when you have a man who is hopping on couches, bad-mouthing Brooke Shields, and disrupting South Park, people are gonna talk.

If Tom would have stopped acting like a Scientology tool, and you guys did this Vanity Fair thing in the first place, sites like this would only focus on Paris Hilton (again)and Lindsay Lohan (again!)...

For a different variety of Hollywood stuff, check out this site...

http://www.blackbeatpress.com

She is adorable!

Damn that cute baby. I really wanted her to have a deformity or something because that would have explained her not being seen until now, but alas she is beautiful with SUCH dark hair

totally adopted. it took four months to get the paperwork done.

or... sperm donor. anyway, didn't tom and nicole kidman adopt their kids? i don't think he's capable of reproducing. (at least i hope not.) 18 years from now, we'll finally see the results from the paternity test on dateline.

Who else thinks Angelina Jolie had a hand in procuring this child?

wow. for an alien she is kinda cute.
dammit.

now I know that the new superficial wtiter is a chick. The strained penis jokes a la the old superficial guy, the fucking hags from desperate housecunts gawking at us every week... all the signs were there... now you're getting all wimpy over a fucking baby?
I want the guy back... his penis jokes were way better.

And what's with the fucking altoids????

wtiter? what is that? surely I meant writer. But I did get to throw a tit in there.

She looks like Katie.

Just because her eyes are not like Tom's doesn't mean he's not the father. I know of people with blue eyes whose kids have brown eyes. Genes are not only from the parents, but from grandparents, great grandparents, etc. I don't think Suri is asian or anything like that. All the people who are saying that are gonna take their words back as she gets older.

beautiful? are you fucking kidding me? this kid looks like a fucking alien, um and asian, and that's after 72 hours of retouching, damn. it's face is ugly, and weird...look at it on the cover, i think it looks like one of those extraterrestrial squid!!http://xs206.xs.to/xs206/06363/09.jpg ahhhh! if your kid is so fantastic, then why not release some real life family candid shots? yeah, see...
you know tom cruise agreed with vanity fair as long as they make his baby look like the most goregous baby in all the land...hahahahahahaa.
the eyes look like a radioactive ocean, yep, retouching.
and if you happen to think that this kid is cute, then just remember, that babies/children who are very "beautiful" ha, sorry, grow up to be not so good looking. it's a survival mechanism. besides, katie's not good looking, and tom cruise looks arab.
what the fuck is with people turning to idiot mush when seeing babies, we should be shunning them, because of overpopulation and global warming and pollution.
sorry superfical, you have failed miserably on this one, and you deserve a whipping, so i had to set it right.

#63-64 - Strangely, just logging into Supertitial today made me feel mintity fresh. I'll try and insert 'tit' as many times as possible as a show of solidartity.

I'm sorry my grandson was born April 20th and he is not nearly as advanced as this child appears to be, he can't hold his back straight for long periods of time, his head is still kinda droopy. Suri appears to be about 6 months old, and her eyes do have an asian slant to them.

The baby IS pretty cute. And I think it totally looks like Tom and Katie's baby. And really, celebs can't even take a shit without people hearing about it, do you really think this isn't their baby? Or they faked a birth after Suri was already born? Or that velcro is alien technology?

I hate it how when a celeb is about to say something very serious and then totally disappoints you at the end of the sentence...

Example:

Holmes explains that the gossip "eats away at me because it's just not O.K.,"

"it's just not O.K"????

Is that all you can say? I love it how celebs are just so O.K. with their language skills...

so the Surigate conspiracy has been solved. Turns out Tom was Deep Throat.

Must.....purchase.....Altoids.....

I have a hard time talking shit on a baby...babies can't choose their parents--and I don't know any baby in their right mind who would choose these two enormous mirror-kissing fucktards as parents.

And I'd never wish anything hideous on a child, either... Except for this one little fucker that tried most unsuccessfully to exclude my little boy from the group of kids playing the other day ....but that little faggot is my one and only exception.

