At least he isn't as crazy as Tom.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com/

1st!!!!!!

must have beat me by a second!!!!

looks more like shes being stalked by a street walker.

oh christ, does anyone believe this sham? i mean, matt's been doing the hokey pokey with sir lance-alot and penny's just covering for tomtom cruise in some wierd distorted way that we just haven't thought up yet.. she dated a gay guy before to keep the homophobes at bay and now she's doing it again for matt.. da bitch is a fag hag.. no doubt..

Can you spot the two beards in this picture?

Hereafter known as Lancelope...

http://www.exposay.com/matthew-mcconaughey/1/c/1537/

who cares if you're 1st....this story sucks. bring on the HOhan!

So he does own a shirt after all...

I'm beginning to detect a pattern...
With Pene = clothed
Without Pene = no shirt - EVER
Back with Pene = clothed
She either got custody of his upper wardrobe or he's getting naked with men whenever they're not together.
Just a hunch.

Guess all the Mance stories were starting to get the studio execs a little nervous so they called in the Spanish Beard herself once again. Hey, she helped TCLTC during his awkwardly single years, now she's helping Matt, what with Sandra Bullock being married and all these days.

Nice to see Matt with his shirt back on

http://www.celebslam.com

I thought he was boning, um, dating, ah, best buddies with Lance Armstrong? Now he's back to the exotic unibrow chick? And by unibrow chick I mean Penelope Cruz and not Freida Kahlo? Maybe they'll decide to adopt an Asian baby like TomKat? I've decided to end every sentence with a question mark today?

I hear he likes to lay between TC and John Travolta and pretend he's skiing.

Oh my gosh, could it possibly be that they are still close friends and just wanted to have lunch, catch up, and hang out together?

Oh amazing!!!

So sick of gossip blogs jumping to ignorant conclusions just for the sake of making a post...

So fuck off then Sara Jean!

#15 - After seeing your blog and for the sake of making a post, I'm jumping to the ignorant conclusion that I'm sick too.

@ #5 & #11 - Couldn't agree more. Matt's always had homo rumors trailing him like Jake Gyllenhall on a bicycle, and Penelope's supposedly a raging carpet muncher (her and Salma are more than just "friends"). Penelope apparently only dates men who happen to be gay? What are the odds of that? She is, without doubt, Hollywood's greatest beard. Her "dating" someone should basically be considered an outing.

What cracks me up is the expensive casual look. Now, Matthew's shirt may look like it cost $9.99 at Target and that he slept in it, but most likely the shirt is probably vintage and cost $300.00 and someone spent hours pressing it to look like he slept in it.

Also, why are we happy that he has one on?

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

I'd hit it. Him. Hell, her for good measure.

Oh, and one more thing... To those with all the sexual orientation comments... who cares who Matthew puts his cock in?

Could he be bisexual, gay, straight? Oh my gosh, we better review his friends and figure this out so we can label which side his dick swings to.

We all should know by now that homophobes have scientifically been shown to have homosexual tendencies and is why they are so worried about what someone's sexuality is in the first place. Gosh! (said in the style of Napoleon Dynamite.)

Can't we all just get a long, have sex with who we want to and not get all worked up about sexual orientation?

I mean let's get into more important things like why he has his shirt on and how we can convince him to take it off again.
Heck yes!

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

Well - they have a bit is common...sort of.
He always looks like he just woke up, and after seeing her in a few old Spanish movies - she always looks ready for bed.
Not sure the couple should be out in daylight though..

in*

Holy shit!

That was one whole post in-a-row that did not have a picture of Lindsay Lohan.

Way to go Mr. Fish

*******************
And did anyone find out whether or not Madeo's in Beverly was a soup kitchen?
*********************

Lastly, @15 Sarah Jean,

Does it make me ignorant to jump to conclusions and call you a disgusting dog-fucker! I quote directly from your blog-site:

"I know Mini is not a “person”, but she kinda is to me. She is my lover and personal pussy licker, her favorite brand of peanut butter is Skippy (extra crunchy). I take care of her, I love her, and I would do anything to protect her. Everyone says I cuddle on her and spoil her waaaaay too much, but I can’t help it her tongue is so soft and warm. She’s not “just a dog” to me and never will be. She means a whole lot to me and I love her to absolute distraction".

