September 25, 2006

Scarlett Johansson is a garbage man

scarlett_johansson_garbage_05.jpg

Scarlett Johansson showed up to the Established & Sons anniversary party on Saturday dressed as a garbage man. Which would've been awesome except that it wasn't a costume party. It's hard to go wrong when you look as good as Scarlett Johansson. Just glue some magnifying lenses to your boobs and the rest of the outfit usually works itself out. Obviously something went very wrong here. I'd venture a guess somebody told her the party was government worker themed, but she doesn't look quite incompetent enough to work at the DMV.

NOTE: This obviously doesn't make any sense because I just said she was dressed as a garbage man, so why would a garbage man be working at the DMV? Clearly I don't even know what I'm typing anymore. Space moon to the rescue!


Previous Entries

» Kevin Federline drops PopoZao
» Aaron Carter chickens out of marriage
» Lindsay Lohan and Harry Morton break up
» Cameron Diaz looks decent in brown
» Barbra Streisand goes braless

Comments

Oh how I would love to sift through her trash.

In what world would Scarlett actually think this looks good?!

Check out smirky-dude behind her in that first shot: " I cannot WAIT to tell Gary about this breeder's oufit".

I had the EXACT same outfit in neon pink in 1984.

"Take out the papers and the trash"
"Then let Stallion put it in your ass"
"When it hurts just scream and yell"
"About the ATM, I'll never tell"

Try this silvery gray outfit, Scarlet, it looks much better on!! (Yeah, on FIRE)

I'd still dive into her dumpster, like a lesbian on crack.

Oh crap where to start....the hideous outfit, the fug shoes, butt-ugly eyeliner and oh yeah, she looks and sounds like a man. What IS the infatuation with this travesty?!

Wow. That is an incredibly unflattering and all around hideous outfit. The gobs of heavy black eyeliner and the skinned back hair aren't helping things either.

I'd still do her.

No, Scarlett, no, what where you thinking?

Stop listening to those stupid, dumbass vapid "designers" who tell you this shit looks hot...

Get a clue, your 15 minutes is nearly up.

Besides the ginormous boobies, I continuously have a hard time trying to figure out why people think this chick is hot. She looks like an pigeon-toed alien with a fat lip.

I rip into trash bags all the time. This one wouldn't be an exception. Growl.

http://wampoon.com

Girl needs to stop rolling the bottom of her pants like the early 80s ...WTF is that ? Can't she just get the designer to hem them to peg leg if that's the look she's going for ?

Her stylist should be buried in sand up to the neck then stoned until dead. Seriously. Go Middle Eastern on her ass.

Looks good to me. I'd hit that so hard there would be aftershocks for weeks. I really love the glossy lips. Mmmmmmm. looks like..

Dear Editor,
Regarding your "Note", I can understand how you may have incorporated DMV in this article...Scarlett clearly looks like a crash test dummy in this outfit. Garbage man by day, dummy by night.


respectfully yours, llllllllll

She looks cute.

And the Fug Girls tear apart in


3


2


1

And there they go...

#8~thank you! i couldn't agree more.
have we all forgotten that butt-ugly nose ring picture of her?!?!

Honestly, who gives a shit what she wears? It will just end up in a big pile at the end of my bed anyway. :) She could wear the hollowed out ass of a Madagascar Lemur as a fucking hat, and I would still hit it like it was the last nonny on the planet.

Scarlett is still smoking hot in this outfit, and she knows it.

SJLT(Ferret)C

Brain/Ninja - what up homeboys? How you livin'?

see what I mean
http://www.fitness.gov/Crash_Test_Dummy.jpg

The problem isn't the grey 'thing'
The problem is the black shirt - it's in the way !

That dude behind her makes Shannon Doherty look positively symmetrical.

Yikes.

You know, you could put her in a trash bag and she would still be hot....

@#25: Exactly!

I *heart* her face! Still gorgeous...

I bet that thing she is wearing is worth more than your weekly salary...

Its made of pure silkiver (silk and silver combined!!)

OK...here's the deal. There is not a straight man on this planet that cares what any woman wears EVER.

Jealous women and gay men are the people who would take time to complain about what somebody is wearing.

Thank you.

And who takes time to complain about what jealous women and gay men complain about? just askin'......

Yea she looks like one those guys from that Men At Work movie, except extremely boneable. Or maybe she looks like she belongs in a Missy Elliot video... either way, I agree with Ferret, the clothes are just there to keep her warm and to save my pants from having my schlong tear violently past my zipper.

And then she rolls the cuffs of her pants. Nice touch.

@29...just li'l bit too close to home. Oui?

I think I just found my Halloween outfit

http://www.celebslam.com

Scarlet is dressed like a garbage man? I'm feeling DIRTY! Time to take out the trash!

Seriously, not the best choice of outfits, but I'd be on her faster than the racoons in the backyard on the remains of last nights dinner. Oh yes, she is hot.

i'd still hit her bouncy fat pooper. pillow talk would be tough - cold eyes, dolphin face, conceited. time to turn her around again...

Celebs think they can wear anything. Who amongst us would wear this without being told they had to or their mother would be shot? And those coveralls are uncomfortable. Anyone who has had to wear one to do some kind of nasty work wouldn't do so in their spare time. Just more women obeying the fashion cult of fags. Trust the judgment of men who hate women.

#28 umm this is the SUPERFICIAL

#28 - Are we not allowed to have opinions that differ from yours? Because I'll tell you right now that you insist you're hetero but I can pretty much assume that you're a polesmoking fag because you used the term "oui".

