FIRST.

That's what she gets.

BTW, in that first picture that guy seems to be looking at her and thinking "What the fuck is this bitch wearing."

What Paris doesn't know is that we've secretly replaced her lawyer with a former NFL linebacker. Let's see what happens next.

Paris Hilton is such an idiot. What hast she done? T.V reality show, a book, purfume, movies, a failed misic career, why not add canned wine (very classy paris) and a DUI to her resume. Paris hiton Give it a rest.

Irony defined: Most of the time we look at these jackoff celebs and wonder when they will slip far enough to start doing porn...

I guess the joke is on us... Touche Paris. Touche.

That Paris Porno is what made her famous. I had no idea who Paris Hilton was untill that Porn was released. Right around the same time as she first starred in the Simple life. That porno is what made you Paris. Mayeb you should stick to what your good at. Sucking dink and being a STD infested Whore.

stupid ass server.

WTF is she doing, is she trying to deep throat that straw to get to the strawberry or should I say nutsack.

I acutally woudl like to seem some before and after pictures of paris hilton. You can tell she's had so much plastic surgery, im surprised her own mother can reconize her. Maybe she'll turn out liek Michael Jackson, and her nose will fall off. Bitch will get what she deserves.

Check this URL out.....

http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/paris_hilton_rhino.htm

If she drinks any more of that stuff - she'll probably choke herself on those braids.

Hey Ferret, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Lawrence Taylor (LT) now a minister?

Her face looks like crap. Tons of pimples and warts. Gross.

her ankles look like barbara streisand's tits.

She looks as plastic as a Barbie Doll. And probably a cheap whore, too.

i want to hurt her

http://www.celebslam.com

#6 she is all about the DINK. For sure...

Her Rhinoplasty and other facial changes made tons of difference. However, no make can help with those craters and divots. I step closer to the end we come. One step...

Another post without Paris tears... My day gross darker yet....

I want to hurt her. With my penis. In her vagina.

On a positive note that dress makes her boobs look bigger

#18

be warned her vagina is really a 'venis cock trap', stick it in but you won't stick it out.

I HATE her fucking lazy eye.

The dress makes her boobs look bigger because it's stuffed with material to push them up. Everything below the actual topline of the dress is padding. ALL OF IT

Everything between the pony tails is padding too...

PunjabPete #27... i just fell of my chair laughing. Thankyou.

What's funny is that some Hollywood rehab clinic is trying to get Paris into their program which allows her to continue her drinking and partying.

Here: http://www.ragrap.com

Ugh! Why won't she DIE already??

The German polka band was playing in the background and Stavros came in started to hump the tuba. When asked what the fuck he was doing, he replied that he saw the gaping tuba hole and thought it was Paris' snatch.

He then said he figured out something was wrong because the tuba was kind of tight compared to Paris, and it didn't smell like a can of week-old-tuna fish.

Holy shit. I kid you not, she's wearing the same dress my prom-date wore in 1988. That thieving bitch.

And that is a can of solid gold squawk tightener. Nothing but the best for Paris. Still, I'd bang her like a jackhammer on an El Lay freeway.

Her fake hair looks SO trashy. I mean, it's not HARD to grow hair. Fuck. It's not like getting a PhD in Astrophysics. Just DON'T CUT IT, bitch!

Otherwise, deal with the fact that you have 3"-long ugly lesbian Army hair that's been fried to hell and back. AND brown eyes (not that there's anything wrong w brown eyes, but she always pretends to have blue). AND a big genetic fucking hook nose.

The long fake hair doesn't make you less herpes-ridden or moronic!!!

Paris is a complete waste of carbon.

Congradulations Paris!

This is the 1,000,000th thing you've sucked!

I've wet myself because I can't stop laughing. And those gold gloves...dear GOD.

man, the st. pauli girl has really let herself go.

Main photo: Isn't that Hank Hill?

I'm grooving on the big yoni stapled to her abdomen. Very subtle.

