Sep 29 2006Avril Lavigne spits on paparazzi

Angry Canadians.

When are they going to be arrested? Why does this go on?

Hahah she looks like she can be a real b*tch.

If ya don't want fame, don't go looking for it.

The retelling of this makes me think of the scene in Ace Ventura II where he and the tribal elder dude come out of the tent saturated in spit. Maybe expectorating upon each other is a little known Canadian custom???

It's quite sexy actually.

http://wampoon.com

Woman or not, I would have punched her right in her cocksucker!!!!!!!!!!!

No it is not a Canadian thing to hork' on others thank you.

She is a snot noze with a huge ego. A nice backhand from a WWE Diva would dummy her up real quick. :-)

Dane Cook

I'd grudge fuck her right in front of her dweeb of a man for a husband.

Yes, because Avril is just soooooooo busy in her career as a celebrity that she can afford to be rude to her fans and the public.

Married at 21 years old to a troll with a lispy singing voice. This girl never was, nor ever will be a "punk rocker". If she went with me to a true punk rock show, she'd piss her pants and get on her diamond encrusted cell phone to call Vera Wang exclaiming, "Will you make me some eggs and baccy?"

That's by far the most punk-rock thing she's ever done. Congrats, Avril! Now you're only 98% fake!

http://glossedover.com

Mr. Dane Cook

WHere's my slurpee...just kidding

What a useless cuntrag. Who the hell does she think she is? She's acting like she's some big star, fuck her. No one likes her pseudo-punk crap anyway, except jr. high school girls who think she expresses their upper-middle class angst and oppression. Blah! She needs to find a good hole of obscurity to disappear into.

I, for one, would have put my fist through her fucking rat face. (Come on, we know she looks like a rat.)

And if she didn't want the papparazi that comes with the fame she can fork over her millions and move into a trailer somewhere, fucktard.

reference = dane cook

"god help me, it's the sound that makes me want to punch infants!"

hahaahh I hate her even more now

It's a damn cold night

obviously, she's been hanging with caMORON diaz lately and apparently blowing loogies on paparazzi is a cureall for major acne cysts..

Little spoiled bitch. She needs a sound spanking with a horsewhip. You're grounded!

OH MY FUCKING GOD! STOP THE PRESSES:
ANNA NICOLE SMITH AND LAWYER EXCHANGE VOWS
http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2006-09-29-anna-nicole-ceremony_x.htm?csp=27

She looks like a fucking elf. Good thing she keeps the pointy ears tucked under that mop. If she hates the photogs so much she can always move back to our 51st state. That's Canada of course. Isn't it, eh? What the hell is that aboot?

#18 - That puts him close to the lead in the race to the bottom of humanity, a spot currently held in a tie by Paris the molester Hilton, Dick Cheney, and Osama Bin Hidin'.

#18 but he ain't done got no money! hic.

If she doesn't want the press following her around maybe she should keep her dumb ass in Canada where I'm sure nobody gives two shits about her. Why is she hanging out in Hollywood clubs if she doesn't want to be seen? Dumb bitch.

Every ratzi should take turns spitting in a bucket and throw it on her all at once... priceless.

That's so punk and anarchist of her. I am not impressed. What would be more impressive if a celeb was actually genuine. Unlike many who are all about posing and trying to look flawless. I would love to see more celebs looking humble yet confident. That would be rebelling against the system!

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

Actually, I like it when they spit on it....oh-oh...TMI

Assault with battery. Judges take a very dim view of spitting battery, particularly with respect to communicable diseases. A and D may well find themselves giving up some blood for a full screen.

Nobody is going to jail, but some cash will change hands.

I always figured her for a non-swallower

http://www.celebslam.com

Slurpee's are great! I like the drinks too.

No one gives two shits about her in the US either.

Someone off the cunt and make her interesting quick.

That would be Dane Cook! "IT'S THE SOUND THAT MAKES ME PUNCH INFANTS!!!"

and P.S. I really want to challenge both of those shifty Canadians to a fight. I've met Derek and he was THE WORLD'S BIGGEST DOUCHE BAG!!! And as for Avril, if I ever hear her claiming to be punk again...I swear to God I'm going to shoot her in the face with a nail gun. That bitch didn't even know who the Sex Pistols were.

