September 26, 2006
Kendra Wilkinson is almost as smart as your dog
If you've ever seen The Girls Next Door you know Kendra Wilkinson might be legally retarded. But just in case you had your doubts, she posted an unintelligible rant on her website saying:
"I want you guys to know that I know that this fantasy land I live now doesn't last forever and I now that and thats why i go to school. This can all go away in the blink of an eye so I am also using this situation to save money for my future. Oh yeah and what you see on tv is not always the truth by the way even if its a reallity show."
If you sped through that your brain might have filled in all the mistakes with words that make sense and are spelled right. If you went through it slowly you most likely never made it out the end. I'd send a rescue team to get you, but we've lost enough men as it is.
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Comments
1. Posted by Solaera on September 26, 2006 8:39 AM
Hilarious. What a dumbass.
2. Posted by College Dropout on September 26, 2006 8:39 AM
I think my IQ just dropped after reading that.
3. Posted by This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover on September 26, 2006 8:43 AM
I could rant about what a retarded waste of space this bitch is all day, but I think anyone who watches the show doesn't need to be convinced of this. I actually love the show, but I can't STAND that they let this bitch speak. Every time she opens her mouth, I lose IQ points. What's even more disturbing, is that she's the same age as me. I'm a girl, I think Hugh Hefner is the shit, but I prefer to be intelligent as opposed to riding 80 year old pole "for my future."
4. Posted by hamacus on September 26, 2006 8:48 AM
O.K. she ain't got the brains God gave a piss-ant but she would definatly win a race of rear entry gentry.
5. Posted by ZoomBoy on September 26, 2006 8:49 AM
You call saving for the future wearing a bigass diamond encrusted watch?
Go fuck yourself.
6. Posted by commissioner on September 26, 2006 9:02 AM
Who is this bad dye job? Why are her teeth darker than her hair?
7. Posted by PJ in PA on September 26, 2006 9:21 AM
She's like Lenny from Of Mice and Men but with implants and bleach-bottle blonde hair.
I'm guessing "Shhh - stop talking and get back down there" are words she commonly hears.
8. Posted by A2Bcom on September 26, 2006 9:23 AM
Who cares how smart or stupid she is. She's got great tits and lets face it, for some women that's all they need. :)
9. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on September 26, 2006 9:29 AM
I had the extreme misfortune of catching an episode when, as all to often, there was absolutely nothing on cable. She was ecstatic to get her jewel-encrusted grill delivered to the mansion. It really must be the little things that bring one joy. I love how that show makes that entire relationship seem cute when we all know it is disgusting. In reality, when the girls aren't running about prepping for the umpteenth party or lamenting about waxings, they are engaging in foul sex with a geriatric who has to pop 4 viagras to maintain a 10 minute hard-on and who has become so numb to sex due to making a life off its exploitation that he admits he watches gay porn to ready himself for his younglings. You can just see Hef directing his three whores to engage in lesbian sex while he strokes his flaccid, chemically-induced erection while eyeing a gladiator porn. I believe there was an episode when the girl's parents visited the mansion. They were soooooo proud their girl's had come so far from the trailer park.
10. Posted by College Dropout on September 26, 2006 9:35 AM
Everything about this girl screams country whore. I bet she like to carouse around at the local Piggly Wiggly. She probably prances around the frozen meat section in her bare feet, while challenging the locals to see if they can spell as many words as she can with a cock shoved in their mouth.
11. Posted by hav-a-tampa on September 26, 2006 9:36 AM
so i guess she realized the show got cancelled, and she's gotta look for work soon.
or she's just a dumb blonde.
12. Posted by commissioner on September 26, 2006 9:53 AM
Okay. I had some time and "googled" her.
She is what the Nazis commonly referred to as a "useless consumer of food".
13. Posted by MyWellRehearsedMistake on September 26, 2006 10:30 AM
She's one of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends.
I don't think that job requires a high IQ.
What a fun life she leads: to not be good enough to be a playboy bunny but be good enough to get fucked by a really old man.
14. Posted by Spindoc on September 26, 2006 10:33 AM
OK, Can I make a suggestion to every wannabe celebutard out there........
When people are taking your picture, smile, or look serious, or whatever, but stop making fucking peace symbols, or any other kinda hand sign. It makes you look like a dumb-ass. You Hear me Kendra? K-Fed? I'm talking to you too. Justin Timberlake? Ashley Parker Angel? Yeah, you know you've done it too. Now STOP.
Oh, and Kendra, anybody who has ever watched the show can tell you're gay and in love with Hef's main girlfriend so please stop pretending that the relationship with him is real. My guess is he pays you to go down on her while he watches.
Ok, Rant over.
15. Posted by CelebSlam.com on September 26, 2006 10:36 AM
My dog's breasts aren't nearly as nice
http://www.celebslam.com
16. Posted by Superevil on September 26, 2006 10:38 AM
WTF is this going to school business? Unless it's beauty school I don't see it amounting to anything, and if that doesn't work she can always turn to gaping anus porn for Hustler to supplement her income.