I'm also looking forward to the trial, which should take all of five minutes.

PARIS: Your Honor, I'm like so so sorry. It's just, like, I'm not that smart.

PROSECUTOR: I show you State's proposed exhibit 1. What are these?

PARIS: My douchebag statements on the radio the day after the incident, expressing no remorse at all about what I did and how getting arrested "no big deal" and how unfair it was the press made fun of me.

PROS: And exhibit number 2. What are these?

PARIS: Photos of me getting sloshed in a gold German milkmaid costume.

PROS: The prosecution rests.

"...where people get paid more money to occasionally flash their genitals than to save lives."
I couldn't agree more, while cancer researchers have to beg for money, stars demand £500,00 to endorse water...insane

Canned wine, hahah. How incredibly classy. Ew her face really bothers me.

Is it just me or does the guy on the far right look a lot like Mr. Bean?

It's Maria von Vaginus Cock Trapp!

#7 Now now, we all now she doesn't suck dink (? lol). It's well known that it gives you pimples and facial craters.

Sadly, the death penalty doesn't apply in this case.

It's like the Swiss Miss chick grew up and went to juvee. What the fuck is she wearing?

not exactly a stranger to 'public humiliation' are you paris

....and the strawberry REALLY adds a touch of class.

Why is her left eye always staring at the bridge of her nose? Please literally throw the book at her. It might knock her renegade eye back into place. And we all know DUI stands for Dirty, Ugly, and Infested.

No applause, just throw money... many thanks.

....renegade eye. haha!!

..oh, i see

(now)
to have a lens mounted on your face.

exit now please.

What, is she the fucking new St. Pauli Girl girl?? And why is Geoffrey Rush standing behind her? ACK! I must be hallucinating. Time to up my meds....

Stupid bitch, her nose looked better before she had anything done to it. And what's up with those assinine poses of hers like the "I'm about to trip over my own feet" pose she always does (picture 4). Too bad only the good die young. (In which case we'll be seeing her on that smucker's people over 100 segment that Willard Scott does). How depressing.

wow, super bad pic.

instead of the usual perfection, we see bad skin, acne scarring, colored eye contacts, mis-maintained dye job.

how many of you would still hit that?

...aside from the health risk

Why does she dress for every function like it's a costume ball? The Heidi get-up is fine for five year olds on Halloween, but she looks like a big gold be-pigtailed mistake. And PS, Paris-- Madonna did the look justice many moons ago at the premiere of her Sex book.

In her defense on the outfit--that is some traditional garb or something for the promotion she was doing.

The things that gets me is the whole, "Paris is taking this very, very seriously." about her DUI. I remember after it happened, that human canker sore walking around going, "like, oh my god, it's so not such a big deal, nothing even happened it's so not a problem."

Now that the bitch is getting CHARGED her tune changes.

I loathe that woman.

wow, super bad pic.

instead of the usual perfection, we see bad skin, acne scarring, colored eye contacts, mis-maintained dye job.
oh no not like this=))
in here she is cleraly ;)
www.popstarshow.com

The only thing Paris takes seriously is how to be the center of attention.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com/paris-hilton-video.htm

I do hope gofugyourself.com lends their input on this one.

she should definitely be charged, all right......

by the bulls. in pampolona.

What do you think tastes worse, the canned wine, or Paris's cooch?

I'd have to go with the cooch. Mostly because there have been more people in the cooch than there have been in the store buying the canned wine.

I guess what I am saying here is that she's a canned-wine drinking ho-bag.

If Paris had a brain, I'd like to be the first to knock her nose back into her brain. As she doesn't actually have a brain, knocking her nose back into her skull would have, like, minimal effect you know. It would just make people cry when they heard about it ...

Not like I would anyway ... wine in a can has to be worse than wine in a box ... but just another product never to touch as it has the stench of Paris Hilton associated with it.

Going thru police procedure is disorienting for her?