I save my venom for the jerk-off parents.

tit

alright, this is getting painful. all you losers who have nothing to do but bitch and regurgitate how soft sf guy and others are getting need to shut the hell up and take it out on the baby or something. it's his fucking site, he can do what the fuck he wants. you want hardcore ridicule, there are other blogs for that! you do your job and make with the amateur comedy! seeing 50 post about what's wrong with sf guy is not fucking funny; your theory on what's up with suri is.

dude, that baby is like AT LEAST 7 months old. and that hair cant be real. its one scary ass looking baby. even if it IS related to tom, its a freaking case of insemination.

Well, now we know why it took so long for us to finally see her....they were waiting on the overseas adoption agency to come through with their Chinese baby. And just why did the photo need to be photoshopped, Tom...hmmm? He's such a joke.

http://eatliver.com/celebrities-kids/tom-cruise.jpg

Check out this kid-pic of TC.
THOSE ARE SURI'S EYES.

Katie was an ugly little brat:
http://www.starswelove.com/vt/1157557996/hollywood/child/child008z.jpg

That baby looks so much like Chris Klein it's not even funny.

That baby does look like Tom and it is cute. She'll be gorgeous. I'm not ragging on a baby. I'll save it for her freakshow of a father.

I think it would look better with a little Hitler mustache. I mean, doesn't everything???

Two words for you, BABY TOUPEES:

http://www.babytoupee.com/

don't be haters, people. if her daddy is a crazy psycho maniac, it's not her fault. and she is absolutely gorgeous!

Ugh. That baby is cute. Whether sprung from the loins of short-stack and his zombie bride or ordered from Asian Kidz R Us, it's adorable. I feel bad for her because her life is going to be nothing but hell with those two clueless ass-clowns for "parents." With all the hoopla over this kid, I wonder how his other kids feel? He wasn't jumping on couches over them or parading them on a Vanity Fair cover. In about ten years, I see an expose book from Connor or Isabella. "Our Sister is Adorable; We Suck. Then Again, So Does Dad - TCLTC!"

http://www.babytoupee.com/

my husband had a head full of hair when he was born. when he was 3 months old, he was a lot bigger than suri.

she has katie's droopy eyes. I don't understand why people are so mean to a BABY.

TCLA(sian)C!

Am I the only one who thinks it's odd that the baby looks 6 months old? The pictures were supposedly taken almost two months ago, which would have made that kid 2-3 months old at the time of the picture.
Don't get me wrong, the baby is stunningly gorgeous. But, what's with the timing, hiding, and obvious lie about the baby's age? Beautiful baby, suspicious parents.
Oh yeah, TCLTC.

May I suggest "Sukiyaki" as a name for her future brother.

@ 71 - maybe the baby had a Surigate father...

What's the deal with the annoying Altoids ad?

has she slurrrrp a fly in mid air yet, just like her father, the zerg overlord.

Absolutely titillating.

Damn it can't be true! She's adorable! Freaking A!

she is pretty cute, she looks a lot like katIE.

Hahahah that kid is absolutely beautiful!

YAWN. so, clearly they did what every other celebrity douchebag has done and adopted an asian kid. whatever

UPDATE. The photos were shot in July. Suri was supposedly born April 18. That would make her 3 months old TOPS in this picture. Sorry, but my ass. My 2nd was born with a full head of hair but it did not get that long until 6 months. Additionally, that baby just looks too damn old to be 3 months.

Loving the touchups too... Go photoshop!

She's cute. Here I thought they were keeping her a secret because she was a demon child. Wasn't she born on 6/6/06?

The baby could EASILY be 4 months old. My middle kid was sitting in the floor and playing ALONE(no support) with toys at 3 and a half months. My oldest was 7 months before he could sit up with help. Kids are all different. I admit, the kid looks like she has a baby wig. But I have seen kids with that kinda hair.