17. Posted by DancingQueen on September 26, 2006 10:41 AM
This bitch obviously doesn't own a freaking mirror because that is one HIDEOUS dye job! She should have used the money she spent for that dumbass watch and gone to a real hair salon instead of Hair Cuttery. Dumb slut.
18. Posted by Angry Ferret Jones on September 26, 2006 10:55 AM
I wouldn't say she is completely useless. I have a project that she could work on for me.
In my pants.
By my naughty parts.
Yes, Sarah Jean, I am talking about sex.
19. Posted by Jacq on September 26, 2006 11:03 AM
Holly wants to edge the other girls out and Bridgette at least has a smart head on her shoulders. Kendra, where in the hell did she come from? She's only 19 and a total tramp. Hef might want to re-test for dementia.
20. Posted by RichPort on September 26, 2006 11:16 AM
This is the kind of peroxide addict that I'll usually make an obvious point of talking directly to her tits, asking questions like "So, who are the twins?" or "Looks like your girls got snake bit! Let me suck out the poison..." or "Are you the one looking for the mammogram? Hef sent me...". She looks like the epitome of young dumb and full of (Hef's) cum. I love this fucking country.
21. Posted by Triumph Insult Dog on September 26, 2006 11:46 AM
Mongo lik playboy bunny! wunt her to teech him 2 weed and wite good...
http://www.blackbeatpress.com
22. Posted by Grobpilot on September 26, 2006 11:58 AM
I could give a shit less about her brains. Great tits.
23. Posted by jrzmommy on September 26, 2006 12:45 PM
Oh yeah and what you see on my body is not always the truth by the way even if they do look like boobies.
24. Posted by PunjabPete on September 26, 2006 12:47 PM
You know, breasts like those are why the terrorists hate us.... They make Captain Winky stand up and feel patriotic...
"Oh, say can you see...."
25. Posted by commissioner on September 26, 2006 1:52 PM
jrz:
mah hed is spinin.
26. Posted by ValeWolf on September 26, 2006 3:02 PM
Oh please. Everybody knows that all these women do is play a part of Hugh's image. He doesn't do either one of them. They're just dogs he likes to take out for a walk so people think he's still very viril and manly. And in return they live in the mansion.
The second younger girls come in, they'll get the boot and so on until Hugh's body stops being fed by scientifics. Which is never. Like Burns.
27. Posted by Praz on September 26, 2006 3:04 PM
I'd hit it.
But as hot as these girls are, I still can't bring myself to watch this show for even a second. Oh wait, that goes for ANY reality show.
28. Posted by Brain Embolism on September 26, 2006 3:08 PM
@18 Angry Ferret Jones
Like OMG! I have the exact same project that she could work on for me too.
29. Posted by weenis on September 26, 2006 3:15 PM
second to last picture: "your penis here"
30. Posted by amajean040904 on September 26, 2006 3:32 PM
who cares if shes dumb shes hot
31. Posted by TorontoMapleLeafs on September 26, 2006 6:18 PM
wait wait wait.. shes 19? is this true? isnt her being with hue, rape or illigal? its like me being with someone my grandpas age right now. uhh.. barf :(
32. Posted by ScottInFlorida on September 26, 2006 6:46 PM
I have no idea who she is and I don't care.
If given the opportunity, (consent), I would gladly insert my wiener into her pee-pee hole.
33. Posted by Sassy on September 26, 2006 9:37 PM
I dont even know who the bitch is. But you're right, she does look legally retarded.
34. Posted by marc of teh place on September 26, 2006 11:07 PM
I bet she thinks what she wrote is really deep, meaningful and not retarded. It's funny when they think they aren't idiots!
And I think she's counting how many boobs she has. DUUHHHHH TWOOO I FINK. Clever girl. Now stfu.
35. Posted by checkyourshorts on September 26, 2006 11:10 PM
It's the Ottoman Empire, a golden prison, with some the old cod saying "Entertain yourself with this reality show before you gnaw off your own breasts out of boredom."
I bet they don't even get a salary, but get to keep gifts - in two years, she'll be looking to smelt the jewelry, implants, cars and corgis.
36. Posted by checkyourshorts on September 26, 2006 11:11 PM
Not to mention Hef's remains.
37. Posted by cap077 on September 26, 2006 11:17 PM
her hairline is white!
38. Posted by Dirt McGirt on September 27, 2006 2:43 AM
I think it was #9 that said that the show tries to make it seem like it's a "cute" relationship, and make Hefner seem like an old grandfather-like figure, but in reality it really is a fucked up, dysfunctional relationship. Yeah, hef has a good life now by some people's standards: doesnt have to work, lives in a mansion, gets to have sex with lots of hot young chicks, etc., but, and I say this as not as a holy-roller or anything, but this man is definitely going to Hell for living his wicked life. Discuss
39. Posted by SoupaSarah on September 27, 2006 2:48 AM
She is as smart as this dog? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/southern_counties/5383928.stm
By the way, who is this loser? Who IS she? who IS SHE!! Where did you get her from?!