RETARTED

there's so much intensity in her "fuck you"s... I'm lost in admiration at her... 22 and saying "fuck you" with that little bitch's deep tone... wow. for you Avril: fuck-you. why isn't it working???? *disappointment*

What makes me really fucking pissed is that that talentless little cunt probably makes more money than all of us... and thinks she´s got the right to spit on other people.

Someone should just shoot her in the face.

You can hear her proudly tell the others in the car that she wrote "Fuck You" on her fan's photos. Wow. The "Fuck You" is going to be on Avril when masculine hubby Deryk gets a fan impregnated during a Sum 41 fair tour. Watching life suck the spunk out of this cunt is going to be pleasant. She's no Madonna, she can't even get an audience with a lesser devil to sell her useless soul (not that they would want the meager thing), and her career has the longevity of a David Gest erection.

she won't be too happy when all her little fans grow up & realize what a fake hack she is. This Canadian pig's 15 mins are up... why in god's name should she be pissed at the paparazzi? She should be happy someone still wants a picture of a diseased rat in prada.

She's an ugly little snaggle-toothed troll, isn't she? Avril needs to put on her big-girl undies today, and then prepare for me to get a running start when I punch her in the face.

Avril is a talentless, rank cunt who needs to be kicked in the neck by someone wearing golf cleats. I could just simply do without her. Is her "husband" a woman?

they look like the dirty skanky couple in junior high school who were ALWAYS engaged in PDA, carved their names in their arms with broken glass, she'd get upset when he got his ass beat by the jocks. Class acts.

Sorry to buck the trend, but I think it's pretty fucking hilarious that she spit on one of the photo-leeches. I don't give a shit about Avril Lavigne, but I don't give a shit about the paparazzi either. They're good company and spitting on each other seems to fit their pointless existence. I'm hoping that poop throwing will soon follow. Then, maybe ritual sacrifice or a mass suicide pact.

Is it plagerism if I steal a quote from my own site? I hope not:

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

That is an actual quote from me, to whoever was within earshot, the first time I heard the verbal bile from this little turd referred to as "Punk Rock." You know what Punk is? Punk is drinking alcohol from unlabeled bottles in a club in the middle of the city, the club that has no sign or name on the door. Punk is telling the establishment to lick your balls, then actually whipping them out on stage. Punk is the Sex Pistols, the Revolting Cocks, Too Drunk To Fuck, The Clash, and Ebba Groin.

Punk IS NOT some 16 year-old girl from Canada that wears her dad's ties and sings about Skating and going to the mall. Holy Crap! Every time I see a little tweenie in the mall wearing a Ramones shirt I want to yell like a crazed weasel "Take off the goddamn shirt, you haven't earned the right to be a punk, damnit!" Thank god for mall security and lithium.

PS - This article should be called:

"Avril Lavigne Spits on American Music."

I'd suggest a boycott on her, but, ummmm... what was her last hit? Sk8er Boi??? She needs to learn how to spit on herself and her career!

The Wu Tang Clan is more punk than this idiot.

if you dont want to be photographed dont go to fucking club hyde! is this the only club in all the land?? go somewhere else and you wont get photographed. if i were the paparzzi i'd smash her face in with my big camera lens.
i'd really love to kick her square in her vagina. yup, right in the baby maker. and i'd like to kick her "husband" right in his vagina too

Ok - I never post, but jrzmommy really cracked me up!

Either he is rubbing off on her or the Christian homeschool upbringing is making her think she's some kind of loogy spitting rebel.

Me thinks this is proof that homeschooling christian right crap makes kids into ungrateful twats.

Either he is rubbing off on her or the Christian homeschool upbringing is making her think she's some kind of loogy spitting rebel.

Me thinks this is proof that homeschooling christian right crap makes kids into ungrateful twats.

Either he is rubbing off on her or the Christian homeschool upbringing is making her think she's some kind of loogy spitting rebel.

Me thinks this is proof that homeschooling christian right crap makes kids into ungrateful twats.

Overpaid "singer" + spitting + video of it = a big payout. What a dumbass. I hope that skank has to pay big time.

When I think of punk I think of the Sex Pistols, the Dead Kennedys, Avril Lavigne-----wait! How'd she get in there??

