Hopefully the police used rubber gloves when "handling" Paris.

http://www.celebslam.com

This comment is the best...

Mintz said police gave Hilton a Breathalyzer test, and it showed "the very absolute lowest reading you can possibly get to warrant being taken in."

How does that justify anything? She's Paris Hilton, just because she BARELY blew over the legal limit, she shouldn't be arrested. Fucking stupid slag.

The only victim here is the breathalyzer, which now has herpes.

Not that it matters ('cause she's a bazillionaire), but could you imagine her car insurance cost? What company would insure her at this point?

I feel like 'Being Paris Hilton' would add $40,000 a year to any policy...

...also, I'm really hoping she called at least one person (Nicky?) sugartits.

The LAPD has sprouted some cajones and are finally handling this walking infestation the way they should. The cop that gave her the ticket a couple of weeks ago and the ones who booked her on the DUI should receive commendations.

The mental image of Paris Hilton in an orange jumpsuit has brightened up my day...too bad a DUI doesn't hold any jailtime.

yeah well, her spokeswhores claim she had one drink ... call me stupid but having one marguerita usually doesn't make a gal blow illegal.. of course we are talking parisite so yeah, one of any thing usually makes her blow..

http://www.stingybitches.com/stardumb.html

Karma is a bitch, isn't it you STD infested C**t?

why won't she just die!

My happiest moment of the day - sitting in line at the DMV, watching the news on thoughtfully provided TVs overhead, and hearing this news.

My saddest - watching Every Single Fucking Head swivel up at her mention, with intense focus, heads that had previously been on cell phones, kvetching, whilst the real news was being broadcast.

Pitiful, rubber-necked wastes of human tissue are we....

Damn, first her album bombs, then she's denied entrance to that club, and now she has a DUI. Bad times for Paris.

Where are my tears pictures??? I need my fix!!! You cannot get me started on Paris tears and then just stop supplying me.... Come on, man!!!

Mmmm... Taste like karma....

I'm just picturing her "blowing" the breathalyzer. Ha, ha, ha. I wonder if she asked if they wanted her to spit or swallow. Ha, ha, ha.

Woo really bad times for Paris! However, I am pretty sure that a good portion of you would not, if she turned up at your doorstop, refuse her AT ALL. You just know you don't have a chance so instead you rave about how you wouldn't even touch her.

Okay, so DUIs are bad, because some innocent person could have been injured whilest the dumb bitch was drunk driving. However, we were somehow lucky that this retarded, druni, STD-addled skank killed no one, and that the only one who will suffer will be those that contract herpes from sitting in the same chairs at the LAPD.

Woo really bad times for Paris! However, I am pretty sure that a good portion of you would not, if she turned up at your doorstop, refuse her AT ALL. You just know you don't have a chance so instead you rave about how you wouldn't even touch her.

"Ma'am, please, you really don't have to put it that far in your mouth...Charlie, you wanna read this? I left my gloves in the car..."

The only reason she didn't blow higher was Kimkim gave her a few of her Milkbones before she got pulled over.
And #16 - I can guarantee you that if Paris showed up on my doorstep, I would open the door - douse her with gasoline and light a match close to her face.
And I do have a chance, b/c I am a big deal.
Just not fuckin cunty stupid like your idol.

Okay.. I'll go on the defense here...

According to her book, she rarely drinks and if you look at photos of her leaving clubs @ 3:00 am she doesn't look anywhere near as bad as Jessica Simpson tends to... For me its pretty convincing evidence that she only dabbles with booze.

Lets be honest, she has a sex video, has been caught ripping on Hohan and has done countless other things (including a bunch of dudes)that society would deem unacceptable. If she were boozing all the time, Paris would be one volatile character and would do things much worse than her long list of mistakes made while sober.

Whats my point?

I think she's telling the truth. I think being on a video set all day (fact) and not eating (possibly also true) combined with a single stiff margarita on her 5'9" 110lbs. frame would be enough to make her tipsy.

Im not saying she didnt make a mistake, I'm just saying I think she doesn't deserve to be demonized for a mistake anyone out there could have made on any given night.

True? Double true.