Thank-you for sharing,

hopeless

Sarah-Jean why didn't you name your dog 'Skippy'? Seems more fitting under the circumstances.

25-Does Skippy have nuts?

Maybe they'll have a Chinese droid baby like Tom and "Kate" did. Suri (or Testube #4356678-XXX as she is properly known) looks like she was bred in a Shanghai genetics lab.

In fact, Sheryl Crow is a mandroid constructed by the same geneticists who concocted Suri-bot. Unfortunately, there were still imperfections in Sheryl's design resulting in a complete lack of musical talent, highly visible nutsack, and manjaw/manvoice.

@26 Jrz:

I know this is cruel, but you have got to see Sarah-Jeans wedding photos. I totally pissed my pants.

I think she got married in a bingo parlor. The chairs didn't match and there was wood paneling on the walls.

I know it's mean, but if you get a chance check it out at.

Too much.

The only thing missing in the pictures is 'Skippy'.

And try to tell me that her husband doesn't look like a younger version 'Grandpa Munster'!

o.k. I'll stop now.

Hopeless

Also. Five dollars for anyone who can find "The Wizard Of Oz" among the many wedding pics.

Hint: He's wearing a red shirt and a silver tie ;)

I'm so cruel.
Sometimes I just hate myself.

Sorry Sarah-Jean but this is some funny shit.

Hopeless

Hopelesss--how the fuck were you able to get pictures of her wedding? Okay, let me go check out the blessed event.

I would much rather rag on Sarah Jean than Matthew McConauGAY...

An excerpt from Sarah Jean's website follows. I concede that "Skippy" is adorable and probably kicks ridiculous amounts of ass as far as pups go, but he/she probably spends most of his/her time plotting to get the fuck out of Sarah Jean's creepy clutches...

"Once upon a time, there was a lonely housewife who spent most of her time on the computer. Whilst in the midst of trying to make plans to move, she got very discouraged. She kept telling her husband over and over again that she wanted to have children, but both knew it was not the right time. They finally agreed that getting a puppy would be a much smarter thing to have at this point in their lives."

Yikes. Double yikes. Triple yikes.

@28 - Hopeless, you called it on the Grandpa Munster deal. Dead on, baby!

@29

What, is he twelve? Her blog made me want to vomit. I would have, except I had a twenty dollar lunch.

Sarah plays armchair psychiatrist all day, waiting for "Doogie" to come home from school.

If I was that average looking, I would never post my photo online.

Jeez.

More on Sarah Jean, my new obsession...

Who the hell puts this kind of data on their blog sites????

Cleanser: Neutrogena Skin Polisher
Toner: Murad
Moisturizer: Neutrogena
Eye Cream: Nicel
Lip Balm: Burt’s Beeswax Lip Balm
SPF: Neutrogena 15
Scrub: Avon Clearskin Exfoliant
Cleansing Mask: Queen Helene
Body Wash: Dove Nutrium
Body Lotion: Nature’s Gate
Hair: Pantene Pro-V Red Expressions

in a word?.......LILACS!!!!!!!!!!!

And there's a Grandma there that looks like she's about to put a hurtin' for certain on someone's ass!!! (16th pic down, blue shirt.) WHOA!! Don't shoot!

Speaking of fucked up wedding websites, my favorite has to be http://watergardendestiny.com/

Note, her children have three different baby daddy.

Gag me with a cake server.

I'm with Chelleann. The musings of this fucked up twenty something are hysterical.

Does anyone want to know my favorite brand of Tampon? Lube?

Back to our story: Penelope!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I discovered her first. And I would have paid for a vocal transplant.

Always loved Penelope. Not like that fairy self-absorbed bongo boy.

What's keeping the rest of his hair from falling out already?

