Sep 27 2006Anna Nicole Smith's lawyer is her baby's father

I thought in order to father children you have to have testicles.

Ah, ha...

The plot thickens.

oh my. Its like watching an episode of Passions! Next thing you know, Tabitha will come by and bring Daniel back to life!

Yeah yeah yeah we all know ... but how did the boy die??

Hawt.

I wish she would gain some weight back. She'd look better and it's always fun to make fun of fat chicks.

Holy Shit. I honestly didn't see that coming.

Nope, not surprised here. I'm sure alot of you guessed this long ago.

Wanna bet they didn't even fuck eachother? I bet it's a test tube baby. I'm convinced Howard looks like a Ken doll down there anyway.

A-FUCKING-HEM.....TO QUOTE THE MOMMY:

Posted by jrzmommy on September 14, 2006 7:58 AM

"...I also think that he [the son] got into a fight with the "lawyer" because he didn't want HIM there at this family event. but then
[V]anna told Darnell [sic] that Harold [sic]is the baby's father, and the lawyer and the son got into a fight and the son was killed during it, because he was too high to fight."

Come on.....we all know that's how it went down. Please send all checks made payable to Jrzmommy's Mystery Solvers and Martini Bar in Atlantic City....thank you thank you...really, your applause is unnecessary...thank you....please take your seats.....

Some genius on this site (aren't we all?) said a week or two ago that this guy was in love with her. So this didn't come as a complete surprise. Makes me want to Netflix her show now to catch up on all of the players.

And ewww. Howard looks like Chuck Palahniuk's evil gay (gay-er) twin brother resurrected from the grave, btw.

I hope David Hasselhoff's cat gets custody of this little girl because as it stands, that murderous cat has more parenting skills than this douche and that fat ugly fucking whore.

Are we really that surprised?

No, nobody is surprised. And why the hell does Larry King always have to be wearing suspenders? Is that his "thing"? It's gay. Gayer than Chuck Palahniuk's evil more-gay twin brother resurrected from the grave.

who is chuck palahniuk?

and why does Larry King's shoulders have to start immediately after his chin?

Can we assume Robin Quivers is the niece?

and why do Larry King's shoulders have to start immediately after his chin?

Welch's Grape Juice drinkin' motherfucker.....

It was bound to happen, he's crawled so far up her butt he was bound to leave a little something behind. I love the pictures of him and Larry King, they look like they went on a bender together.

Larry King looks particularly sinister in that shot. And, IIIIIIIII, his shoulders aren't too high, it's just an illusion created by the giant, drooping jowls and compressed vertabrae of the ancient caucasian male.

Am I the only one that's happy for her? I say good for them. At least she has a person that loves her for her.He's been through everything with her.
I really do think he loves her. Anyone who watched the Anna Nicole Show could see it in his eyes.

I did not hear, the interview, but Mr. Stern looks like a man who still employs the phrase "Badda Bing, Badda Boom." On Saturday nights, this breed can still be found in Webster Hall.

22--you are being sarcastic, aren't you?

Yeah I hope #22 is sarcastic

http://wampoon.com

You could tell he tapped that ass. Look at his smug look.

http://www.celebslam.com

Posted by griffmills on September 27, 2006 8:16 AM

Can we assume Robin Quivers is the niece?

Ummm, wrong Howard Stern. However, both Sterns are unattractive bozos.

http://myspace.com/ihateperezhilton

If #22 isn't being sarcastic, she should be taught the meaning of the word sarcastic!

Hi Ferret.

Larry King reminds me of Beavis, for some reason.

http://myspace.com/ihateperezhilton

I only saw the part of the interview in which Mr. Stern admitted ANS is his ONLY client.

"Loves her for her" bank account, most likely.

Wonder if he would still love her back at the trailer camp outside of Houston?

I agree with 22 (No I don't think it was sarcastic.) I only watched her show a couple of times, but the Stern Guy was so obviously in love with her it was ridickerous. I doubt she loves him back half as much, and I actually wouldn't be surprised if he is just claiming the kid as his since there is no babydaddy for that child anyway and Anna Nicole needs one. But that kids going to have a much better existence with a father around who can hold down a job and stay off of the loopy meds.

Howard Stern is the best thing to ever happen to A.Nicole.

Howard Stern's lips really do bother me...am I the only one? When you cover his face from the nose up you're left with the Grinch who stole Christmas. Is it just me?

Howard was making out with Anna during her show once so it is not surprising.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

I'm not sure here, Larry looks mighty suspicious. Let's let Maury handle this.

How dare he take advantage of a mentally challenged person!

And just so everyone knows, they've been sleeping together pretty much since they met, so this is of no surprise. And Jews love tits...it's Science.