40. Posted by marie-jo on September 27, 2006 4:27 AM
She's so dumb she used lube instead of powder foundation on her head.
41. Posted by popegoestheweasel on September 27, 2006 6:08 AM
Easy on the eyes, hard on the brain. Yeeouch.
42. Posted by jrzmommy on September 27, 2006 6:10 AM
Don't eat the yellow hair!!!
43. Posted by BeaGass on September 27, 2006 6:15 AM
ummm, 32? either you dont get laid much or you have the smallest cock on the face of the planet. peepee hole=urethra......unless of course you meant your pee-pee hole into her cavernous cunt.
44. Posted by RichPort on September 27, 2006 6:15 AM
Maybe she saw Hef naked and it scared her hair white...
45. Posted by billabong021 on September 27, 2006 6:44 AM
I'd have to say that quote was actually pretty coherent even thought it had poor punctuation. Also, her face is shiny..
46. Posted by Nightowl on September 27, 2006 7:25 AM
I think she's cute. Who cares if she can't use punctuation correctly? Come on ladies.....who wouldn't want to live in the Playboy Mansion and be catered to? And by the way...she's not 19, she's 21.
47. Posted by eastboundanddown on September 27, 2006 9:32 AM
It seems to me she's proven to be one of the smartest reality show stars out there. She understands this won't last forever. She's saving her money. She's going to school so she'll have something to do when this is over. And she's a hottie.
48. Posted by ch474 on September 27, 2006 10:53 AM
"I'm not paying you to talk, get back to servicing Little Hef"
"Yes Mr Hefner"
"Shut up"
"hmmmummmummmnggfph"
"Now look what you did! I'm going to need a new pair of black silk pajamas!"
"(sfx-gurgle, spit, swallow remainder)"
Nice tits. If Hef's involved they have to be fake.
49. Posted by EazyE on September 27, 2006 2:11 PM
She belongs on that show with Flava Flave (sp).
50. Posted by poker_n_d_rear on September 28, 2006 2:08 AM
maybe im just an asshole but i cant remeber the last time ive wanted to fuck a woman for making an intelligent comment, the only reason anyone would carry a conversation with this girl is because of the possibility of fucking her, so why judge her brains, or the lack of thereof, judge her for her fake tits which she has plenty of. thanks
51. Posted by mysticalfemme on September 28, 2006 11:44 AM
Great comments, people. This is the most entertaining thread I've read in a while. The best comment is EazyE's: Kendra would definitely be the perfect contestant on "Flavor of Love."
52. Posted by mysticalfemme on September 28, 2006 11:48 AM
Great comments, people. This is the best thread I've read in a while. The best comment was Eazy E's: Kendra would definitely be the perfect contestant on "Flavor of Love."
53. Posted by girlbeast on September 28, 2006 1:07 PM
haha, I went to high school with Kendra. I remember when her boobs were sill A cups and she was blowing old guys in Mexico for money.
54. Posted by poker_n_d_rear on September 28, 2006 11:30 PM
i guess i have a new plan with my life now: get old, move to mexico and get sucked off by future playboy models,i would being elderly wont be too bad now
55. Posted by hey_luv on September 30, 2006 5:52 PM
kendra is a playmate, as well as holly and that other chick. They can live it up unlike most of you who come on here to read posts. You guys probably make minimum wage and live in a crappy apt with a bunch of kids or a dead beat boyfriend.
56. Posted by helloyou on November 11, 2006 6:17 PM
Hello, I think the girl is cute, we saw pictures of her as a kid, natural pretty blond.
well she has not been to school too long but at least she has a job but I doubt she will work that way. I really wonder if H sleeps with her, I really don't beleive so.
we have no prove of that !
Holly seems to be really in love with H, do you think that's possible or just interest ?
yeah the peroxide is really ugly and not necessary.
Bridget looks like fergie from the muppet show, she has a dirty look on her face, cock sucker.
(excuz my english I am french lol)
guys give me answers to my question, you are very nasty to the girl who is just here to have fun and play pretty.
what would she be today ? strip girl, she is better where she is, perhaps she'll marry an athlete. (she is no athlete though, why does she say that all the time... well you have to be something).
I like those 3 piggies and I'm a girl, I thought they were discusting at first.
57. Posted by helloyou on November 11, 2006 6:20 PM
I don't like her mother saying she would like to be H'girlfriend as well, that's more of a O eventhough she is half kidding.
you don't share the same man with your daugther.
58. Posted by helloyou on November 12, 2006 1:08 PM
Hi I wrote a comment but it does not show
is this discussion over ?
thnaks