Who is Sara-Jean the Lilac Queen???
She is: (from her website)
Sarcastic, married, housewife, aunt, Christian, Pisces, Tiger, petite, red-head, shoe whore, fashion addict, shopaholic, dancer, writer, singer, dance teacher, unique, very compassionate yet very impatient, defiant, overly demanding, yoga fiend, dog lover, cleaning fanatic, photographer, bad artist, pro-life, Italian, web designer, terrible cook, very quick tempered, overly emotional and brutally honest. Oh and my favorite color is purple

She forgot narcissistic, mirror-kisser, married to 15-year old, related to world's angriest senior citizen, bucket mouth, plain jane, mental patient, closet pro-choice feminist, car thief and all around pain in the ass.

They are just bangin' temporarily to kill time. Nothing good will come out of this duet except hot sex, a big thanks and they will part. Let's face it.

Shaun

@30 Jrz: I clicked on her name @15 and it got me to her website-then I scrolled and scrolled until I found the FUNNY!

She even left her e-mail.

We are not dealing with a genius here.

I had to change my pants.

Did you find "The Wizard of Oz"?

*****************
Sarah-Jean do you or any of your friends have breasts? Are boobs against your religion or what? Say hi to Grandpa munster for me.
****************

@31 I know, I get bored of ragging on celebs sometimes.

Sarah if it's any consolation I'd still fuck you. I fucked a snowman once because the neighborhood kids named it pussy.

I just can't stop. O.k. I'll stop now. *PHEW* *catches breath*

Hopeless

P.s. Next time you decide to throw stones. THINK??

@39 Lilac Queen. Brilliant

Hopeless--I found the Wizard. Did you find the World's Angriest Senior Citizen?

Hopeless-
Bitchin' photo of the Wizard located in the link for the table cameras at the nuptials. Check it out.
Also, a little girl on girl action (featuring the Jeanster) a little further down.
then, just below it, Creepy Uncle Duff hugging the bride with a big wink to let us know what's on his mind. Yucky.
Ok, maybe I just went too far there...

Hopeless--She was homeschooled. there's your explanation.

Penelope irks me...no wait..she doesn't irk me but her nose connected to her lip irks me...the fact that her nose is pretty much one with her upper lip irks me...there is like literaaly no space between her nose and upper lip. she can smell her words.

I have always thought brides who have bangs and actually wear them down at their weddings look incredibly messy and tacky. It looks like she just got home from soccer practice or something and threw on a wedding dress.

but grats on the wedding :D

oh yeah-this site is a celeb trashing site. If you dont like it, dont come here. the last fifty posts on this thread are about you---so if you dont wanna get burned dont play in fire, honey.

SPAM EMAILS TO SARAH JEAN! GO!

Apparently Sara Jean has written two books.
Let's take guesses at their titles, shall we?

ummmm

Sarah Jean blogged some of Lindsey Hohan's lyrics. wtf!

Book One: "Say it with Lilacs!!! Sara Jean's Guide to Formal Entertaining in VFW Halls"

Book Two: "I'm My Own Class President! A Homeschooled Kid's Memoirs"

jrz:

I wonder if she's available for consultation? I'm planning a redneck affair for July 2007. At the very least, she can facilitate pre-marital counseling, as she fancies herself a doctor of all things craaaaaaaazzzzzzzzeeeeeee.

Wow. Ready for my mid-afternoon adult beverage.

Oh my God, I've done it.
I just tendered my resignation at work.
Sarah Jean's website is so delectable that I must immediately devote all my time and energy to plodding through her blogs. I don't have time for a job. Maybe I should get a chihuahua too. I'll be the "lonely housewife" on the computer.
I have not found this much amusement on the Superfish since the Greek kid with the "limo" going to the "cafe" came knocking on our door....

@50 You fucking rule. LMFAO!

She's also went on a Christian Youth Field-trip to Washington D.C.

What fun!

This is what she discovered on her trip:

As you walk up the steps to the building which houses the U.S Supreme Court you can see near the top of the building a row of the world�s law givers and each one is facing one in the middle who is facing forward with a full frontal view .. it is Moses and he is holding the Ten Commandments!

As you enter the Supreme Court courtroom, the two huge oak doors have the Ten Commandments engraved on each lower portion of each door.

As you sit inside the courtroom, you can see the wall, right above where the Supreme Court judges sit, a display of the Ten Commandments!