Hehehe, I say breathing is disorienting for her.

German wine, just in time for Oktoberfest.

Stupid cocksucking whore...she looks like Pippi Longstocking...

Q - What does Paris Hilton put behind her ears to make herself attractive to men?

A - Her ankles...

WOULDN'T IT BE SWEET if the judge gave her the six months to make a total example of her?
I bet there is a whole long list of losers who have done 6 months for a DUI.
And I'm not acting like I've never had a few and drove home, but come on...

I don't peel off in my Porche and laugh and talk on my phone and stick my head out the window and say, "We love the police!"

"You'd think a DUI might affect Paris Hilton's ability to promote canned alcohol, but that would only make sense in a world that isn't completely mad, where people get paid more money to occasionally flash their genitals than to save lives."

Once again, it seems the Super can't be topped, as far as a fine first comment is concerned.

Myself, I was gonna leave a comment in the Screech story, but thought I'd check these crazy pics first. Understand, first, that I'm not proving that I can't resist her. This isn't a case of "no bad publicity," as far as my mindspace is concerned.

Unlike the sheeple, I don't "love to hate her," or believe that she's what others might think of (Mairlyn Monroe, Raquel Welch, Sophia Loren) as a star. At the Super, we see these people for what they really are. Here, I can look at a pic of this dumb, untalented zillionaire.

Wanna know what my comment for the Screech story was gonna be?

"Gosh, I wonder why the Arab countries hate us?"

But then I went here. Think I'll leave it here, and explain myself, and explain it all for the casual surfers, too.

Thing is, most Americans would refuse this bitch, too, if they had the choice. Before you had her shoved in your face (figuratively, now) if someone had asked, "Are you interested in somebody who has no interest in you, who has no talent, who never had to work, and will buy more real esate for you to rent, and will get richer by doing nothing?"

You'd say, "fuck off," and "Hell, no!"

But the mainstream media is very powrful. Don't doubt it for a moment–it hypnotizes people, and does a fine job of it.

The few who own all the tv, radio, and print media love a creep like Paris. All she is, is somebody who wants to be famous. She's already rich, she already doesn't have to work, she already has it all, but she wants to be worshipped, too, so she took her money and connections and plastic surgery and got on TV. And TV is for the well-connected, not you. Technically speaking, we own the airwaves, but we've given them away to these corporations. Ever wonder why there isn't a few hours set aside each week, on every channel, for oridinary people to be on TV? That used to be called the "public access," channel, but it's slowly being phased out–we won't even have THAT anymore. You think we have a "free press?" We don't.

The only difference between our media and that of a commie country is that the commie TV is full of old bastards spouting propaganda, while our media is full of people who are either talking about, or showing off, their genitals.

So Paris wants to be famous. She's rich and connected, and she gets on TV, but that ain't good enough–she wants to stand out. So she stages this "sex tape" thing. You find me a woman who allows herself to be taped while sucking dick, by a guy she isn't serious with. IT WAS A STUNT.

And, it worked. Instant celebrity. Endorsements galore. Front pages in real newspapers all around the world, when she shows up for something. She's part of the system, now. And the system does not question itself.

Real newspapers put her on the front, without asking themselves: "Why are we running a pic of this talentless cocksucker?"

If they did, they'd have to admit they were taking a spoiled, stupid whore seriously, and admit that they were no better. HERE, it's cool, because we all call her a useless twat. Why does she excel, though? Because the media owners love Paris, as she is an empty vessel. All she wants is to be famous, and since she will never speak for the poor of the world, she gets what she wants, because as long as she is gobbling up ink and soundbite time, YOU won't be, and serious stories WON'T be.

Think of Paris as an enormous false-flag operation–a hidden campaign of censorship, hidden in plain view.