Too bad such a cute baby has to have Tom and KatIe for a father, dang, what a waste!

I can't tell if the kid has blue eyes, or if that's a second set of eyelids.

The cover shot is a photo of Tom actually smuggling the child out of Shanghai

That is one sexy baby. Imagine how big her bush is gonna be...

oh please. my siblings and i were all 10 lbs. at birth and came out with full heads of hair. now we're all tall and thin. if suri is big for 4 months old, it's because she's eating and likely sleeping a lot; i doubt tom and katie are upset about that.

i think tom's recent antics are deplorable, but you can't deny that suri is gorgeous. most babies still look like molerats at 4 months.

Holy fuck.

That is a cute kid.

Anyone else eating their words right about now?

#74 - nobody cares what you have to say so shut the fuck up & eat a TIT!

The baby is cute, but I'm so sick of Tom and his media stunts. I don't care if that is the biological child of Tom and Katie, if she was created in a lab, or if she was "born" straight from Xenu himself, I'm digusted how he does this shit to create media hoopla. You know he's sitting in his underground lair where he communicates with the aliens cackling and rubbing his hands together saying "who's talking about Shiloh NOW?! *insert psycho laugh here*"

That kid is totally wearing a wig. You can see her real hair, which is much thinner and lighter brown, peeking out at the hairline.

#104 - I'll start eating my words when TC stops eating the cock.

I wouldn't say the kid is beautitful, just cute... only my kid is the most adorable fucking kid on the planetit. I still say the seventh sign... that's right watch out for the fucking horsemen.

ok, she IS fucking adorable. and she DOES look like them, and she DOES look like she is 3 or 4 mos. old. (btw, if you have a child that age who can't hold their head up and look at you, its probably got some issues)

it doesn't mean we can't still pick on the tomster, people!

Cute, yes, but gorgeous, beautiful? I don't see anything extraordinary about the baby. And if Tom really is her father, I'm guessing in vitro fertilization. He saves the love for men.

My mom held our kitten like that when I was 5 or something. We found it under a bush. I wouldn't say it's normal to wrap a baby in a jacket... but maybe they found it under a bush too, ha ha.

She's so cute! That turkey baster did a good job!

i haven't checked to see if anyone's already posted this, since 100+ comments on this subject would likely melt my brain - but here's an untouched pic from the photo session that produced the vanity fair cover, courtesy of gawker.com

http://www.gawker.com/assets/resources/2006/09/suricruises.jpg

that baby looks nothing like either alleged parent - doesn't look like a girl - looks like she/he was adopted from an Inuit family in Canada.

I think "she" looks like Pubert Addams.

http://www.addamsfamily.com/addams/pubert1.jpg

No offense, but she's really not that cute...

That kid looks like Dustin Hoffman.

Fuck THIS you stoopid bitches....

It is a turkey basted baby...and as if you are all fawning and cooing over this nut case and his beard.

TCLTC.....we got the bastard to apologise to Brooke Shields well his popularity was sucking...HE NEEDED TO BRING OUT THE ALIEN SPAWN for a shot of popularity....

I will NEVER fall pray to this scam. After the shoot. Katie went and popped some pills.

http://www.perezhilton.com/index.php?page=4

P.S. Plus neither Katie or TC DOES NOT HAVE BROWN HAIR...it's dyed

This has IT SUCKS written all over it...and to Dead Eyes Holmes....whaaaaaaaaa....boo frickity hoo....you MSUT love the assless chaps.

Down's Syndrome?

You people are such fucking sheep, parroting whatever the Superficial guy says. "Ohhh, the baby is so cute." Whatever --- it's a 10 pound shitting blob. If the Superfish had said the baby looks like a mongoloid freak you'd all be saying that.

Hey, why is this site suddenly so soft? Did the Scientologists make some threats or something?

And you, Skip, are a 200 lb. blob of shit.

#119 - And yet you decided to read every comment apparently... Skip on my nuts. The fish guy forgot to tell me to say that...