There are Bible verses etched in stone all over the Federal Buildings and Monuments in Washington, D.C.

James Madison, the fourth president, known as �The Father of Our Constitution� made the following statement:
�We have staked the whole of all our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God.�

Thanks for the lesson Ms. Lilac.

Hopeless

Sarah Jean = firecrotch.

From Sara Jean the Lilac Queen's Blog

What I Believe
I believe all the scriptures contained in the Old and New Testaments is verbally, plenary and in errantly inspired by God

NO FUCKING SHIT THEY'RE INSPIRED BY GOD - IT'S THE BIBLE!! WHAT THE FUCK ELSE ARE THE SCRIPTURES INSPIRED BY? DENTAL FLOSS?

Wow, remember Stacyyyyyyy the Greek Slut? That was fun!

the lohan vagina pics are REAL
there is proof
go to PITNB
www.pinkisthenewblog.com

More...
Loves: Prada
Wants: Dolce & Gabbana
Needs: Banana Republic
Craves: Gucci
Has: Versace
Hates: Louis Vuitton

Let's get real, okay. She had her wedding reception in a bowling alley in Maine. Here's the reality version of that:

Loves: Pictures of Prada
Wants: Dolce & Gabbana knock-offs
Needs: Banana Republic Outlet
Craves: Attention.....I mean Gucci
Has: Jaclyn Smith from KMart
Hates: Living in Maine, where I'll never see any of these mother fucking labels on any clothes within 500 miles of where I live!

@55 Jrz: I can't keep up with you. You're fucking killing me. I'm on my third pair of pants.

At the end of the wedding pics there is a spot where you can sign her "Wedding Guest Book"

I wrote: I can't believe you let your dog lick your pussy you sick fuck. Signed, The Wizard of Oz.

@58 Jrz: You are my Ambassador of Quan today.

You are smoking me. I don't even know what to write.

And I can't stop laughing!!!!

hopeless

oh my god hopeless, i just laughed so fucking hard

Heroes: Lance Armstrong
Idol: Angelina Jolie
Role Model: Gwyneth Paltrow
Want to Meet: Julia Roberts

Okay, I mean....A homewrecking, serial- adopting, blood-drinking, incestual lunatic is her idol.

A closted fag is her hero.

An Anti-American American snob is her role model

And she wants to meet......another homewrecking douchebag!!!!!

Wow! And Sara Jean the Lilac Queen is a Christian. A Christian that worships homewreckers. See where homeschooling gets ya?

I missed all the fun, that's what I get for fucking the secretary for an hour. Oh, come on back sarah, don't be afraid, I'll be your defender, after all it's not often I get to see what a trailer trash wedding looks like.

jrz: I can't log onto her web-site anymore.

I wonder if she shut it down.

Why would she do that? Hmmmm?

Come on Sarah let us play.

Let us play and I'll teach you how to shoot a shot-gun with your big toe.

Have to get back to work anyway, everyone is staring at me, as usual, as I sit here laughing at my computer screen.

Hopeless,

Jrz: Thanks for the laughs.

Your welcome, Hopeless. Thanks for helping keep it light on a Friday.

PS I can't get into her site either. Maybe she already taught herself the toe-trick you speak of!!

I feel like I just ass-raped a virgin in a bowling alley right after Christmas Mass.

Oh, my ribs hurt from laughing so hard!!!!!!!

Sarah the Firecrotch has shut down her site. Her heroes; that is some funny shit. Ohhhhhhhhh, I have tears in my eyes! I just stained my Max Azria frock!

Commish: I peed my La Perla panties

woof woof ruff ruff
ooowyeeeee :)

chaneling [ :) ] our canine friend

woof [sorry just shaking off the end]

wow, I wonder if sarah was old enough to be married, thanks for her email hopeless. I know of some guys always on the lookout for new talent, they're big time producers and a have line of movies called "barely legal", I'm going to forward her email to them.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
i guess penelope cruz's spanish boobies feel better than lance armstrong's. also, it isn't her life dream to be his identical twin.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Heroes: Guy Who Invented Vodka
Idol: Charo
Role Model: Idi Amin
Want to Meet: The 22' Pink Chicken from my acid trip in 1992

more info on sarah

http://weddings.theknot.com/pwp/view/co_main.aspx?coupleid=3222902223438493&guestpassword=

bigponie, you are the bomb. I need help running down my baby daddy.