Damn you LAPD!!! First you guys smoke Biggie, frame OJ, and now this??? We could've finally been rid of this human petri dish, but no. The one fucking time you guys decide to do your job. I was in LA, drunk as fuck, waving my sausage at some powder-faced, donut-eating porkchops, all while driving, and they let me roll the dice and keep driving, figuring I'd off myself. Now that's community service. And exposing everyone at the precint to mutant herpes is just plain irresponsible. Bastards!!!

Since when is hanging out with Brandon Davis considered charity? Oh, wait..

Thank you... God?

http://www.wehateeverybody.com/

@19: You read her book? I can provide you with a list of classics if you're that desperate...

California Vehicle Code:

23152. (a) It is unlawful for any person who is under the influence
of any alcoholic beverage or drug, or under the combined influence
of any alcoholic beverage and drug, to drive a vehicle.
(b) It is unlawful for any person who has 0.08 percent or more, by
weight, of alcohol in his or her blood to drive a vehicle.

Mr. Flack can minimize it all he wants (like snag sez), but da law is da law. (BTW -- did you see the video of him on TMZ? He is a good flack.)

@12--No tears, you're right. She gets more upset about not being let into Bungalow 8 than getting arrested. It's all about priorities!!

Did she go on an anti-Firecrotchite rant? "Firecrotches are responsible for all the wars and STDs in the world? Are you a Firecrotch?...What are you looking at Popsicle-Dick?"

Okay, where have I been? #23 -- did Ms. Hilton really write a book? Oh, please, tell me that's a joke (and I didn't get it).

#16 - Don't you have to rearrange your Sanrio dolls or some shit like that? The bitch is nasty looking and a pleasure to insult. You seem like a nice sweet girl with an benign, if tedious, blog, but you should have left good enough alone and not included the link. After looking at that and at Porous, I am officially too nauseous to eat. Thanks a fucking lot.

Thank you #24, for posting the obvious typo in the article. No one blows a .8 into a breathalyzer. A ".8" BAC means you are dead. A ".4" BAC means that you drank yourself unconscious. A ".08" BAC means that you are too drunk to be driving.

She only had one margarita . . . but it was an extra grande 32 ouncer, yes?

Too bad she didn't have the .8 BAC then the world would finally be rid of this wicked skank. Her body would be kept by science as the only place where deadly STD's could survive in that much alcohol.

the dish, you ignorant slut. You don't want poor Paris demonized over this SINGLE MISTAKE? There's no such thing as only being lightly killed, ya know.

Haven't you seen Paris treat a parking ramp like it was her own private demolition derby? This bim's problem wasn't an empty stomach, it was an empty head.

16 - Let's say for the sake of argument that I don't know who she is. So I see her, from behind, walking down the street. I'm a guy so I give her ass a second look. Then she turns around.
Strike One - rhinestone cell phone hanging from head as if attached at birth.
Strike Two - makeup applied by trowel, hair my Grandma might approve of.
Strike Three - Dull Vacant Stare - the deal breaker. No matter how hard you hit that, you will still have to have some sort of conversation with it afterwards, even if it adds up to "But the car's moving!" followed by "Shut up and jump."

19 - I agree it's a mistake and mistakes should be forgiven, but when you take the model of Mercedes that its race division uses as the platform for their cars, get in and drive under the influence, you should at least be held the minimum 3 hours like everybody else. Sad.

RichPort - spot on.

Dish--If she drove her fucking Mercedes on her empty stomach and just a little bit too much to drink into your mother's car or ran over your kid while she was just a little tipsy would you still be this beneveolent? I don't fucking think so!

Hazmat is dispatching a team to determine the best plan for disposing of the breathalyzer. A jetison into space has been mentioned, but the possibilities of intergallactic provocation and potential war are being weighed.

BTW - I want her flack to explain the lipstick marks on my Jockeys to my girlfriend...if anybody could do it, that slimy bastard could.

I picture her mug shot as a typical full length, red carpet pose. I hope she slips and falls in a puddle of Herpes.

@26: I wish, but alas:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0743266641?v=glance

"She says she "regrets it occurred," She regrets that she got caught and that's about it, if she even regrets that much. She's a selfish, irresponsible, out-of-touch bitch and there is no hope for her. If anyone thinks for one second that all this shit she does is just because she's young YOU'RE WRONG...She will never change. She's a functional fucking moron with no ambition or class.

what matters is i had her last night, and it was sooo good

http://www.wampoon.com/

#32 - HA!!!