Look at all these retards jumping to defend an overhyped celebrity baby. Why don't you download a picture of that squealing sack of shit and pin it up next to your puppies and kittens calendar? Then you can masturbate to all the cuteness.

Hey, Skip, did it ever occur to you that it's pretty much fucked up to talk shit on a baby? It's a baby. The parents are fair game, but you have to have major fucking problems to say nasty things about a baby.

Then again, you also suggested for people to masturbate to an image of a baby, which leads me to believe you're a) a complete abomination, like John Michael Karr; b) a really ignorant, stupid fuck; c) a yet-to-be-discovered-piece-of-shit-pedophile-child-murderer. Whatever the case, take a fucking hike, jerkoff.

Looks like Katie was getting a little yellow on the side, nemeaaaan.

Come on, the baby's darling. She looks like Katie. Also, for everyone doubting her abilities for a three-month old, perhaps you shouldn't compare infants to each other -- mine held his head up easily at six weeks. Get a grip. She's cute, she's real, get over it.

My child was the Junior Olympic Gold Medal winner in platform diving at age 3 weeks...every child is different, they all grow at their own pace!!

#123 - I'd go for (d) all of the above. Now there are some babies that are just fucking atrocious looking, the kind that could scare the ugly right off of Paris Hilton (the facial ugly, not the porkchop boyfriend). Something tells me Skip was one such baby, a horrid manifestation of mitochondrial mayhem forever imprisoned in a hideously ghastly shell of a 'man'. That or a disgruntled scientologist.

My son drove me home from the hospital, just a few days after his c-section delivery.

Different indeed!

All these baby-worshipping comments pretty much confirm what I suspected. The majority of people who post on this site are actually overweight housewives who whoship celebrities. The only celebrities these people will attack are thin female celebrities --- they do this in order to feel better about the fact that they're ugly and their husbands won't touch them any more.

It's a celebrity baby. Fair game. Now print out a picture of little Suri and rub it against your crotch, you pathetic celebrity worshippers.

Actually, she is cute, but she has the same droopy, sad eyes as Katie.

Now it's time for a real celebrity baby story. Like Maddox dropped his kid sister out of a three story window into the lap pool because she's the "interloper" and Zahara is peddling crack and selling her mommy's valuables to fuel her E-Bay addiction.

My brother's kid still hasn' really mastered walking or even holding his head up yet, but he's only 17 so we're hoping he'll come around soon.

I work, skumbag skip. And I'm FAR from overweight and ugly -- my gorgeous husband can't keep his hands off of me. I've never "whoshipped" another person in my entire life, dead or alive. It's time for you to go lick razor blades.

Commish--my son delivered himself via C-section!!!

jrzmommy:

My son would have delivered himself, however, he was in the middle of a video conference and doing some day trading at the same time.

Skip woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Or, his overweight housewife mate didn't jack him off this morning.

@132. Of everything you said, I find the comment about your son delivering himself by C-section the most believable.

commish: skip just realized that Katie Holmes wasn't really speaking to him from inside the TV so he's a little bitter.

Oh, and by the way, Commish, if you need a good pediatrician, my daughter is accepting new patients -- and she's only 6!!!

I'd hit that.

Thought this was f'in hilarious!!!

http://13tongimp.com/whore/index.php/archive/our-alien-overlord/

My neice is turning 2 next month, and she doesn't have half as much hair....

But Suri is an adorable baby. But I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought she looked Asian at first. But looking at Katie's eyes on the magazine cover, they do look alike. And she does look like Tom.

I'm going to shut up about these two. I don't like Scientology and I feel sorry for this poor baby being brought into such a cult, but she's cute. So darned cute.

jrzmommy:

My son "whoships" Zenu, therefore is never ill; but thanks for the referral.