"Posted by jrzmommy on September 27, 2006 8:12 AM
who is chuck palahniuk?"

Are you kidding? Try googling it. If that doesnt work here are some hints: Author, Fight Club, Choke

Or you could try reading something other than words on a computer monitor.

Jrzmommy, *reminder* please triple, quadruple check your retalitory response to #37. Please lets not make the same OUI error that has been made in the past

*retaliatory

#21 Larry does have a certain Darth Sidious look going on.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darth_Sidious

Larry!

A Sith Lord!

It suddenly all makes sense.

37--I like reading words in Obituaries....especially ones that say, "MadelBlue, random fuck commenter on Thesuperficial.com, dropped dead today when a house landed on top of him/her." That, to me, is poetry.

I love it too...Pure Maya Angelou type @#$*

Doesn't anyone else just think it's HILARIOUS that this guy's name is Howard Stern?

It's like you are destined from birth to be trashy and weird if you are named Howard Stern. Like some secret Jewish curse.

Poor Danilynn...she's gonna have one hell of a honker.

I totally knew it was his baby. It surprises me that he lets her fuck other guys though. That blonde guy seems pretty damned sure it's HIS kid.

I knew it. He has hitched his wagon to her, becoming her toady and now, her baby daddy so he can lock into her money (if it ever comes in)

BULLSHIT! I happen to know the guy that knocked her up, and this guy ain't it.

I won't use his real name. Let's just call him "Brian Ambolism". He is a huge poon-hound, and nailed her at a Bar Mitzvah in January.

He is a man ho!

38, oui. I checked un, deux, trois and, OUI, MadelBlue is the...ahh...how do you say.....derriere de cochon....oui oui.

Did this guy get his law degree on the internet? I mean, what the fuck? PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY... say it with me. He was obviously drunk and horny one night, and decided to plant his seed in her rancid soil. No way I, or any dick respecting man, would ever take responsibilty for this future pill addict. And someone get lawyer boy a comb.

#19 & 42 - You're killing me today.

I wasn't really paying attention, and then for about 30 seconds, when I heard the name Howard Stern, I thought, "Holy crap, Howard Stern and Anna Nicole hooked up?"
Wrong Stern. My bad.

Of all the gigs in entertainment, being Anna Nicole's (alleged) baby daddy has got to be one of the worst. If I was a guy and choosing the perfect vessel for my DNA, Anna Nicole would be WAY down on the list, maybe even below Courtney Love and Lindsay Lohan. Fat, skinny, fat, skinny, fat... that shit will mess you up almost as bad as the drugs. I'm quite frankly surprised any of her eggs still worked. I had assumed they'd all been ruined, like shriveled up or something by all the dieting and pharmaceuticals.

Hey, wasn't her old-ass husband's name Howard? Does she have a thing for Howards? Who's next? Howard Dean? Ron Howard? Howard University? If I was anybody named Howard, I'd keep a sharp eye out for her, just in case.

I thought Daniel was the father. Howard was my second choice. Its like we dont even have to make this stuff up. It really happens to famous and not so famous people.

Hell, keep her liquored up and on full schedule of meds, and I would hit that bitch hard. Then flip her over and do her again. As she ages, you just know that she's going to get dirtier and dirtier, and I like a dirty girl.

He's like the creepy nerd in the neighborhood that the hot girl feels sorry for. She lets him hang out in her garage while she's vacuuming her car but he runs home whenever her boyfriend comes over.

He got rid of the son, now theres nothing standing in the way of him getting her money.

I'm not surprised. He followed her around on her show like a lost puppy dog. Only a matter of time before she was jacked up so much on pills and booze that she mistook him for her dildo. He has the same personality as a dildo sitting on the night stand anyway.

53--The only thing standing in his way of getting "her" money is E. Pierce Marshall.

No, I wasn't kidding nor was I being sarcastic. Even in all the madness you could tell that he really loved her. Maybe he's just what she needs to get back on the right track. Even ANS needs some to lean on.

Nine months ago, Anna Nicole obviously was too coked out to realize that the Howard Stern she was sleeping with wasn't the correct Howard Stern.
Honest mistake, that's what I say.

#50- I heard about twins seperated at birth. When they met, they had everything in common including building benches around trees, owning little dogs which named "toy," and marrying girls named "Linda." So, maybe Anna does have some funky genetic wiring that makes her go after Howards.

56--The Good Ship Lollipop is now boarding for Oz, Strawberry Fields and Candyland.....ALL ABOARD!!!!

Oh fuck off. LOL :)
I'm as cynical as they come, but I can't deny that I'm happy for her.