Here is what is happening: The middle class is being destroyed, on purpose. The jobs are going to Fuckistan so you will be forced to compete with Fuckistan. In order to compete with dirt-poor Fuckistanians, you will be paid shit wages. The War on Terror is a lie, and can never be won, as you cannot beat a concept. End result? A police state. Our national debt is close to nine trillion dollars, which is far more than all our cash and all our assets (the Federal Reserve accomplished this by creating money out of nothing), which means we cannot pay off the debt and have money to make the economy function at the same time. We are all debt slaves. Sooner or later the bankers are going to fuck us all like they did when they created the Great Depression. When that happens, we will no longer be competing with Fuckistan.

We will BE Fuckistan.

The New World Order is engineering slavery for humanity, and on the way there, our media is filled to the brim with gossip and twaddle about people like Paris, the people who not only don't have to work today, but will end up owning you tomorrow–as slaves.

Think about it–50 years ago one man could carry a household, but now two full-time incomes are needed, and you still can't make it without going into debt. That leaves you despearte for all the cheap labour you can be called upon to do, because the NWO crowd have debauched our currency. The dollar is now only worth about 4¢.

You think that's wacky talk? Nah, wacky talk is Scarlett Johannsen telling us how she felt before her first Brazillian pussy wax; Screech's sex tape, and Paris showing up looking like an idiot again.

Keep watching the circus, America...go back to work...vote on American Idol...and then one day the NWO ruling class of Elites is going to turn you into a FUCKISTANIAN.

#62 - That was great, really. Not sure what brought out the Sherman Skolnick-esque/ Krugman/ Chomsky rant, but you are dead fucking on. And I didn't even think I'd get through your whole manifesto. I would have to say, for all of you Hollywood nut huggers who swear they "just want the paparazzi to leave them alone" and worse, "you're jealous," reread then suck sid's cock. Good job. I already speak fuckistanian at work.

#63 Thanks :)

I mean, remember Brigitte Neilsen, or whatever her name is? The one who married Stallone, and is now running around topless for pity laughs on some "reality" show?

About ten years ago, she was always on the front cover of the gossip rags, and she too was a weirdo loser notalent shit, but she got her ticket by getting linked with Stallone for a few years.

What is she, now? Ditto for Shannen Doherty. Anybody wanna talk about what's next for Ms Doherty? How about that girl who wrecked Gary Hart's shot at the White House? What's next for her? How about the one that blew Clinton–Monica Lewinsky? How about another one whose name I can't remember–the one who fucked Jim Bakker and ruined his empire–anybody wanna talk about these people?

All you gotta do is apply a few years to these dolts. They get replaced, but they're always there. Why? Why do the media powers INSIST that we pay attention to these nothings? Because if we ever wake up and take back the media, the bullshit things of life would diminish. But the bullshit is profitable, so......

...HERE'S PARIS HILTON, EVERYBODY!

PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT SHE DOES!

OH, LOOK–SHE'S HAVING A FEUD WITH SOME OTHER DIMWIT! IT'S VERY IMPORTANT!

SHE GOT A SPEEDING TICKET! DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO YOUR JOBS GOING TO FUCKISTAN! PARIS JUST CALLED ANOTHER CLOWN "A WHORE!"

Hey, thanks again. I only wish I hadda gotten in sooner. Maybe I'll cut and paste for the next Paris story :/

Dear # 64, Jim Baker and Gary Hart ruined themselves. I think it is sad that Paris has to be paid to attend parties. I mean when my friends have a party they just call and invite me and they don't have to pay me to show up because I am a real human being. she must be a very lonely being. no friends no on looking out for her, pathetic plastic sad vapid, devoid of human emotion and feelings. I almost feel sorry for her. NOT....

Paris is wearing Lil' Kim's contacts--like we wouldn't notice???

Um, I know no one's talking shit about Brenda Walsh. For shame.

i miss the good old days when paris hilton being on the internet was followed by her being fucked on tape but i guess it cant always be tuesday

she looks like a swedish prostitute...i guess a german prostitute since she's in germany. either way, i hope she gets an STD and dies.