How about, Punk--Jello Biafra and Johnny Rotten.... a snot-nosed little bitch-assed punk.....Avril Lavigibonfibndfo whatever her goddammed name is.

Dane Cook reference! Huzzah!

And Avril Lavigne needs to go away. Right now. Kthnx.

She's so punk...right up there with the Dead Kennedys

Someone should wack her, then make a punk group called the Dead Lavignes.

All I got to say to the paparazzis who got it: YOU LUCKY LUCKY BASTARDS! What wouldn't I give to be spat at in the face! I sometimes hang awake at night dreaming of being spat at in the face. They must think the sun shines out of your arse, sonny.

Uh, did they just spit on me?!

No, wait, did they just SPIT ON ME?!

HULK SMASH!!! HULK SMASH!!!!

http://www.blackbeatpress.com

Aw, they are sharing things they do together while drunk.

http://www.sidekickwallpaper.com/

I'll spit on Ms. Lavigne's face... with my freakishly long johnson.

"OH MY GOD IT'S THE SOUND THAT MAKES ME PUNCH INFANTS!!!!!"

Dane Cook. I love that mofo.

Wait a minute... Avril Lavigne is being to her fans? AVRIL LAVIGNE??? Doesn't she understand that she is sooo 2 years ago? She should be thankful that she has any fans left at all!

I grew up about 20 minutes from where she did and I can honestly say that I would give her something nice to spit shine!!!! It's a Canadian custom for skanky little bitches like her. The ones I "interacted" with were "talented" with their "vocal" abilities. Thumbs up for Napanee women!!!

Dane Cook is the reference! Now you owe me a freakin slurpee.

What about "The Dead Milkmen"?

♪ Just you and me, punk-rock girl ♫ !!

Note the hyphen Ferret

The Dead Milkmen are GODS that should be worshipped!

Bitchin' Camero!!

PS - Super-Secret Double-Bonus points for hyphen-use, Brain!

OH HOW I LOVE THE DEAD MILKMEN!!!! RIP MIKE BLOOD!

And now, FerretJones, although you seem like someone I should know and be all chummy with, I have to correct you on one thing...The Revolting Cocks are NOT punk rock. They're industrial.

I wanna make friends with the badger!

saying "she is sooo 2 years ago" is sooo last year

Dane Cook...

There better not be any infants around when I hear car alarms and Avril. Its bad news and can turn ugly.

Cunty poo!

BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO
I ran over my neighbors, BITCHIN CAMARAO, BITCHIN CAMARO,
Now it's in all the papers.
My folks bought me a BITCHIN CAMARO with no insurance to match;
So if you happen to run me down, please don't leave a scratch.
I ran over some old lady one night at the county fair;
And I didn't get arrested, because my dad's the mayor.
BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO
Doughnuts on your lawn
BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO
Tony Orlando and Dawn
When I drive past the kids, they all spit and cuss,
Because I've got a BITCHIN CAMARO and they have to ride the bus.
So you'd better get out of my way, when I run through your yard;
Because I've got a BITCHIN CAMARO;
And an Exxon credit card.
BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO
Hey, man where ya headed?
BITCHIN CAMARO, BITCHIN CAMARO
I drive on unleaded

That song kicked ass.............

The closest that little Hot Topic tart is gonna get to punk is when I assfuck her to "Beef Bologna".

68 - Thanks ya "Guinea Horse". :)

Stupid fucking Americans. Just because Avril is from Canada you think everyone Canadian is like that? I don't know anyone, and I mean ANYONE that gives 2 shits about Avril or her pathetic music. And have NEVER heard anyone say "aboot" either. The vast majority of Canadians don't live in the Maritimes dumbasses. But then again, I'm directing my comments to a bunch of Paris Hiltons and OJ Simpsons, aren't I?

I agree with giggles, when are they going to be arrested? here's a nice fuck you right back to the both of them...they are disgusting, unappreciative, sick bastards who need to be spit on right back. the only thing those people were doing was taking pictures and asking for autographs, and they behave like that? send em back to the trailer park and take away the money and fame, fucking shits.

I was oot & aboot at a Canucks game last week and got drunk on Molson's and then got some hookers and watched "Strange Brew" while they sucked my balls and I felt dirty afterwards... then listsned to Avril Lavigne and all was right with the world again. eh.