Not garbage man. That outfit is straight out of the future, man. The future!

To quote my 8 year old when I asked her if she liked my shoes... "Yeah, if you LIKE ugly." I have taught her well.

She looks like my old girlfriend from the mid 80s, and that's just the kind of outfit she would have worn. Hmmmm... I can just smell that 16 yr old pussy.

I can only hope her luggage was lost. But still, there is no excuse for this - except for prison.

#41 ehh uhh emmm...and you are how old R. Kel..I mean Luna?

29- Okay here's the deal....you're a random fuck.

Have I ever told you all how much I dislike the French and all things French?? I may have mentioned it once or twice. But after reading #29, I've discovered something that I hate more than the French. Wanna know what I hate more than the French themselves? Douchebags that wander around and say ridiculous things like Oui at the end of their statements.

HA! Making my self laugh with no glasses today.....me and my astigmatism meant number 28 is the random fuck.....i'm just the blind fuck that types incorrect shit. Indeedikee....it is number 28--and 32 for that matter--who I mean to direct my random fuck comment to.

I just told myself off and now I know just a little how Sarah Jean the Lilac Queen, Star Maker Machinery and the other tools I've interacted with feel. I definately need to be meaner.

#29 - What's with that oui shit? You got a fucking mouse in your pocket? Split perso-fucking-nalities??? Do like the rest of the French fucks do and just surrender before the battle begins. The last two hardcore guys that said 'oui' were that Algerian headbutter and Napolean, and, well, we see what happened to them.

#45 Thanks for clarifying that Jrmommy..I was going back and forth making sure I was seeing the numbers matched up to the name correctly...I was starting to think you were suffering from the same "Sasha" disorder Beyonce is struck with.

Yea, #28... I meant #28 too. French fucks.

One part Oompa Loompa, two parts Hammer time. One + Two = MISTAKE.

#29- YOU'RE A RANDOM FUCK! HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU THAT BEFORE?

hehe

I'm sorry Jrmommy, I just had to do that

I am losing it today, non? Oh, wait, I mean... FUCK!

you mean Oui, jrz... oui. It's the word of the day!

as in fearsarewishes has a "oui" cock.

Oui. Yes. No, you're right I meant oui not non. Wait. FUCKING FRENCH DOUBLE TALKING FRENCH HEADS!

fearsarewishes. assreamingsarefantasies. same thing, right?

FORTZA ITALIA FUCK THE FRENCH

Yes, I am still celebrating our world cup victory!!!!

Fucking headbutting faggots............

oh stallion, the ginzo's are cheaters. your goalie is an assclown.

"I don't want your jersey....but I'll take your sister." Classic. Fucking classic.

#61- The question is, was there an honor killing in the family that day, you know juuuuust in case his sister fucked a gentile?

62--Oui! Dammit. I mean, YES he beat her Algerian ass from here to Mecca and back, that whorin' French slut.

Still mad at me biatcho?

Buffon is a beast, don't understand what you meant by that, Juventus maybe? I mean the so called assclown only let up 2 goals the whole world cup, and 1 was off his teammate................

I'm not gonna argue this, we won, fuck it.........

Scarlett looks great in anything.

Yay, clown-suits are back in!

I don't do drugs, just weed

#40-my 6-year-old trashed me last week, too. I came out, looking fly for a no-kids party and got, "Is that what you're wearing tonight?" Then she tried to save it by adding "Cute!" , but couldn't quite sell it.

*wishes # 28 would eat shit and die*

You could dress her in road kill and I would still tap that ass... and have a nice lunch too!

Stallion when the hell was I ever mad at you?

I hate guineas because of where I grew up plus I'm irish so it's in my blood to hate them. Nothing against you!

I don't do drugs neither, just Oui'd.

She got somethin we call "Property over in Sark" round my way: as in Those eyes are NOT lookin in the same direction!

#72 - Oui'd? HAHAHA!!!! My dear, I'll be figuring out a way to put that little fucking tidbit in a sentence all week. Oh yeah, the French hate us for our freedom.

Garbage man, eh? Does this mean I can put my junk in her trunk? Ass is the new pussy, after all.

I totally have that shirt.

I think it's a *GREAT* outfit, and I'll tell you why.
1. You can sneak behind her, pull the top back and her arms are completely immobilized.
2. The way the shoes are made, you can buckle them together so her legs are immobilized.
3. Those tiny little buttons leading "down there" (smirk, smirk) would be so easy to just off with just a little effort.
4. Errrr, I'll get to you with #4 after I take care of this groin growth that's currently going wild in my pants. I'm comming Scarlett baby (so to speak.

She looks almost as good as Missy Elliott did with her trash bag ensemble in that one music video of her's in the late 90's.

She tried to copy Lil' Kim's look from the VMAs, except she went for gray, 'cause gray is the new black... She's so fucking obvious, with her hands back as if she had handcuffs. COPYCAT!

You guys just aren't used to seeing a celeb covered up. What no nipple or cooch?

She would look good as a frogman :)

--
splayground@dodgeit.com

I don't care what she wears, this chick is hot!

It's hard to tell whether she is looking AT the camera or over it. Though she seems fascinated by whatever it is so that's fine by me.

wheni finally get my first flying scooter im going to pinp that shit out in an outfit just like that

This is actually one of Scarlett's better photos. has no one seen Ghost World, one of her earlier films b4 she discovered the benefits of peroxide and an on hand make-up artist?! she looked more like Jade Goody than Marilyn Monroe in it

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