August 30, 2006
Suri Cruise gets art dedicated to her crap
The lameass artist that brought us this is making another grab for attention by "shocking" the world with his latest masterpiece: a bronze sculpture inspired by Suri Cruise's first poop. The work will go on display today, but won't actually contain any of Suri Cruise's poop.
"Babies mostly breastfeed for the first four months, so a baby's first meal of solid food may be a baby's first meal at the dinner table," said David Kesting, the director of Capla Kesting Fine Art, located in Brooklyn's Williamsburg gallery district. "A bronzed cast of baby's first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family.""It's partially a statement on modern media that 'celebrity poop' has more entertainment value than health, famine or other critical issues facing society and governments today," the Capla crew said in a statement, "and also the absurdity of the media coverage on Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' new baby, Suri Cruise, which has reached stellar proportions, eclipsing far more notable events with more substance."
I'm all for poking fun at the media coverage surounding Suri Cruise, but I still find it slightly less offensive than the media coverage surrounding this. Maybe if the artist didn't have a history of putting together ridiculous celebrity art. Or have me totally convinced he's a publicity whore. No doubt within the next couple months this guy is going to announce a statue inspired by all of Paris Hilton's vaginal diseases. Ooh, so shocking. Pay attention to this guy, he's a real shocker.
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Comments
1. Posted by jrzmommy on August 30, 2006 11:49 AM
his rendition of mans' inhumanity toward man.
How about he does a cast bronze of a 30' penis and call it Tom's Adoration of the Cock.
2. Posted by Cruzadas on August 30, 2006 11:50 AM
May we call this man a crap pedophile?
3. Posted by cat_taylor on August 30, 2006 11:51 AM
holy shit.
4. Posted by Cruzadas on August 30, 2006 11:51 AM
BTW, where's suri?
5. Posted by DancingQueen on August 30, 2006 11:55 AM
This is so retarded.
6. Posted by jrzmommy on August 30, 2006 11:56 AM
yes this is retarded, but THIS is fucking classic!!
http://www.nbc4.com/entertainment/9762628/detail.html
7. Posted by bigponie on August 30, 2006 11:56 AM
I am a blooming artiste myself, and for my next exhibition I would like to cover Tom under six feet of dirt.
8. Posted by RichPort on August 30, 2006 11:58 AM
How about a bronze of TC's poop, I mean career, I mean, aw fuck it... they're both getting flushed down the ol' porcelain throne anyway.
9. Posted by CelebSlam.com on August 30, 2006 12:00 PM
The LochNess Monster's existence is more well-documented than Suri's
http://www.celebslam.com
10. Posted by Ann Miller on August 30, 2006 12:03 PM
I see that plaster replicas will be available for purchase. I think I'll pick one up as an investment. Early retirement, here I come!
11. Posted by Bioplant on August 30, 2006 12:04 PM
Some animals are not fit to live with the others, and must be put down.
Thus, it follows that some humans are not fit to live with others, and also must be put down.
One of those humans is Tom Cruise. The other is the poop artist. Katie Holmes, however, is fit to live amongst the rest of us.
Thank you.
12. Posted by Italian Stallion on August 30, 2006 12:09 PM
"A bronzed cast of baby's first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family."
I hope he mistakes memento for a mentos, he ate the placenta, why not the first shit?
This shit is just fucking crazy, and bronze...........
13. Posted by joslibrarian on August 30, 2006 12:11 PM
LOL!!! Tom, that's got to go against scientology, somewhere... The funniest part is the specialist--a meaningful momento--yeah. I'll be right back, I have to go drop some meaningful momentos of my own.
14. Posted by bunnyhugger on August 30, 2006 12:12 PM
wtf is this? national bodily functions week?
15. Posted by jrzmommy on August 30, 2006 12:19 PM
I like how they call it "fine art." I fucking hate artsy fartsy avant garde dickheads.
16. Posted by commissioner on August 30, 2006 12:25 PM
@6
Oh my God!
I can hear sister-in-law now. "Control freak this, BITCH!" (As she pours the candied yams over Kyra's bad dye job. Wanna bet she'll opt to work the holidays this year instead of facing the family?
17. Posted by ToiletDuck on August 30, 2006 12:29 PM
how shitty - I hope they put some lacquer on it...