#40 Right the FUCK ON!!!!

Punks don't get married in a Vera Wang fucking gown when they are 21 and dance their first dance to a Goo Goo Dolls top 40 song.

#73- I thought you were a hot chick??

Click the link, and see where all the cool kids hangout.

Isn't it so cute when the has-beens think the paparazzi are there to take pictures of them? The photogs hang out at Hyde to see if Hohan breaks another limb, or to see Paris hook up with (I mean go down on) yet another guy, not to get that great candid shot of....Avril.

Get a clue, nobody remembers who you are, nobody cares that either of you had a hit song years ago, please get over yourselves.

#75 I am... I just play the part when I feel the need to make fun of douchebuckets.

I can see where your coming from, me being a douchebucket myself.

I like to think of you more as douchesolution, not a bucket. cheers!

Baby punching reference from The Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox.

I definitely flew to Seattle to go to his book signing.

The bitch probably just got finished swallowing Deryck's man chowder making for a thick nasty loogie she could hurl 20 feet. Might have even broken that photog's nose.

#80, not Maddox, Dane Cook, and if Maddox did indeed put that in his book, it means that loser is out of original material. Not that bitching about the world is really original to begin with.

Or you could just be slightly retarded. Take your pick.

now now come on guys.. this is the chick that gave us sk8er boi... she means well...

#71 - Look, I'm glad you're are 51st state and all but I have to admit, I'm kinda glad you guys can't elect anyone to Congress. Please consider yourselves the French-Eskimo version of Puerto Rico or Guam. Just like we appreciate the Dominican Republic for supplying Major League Baseball with shortstops and outfielders, we are grateful for your generous donation of marginal talent and tree sap. Please return Avril to whereever you people put people like her. Many thanks for the Filipino hotties in Toronto and the hydroponic weed.

I better know the punching babies joke. I was at the show on the cd.

I envision a day where is Avril Lavigne wants to spit on people who try and take her picture, she has to look a lot harder to find them.

You may say I'm a dreamer, I'm not the only one.

http://www.reidaboutit.com

#71- i take offense to what you said, as i finish up my my sex tape and murder my wife, how dare you for classifying all of us americans as vain capitalist consumers, my trophy wife and i are giving you the evil eye sir, if it wasnt for the fact im overweight and under-educated id find you and give you an earful

oh yeah avril is a dumb bitch

If you want me to side with either Avril or the camera jockeys who follow her around, sorry, can't do it. They're ALL a bunch of assholes. If someone gets close enough to Avril for her to reach them with her Canadian phlegm, then good on her. And if one day she spits on the wrong person and he/she punches her right in her blonde Canadian face, someone please get video of it so I can laugh my ass off.

They must be getting followed by canadian paparazzi because no one in america cares at all about these two.

Boo fucking hoo, paparazzi are just as bad as the pampered brats. I don't feel bad for what either side does to the other.

Speaking of wanna-be punks, This reminds me of when Rancid opened for the Ramones in KC back in 90 something- 2 of the fucks from Rancid started spitting on the fans & throwing shit– when about 2,000 people started chucking every piece of trash, every bottle, dirt claud, or rocks they could find. Armstrong and one of the other assholes were cowering, clutching their faces as they were pelted with rocks, and Armstrong was hit square in the jaw with a dirt claud. I still laugh when I think back to it.

Punk is fucking dead - it use to be a mindset now it's a title for every over paid whiney talentless narcissistic fucktard who sports a specific clothing style, doesn’t brush their hair, & treats others like shit.
These people make me fucking sick, they’re paid millions to have their picture taken and sing a couple of songs and in a world plagued with famine & war they have the fucking nerve to complain about how “frustrating” it is to have their picture taken in public. You know what’s fucking frustrating having your home blown up by an IED or seeing the faces of millions of starving children who have nothing- she’s got a $200,000 wedding dress they’re eating dirt. I hope she dies of AIDS.

Reminds me of that Agent Orange song “Bored of You”

claud?

claud:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/claud

clod:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/clod

Claude Balls:

See british actor, circa early 1930's

I would like my Slurpee now, since I totally get the reference (Dane Cook anyone)!