Jrz, did Skippy really give up that quickly? I'm disappointed...

Don't read about this on Perez Hilton - his story looks like he's auditioning to be her defense attorney...

37. Jake, honey you might wanna get yourself down the clinic... It's all fun and games now but wait until the sores break out.

hahaha this is hilarious! FINALLY she has been repremanded for her idiotic behaviour!! ....but then again, has she? We all know she can buy her way out of anything. If she was 'joe blo' she would have been charged and held - and feel like shit cause she could have killed someone. She just doesn't seem to care - same old 'smirk' (translation: I am better than you!) on her bitch ass face...as usual! Do people understand what 'DON'T Drink (at all) and Drive' means?? I can't stand this stupid bitch - I have seen enough! PLEASEEEE make her go away!

41--no, no, no....she Blows Joe.

Rich, Hopefully Skumbag Skip was just a bizarro mass halucination and is all gone.

finally her compuptance has come.. and I didn't have to wait another five years. Please all we need now is for people to throw tomato's, drinks or anything else any the next time she decides to "sing" for us...

I am glad to see Elliot Mintz does not have a personal life since his life is consumed by Herpes Hilton.

What's this? That read like a news article?

Where are the witty sarcastic coments?

The jokes about Paris being a whore?

O Superficialguy I am very dissapointed.

In closing...

Paris Hilton has Herpes

And Tom Cruise is Gay, that just fits everywhere.

E's tagging a Hilton sister?

Skip r-u-n-n-o-f-t.

ahahahahah, if you are going to get a DUI at least be way more drunk lol

the definition of drunk is when your shitfaced, therefore Paris is always drunk.

Holy fuck!!!

What is with these people. Celebs (especially Paris Hilton) have enough money to hire a limo, a car service, get a taxi...they even have enough $$$ that they could literally pay someone to carry them home from an event after drinking. There is no excuse there to drive under the influence.

And saying that she only had one drink is bullshit...nobody blows over after a single drink, regardless of how little you had to eat or lack of sleep, and especially from something as tutti-fruity as a margarita.

No excuse Paris, fucking ridiculous!!! There are other people out on the road you selfish, idiotic, cluless fuck-fead!!!

Where the hell is Joe Simpson when you need him?!??!???!!

No one has just one drink, especially this walking cess-pool of chemicals and disease.

Wow. Two awesome Paris Hilton stories in one week? Watch out people...I think my brain is about to explode.

http://www.edquartersaudio.com

What the hell is wrong with the Superficial? I don't come here so I can read, e.g., purplepuppy's lame comments. I come here to read the Superficial's lame comments. Jeez.

She only had one marguerita... and fifteen lines of coke. That'd be funny if she started ranting about the Jews. Or, instead of Jews, started critiquing the arresting officers' uniforms. A fashion maven even as she is being shown the backseat. The reason why they won't release the mug shot is because it would implicate the entire police station in a circle suck - Paris surrounded by fifteen feet of LAPD dick.

@53 anchower

What the hell is your problem?! My comments are just like everyone else's...making fun of celebs and speaking out about their idiotic behaviour. Why the fuck are you picking on me?! Oh, I assume all of your comments contain some stellar, ground-breaking, highly insightful observations that mine are missing right?

p.s. screw you!

Know whats fucked is the media out here in socal is portraying paris as the victim!!

re-fucking-dick-u-los

Did someone just cut and paste this news item? Isn't there supposed to be some kind of joke or witty comment in there somewhere? Am I lost? Can someone please direct me to The Superficial?

This is the greatest day in the history of history. With all this bad news for Paris (Tanking CD, refused entrance into nightclubs, and now the DUI) maybe she will finally decide that her life is not worth living and actually kill herself.

That would be a grand thing indeed.

Note to funeral home: Please ensure that Paris’ herp-ridden corpse is thoroughly cremated, as to bury her intact might cause the worms that eat her to be infested with some nasty super-herpes that causes them to mutate into something out of the movie Tremors.

I’m just saying that might be bad for humanity.

