First!

http://www.sidekickwallpaper.com/

dammit!

I swear I was first!

He looks like a schnauzer. A schnauzer with great abs, sure...but STILL A SCHNAUZER!
I am disturbed.

SAY WHAT JESUS?!

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

He looks like a puppy with his tongue hanging out...

From the neck down... looking good though.

I can see why he's not wearing a shirt
I can see why he's panting
I can see why he has that look of utter stupidity on his face
But why lord why did he wear that bandana???

#4...yes, a schnauzer. With a doo rag.

this is the best reaction ever to being named people mag's "Sexiest Man Alive"

he's a rebel...pls gimme a break

BAHAHAHAHAHA he looks like a diesel Jesus of Nazareth or Moses

I think I saw this guy drinking piss from a 40 oz bottle in Bum Fights...

Why does he look like he's about to suck a cock in every pic?

awww c'mon.. i'd hit that shit even with his poochie belly.. only thing i'd need is a big fucking brown paper bag to put over his shaggy dawg head.. what's up with the aunt jemima hair net? jesus.. does he think no one is watching..

Isn't he on LOST?

http://www.celebslam.com

no he is Lost

He's going undercover. As a bigfoot.

http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

Wonder what he's listening to? The sound of wolves howling?

http://glossedover.com

Hmmm...if you'd all stop trying to be so clever, you'd notice that he really looks like a very handsome man who has enough $$$ to allow him to spend time sculpting his body into something of beauty. I'd give 50 lbs of flab to look like he does!

Aunt Jemima

...and if you look very closely, you can see the outline of his Magic Johnson. mmm.

he's crazy like a fox. all the celeb bullshit gets thrown at him, the constant scrutiny, the absurd sexiest man alive thing, all that, and he just continues to howl at the moon whenever and however he wants. if he saw this site, he'd call all his friends and they'd have a hysterical laughing fit looking at these pictures and comments. he's free as a bird, people think he's crazy in a funny way (not like tom or mel), and it has zero impact on his career. you can't beat him, he already owns the low road.

I'd hit it and then play the bongos naked.

Dr Danny..I know a Danny that is very hot...are you that Danny

#24....only if it was 20 years ago. Only in my dreams am I "hot" or anything like it. But back in the day....

First, I'd smoke a big ol' fat one with him, then we'd get the munchies, so then we'd cover eachother with whipped cream and lick each other clean, then he could bang on my bongos for awhile.

Don't really care about the do-rag or beard, BUT that can be easily remedied.

Bummer. Danny is hot. I'm gonna go find Danny.

He looks like Will Ferrell pretending to be Grizzly Adams.
This man has to be on some kind of record acid trip.

At first I thought it was my mother-in-law, but then I realized that this person doesn't have as many dark roots.

Stop it jrzmommy!!!

As a guy with a beard I am constantly astounded at the crazy reactions beards get. Folks, it's just the hair that grows out of your face. Most guys would have beards if they would only stop shaving. Why do you shave anyway? Does the feel of a sharp blade against your neck get you off? Do you have stock in Gillette? Do you want to look like a little girl?

ladies and gentleman... we have found... the missing link.

He's probably doing it for a role in a movie...and if he's not. Well, I don't know what to say. Also, it scares me to think that there are still some women out there who would jump him even when he looks like a schnauzer. -#8 that cracked me up!

Close your goddamned mouth, Matt. Your buddy Lance isn't in need of your services right now.

I didn't know Jesus was so into cardio.

#14 -- what poochie belly? Those are called abs. Sometimes, when you turn your body, the skin looks funny, but if you think you can see someone's ribs and they're fat.... you must love nicole richie.

#21 -- I noticed, too, and now I have to leave work for a few minutes. Don't worry, I'll picture him clean shaven.

this is how it started for Nick Nolte. I shit you not.

ROFLMAO @ #32

Man, he looks like a homeless guy from the neck up.