Great. I had completely forgotten about Avril until you posted this. THanks, Superfish.

http://www.edquartersaudio.com

She might as well change her name to "Douchebag Lavigne" or just "Douchebag," then she can be like "Madonna"

I'd love to see her jump out of Hyde next week and expect heaps of photographers and cameras to notice her. And when they DO see her and Derylicktmahballs exiting the club, they could all turn their cameras off and walk away looking disapointed while she stands there trying desperately to seem angstful to her husband. And then he slowly slides a few feet to the left.

Snap, you ugly bitch.

I want a Diet Coke Slurpie please, because Dane Cook is a silly bitch.

I almost got really mad thawt you stole from Dane Cook, but as long at you're referring to it as a reference, kudos to you friend. Diet Coke Slurpie please, because Dane Cook is a silly bitch. Did I already say that?

Yes, I believe I did =] oops sorry everyone.

Anyone ever see the opening scene in that movie "The Way of the Gun?" What happened to Sarah Silverman in that movie needs to happen to Lavigne. And her husband also needs his ass kicked for spitting on people (he spat on a photog while riding with Paris Hilton)

She is not 22

Because it's a rainy Sunday and I am bored I just wanted to say that people who think Dane Cook is funny need to reevaluate their existence.

Biatcho, everything you've said on this site has been borderline retarded, therefore you have absolutely no say in what is or is not funny. Thank you and good day.

that's awesome... more celebrities should be doing this and encouraging the rest of the pop culture obsessed to GET A LIFE OF THEIR OWN

rocknroll... at least I am not a 37 year old who still thinks dock marten boots, skinny black jeans, punk rock & fauxhawks are "the shit". And apparently you have a major crush on Dane Cook, which is especially "rock", considering he's done movies with Jessica Simpson. That's cool!

Now go ease your pain with some Avril Lavigne & eat a shotgun.

and there's nothing I love more than adding some newbie dickwad to my list of people who I plan on chasing away from here... sweet! I hope it's a slow work week this week!!

Hyde will let Avril Lavigne in, but not Tara Reid? I would love to see how they make that subtle distinction between C- and D-list.

http://popanalysis.blogspot.com

LMAO! Chase ME away? Bitch, please. And I'm not even close to 37...I'm 20. So basically, I'm the woman every man has left you for. And when it comes to Dane Cook, I'm a huge fan. I'm not too excited about this new movie with Jessica Simpson, and I lost respect for him as a person while watching Tourgasm and seeing what a bitch he is when he doesn't get his way, but as a comedian, he's fucking hilarious. It doesn't have to be intelligent, it doesn't have to send a message, it's just supposed to be funny. And I've met the man...I have pics with him up on my myspace from the time my mom bought me a fake ID just to get into the Improv to meet him. I also flew to Boston to attend the taping of his HBO special. If all you have to do is "chase people" off a fucking celebrity bullshit news website, then your life makes me really sad. While you're sitting here reading about the life you wish you had, I'm out living it. Eat a cock. Good day.

71--"Stupid fucking Americans. Just because Avril is from Canada you think everyone Canadian is like that? .... But then again, I'm directing my comments to a bunch of Paris Hiltons and OJ Simpsons, aren't I? "
Okay, so, dummy, do I need to point out the irony within your comment?? Or will reading it back for yourself be sufficient enough for you to see what an absolute douche you are?

112--As a 37 year old woman I can honestly say there's not a 20 year old GIRL in this world with whom I would ever want to change places with. 20 year olds are sloppy, immature, unsophisticated, insecure and sexual novices -- unless you're the town cum dump (think Lohan!). Plus, at age 37, I make a LOT of money -- thankyouverymuch -- which allows me the pleasure of giving my family a very comfortable life and travelling around the world with them.
I'd bet you a $1,000 that my body is in way better shape than yours, but I'd have to wait about 10 years until you get a real job to be able to pay up.