18. Posted by biatcho on August 30, 2006 12:29 PM
This is why the arts are always the first thing to go in schools. Because of pieces of shit like this, literally. Fucking ARTEESTS can all go fuck themselves & their gay ass boyfriends while drinking chocolatini's with their faghags.
I blame Jesus...he had to go & give people the silly idea that you should be different & let your message be heard by the masses, even if they think you're crazy.
19. Posted by Astriastar on August 30, 2006 12:35 PM
Any word on whether or not Tom's going to sue? It this does see the light of day, we'll see what her shit looks like before we see what she looks like. Nice.
How ridiculous is this? I'll bet the crap is easier on the eyes than the kid is, otherwise we'd have seen her by now. And don't tell me no one's seen her yet because Tom values her privacy...he's the biggest attention whore this side of Paris Hilton.
20. Posted by jrzmommy on August 30, 2006 12:37 PM
16--I think Kyra will be doing the weather in Billings, Montana next.
21. Posted by ToiletDuck on August 30, 2006 12:43 PM
Hmmm, I wonder if this based on a RUNNY turd, or something a little more solid? How about a nice bronze sculpture of her fucking shitty little diaper???
22. Posted by ToiletDuck on August 30, 2006 12:44 PM
I wonder what alien feces looks like??
23. Posted by ToiletDuck on August 30, 2006 12:51 PM
Here is a wonderful little clip of Little Suri, she is so cuuuuute - she is about to regurgitate her Romulan unicorn's milk - enjoy!!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=oLmhGb4ZdZo
24. Posted by commissioner on August 30, 2006 12:52 PM
@20
Would have made my week if she had said something more interesting like, "Damn, my pussy hurts from the pounding my boyfriend gave me after my husband went to the gym this morning".
25. Posted by teenage-superbitch on August 30, 2006 1:03 PM
virtual poop for a virtual baby... tom, katy "suri" give up, no one is swallowing your bullshit... ( no pun intended)
26. Posted by Jake on August 30, 2006 1:07 PM
hey look, it's creepy mcpherson and wide-eyed holmes.
http://wampoon.com/
27. Posted by ToiletDuck on August 30, 2006 1:10 PM
Suri is an evil, scaly, fanged, green blooded, fucked up little runt who has come to our planet to overthrow our very way of life - she must be stopped at all costs..,
28. Posted by jrzmommy on August 30, 2006 1:14 PM
24-I was hoping for, "I gotta watch out for my brother. His wife is such a fucking pussywhipping douchebag. It's mother's fault he's such a gutless pussy. I mean, she dressed him in girl's clothes and made him take baths with her until he was SEVEN, for chrissakes. Oh, you don't know......our mother was a raging alchoholic! Father would go on these 'business trips' with his 'friend'....."
29. Posted by Pavarottie on August 30, 2006 1:21 PM
As if the child isn't going to be fucked up enough with a psycho daddy like Tom Cruise, now she will have a daily reminder of just how screwed her life is.
30. Posted by Jacq on August 30, 2006 1:31 PM
Where are my other scatologists when I need them?!?!?!
How can they bronze the poop when you KNOW Tom ate it?
The only shit I will ever touch is the one that I take in my hand right before I slap Tom Cruise on a red carpet. THAT will be awesome.
31. Posted by commissioner on August 30, 2006 1:36 PM
@28
Sounds like some shit my kid would say to get out of music class and "get to see the counselor" instead.
Way more entertaining than Suri shit. Some people bronze the first shoes, some people bronze the first excrement. Surprised Tom doesn't make "Kate" spit out his jizz so he can pickle it and save it for all eternity.
32. Posted by jrzmommy on August 30, 2006 1:37 PM
Tom bronzed his first pair of shoes with a lift in them.
33. Posted by ToiletDuck on August 30, 2006 1:56 PM
She's a skanky, psychotic, rubber-faced, bug-eyed little dirtbag who pisses out battery acid and she wants to overthrow our entire system...she was nursed by Courtney Love which makes her even more unstable...
34. Posted by guest1234567 on August 30, 2006 2:05 PM
The artist should do a piece about Tara Reid being so brave as she was standing outside a bar that wouldn't let her in.
35. Posted by MyWellRehearsedMistake on August 30, 2006 2:06 PM
This is a shit story.
36. Posted by ToiletDuck on August 30, 2006 2:14 PM
#34...
Make sure one tit is showing...