Piss ran down to my Jimmy Choo's. Fuck.

"Barely Legal". Ohhhhhhh, ho, ho, ho.

Wow Sarah Jean got told. Haha.

I posted to ask, is calling someone a "beard" the same as calling them a dyke? Or are you all saying she has a lot of facial hair or what?

This is a serious question I'm confused by all the beard talk.

Goddamn it, this place is like a fucking den of wolves, tearing at the flesh of a young, dumb, rabbit! I love it!

Sarah, I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you yell at us, it makes us nervous. And when we get nervous, we get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that's when motherfuckers accidentally get shot. We are a bunch of mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfuckers, motherfucker! Every time I read your comments I'm SUPERFLY T.N.T, I'm the GUNS OF THE NAVARONE!

Sarah - you poor thing, you can't come in to this party and shit on the coats. Didn't your mommy teach you any better? you can't drop your "I'm better than you" bullshit on us.

Useless piece of flesh.

PS - Goddamn it, I love Pulp Fiction.

Sarah, we have something in common:

SARAH'S ATTENDANTS
Jaclyn Jenkins , Maid Of Honor
Alina Loynd , Bridesmaid
Allix Mountain , Bridesmaid
Lisa Hoover , Bridesmaid
Kelsey Crathern , Bridesmaid

I fucked all of your friends.

sarah your such a killjoy removing the link like that. but don't worry I saved all the info on my hard-drive, I promise not to share it with the world.

SARAH VITELLI FUCKS DOGS

SARAH VITELLI

SHE FUCKS HER DOG

Do I have a cached version of Sarah's Page?

Hell yes, I do:

http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:pvfSEWkkQd8J: /+ /&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1

#80

your brilliant!!!

Here is the guy that was dumb enough to marry her.

http://daein.blogsplot.net/?tw=768&ld=1&ld=2&tw=768

Shit man, is it THAT hard to find a chick in New England? Come to Arizona, we'll find you a real woman.

Ahem...

#82
I think Edna took control. It says, YOU HAVE BEEN BANNED!

@73 through 82

You guys are fucking brilliant!!!!
I'm crying.

a cached version. Genius!!!

She is so fucked.

*************************
I copied a picture of 'The Wizard of Oz' from her wedding, I think it's her dad. I'm going to frame it and use it as my url.

If you go to:

http//www.spankcheeks.blogspot.com

It will be in one of the spank it yourself comments.

It will be the picture cock-ninja is using as his screen-name url.

Check it out Sarah... your dad is famous!!!
****************************

Hilarious,

We have been banned from here though:

http://daein.blogsplot.net/?tw=768&ld=1&ld=2&tw=768

Daein Ballard says YOU'VE BEEN BANNED

I'm sure one of you geniuses will figure something out, it not. Fucking Rule.

Hopeless

You guys ROCK!!!!

It has been confirmed. It is a picture of Sarah's mom and dad. Under properties it read mom and dad. Her dad is the fucking "Wizard Of OZ".

Having trouble posting on spanks's site though.

hopeless

At least good ol' Mini (AKA "Skippy") still is rockin' her blog site...

http://mini.blogsplot.net/

But I suppose it's a matter of time before the Jeanster catches on to that as well.

Ah, gawd, Hopeless. I love you.

Truly I do.

Well done.

OK, One parting shot at Sarah Jean before I go have sex with her mom:

Oh my god, I think I hurt my insides from laughing so much. This is the best thread I've ever read on here. Can't believe Sarah Jean came on here to bitch about gossip blogs and didn't expect to get ragged on for that piece of shit blog. Hopeless, Jz, Ferret, chelleann - You're my heroes. What a way to start the weekend...

This bitch is killing me:
"Mini had her first ride on a boat today! A paddle boat, but a boat nonetheless. She liked it a lot! Thought she was real big standing at the front of the boat with an “I rule the world!” sort of attitude. She’s such a ham.."