I'll be busy for a few minutes masturbating to the image of an overweight housewife. When I'm done, I'm running to the mall to buy myself a "right hand ring" and stare longingly at the cute couples and wish I were attractive enough to "get a man".

@137

Oh my! I nearly shrieked out loud.

Wow.

This thread has devolved into fat ladies talking about their kids. Fucking fantastic.

No Skumbag Skip, we've decided to annoy you until you just leave.

Commish: see ya at "Curves!!"

Good luck with that, fatty.

I don't consider 112 lbs on a 5'3" frame fat. But I do think you're a troll looking for attention. We have ways of dealing with creeps like you. Ask DanYELL....

Giving me your measurements --- fucking pathetic. This site is turning into a lame-ass support group for neglected fat chicks.

And Suri has a pig nose.

#137 HAHAHAHAHA

I'm amazed Kat?e can't understand that people wondered why they were hiding the kid.
Hello! After spending the previous 9 months making complete fools of themselves (O.K. him mainly) - jumping on couches, claiming to be an expert on psychiatry and making out on every red carpet they landed on - they suddenly disappear.
Gee, I wonder why everyone was curious?

Skip is a turd. A gay turd. Skip is a "gay" name, isn't it? Skip is just bitchy because she didn't get her dick sucked this morning.

I bet jrzmommy's six year old could kick Skip's gay ass! I'll put a Ben on it.

I JERKED OFF IN YOUR BABY'S LIBTARD FORMULA.

Cyber-arguments make me horny.

Skumbag Skip is mad because he didn't get the lunch period his friends did this year in middle school.

Oh, my God, people, are you all blinded by some kind of L. Ron Hubbard mind meld?? I think the baby is one of the weirdest looking children I've ever seen. She literally doesn't look real -- the hair, the eyes, and the shape of the head are just bizarre.

Her eyes are dazzling. This is the cutest baby ever, Brangelina has lost already.

SAVE SURI CRUISE!

I'm with you twzzlrgirl, I'm waiting for her to catch a fly in mid air with her tongue.

The kids beautiful. I think all the anger and whining leftover here are from folks unable to swallow that crow they're eatin.

>>"Oh, my God, people, are you all blinded by some kind of L. Ron Hubbard mind meld?? I think the baby is one of the weirdest looking children I've ever seen. She literally doesn't look real -- the hair, the eyes, and the shape of the head are just bizarre."

THANK YOU. And don't forget that weird pig nose. I think the Scientologists sent a few people to this site to spam it with "Suri is so cute" propaganda.

We now return you to the celebrity knob-gobbling fest.

It's hard to swallow crow when your throat's all stopped up with baby jizz.

#154, which kid are you referring to, Tom or Kate, and for the record they're not beautiful.

Verdaderamente preciosa ^^

beautiful :D

#155 - You are so right on. All the pre-clear or whatever they are called, low level Scientologist cultists received their marching orders and have descended on the internet to squash popular belief and common perception....

FU SCIENTOLOGISTS! XENU RULES. LONG LIVE THE FIGHTERS FOR XENU!!!!

OH, and TCLTC so deal with it you xenu-phobes....

oh that baby is beautiful she has her fathers eyes....they look just like L.Ron Hubbard's.

Still looks like that Damien baby from "The Omen"
better check for the 666

#66! ha! what did i say! and it turns out i was right..just look at the untouched photos of the fucking ugly eskimo kid!
http://www.gawker.com/assets/resources/2006/09/suricruises.jpg
and mommies and their dumb babies, in particular unattractive mommies make me want to drop kick them in the face, especially when they start talking about their stupid, ugly, annoying, sticky little kids.
shut the fuck up.
p.s. 5'9"-5'-10" at 112lbs is thin, at 5'3" you're a fat midget, we can't see you when we walk. you don't exist.

20 - I agree the kid looks too big for 4 months old. Definitely a black market baby.

http://www.mythmongery.com/images/0,1020,487745,00.jpg
I think the baby looks a whole lot like him...I think what they did was they utilized Ron Hubbard's frozen sperm stored in the Los Angeles Scientology center and used it on Katie. That's why she is kept uder lock and key to make sure it never gets out.