37. Posted by dejavoodoo on August 30, 2006 2:43 PM
doesn't suri actually mean shit in some messed up sciontology based language? i'm gonna go jump on my couch
38. Posted by ToiletDuck on August 30, 2006 3:50 PM
Here is a private clip of little Suri's first diaper change - quite intense, but the TomKat handlers were able to get through it...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=SK79aAyqZQ4
39. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on August 30, 2006 3:55 PM
Good grief. Next he is going to bronze his own poop and fling it at people while jumping on Oprah's couch. Naughty Tom.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
40. Posted by Dory on August 30, 2006 4:49 PM
I feel ill. Will someone PLEASE take that poor child away from those people.
41. Posted by Dory on August 30, 2006 4:52 PM
That is of course if there is a child...
42. Posted by uh.huh.uh.huh on August 30, 2006 7:07 PM
nasty!
43. Posted by Dirt McGirt on August 30, 2006 10:49 PM
You're all glib
44. Posted by Dogs At The Movies on August 31, 2006 1:24 AM
As if there wasn't already enough useless crap in this World!
http://www.DogsAtTheMovies.com
45. Posted by Dogs At The Movies on August 31, 2006 1:26 AM
As if there wasn't already enough useless crap in this World!
http://www.DogsAtTheMovies.com
46. Posted by AmberDextrose on August 31, 2006 3:59 AM
#18 - confusion. You mean that isn't you? You're posts are so misleading. Dammnit and I was gonna ask to be your faghag too. Bitch.
#28 ha ha ha ha
Is it right that child slaves are toiling in mines to produce the metal ore to cast this poo?
47. Posted by Captain Awesome on August 31, 2006 5:52 AM
*sigh*
Typical artfag. When you can't sell your work on its merit alone, make "shit" up!
Looks like I'll have to dig up Andy Warhol's body so I can piss on it again.
48. Posted by YoMamma on August 31, 2006 8:57 AM
"Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time."
49. Posted by nc72 on August 31, 2006 9:02 AM
Here's the scoop or poop heh. Wonder if it's wet...
http://www.exposay.com/suri-cruise-poops-too-shows-display/v/4016/
50. Posted by thesarahficial on August 31, 2006 9:34 AM
you gotta be friggin kiddin me
51. Posted by PaisleyMoon on August 31, 2006 10:45 AM
#18..I went to a fancy pants art school. I don't drink chocolatinis and I don't think poop is art. Stop putting people in boxes and using big words you barely understand, just continue to be the forum whore.. something you comprehend.
52. Posted by ElatedPornStar on August 31, 2006 6:23 PM
Xenu is coming...
Be ready when the shit hits the fan.
53. Posted by maiira on August 31, 2006 7:16 PM
Ugh. How did I know this piece of shit (pun semi-intended) was spawned from the same hack who made that Britney Spears abomination?
Yeah, I guess technically this might be art. MIGHT be. But this "sculptor" is giving everyone else in the business a bad name. It's not enough that his work is dedicated to the shittiest celebrities around; he has to go and make it as weird and horrifying as he possibly can. He would take real art and shit on it the way Suri Cruise (if she exists) shits in a diaper. Just what the hell IS this guy, anyway? And, more importantly, do I have to call him an artist? Because that title seems entirely too good for him.
I don't even know why this is pissing me off so much. It's pissing me off BECAUSE it's pissing me off. And the fact that it's getting so much attention only pisses me off MORE.
"A bronzed cast of baby's first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family."
Yeah, whatever.
54. Posted by Dory on August 31, 2006 7:52 PM
Imagine how poor Suri is going to feel at high school when all the other kids start bagging on her cause he father got her first Shit moulded. Then again it'll probably be some weird as scientology school if they have schools.
AND What is even freakier is how is poor Suri going to feel knowing that someone out in the world owns the cast of her first dump because it's up for auction.
Having her first poo moulded will haunt her for her entire life just think of her tombstone for gods sake...
Rest In Peace
Suri Cruise
2006 - 2076
Her Bronzed Feces will never be forgotten.
55. Posted by Babybing on September 1, 2006 1:40 PM
#18--Don't listen to all those jealous haters!
56. Posted by bogdana on September 1, 2006 7:13 PM
I've got an idea for this guy's next work of "art": John Travolta's Man-gina
57. Posted by hobberknockers on September 4, 2006 4:53 PM
Oh my god...hopefully this is not going to set a precedent for bronzing other bodily functions...what the heck........? Fine art? GROOOSSSS!