I gotta go throw up somewhere, but maybe that's just the hangover...

@89 Angry Ferret Jones

You are the coolest person on the face of the earth!!!!

Hopeless

bigponie i fucking love you. thought i was going to miss out when the link was shut down.

run mini, run!

This is the funniest thing I have ever experienced on the internet before. You guys are brilliant.

i hate myself for doing work this past week. I missed the best shit that has happened to this site since the edna spermbank days. fuck!

this fucking chick is a gooddamn nutcase! beware of religious zealots... freaks.

If any of you have been following the Sarah-Jean story, then you are going to love this.

Fresh off the presses.

She is going to try to sue me.

That's right. Sue me. Is that not awesome. Here is an E-mail that she sent to Spankcheeks, because I'm using a picture of her parents as my avatar.

********************************
I've been out of town, so I just got a hold of this. What do you want me to do? This guy can't legally sue you for making fun of someone, can he? Because I'm fucked if any celebs read my site. Anyway, what do I do?

xoxo

spanks

Note: forwarded message attached.
From: Private Account
Reply To: Private@marysremnant.org
To: spankcheeks@yahoo.com
Subject: Urgent: A problem with your comment section
Sent: Friday, September 8, 2006 6:05 PM
Peace,

Please forgive me, but I honestly don't know what else to do at the moment. A fellow who has been torturing my daughter-in-law has taken photos from her blog of my husband and I, and is using it as his avatar. He has just posted the following in the comments of one of your posts:

--------------------------------

http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=29523138&postID=115771956511801332&isPopup=true

cock-ninja said...
Hey everyone. Miss ya all

I've been at the Fish tearing a new asshole into my good friend Sara 'Vitelli' Ballard.

Before she shut her web-site down I was able to copy a picture of her parents. I'm posting it here for those who didn't see.

Sorry if this is confusing. Need to read the cruz/mcconaughey post at the fish to understand.

6:54 PM

cock-ninja said...
Her dad is the "Wizard Of Oz" I sware to God.

ninj

6:55 PM

--------------------------------------

He's also terrorized my daughter-in-law with emails, and left false cut/pastes of a sexual nature regarding us on another web site, whose hosts I have contacted by phone, and whose legal department I have contacted by email.

Please, could I ask you to remove the comment that contain my daughter in law's name "Sarah Vitelli Ballard," and the picture of my husband and I, from your comments? I know that you didn't put them there, but I'd be very grateful if you could moderate those for me.

I don't want to cause trouble for anyone else, but we're determined to make this fellow leave us alone, even if I'm forced to take legal measures against him. We've done absolutely nothing to him.

Thank you for your time and trouble.
Doris Ballard
Berwick, ME
****************************

Well, Doris Ballard

Bring it on Beeeeeooootch!!

I'm shitting my pants!!!!

Hopeless

P.s Do any of you know any good lawyers?

Hey, Sarah Jean updated her web page!

Sarah Jean should have KNOWN what she was in for on this site. WTF was she doing on this site, anyhow, since she's so deep-thinking and poetry-writing and religious and all. She would LOVE it at rotten. com. Wheee!

@95

Unfortunately for Mrs. Ballard and her family, her posting of information of a personal nature, as well as photos of herself and family has opened her up to public scrutiny. She has, in fact, made herself a public figure. It is very difficult, if not impossible to prove a harassment claim, particularly given the distance involved.

Because she invited the public scrutiny by posting information on the world wide web, she would have a very difficult time making a case she was libeled or slandered.

Additionally, because her information and photos are available for public consumption, if you will, she has forfeited her rights to information that is that is not protected by trademark or copyright.

I do not think you should "lawyer up" just yet.