He looks like Jeff Bridges as the Dude. More specifically, he looks like the Dude in the scene where he's picked up by the Malibu cops for running down the middle of the highway, drugged out of his mind and hallucinating.

Also a little bit like Nick Nolte's famous mugshot.

The Aunt Jemima/Jesus look is so yesterday. As a celebrity, Matt needs to be on the cutting edge. He should go with the Juan Valdez/Dalai Lama look that is all the range in Milan right now...

where the skinny bitches are

Why is he so screwed up? Check this out:

overheard by Matt's driver

I'd be screwed up too.

Driver probably got fired though, even is this is fake.

thats old

Well I happen to have it on very good authority that the coolest cats in Paris are sporting the Col. Sanders-St. Francis of Assissi fusion and it is rocking the Champs d'Elysee

I can't believe no one has said this yet, and if they did, my bad...........

Run Forrest, RUN...........

stallion you deserve a medallion..that has to be the smartest thing anyone has said here today besides my own most informative posts of course

What in holy shit is that all about.

He looks like a white Morris Day.

"Somebody get me a mirror!"

barf.

48--oh-ee-oh-ee-oh

Yo ho ho and bottle of cum.

He looks like a housewife...albeit a very big, hairy housewife, but a housewife all the same.

radio4play:

Do I detect sarcasim? The motherfucker only needs a bubba gump hat and it would be perfect................

Regarding the school shootings in Montreal and Colorado:

I wish those murder-suicide fuckers would try doing it in the other order for a change.

grizzly adams gone ape shit

to quote the numerous amount of men on here when referring to skank ass bitches..."I'd still hit it."

56--to paraphrase 'em---I'd let it hit me! Wait......

54 - BigJim, there was a shooting in Wisconsin today too!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060929/ap_on_re_us/school_shooting;_ylt=AtgVIRxE_6vlLCCC3rqcrCus0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA3b2NibDltBHNlYwM3MTY-

Matthew McConaughey Tired!
Matthew McConaughey Hungry!
Matthew McConaughey Drive!
RAHHHHHGRRRRRRR!

Who IS that guy in the passenger seat?
Rob Schneider?

you know it's bad when you nearly send someone into both violent convulsions and uncontollable vomiting...why, why, whyyyyyyyyyyyy do some men think it's a good think to let beards growing uncontrollably like wild grass? oh yeah, he likes wild grass and anything associated with it...just, yuck! gross and ewwwwwwww! no amount of lucious body can compensate for that nasty-looking flea-infested, untamed pubic hairs of the chin look, nope, NOTHING! he's gone from airhead hunk to darn near homeless bum...

That guy in the passenger seat should watch for any signs of lycanthropic progression.

I wish Deryck Whibley would have shown up with a pork chop tied around his neck at this particular Matty shoot.

Stallion:

the truth is always sarcastic. it comes and bites you when you least expect it

That guy in the passenger seat should watch for any signs of lycanthropic progression.

I wish Deryck Whibley would have shown up with a pork chop tied around his neck at this particular Matty shoot.

Stallion:

I get the feeling you drive a red Porsche. You do, don't you?

The bandana is hiding his fresh hair plugs

I don't get this guys appeal AT ALL. He's gross. He has always looked like a skeeze with a monkey walk to me.

I'd do Harry Morton before old Matthew.

#66- That's because you're skeptical.

Lance Armstrong must like his men scruffy.

I found out what he's been doing with his free weekends.
http://www.ticic.state.tn.us/SEX_ofndr/result_button_sor.asp?var1=00215383

PS a dude in Cheatum TN having incestuous sex with a minor ?

on the 'big shock'-ometer, there's barely a blip

He has that 70's bush thing going.. On his face.

Didn't know he had such a huge body...

http://wampoon.com

Ummm, can you post a side by side of one when he is in his car compared to the guy that won Last Comic Standing!! The similarities are unreal!!

Shave and a haircut... two bits!