#42 - I haven't had a bizarro mass halucination since that time my friends and I decided to shove $50 worth of Indica and Hawaiian in a cucumber sized joint. After the houseplants stopped talking to me and 16 bowls of Cap'n Crunch later, I figured it was time to lay off the weed for a while. I swear, I didn't smoke until the next morning.

I like her headband. It's cute, like her smallish titties.

The asked het to blow the breathalizer and all she did was suck on the straw! OLOLOLOLOL True story.

*her* - damn you laptop!!

Oh man. My favorite is Perez defending her.
"The police only detained her because, like, there were paparazzi there and stuff."

someones got sausage fingers. ^^^

@59

My ten year-old kicked Skip's ass last night. Broke both arms, his nose and a couple of ribs. He's still in the hospital, which explains his absence.

#65 - Execellent. That's one more thing I no longer have to blame on weed. I feel like Earl crossing that shit off my list...

Come on Superficial, make a funny commentary on the situation. We can read the bland news story on any site. We need your wit and humor!

#4: "I feel like 'Being Paris Hilton' would add $40,000 a year to any policy..." is absolute brilliance. I can just imagine the little checkbox on the form.

5'9 and 110 pounds? Holy shit. Can they give her a hamburger while she's there? Or is the anorexia her way of staying in touch with Nicole? Like, having two vertebrae sticking out means "call me", a rib means "we're still friends", a raised sternum is "I can snort coke off my own stomach, bitch", etc.

Why are people always talking crap on Nicole Richie about her weight? Paris Hilton is 5'9 and weighs 110 for god's sake!!! That's normal weight for a girl that's 5'2! Why don't people call HER anorexic??

Damnit, this girl is like an oozing wound that won't fucking heal!

Superficial was too nice to her, I roasted her like a fucking chestnut:

http://angry-ferret.blogspot.com/

Here is a nifty tool....BAC Calculator:

http://www.ou.edu/oupd/bac.htm

I entered 100 lbs., 1 hour & 1 margarita which equalled a (theoretical) .04% BAC level resulting in "possible impairment."

Ferret, you get respect for the handcuffed picture. I'm still laughing at that one. I hope they orally 'interrogated' her.

Paris needs to be held accountable for her behavior and considering that most of the time she is not, it is refreshing to see that she is for this.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

71--and that's not taking in other factors such as pre-existing permanent impairment from being a stupid bitch, as Paris suffers from. That's worth at least another .05 right there!!

@71

That's why I avoid those Hondas with the sorority stickers. There is always some drunk bitch headin' back to Norman. Nice of the OU PD to provide a graph so Timmy and Sally know exactly how much they can drink before they barrell down I-35 after a night on the town.

#74
Exactly.

Perhaps Paris does not have herpes after all. Brain damage is a symptom of tertiary syphilis.

OK... she punches the code into her keypad for entry into her house... wonder how many psychos are watching that over and over in slow motion to try to figure it out.....

Er... maybe its just me doing that....LOL

Ugh... Why do I get the feeling that this is just some kind of poorly planned publicity stunt? Bad press is still press.

Or maybe her terrible CD sales are truly getting to her. Boo hoo. Cry me a damn river.

Ha, to all you haters that said she couldn't get arrested.
she showed all you loosers.

She's taking a page form Puffy. All cool rappers need to get arrested to boost record sales. What...? She doesn't rap? Fucking herpes ridden attention whore.

Reminds me of that old joke where the blonde gets pulled over, rolls down her window and the cop whips his cock out. Paris repies, "Oh no, not another breathalyzer!"

Once again, she can be summed up in two words - Stupid Cunt.

TCLTC

First of all -- 110lbs and 5'9", WTF??

Secondly -- even if you're scrawny, you still have to be drinking a significant amount to blow over the legal limit. My hubby's a cop, and he let me try out the roadside device once after I'd had a few drinks. After two double martinis and a beer, I blew 14. 81 would be the legal limit. Yeah, it'll vary somewhat from person to person, but you still have to have been doing a good chunk of drinking to blow at or over the limit.

she has a boyfriend?

Check out her arrest record at:
http://fadedyouth.blogspot.com/2006/09/paris-hiltons-police-record.html

She not 110 pounds...remember she had a pretty big margarita...the LAPD site says she's 115!