That Baby is too old to be the age they say. It's too attentive.
(I say "It" because I think if not the anti-christ, then it is an alien!)

They put a wig on a fucking Chinese Mr. Potato Head, but the dumbasses forgot the damn eyelashes! Ha

hopeless

The baby is beautiful. I had myself almost convinced that she was actually born 6 weeks earlier than they claimed, either to coincide with the movie opening or because shes not Toms. I did a Google image search for the words 3 months and found that she very well could have been 3.5 months in those pictures. I thought she looked older, even without the hair but, a lot of the pictures I found were similar. I guess I will have to accept the fact that not only is the baby adorable, I cant find any fault in anything. :)

From what Katie's blabbing, it's obvious she isn't a victim (ala Run Poor Katie, Run) in any of this.

This was a business transaction, and she got a kid out of the deal. And, for a lot of money, she'll let that kid be brought up as a Scientology freako in a pretend relationship.

Too bad the kid's mom is a greedy little sellout. It's a cute kid, but so are lots of other people's. But lots of other people don't sell their kids' future for a few million dollars like "poor" little Katie.

Anyone who has seen the actual pics from the amg will agree with me. - BARF - Talk about POSING.... These people make me sick with their pretense.... poor petri dish baby... It never had a chance....

Am I the only one who thinks the cover shot is kinda creepy. The baby looks almost a little too much like Tom Cruise. I mean look at a few times, like really look at it and you'll see what I'm talking about.

The other pic with Katie Holmes kissing her is not creepy, the baby looks really cute in that one.

to all of those people who said she was an alien, here's a little word called burn. anywho, she's adorable but looks kinda like a boy in the last picture. and i was just listening to the radio and they said it took like 20 days to airbrush it and all. it kinda makes me think....but they did a heck of a job

when suri grows up. she will probably be hot.

that kid looks Asian.

#113 / katgyrl - The eyes in that pic are so obviously photoshopped it's not even funny.

Are you people freaking kidding me? She is gorgeous, and NOT to old looking to be a 4 month old. I think she looks right on schedule. AND my daughter had that much hair WHEN SHE WAS BORN. Some days it sticks up, others it lays down.

Also, a bit of info for you. All babys are born with blue or black eyes. Those arent photoshopped. By the time she is one years old, her eye color will be the color it will be for the rest of her life.

Are you kidding me? She is gorgeous and looks just like Katie. She is not to "old looking" for 4 months old. I think she looks right on schedule. And big deal if she has alot of hair? My daughter had that much hair WHEN SHE WAS BORN. Some days its spikey, some days it lays down. And to all you haters, get over it. Even though they are celebrities they are still just human beings like all of us. I wish them the best.

OH, and FYI again, my daughter was able to hold her head up by around 2 months and as far as the asian thing goes, I have been asked if I was asian before because I have an ethnic look. And my parents are both caucasian. I've even been told i look like katie holmes. i know for a fact this is her child... as far as tom goes though.. i dunno.

39. You'd be more convincing if other sites weren't being spammed by Scienobots saying the exact same thing. Given the number of posts claiming "myyyyyyyyy kid was that size when she was BORN!" you'd think the national standards would change.

Get a clue. She's not just big and hairy, but she's propping herself up on her arms and staring around, as well as having the focused look of a ten-month-old. I saw at least three ten-month-olds TODAY ALONE who looked the same age.

I've checked out all the pics online, and the more I look at them, the less natural the kid looks -- it's like looking at a "Final Fantasy" facsimile of a baby. It may have all the parts, it may be perfectly proportioned, but it still looks like an oversmooth, doll-faced robot. She reminds me of the Sun-Maid Raisin Girl.