The Unibomber with a hot body!

if jesus was a stoner..

A housewife with a beard. How quaint.

http://theblemish.com

does that sign in the background say prison security?! armed patrol??

WOW, he is preparing for a role you idiot!

It's called "Wildabeast Gets Cheated on by a Gay Pirate".

even forrest gump eventually realized it was time to stop running this is bound to stop someday, i in the mean time will make fun of his determination as i eat a donut

Momma said they was my magic shoes, and they would take me wherever I wanted to go....

He's training for the Hobolympics.

He's training for the Hobolympics.

And no deodorant, to boot. Oh, Matthew.

If anyone's up for adding yet another fun site to their daily blog allowance, check out www.HolyCandy.com.

He looks like he smells like Pot, B.O. and Pachuli Oil.

Oh, and he wears the bandana because he has the same hairline as Bruce Willis.

He looks identical to Hercules in the Jason and the Argonauts film! Beard, dodgy hair, Crayola-coloured skin, the works!

I love that befuddled look on his face in the second to last picture.

Pssst, the crazed hobo/Nick Nolte look ain't doing it for you buddy.

CuckOOCuckooCUCKOOOcuCkooCuCKooCuckOOcuckOO...

These are not the best pics of him. He looks as cooked as Nicole Ritchie.

Oh, and #19 I hear ya bro, so I'm thinking you two fellas should hook up, I'm pretty sure he'll give you 50 poundings...

in your butt :)

Matt is in control, awake, and enlightened. He is everything Zen.

You can be too baby.

http://www.thetadprinciple.com/

I'd still hit it.

I gotta say that this doode seems like he might be cool in person and ANYONE who can cause a police intervention for playing bongos while naked deserves some props.

this douche is a cross between charles manson & gary busey...think about it.

In the 1st photo, if you look closely, there's a scar/stretch mark running horizontally down from under his navel.

try a razor, loser. You used to be a hottie, but now I wonder what is growing in that beard. Take a shower and clean up a bit.

working out well. but, still gives the impression of a castaway!

http://www.sleektools.net/sleekview.html

thats sick, he looks like a gorilla man. he should be shot by a hunter, getting mistaken for bigfoot.

@40

He does look like Jeff Bridges as the Dude in the scene where he's picked up by the Malibu cops for running down the middle of the highway, drugged out of his mind and hallucinating! My god, you are right! LOL

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

The mystery beard is getting on my nerves; I researched his upcoming movies to see why on earth he's grown it out and offered possible role-related reasons:

* We Are Mashall - "When a plane crash claims the lives of members of the Marshall University football team and some of its fans, the team's new coach (McConaughey) and his surviving players try to keep the football program alive." - Hmm. Maybe he thought the beard would be intimidating to the players so he could better keep them in line?

* Tishomingo Blues - "Don Cheadle adapts Elmore Leonard's Mississippi-set novel about two fledgling allies, the local Dixie Mafia, and a high-stakes Civil War re-enactment." - Maybe he grew a beard because men during the Civil War had beards?

* Fool's Gold - "A new clue to the whereabouts of a lost treasure rekindles a married couple's sense of adventure -- and their estranged romance." - Maybe the lost treasure is his beard and his wife finds it adventurous to sleep with bears?

* Arrested Development - "When an over the hill high school narcotics agent is forced into retirement, he goes rogue to prove that he's still a viable commodity." - The word "rogue" left up to loose interpretations.

* The Loop - "A highway patrolman is encouraged to search for his parents after taking up with a new woman." - I have no idea how to tie his beard into this part.

* Hammer Down - "In an attempt to get back into the racing world, a former NASCAR driver takes the shifty responsibility as wheel man on a major heist." - The beard is used as a disguise in the second part of the movie?

* Dear Delilah - "America's most widely read female advice columnist, Deliah, has a secret -- she's a he (McConaughey). By day, he produces a male-oriented cable television show; by night, he doles out sage sisterly advice under a pseudonym." - Hmm.