109--HEY HEY HEY HEY!!!!!!! Where's the love? I'm 37 and I just wore my Doc's this weekend. :)

ill take that free slurpee coup! i get it. hee hee... "oil is my blood.. seat belts.... radio knobs...... "

jrzmommy...unless your measurements are better than 34(C)-24-34, I highly doubt your body is better than mine. As far as the money thing goes, I'm in college full time and I also work full time making $13/hr, which yeah, probably not as much as you make, but it's a hell of a lot more than most people my age make. I have a blast on a daily basis. My life rules. I get to party with rockstars, and no I'm not a groupie. I'm the girl all the bands ditch the groupies for because I'm not all about sex and being the town jizz jar, I'm about partying and having a good time. I also make money taking professional pictures for bands at their shows. So I'm not doing too bad.

jrz - no disrespect to you at all. you know I have the love! It does seem as if we have found ourselves another 20 year old asshat who has the mentality of a 15 year old and thinks she rules the world. She gets cofffee for a music producer & answers his phone & thinks she "meets" celebs... it's HILARIOUS!

And RNR chick, the more you feel the need to describe yourself & hand out your cup & waist sizes the more we are all going to think you're a fat-ass cow so don't even go there. Continue getting coffee, donuts & blow jobs for music producers... while I, on the other hand, continue to work in the TV & Film insustry and actually get to converse with people like Liev Schreiber & John Turturro... they vail in comparison to Dane Cook (insert sarcastic cough here) but they're pretty chill guys who like to smoke butts with me in the secret indoor smoking room I found for them at our edit facility.

biatcho: bingo. this one's such a newbie that she really thinks they like her for "her mind."

Yeah, I wish I knew her real name so I could keep an eye out for some groupie chick that ends up dead from an ass-raping heroine overdose in the hotel room of Travis Barker.

Now now, biatcho, she's about partying and having a good time, not the sex, so the ROCKSTARS wouldn't do that to her. She'll be found in a hotel room dead at the hands of someone's 45-year old, balding, spare-tire having CPA husband. Remember, family men up and leave their families and wives at the mere sight of her.

Wow, you guys totally misinterpreted what I said, but whatever. I'm not hanging out with dirtbag rockstars like Kid Rock (or Travis Barker who I've always hated) or some lame shit like that. I'm talking Every Time I Die, The Used, My Chemical Romance, Unwritten Law, Mindless Self Indulgence, Senses Fail, Jimmy Eat World, Gwar, etc. Most of which I'm sure someone of your generation has no idea about. And for someone who has a family and so much money, you sure to seem to be awfully concerned with someone you don't even know. Why don't you spend more time thinking about them and less time worrying about what lame excuse for an insult you're going to come up with for a person who not only doesn't give a shit, but has too much of a life to want to continue such a petty, insignifigant internet argument? Yeah, for a 37 year old you sure have some crazy priorities. This will be my last correspondence with the two old hags who have no lives outside of work, children, and starting shit with people over the internet...your lives are my worst fear realized. It almost makes me glad though, because it just makes me realize how lucky I am that I'll never be as pathetic as you. :)

i heart gwar... they, like, totally rock!

she sure gots alot to say for someone who doesn't give a shit. well, what's the tally up to now, biatcho? let's see, there was DanYELL the Cunt, Sarah Jean the Lilac Queen, Star Maker Machinery, Stacy the Delusional Greek Whore and now the Pamela DesBarres/Annie Leibovitz wannabe. hee hee.

We should come up with a fun tagteam wrestling nickname for ourselves & get RichPort involved. Together we can rid the Superficial world of teenagers & retards and keep it to good, dirty fun for us adults who can handle criticism with good old fashioned ass-reamings in return.
We can call ourselves the Old Farts or Golden Girls since they all seem to think people in their 30s are old hags.

biatch--we gotta get Commissioner in on it, too. And RichPort could be our Captain Lou Albano sorta guy. 30 IS the new 70, according to the wisdom of these 20 year old walking books of life wisdom.

the more the merrier I say! Then maybe it'll get like it used to be around here... ah the old days. Can I be Brutus the Barber Beefcake?

I wanna be macho mommy randy savage

Jimmy Superfly Biatcho?

excellent.

I just happened to read a response I hadn't read before, which was 116, and I just want to correct you on one very important factor...I don't work for a music producer. I have no desire to go into the music industry. I have a job that I don't even plan on being at for the rest of my life, just the rest of college. I work for EMG Alarm Services...big friggin' deal. I'm the youngest person there, and I'm not even at entry level. You work in the TV and Movie industry huh? Well then you must know my cousin Maria Crenna, the Executive VP of Paramount Television? In June when I come out to LA for our family reunion, which is being hosted by Penni Crenna, the widow of my late Uncle Richard Crenna, I'm going to have a visit with the hilarious Patton Oswalt. Now don't tell me you have something against him too?