And they do try too hard to make her look like Tom. Sooooo desperate to not make her look like Josh Harnett or Chris Klein, both of whom have almond eyes, and both of whom Katie shagged shortly before taking up with Tom.

And Katie is officially a stupid bitch after seeing that interview. She tries to lay a guilt trip, but frankly I don't give a damn if we hurt her feelings or Tom's. She's also become a full fledged Scienobot -- she's saying people "can't" say this stuff about Suri. Can't? We can say you kidnapped Shiloh and dyed her hair, Katie. The Scienobots may act like you're a goddess, but nobody else thinks so -- so don't bother telling anyone.

I can't wait for Andrew Morton's book on these two. They'll deny everything, whine about how mean everyone is to them, and nobody will care.

By the way, there are biracial white-Asian people who look LESS Asian than Suri, like Rachael Yamagata. One current theory is that she does have Down Syndrome, and that's what the photoshopping was for.

thesarahficial, I've been reading that for weeks -- and it makes you wonder. Regular airbrushing for things like zits, cellulite and wrinkles don't take even a fraction of the time -- I'm not sure how long Britney's nude photoshoot would take, and you know she had EVERYTHING changed. 20 days? Hmmmmmm...

Eyes too far apart on poor Suri. And she is absolutely not the child of Katie "I'm mediocre as fuck" Holmes and Tom Cruise. Her eyes are chinese like yao ming. Poor kid is fucked.

Jrz -

Skip's the kinda guy with an alphabetized collection of TC movies on an expensive, well-polished, antique Victorian book shelf, kept dust and static free in protective plastic sleeves. Torn magazine and newspaper clippings cover his walls in a seemingly random, yet oddly homoerotic, fashion. Messages of love adorn the collage, forming sentences pieced together with cut-out letters of varing size, font, and case.

Much like Eminem's "Stan", Skip had a similarly disappointing encounter with his idol, whom he ran in to at a bookstore. TC, wearing a black t shirt with the letters "ILTC" emblazoned on the front, offered him literature on the best (cough) aspects of Scientology. Skip became enraged, tearing off his genuine replica limited edition Top Gun "Maverick" flight jacket. He felt betrayed, thinking "Why can't TC's religion just be ME... hand in hand, bashful eyes playfully flirting?" Upon hearing rumors, once thought impossible, that TC actually procreated, he decided to attack anything that decided to cut the poor kid some slack and call it cute. Entitled to his opinion, he lashed out, finding himself in over his head, much like TC juuuuust when he's about to LTC.

Either that or this was the dude that was fucking damnYELL and he's come to defend her honor.

Look everyone, the Scientology bots are writing creepy essays to me now! On the bright side, every post that obsesses over me is one less post trying to convince us that that retarded Inuit midget is "cute." That kid looks like Bjork after huffing ether.

skumbag skip and shameshame have their own little support group for bitter ugly outcasts.

182 - Skip

I totally agree....we have spies among us and I refuse to fall prey the "Poor Me" scenario that Katie Dead-Eyes is trying to pull off...

179 - ffordegroupie - Thnak you - Yes, the Andrew Morton Book is very interesting...makes one wonder WHY TC is trying desperately to clean up house...Mmmmmmmm....me is wondering about this!!

and finally...

TCLTC.....come on people...you are SO totally losing your edge...you should all slap yourselves upside your own heads!!! damn

TCLTC and the kid shouldn't be off limits, I agree with that. Just like the fucked up comments about the Crikey dude were to be expected. It just seems Skippy has an issue with sado-masochistic pedophilia that needs to be humorously addressed. Far from falling for the BS from TC and his brainwashed 'wife', I think the smoochfest this alien baby is getting is comical, but in no means should be used to impugn anyone's dedication to exposing TC doing face plants on throbbing veiny trouser snakes. I'll agree with Skippy that I fucking hate Eskimos too, but that's about as far as I'll go.

Totally Asian.