Hey hey hey, what is going on here?

He's still sexy, even as a hairy beast. I'd gladly go to one of his bongo sessions.

What, are all the mirrors in his house hung on the wall below his neck, or what?

My initial reaction was "Aunt Jemina", but Brain Embolism (#29) beat me to it.. So with much thought and deliberation, I came up with...

All he needs is a big wooden cross and some Birkenstocks and he would be a dead ringer for Jesus.

Mmmhmm..

That is what any man looks like who gets high and plays the bongos naked in his backyard. Give the man a break!

He looks like he is almost to the point of walking on water and turning water onto wine.

He looks like the guy who lives in a sleeping bag under the freeway by my house styled by Aunt Lucille on "housework day," except he's obviously been dabbling in a different kind of juice than the bag man favors. Appearing as "Mad Matt" in the WWF is the next obvious career step.

Has it occurred to you fuckos who are panting at, and masturbating to, these hideous pictures that:

1) Matthew McConaghey (sic) is transplanting his facial hair to cover his severely receding hairline? Whoever first mentioned that Matthew is using the bandana to hide the hairplugs is spot on.

2) Matthew has had plastic surgery? Why else is his body so chiseled, and why is he suddenly appearing everywhere without a shirt on? When women get breast implants, the first thing they do is parade around public nearly naked, to flaunt those hideous silicone (or saline) implants. Matthew seems to be doing the same thing. I'm guessing some pec implants, chiseled abs and lipo.

What makes it all great for Matt, though, is that NO ONE would ever suspect he (and other Hollywood men) have had plastic surgery, because most people focus on women's plastic surgery!!!!

test

http://entertainment1.sympatico.msn.ca/Lohans+smelly+tantrum/Celebs/Bang/ContentPosting.aspx?isfa=1&newsitemid=BSBS45098&feedname=BANG&show=False&number=0&showbyline=False&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc

hee hee....

Say, you know who has a huge dick? Brain Embolism.

Yep, that fucking thing is a python.

First time I saw it I thought it was a baby's arm holding an apple.

Ladies, be warned......

110- Angry "I may not know much, but I know how to kill a ninja" Ferret, how do you know I have a huge johnson? We're you peeking at me when we we're at that trough urinal at the Bellagio Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas Nevada???

Curiously Stumped,
Mr Embolism

trough:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/trough

@109 krisdylee - As much as I despise Lindsay Lohan and everything she stands for, if I was here assistant, I would have licked the smelly excrement off of her shoe with my tongue!
That's the kind of humble servant I was raised to be.

beards...they grow on you.

Matthew is just gearing up his new life as a homeless person.

To Hell with Hollywood! You can't eat garbage when you're in Hollywood!...

http://www.blackbeatpress.com

McConehey is a chimp.

beards....they protect you from gay accusations.

I'll give him a shave and a cut, as well as a FULL body massage and a 4 hour workout & in!

I saw a bum standing at the Wendy's on my lunch break and it reminded me of these pictures. Except, this guy had a grocery cart, a weird hat and was probably the epitome of NOT SEXY. And I'm sure he probably smelled like a dumpster. Matthew McConahey on the other hand.... mmmmm MMMMM! Now that's the sexiest damn hobo I've ever seen!!! Ok, I have reached a NSFW level of excitement. Igottagobye

PS/ You guys are TOOO F-ing funny! My co-workers MUST know that my job isn't this funny........

119--especially since you're a funeral director, right? :)

@ 120... something like that. MUAHAHAHAHAH!

Is that what it's like to be rich and famous?
OHHHH OKAY.

That is THE sexiest homeless man I've ever seen in my life.
Looks like he smeels pissy.

Thank you lord for the fact that he hates wearing shirts. Ive never seen a picture of him that doesnt turn me on. I dont like the beard but Id still f*** his brains out!!!

Castaway, cast very far away....