Sep 14 2006Jessica Simpson challenges Victoria Beckham to tan off

Bitch looks like an orange troll.

FIRST BITCHES

SHIT. SECOND - BITCHES. Hehe.

nothing better than narcissistic celebs going downhill. she looks like a dude.

all these celebrities hire 'professional tanners' and this is what they come out looking like. someone should be fired.

That first picture makes you wonder just how many people it takes to get this nucklehead in to a car.

Can you find:

1) Sleeping security Guard
2) Vern (from Vern Goes to Camp)
3) A man with the smallest flashlight in the world
4) A chick in white who appears to be 100 times hotter than Simpson

Overtanning is the new gay.

http://www.celebslam.com

Mystic Tan isn't ideal for everyone. She should dial it down or get custom airbrushing with a lighter color that more closely matches her natural skin tone. She can afford it.

The Butterscotch Philly.

She looks like a Hanson in the last picture. And would someone explain to me what she's wearing?

The first to get cancer wins!

http://www.wehateeverybody.com/

Looks like she got another "just felt weird" lip injection too.
Soo TEAM NICK

Team Nick indeed......

orange is the in thing this season, pretty soon I'll mistake her for a pumpkin, carve me an evil face and turn her into a jack-o-lantern.

Orange is the new alabaster.

It was nice of her to give to crack heads a ride.

*two

She's like a carrot with tits.

I can just hear Mel Gibon saying "Hey, Carrot Tits! Want a drink? You're not a Jew are you? OH, look what the Jews did to your pants!"

Gibon - Gibson. I wore out my "S" key typing "Sarah Jean" 1,000,000 times.

Wow, I had those exact same jeans back in 1988 when it was "cool" to wear them ripped like that.

Does she KNOW what she looks like? She could be the next spokesperson for Fruit of the Loom - except that endorsement deals normally end with her being sued.

Horrible makeup, horrible hair, horrible "tan", horrible clothes, horrible "talent", but when are we going to stop caring about it? Guess it's like watching a train wreck, you just can't look away...

I think Joe Simpson has been ODing on the orange juice and cinnamon toast, plus he apparently cums in buckets. I could of sworn she looked a bit red last week, when he was on that strawberry/ goat's blood diet.

She almost looks like a crack addict in that first picture.

Jess looks horrible. I echo #24, she'll be the next Whitney.

http://www.edquartersaudio.com

Her dad probably has her convinced that she'll "turn normal color" again if he stares at her completely nude for at least two hours a day. Of course, followed by two hours of pulling his pud.

It looks like she had lip collagen overload.

Again.

I can just see the staff after celebs get a spray on tan... "Oh honey, you look fabulous... just gorgeous! You have a great day, bye now!"

Pause as they leave...

"Muhahahahaha! It worked! I think she bought it!"

What are these celebs thinking?

Although, after jesting, I do feel we should be careful not to discriminate against someone for their skin color, even when they are orange.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

Wow.... the more and more I read this site, the more I'm assured that Jessica Simpson is devolving. Maybe when Nick left her he took the antidote that was supposed to keep her human but.... DAMN. She's one celebrity I can look at and feel better about the way I look. As are most of the gems on here.

I just saw her on Leno last week and she was spewing some garbage about how she had gotten lip injections last year and hated them. I guess she wanted to give the fish face look one more try because she definitely looks as if she's been hitting the plastic surgeon's office again. Way to stick to your guns, ol' Jess!

Every celebrity should have a sleeping Asian Hasidic security guard in their entourage. Every single one.

Now that I look at it again, I can safely say there's not one positive thing about the way she looks. Not. One.

WHATS ALL THIS NONSENSE ABOUT BEING FIRST?

God, she looks rougher everyday.

Jessica Simpson used to be pretty. WTF happened to her? Damn, when you get divorced, you're supposed to get hotter 'cause you lost 180 lbs. of ugly fat or whatever, but it's like Nick whatshisface had some sort of magic that made her beautiful and now that he's gone the spell is broken and she looks like an orange troll. Why do white bitches make themselves orange? It's not just lighting, either. They are ORANGE. Just STOP IT. It's not attractive. Pale is better than orange. Embrace your destiny, Jessica. But please, get your roots done, because you look like a truck stop hooker.

The thing that is so stupid, all you need to be, is "Not Pasty"

Thats it, just a nice color that says "I was out in the sun for about 10 min. a day for the last three days. Just enough so you don't look like a ghost. Michelle Pfiefer does that right. This color just looks stupid, it looks like she had a mud bath and forgot to shower after. Either that or Steve O and Bam Margera had diarrah and both crapped on her after sex.