People - she may look the right age for a 3-4 month year old (the age she is NOW) but according to Vanity Fair the pics were taken in JULY, meaning she would have been younger then. I'm just saying...

http://www.katieholmespictures.com/gallery/thumbnails.php?album=1092

found these on the katie holmes website. Notice there is only one pic of her entire body and her feet are covered with socks. Interesting.

Suri - The Teenage Years...

SURI: "But dad, I want to go out with Finnious Roberts. Why can't I do that?"

TOM: "Suri, your glib. You don't know dating teenage boys. I do..."

Oh. My. God. I don't give a heeeellll about Tom Cruise's strange behaviour any more. Even if Suri isn't their baby (which is neither here nor there) she is just too damn CUTE to be hated!

Anyone that's bashing this baby is a moron, Suri is adorable.

Do you think Suri will ever get in trouble for jumping up and down on the couch? LOL

Maybe Tom adopted her from a lef tover pool of kids from Angelina's kid farm.....

Cute kid. Definately an Asian tilt to the look of it tho. Give it til Xmas to see if things improve.

#189

LOL! I spit my drink all over the comp laughing.

I have to agree with a lot of people, Tom took so long to show off Suri cause he had to wait for a cute baby to be available on the baby market. I think that kid is all that cute and the pics looked waaaaaaay photoshoped. There's no way Tom could have fathered a child, unless it was with a turkety baster.

http://entertainment.sympatico.msn.ca/movies/articles/1385500.armx

They are SO watching us!!!!

and with a rebel yell....I declare

TCLTC!!

No, no, no. Some of you guys don't realize that the hair is a toupee, do you? Well check this out http://www.babytoupee.com
They don't have the Suri model up there yet, so you might have to wait a while to put one on your chihuahua and have your own little suri.

ok; she looks total asian but very adorable! i feel bad for her that her father is a phyco path and is a totally gay freak. but atleast she has a good mother.

this baby is ugly. are women posting on here or something? ugly. not all babies are cute, this one especially.

Ugh you're all psychos, sad pathetic asses, making fun of a BABY..what is wrong with you miserable people? The sad thing is deep down you probably think shes cute, but are just to angry and spiteful to admit it. Who the hell are you people to sit behind a screen a judge.... I guess the truth hurts, huh.

And yeah, I'm right.

Ugh you're all psychos, sad pathetic asses, making fun of a BABY..what is wrong with you miserable people? The sad thing is deep down you probably think shes cute, but are just to angry and spiteful to admit it. Who the hell are you people to sit behind a screen a judge.... I guess the truth hurts, huh.

And yeah, I'm right.

AND he sent, sorry "sent" flowers to Rosie for her "The View" debut. Massive damag control.
Except we are finished with you, Tom.
TCLTC forever, not that there's anything wrong with that, but... oeoooh, he is loathsome.

She's cute, though. Her real father must be thrilled.

(oh, I feel awful)

I don't care what those people say who say "babies can't be beautiful"....she is! She's one of the most adorable babies I've ever seen. Granted most babies are cute, save Sean Preston and his buisness in the front party in the back hairdo, but this one is at the top! And I'm not surprised...Tom Cruise was considered good looking before he turned psycho [now people are too ashamed to admit it, myself being one of those people], and Katie Holmes is as cute as a button!

I'm glad you recognized that this baby is beautiful and didn't post anything like she looked like a gorilla mixed with a toaster.

shes a child, a baby, how can you "adults" sit here and make rude comments about her. society is truly disgusting.

shes a child, a baby, how can you "adults" sit here and make rude comments about her. society is truly disgusting.

Yes Suri is cute, but come on, she looks like Bjorks baby!

I hate TOM since i was a little boy and i hate Katie since Dawson's Creek became Joey's Creek, she's so boring and has so sad stupid face.

Hope can be a better mum than the actress she is.

OH GOD! she is soooooo cute ((:
and yes. she does look like an asian. still, is that a bad thing? i guess not.

she actually looks pretty damn cute