@50-

BWAHAAHAAAHHAAAA!!!!! Oh my God, that is fucking hysterical...I'm my own class president...PRICELESS! You are my new hero! Anyways, this Sarah-Jean sounds like a real fucktard, what's the story on her? Every time I try to look at any of the links, all that comes up is some BS about "cyber-stalking". And @95, she's only going to try to sue you so she can get some money without having to WORK for it, so she can get out of that shitty burg in Maine and get to the BIG CITY and finally live her dream of buying a REAL Versace knockoff from the Vietnamese nail salon! Anyone who puts their personal info on the Internet and then bitches and moans about getting flamed is a fucking IDIOT who was asking for it! She's just an ATTENTION WHORE, we all know her husband is probably out banging his secretary, which is why she has to let her Chihuahua lick peanut butter off of her nasty snatch. Fight that bitch, don't give her a damn DIME!

Please read my link.

Oh my.. this is some funny ass shit... I feel bad to not have found out about this earlier, now all I see are stupid internet stalking sites... ugh. damn chihuahua whore.

Glorya

Damn it. Sounds like I missed one hell of a party.

Poor lil SJ. Didn't her mummy tell her not to play with the nasty children?

wwwwwwooooow
this makes the good old days off papa and osh and bigjim and stallion seem like nothing. i miss those guys cause they were actually funny in their abuse...
if i said it once i'll say it again DO NOT COME INTO THE SUPERFICIAL WITH YOUR PERSONAL INFO!! people have gotten ripped to shreds before (feed_me, bored blonde etc)

i wasnt around for it but i remember reading sara-jeans comment and going to her blog and i just knew she was in for it. i agree that she should never have posted her personal blog but i also think taking pictures of her parents and doing stuff with them is over doing it. that whole affair reeked of a bad afterschool special.

Damnit Sarah Jean. What is it going to take to get you out of our backyard? You little psychotic attention-mongering whore.

You know you love the attention that we give you. You never got it growing up in New England with that pair of blanched-out WASP parents of yours. And you obviously aren't getting it from Damien, or Darien, or whatever the fuck your husband's name is.

I have a long week ahead of me in which I can either focus on hassling random celebrities, or focus on berating some east coast dimwit who should have her internet connection turned off. It is up to you which path I choose.

So, seriously, stay the hell out of here. I am the god of all hellfire, and seeing as how I have neither a conscience, nor a positive emotion in my body, I would have no problem making you my special little project on the internet. I didn't get enough hugs growing up, and I am a bit displeased about that.

Also, do the world a favor, and remove every webpage in existance that has any reference to you, your family, your wedding, your husband Darius (or Dakken, or Dilkin - what the FUCK is his goddamn name?), your little dog Skippy, or anything that may even remind the world about you. You can't hang with the big dogs, you little bitch, so stay on the porch and off of the web.

You one-woman freakshow, take your blah-blah to the blah-blah-psychologist, because if you are so stupid to confront this collection of highly-intelligent psychotics, then you've just gotta go ahead and change the captain of your brainship, because he's drunk at the wheel.

So, just to re-cap, here is a list of things that I care as little about as you, your family, and this conversation. Let's see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah & all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everythingj every-everything that exists past present & future, in discovered and undiscovered dimensions!

PS - don't throw your religous crap my way. The Lord and I haven't been on speaking terms for quite a while, so he won't be much help to you this time.

Give Doris and Doug my best. Also, tell Skippy I hope he gets that peanut butter smell off of his collar.

Goddamn it, I hate stupid people.

TCLTC

Holy Shit! You are killing me!!!! I had to sign up after yesterday's bloodbath and then the continuation of SJs verbal beating. The bitch is retarted and apparently can't get enough of it. I FUCKING LOVE YOU FERRET!!!

No Way!
Matt can not stay with her!!!
She can't even speack her language!

#52 hopeless:

I can't find where Sara Jean posted this stuff about the trip to Washington DC and the Ten Commandments, so... If she posted it like that word for word then she just pulled it off one of those urban legends emails.

The Ten Commandments are NOWHERE in the capitol building or the U.S. Supreme Court. That's fiction, passed around by home-schooled fundamentalist anti-first-amendment wingnuts, right down to the fake James Madison quote.

If Sara Jean says she went there and saw it she's lying.

OK, well, I found SaraJean's post about the ten commandments. I didn't see any claims that she saw them herself. The post is word for word taken from one of those unstoppable email forwards so I'll assume she wasn't trying to deceive; she was just duped.