# 35 - dude, chill out. She IS embracing her destiny. (I.e., she *IS* a truck stop hooker).

How high and/or drunk culd she possible be in that third pic?

Anyone else notice how the passengers in pic 2 look like they are somewhat concerned about what they see in front of them... Yet Jess looks like she is trying to remember if she turned of her curling iron? Who would ride with this idiot?

Me no spelly today.... COULD... Damn....

Why is she with Jack White and Matthew Modine?

All's I can say is
HAGGARD.

She's fucking Carrot Top on the sly, his vitamin C jizz injections are turning her skin orange. He did the same thing to Bea Arthur a couple of years back.

She's clearly driving drunk and/or high. Why is this bitch not in jail?

lol...she looks like an orange drag queen. Who finds this girl attractive???? Nasty

Tropicunta Orange Juice

And here I thought cheezos were only for eating.
Take a handful, smash in hand, rub all over face.

Okay first I blamed it on cheetos. Unfair. After looking at the last photo, it's clear this chick has been hitting the crystal meth.

Hard.

The coke bags under her eyes are about the same size as the fun bags on her chest. Nice to see that she wore holes in her jeans kneeling in front of the passengers in her car. I'd rather meet the smokin' hottie behind her on the stairs than throw a bag over her head and do her while wearing a hazmat suit (so you don't get any "residue"). Apparently that doesn't bother Daddy though.

OJ SIMPSON!!!!

she used to be so pretty that i envied her...now she just looks homeless and depressed......and orange.

Maybe she should get a job with Caltrans as an oversized traffic cone.

Bah never thought she was that pretty, man imagine what she's gonna look like in another 10 years...

http://www.exposay.com

Bet I could name another activity she's doing with a banana and 'ooh ooh ahh ahh' sounds.

Her dad.

holy shit, she is one ugly bitch, and what is with the lips, they're all filled up with something i thought she said she gave up on restalin because it looked "fake" guess not.
and is that kirk cameron in the back deat.whoa jessica, that's d list. you are d list, wench.
after we destroy paris hilton, she's next.
or you know they'll destroy themselves as we watch.

@41- krisdylee, thank you. Now if we can get

jane's eyre - (hilarious comment on #51)

and Italian Stallion to 'link'...

all would be right with the world.

That divorce obviously did very bad things to her self esteem and overall mental state, I mean guys absolutly DROOLED over her as daisy duke and now she's the "Orange is HOT" poster girl...

She needs to get some girl friends, get some icecream and stop fake tanning until she gets over him... yeah she might put on a bit of weight but hell its better than looking like a jelly bean

she doesnt even look that bad, i dont think

#41 Suicidal, you dickwad,

I'm sure you meant to say, "all would be right with ZANNA'S world."

Hopeless

why is she being allowed to drive? they should be challenging each other to a stupid off. no clear winner there. she looks like she has been rode hard and put away wet.

@58 - Hopeless_, you're right. Thanks for the correction.

And it's fuckwad, not dickwad!!

RichPort - Those METS are amazing.

im no expert here, but that tan is fake

@40 -- I was thinking the same thing. Surely Jack White has better taste than that. Besides orange doesn't go with his color scheme.

@49 -- ha ha good one

people pay to look like this?

Orangutan? I wonder if she has a little pink ass.

she can DRIVE -- All by HERSELF?!?! I'm floored.

She was on Leno acting nearly drunk, I swear she was flying the alki airlines. She pulled a Farrah Fawcet. I knew something was wrong with her usually she acts normal.

To Nik on Post#32 - I CAN actually see one positive thing about the way she looks...she's not with Ashley

She looks like a really fucking HOT orangutan. With boobs and a somewhat used vagina. I still love that monkey chick from Planet of the Apes though. Rarrrr.... HOT. :P

Its that Fake Spray Tan shit,that stuff never looks good-and it smells like funk

she looks like a donkey, with her guffaw ass lookin' face. jessica: "HEEHAW!!!"

Is it just me, or does she actually look like a Jack-O-Lantern in the second pic?

ha ha....well, who's gonna retain the oompa loompa title?

Jessica Simpson I am sure has nothing to any of us posting here so I wonder, what is with all the bitter comments? Does it make people feel better about themselves to trash on others? I don't understand this logic. I feel awful about myself when I catch myself saying something negative about another person.