#4

Ok, here is what really happened... seeing how Howard K. Stern is one of those DEVILISH JEWS, he cooked up a FIENDISH plan... he was not going to allow anything or anyone to stand between the hundreds of millions of dollars that Anna is going to be getting soon, and his very own love child with her... you see if the boy ‘Daniel’ was around he would have first rights to all that glorious cash and not his own ‘evil-spunk-creation’ baby... So, he took Anna, Daniel and the whole gang to the tropics for a fun filled vacation, and a little MURDER!!! When no one was watching, he plied the unsuspecting boy with lots of booze and just enough undetectable designer antidepressant drugs to push the poor kid off the edge and into his DOOM... His hands were red with MURDER!

The rest is what we like to say in the gum-shoe trade ‘history’... his progeny (and he, by proxy) are now the first in line for the kings fortune... Well done, you rat faced, son-of-a-bitch, kike Jew bastard... Well done indeed... THE END...

Or is it!?!?!?!

#57 - HAHA!

It's all about her money. They can get married, he can write up some agreement about how much he'll get if they divorce, convince her it means something else and get her to sign it while she's messed up. Why else would any lawyer degrade himself with years of Anna Nicole worship in front of millions of people. Any what law firm what ever give him a job?

In most jurisdictions a lawyer can be disbarred for having sex with a client, unless that is, if they were having sex before he became her lawyer. Come to think about it, he is probably safe... if you were an adult male in 1993 there is a pretty good chance you had sex with Anna Nicole.

whereas Anna has always made me feel embarassed for her and nauseated; this guy always made me feel slimy just seeing him.

They need to go ahead and have a betrothal ceremony between this child and either of the K-Fuck/Spears Spawn.....

In 15 years that would make some GREAT television.... the girl child wandering around eating peanut butter and mayo sandwiches mumbling, "you like my body" and the Fed kid doing the exotic bird neck thing and trying to prove how "cred" he is......

Wow-great parents-a hick and a dick!

he's the dad, but it's not what you think. daniel sucked him off, then snowballed directly into mom. you may think it's weird, but they used to call it "Friday night."

@47- Wow Ferret. The guy that you claimed knocked her up, this "Brian Ambolism".
He has a similar name to mine.

What a twist!

"# 55: 55. Posted by jrzmommy on September 27, 2006 11:04 AM
The only thing standing in his way of getting "her" money is E. Pierce Marshall."

Um, aparently you DONT read obits either. Cause Pierce Marshall DIED. There isnt anyone standing in the way of her money.

You suck. That is all.

Does anyone notice how devasting his facial expression is? Poor guy, he knows his child is going to be half idiot.

To #34...That would be awesome! Someone write to Maury let him know he needs to find the father!

Bababooey

70--Yeah, yeah. So besides sitting on your fat ass all day collecting bed sores and random factoids, what else do you do? do us all a favor and go take a handful of Zoloft, methadone and Lexapro, the results, if nothing else, will make you seem a little less annoying.

You're the one who relentlessly comments on this board. I just call 'em like I see 'em. It's not my fault you're stupid; I do appreciate that you had to resort to calling me some stupid names to look better. You win teh internets.

I will probably regret getting in this but here goes:

#1: E Pierce Marshall STILL stands in her way - it is HIS ESTATE which has issued statements that they will continue in his steed to stop her from inheriting. SO. Even dead he is standing in her way - why do you think the Supreme Court is involved????

75--Stalker much? You must be pretty tired sitting up all night waiting for me to reply to your investigative research on E. Pierce Marshall's dead body. Ugh. Okay, you can go to bed now, tell Sarah Jean we all said hi.

I disagree with you all. The only thing standing in his way to getting "her" money is that vacuum-sealed void between her ears. If she ever visits an otologist, there will be an audible hissing sound... much like the sound of me letting the air out of your tires in the mall parking lot. Yes you fuckers, that was me. TSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

I love when people comment about how many times others comment. It really just means the accusing commenters are reading all of the the other commenters' comments. Am I the only commenter who sees this commenting irony? Any comments are welcome.

78--I have a comment, to comment on your comment. May I commence commenting?

Come on and comment away! I commonly comment about commiserating commenter's comments by commencing commemorative commentary. It usually results in my being repeatedly redundant.

Repeated redundancy regarding retarded retorts results in redundant retarded replies. Really.

Realistically, I reread your renditon repeatedly. My reasoning? Reaching realms recently regarded as repulsive really remains my reaction to some of these recidivist rejects.

I think I sprained my tonugue...

Rejoice, Rich! The reject has retreated from reasserting their ridiculousness and replicating their retardedness with recurring remarks.

I now need a Terrell Owens cocktail.

guess the sarah jean comment scared her off.

can't the just do a for sure check instead of believing every wacko?