Oh and also...here's your proof that I'm not a "fat cow"

http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l188/xlipslikesugarx/MeatTimsparty.jpg
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l188/xlipslikesugarx/MeattheClub.jpg
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l188/xlipslikesugarx/MeattheBachelorsBall.jpg
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l188/xlipslikesugarx/Meandthebestmartiniever.jpg
Damn, even without makeup I look good...
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l188/xlipslikesugarx/MeandMatt.jpg
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l188/xlipslikesugarx/MeandLynn.jpg

Don't worry, I'm used to jealousy from other females. Especially older ones.

I hadn't read all of 116 before and I really feel the need to clear one very important thing up...I am not anywhere near being a fat cow...in fact, that's LAUGHABLE! I'm used to getting outlashed at by females, especially older ones, because of their jealousy. And I'll bet you're going to ask why I can't show pics? Well here you go bitches...

http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l188/xlipslikesugarx/MeatTimsparty.jpg
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l188/xlipslikesugarx/MeandLynn.jpg
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l188/xlipslikesugarx/MeattheClub.jpg
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l188/xlipslikesugarx/MeattheBachelorsBall.jpg
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l188/xlipslikesugarx/Meandthebestmartiniever.jpg

And even without makeup I look better than you ever did...
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l188/xlipslikesugarx/MeandMatt.jpg

Suck it.

#115 - What were you before the surgery?

#123 - ... Are you ladies planning my future without me? Look, I saw R&R's pics (if those weren't taken from a GGW video) and I could swear she was smoking my sausage just last week, and I hadn't bathed or shaved in days. I just remember reaching down and manhandling tits so fake they felt like my erection... which of course is not fake, or augmented... but I digress. The best thing about 20 year olds is they'll do what ever you ask: ATM, girl on girl, salad tossing, tea bagging... all in the name of colege experimentation. Young girls are also psycho... one pearl necklace and they think they can climb up your fire escape and take pictures of you sleeping. Scary bitches. In closing, I'd love to manage your WWE ladies tag team, as long as I get to hit someone with a fucking folding chair.

I see Miss Fake ID just couldn't stay away.

Ya know, my six year old daughter has started saying, She's jealous of me! She's just jealous!! Don't be so jealous....about some girl at school. But that's okay because she's six and she just learned a new word and that's a typical six-year-old-girl response to things. HOWEVER--coming from a 20 year old, it just sounds...I dunno.....pathetic? And posting pictures of yourself to PROVE how pretty you think you are to a bunch of yahoos like us is sad and SCREAMS insecurity.

129--(and #130--just in case it didn't post the first time, she paraphrased and posted it for us again!!!) Seriously, you're a joke.....this isn't jealous backlash, this is people thinking you're an asshole....now run away before someone drops a house on you, too.

ok, i now have to go find a mop because I just fucking pissed all over myself and it's dripping all over the floor.

I can't stop laughing at how pathetic this all is. It's way funnier than anything patton Oswalt has ever done because he's never done anything funny. He was given a chance on mr. Show with Bob 7 David (greatest show on the planet) but he is a nobody still riding on David Cross' coattails.

Oh &, hhmm let's see my father is Dee Snyder and my mother is, uuuhh, Sally Feild and I get a lot of friends because of that so GO SCREW. And I also have the biggest tits & smallest waist in all the land so whatever (making W sign with my fingers).

That Dane Cook reference made me laugh.
Thanks you so much. :)

@120:

ALL of those "bands" suck. They are NOT rock, they are just a bunch of whiney closet cases that wear girls pants, have shitty haircuts, and write shit songs where they whine about the pain of their upper-middle-class life and getting beat up in high school by the HOT guys. And poor Richard Crenna, being related to a stupid, snotty cunt like you must be a real kick in the balls for a cool guy like him. I loved him in the Rambo movies, but I guess you can't pick your family, too bad for him. Unfortunately he didn't seem to teach you to STFU and not brag about shit that isn't all that fucking special. Ohh, BFD, YOU hang out with...Patton Oswalt and some shit emo bands! Whooptee doo, you get a cookie! Yeah, us old hags are SOO JEALOUS, OMGZ LOLZ WTF!!11one! UR SOO much kewler than us, OMGZ! Obnoxious whore, and just so you know, you are NOT anything to write home about, much less leave a spouse for. My dog's asshole has more personality and is more attractive than you, especially when she lets a rotten fart rip. And not everyone WANTS to be a cum-guzzling moped for the whole music industry to take a ride on (fun to ride until your friends see you), some of us actually pursue careers that we can be PROUD of...but I'm sure you know nothing about the emotion known as PRIDE, all you seem to know about is vainglory and boasting about shit that isn't all that spectacular. Now, I think I hear one of the flaming fags from Taking Back Sunday, or whichever emo-homo band you name-dropped calling for their favorite spunk-rag....buh-BYE little whore, don't come back until you learn how to RESPECT YOUR ELDERS, and I'm only 24, but I can GUARANTEE you that I'm WAY more successful than you will ever, in your WILDEST dreams, hope to be, and I got that way without riding the coattails of OTHER people's accomplishments, or dropping their names to make myself look more important. Yeah, and BTW, I'M related to Kaiser Wilhelm of Germany, but that and 35 cents will get me a newspaper, so WTF does it matter? Jesus fucking CHRIST!

A billion points if YOU know who Kaiser Wilhelm is without Googling him...but since you only seem to know the names of irrelevant, shit-assed bands, I'd be willing to bet you have not the slightest idea who he is. Go read a book, whore, when you have something to be proud of, you will realize that all this bragging is pointless and just makes people hate you even more.

she's such a stuck up bitch

Wait? Didn't she do any interview or something saying she wasn't as famous as britney because she didn't do crazy attention getting shit?? am I the ONLY one seeing a pattern here...?

BTW the bitch is not punk rock and should be kicked in the stomach for trying to be.

case in point * Ahem*
"Hey hey, you you, I don't like your girlfriend..."

* crricketss*

OOOOH THATS IT IF THE GIRL WHANT 2 SPIT ON THEM ITS OK
AND ALL OF U THAT HATE HER FUUUUCK U ALL
SHES ALOT BETTER AND COOLER THAN U
ATLEAST SHE MADE SOTHIN OF HER SELF NOT U MOTHAFUCKRS
STAYN AT HOME AND SAYING:((MOM I WHANT 110 DOLLER)) SHE MAKES HER MONEY BUY WORKIN NOT LIKE THOES BICTHS HOW MAKE SEX GUST 4 MONEY
WILL HILL YA SHES BETTER THAN ALL YA

Well, what would YOU do if you had a big crowd of people around you seeking your autograph and getting your picture? I don't think "Can you please leave me alone" is gonna do anything. She wants a life AWAY from the paparazzi! I'm kick everyone in the you-know-whats if there was a permanent group of people following me around for the rest of life. Give the girl a break! Leave her alone and go get a life rather than sitting here writting hate-comments about someone you don't even know personally.
It wasn't exactly her decision to be "famous" she wanted to write music and she did. People liked it, bought it, the paparazzi caught on and here we are.
Hell yeah her music isn't "punk", but she didn't say she was either, eh? "Punk" is being who you are and not copying everyone else. Believing in what you believe in. I don't care about other peoples opinions. This is mine. Anyone who thinks they are "punk" for liking the sex pistols,whatever, wear punk clothing they copied from sid vicious, go around swearing like its the only word the can say, is a POSER. Which gives me the impression that most of the people here are also posers. If you don't know what anarchy is, you have another thing comming, and don't even dare ask me what a poser is, coz basicly, you are one. I don't have a problem with anyone unless they have a problem with me.
"Punk is drinking alcohol from unlabeled bottles in a club in the middle of the city, the club that has no sign or name on the door. Punk is telling the establishment to lick your balls, then actually whipping them out on stage." - Sorry that doesn't make you punk either. Makes you seem poserish.
You're all gonna disagree with me, but I don't give 2 craps.
Sexist arse-wipes.

I don't like the paparazzi, they need to get real jobs. I think I'll make an exception for Avril though.

I don't like the paparazzi, they need to get real jobs. I think I'll make an exception for Avril though.