August 3, 2006
Star Jones is fat and whiny
Star Jones is still grasping at fame and has it in her head that somebody is out to get her after it was falsely reported her marriage to Al Reynolds was over.
"These categorically false stories and their continuation are clearly being generated by someone for vindictive reasons alone," the former View cohost, 44, says in a statement issued by her publicist. The statement goes on to say that the couple's "legal representatives have been investigating the source and motivation of these boldfaced lies for some time now and are very close to exposing the individual who has perpetrated them. At which time, appropriate legal action will be taken."
I wouldn't be surprised if Star Jones leaked the story herself. Since leaving The View the only thing she's got going in her life is lunch. And dinner. And the bucket of popcorn she has while driving to McDonalds.
NOTE: I don't care how much weight she loses, Star Jones will always be the fat chick on The View that got knocked on her ass by a football.
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Comments
1. Posted by MrsHoilman on August 3, 2006 5:31 PM
Uh... I HATE STAR JONES!
2. Posted by Adult Underoos on August 3, 2006 5:32 PM
star jones = the worst
3. Posted by amaritimer on August 3, 2006 5:37 PM
she really needs to get her eyebrows brought down off of her forehead.
4. Posted by Megz on August 3, 2006 5:37 PM
The football thing was funny. ;D
5. Posted by Megz on August 3, 2006 5:37 PM
The football thing was funny. ;D
6. Posted by fierce on August 3, 2006 5:37 PM
I love Star!
7. Posted by Megz on August 3, 2006 5:37 PM
double comment. >< Sorry
8. Posted by fierce on August 3, 2006 5:38 PM
BUT, OMROFL. That football video is hilario.
9. Posted by TOPAZ21 on August 3, 2006 5:40 PM
why does she always have that surprised look pasted on her face?
10. Posted by januaryanne on August 3, 2006 5:40 PM
tracy morgans impression of her is all i can think of when i see that. can't you just see him going, "THESE ALLEGATIONS ARE CATEGORICALLY FALSE. I AM A LAWYER."
11. Posted by azcoyote on August 3, 2006 5:42 PM
I bet if you threw a turkey that fat bitch would catch it one handed and produce some gravy out of thin air... Or well, fat air... You get the idea... She's a pig...
12. Posted by Adult Underoos on August 3, 2006 5:42 PM
star's head kinda looks like a football. maybe because i want to punt it?
13. Posted by HarryNipples on August 3, 2006 6:00 PM
Look Star, accept the facts here...
You hubby likes PENISES - white ones, black ones, big ones, small ones...something you ain't got unless there's something you're not telling us...
Maybe you can get a job on Fear Factor filling buckets with cow's testicles...
14. Posted by BarbadoSlim on August 3, 2006 6:01 PM
"legal representatives" = some dude down the street, his name is Lou.
"exposing the individual" = at a press conference she'll unveil a picture of planet earth taken by the Hubbell orbiting telescope.
15. Posted by HarryNipples on August 3, 2006 6:01 PM
Why the fuck doesn't she just go away??
16. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on August 3, 2006 6:05 PM
Star, now that you're single, come hither my Nubian Queen and let me taste your sweet, sweet cocoa butter while we listen to some Maxwell. I know you like Maxwell, bitch.
17. Posted by Sidius on August 3, 2006 6:05 PM
That football video is hands down one of the best pieces of internet footage ever. The reason Al Gore invented it IMHO.
18. Posted by michelle on August 3, 2006 6:07 PM
Dear Star Jones.
NO ONE CARES.
19. Posted by Peaches2133 on August 3, 2006 6:07 PM
Gawd, I can't stand this fake bitch! Everyone knows that she had her stomach stapled to lose weight and that her husband is gay. This is her pathetic attempt to get whatever publicity she can. Get over it you fat cow, with Barbra WaWa around, you'll never work again!
20. Posted by Giggles on August 3, 2006 6:14 PM
Yes, I really don't care if she's married to a gay guy or not. Whatever. It's a free country. And by the way, thou protest TOOOO much.
21. Posted by AmandatheWonderful on August 3, 2006 6:17 PM
I wish I was Star, man. I wish I looked like a fabulous Willy Wonka chocolate creation gone awry. I wish my husband was gay, so he'd quit nailing my awesome puntang all the freakin time. I wish I had some of Baba WaWa's money to spend on some Payless BOGO action. Fuck yeah, I wish I was Star Jones.
22. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on August 3, 2006 6:57 PM
Star is right to strike out at the malicious slanderers. There is absolutely nothing wrong with marrying a cockfag. Look at the wonderful, lasting relationships of Halston, Calvin Klein, Tom Cruise, and Liza Minelli (who married not one, but two queers). I am sure she and Al will last as long as she doesn't mind him keeping a dude on the down low or kissing him and tasting shitdipped dick. Though there may be some legal snafus with regards to how something that never was can end.
23. Posted by Joanne Viskup on August 3, 2006 7:01 PM
When the view first came on, my Mom used to say, "It's such a shame that she is so fat, she has a pretty face." Guess what Mom? No she doesn't.
24. Posted by Getitstraight on August 3, 2006 7:01 PM
#10....Duh? Who is Tracy Morgan?
25. Posted by ImSuicidal on August 3, 2006 7:03 PM
All I see in that picture are eyeballs and teeth!
I love Baba Wawa!!!
26. Posted by Getitstraight on August 3, 2006 7:06 PM
#10 never mind, should have known he's from SNL.
27. Posted by sharkbite on August 3, 2006 7:22 PM
I thought she died. Damn.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
28. Posted by ImSuicidal on August 3, 2006 7:24 PM
jrzmommy Please see comment 80 in the Jenna Jameson picture.
29. Posted by RichPort on August 3, 2006 7:44 PM
#9
I agree, there is a subhuman like quality in regard to the distance between her eyelids and her eyebrows. She was the fat nasty girl with clumps of earwax who ate paste in middle school. She's still surpised any wants to take her picture. Underneath that wig she's got more naps than a kindegarten class! That and her wife Al smokes more meat cigars than a gay Cuban. I could down a case of ExLax and still not give a shit...
30. Posted by mylittleporny on August 3, 2006 8:08 PM
"...exposing the individual who has perpetrated them."
perpetrated or penetrated?
31. Posted by pixel killya on August 3, 2006 11:24 PM
No more Starship posts please.
I thank you.
32. Posted by Sheva on August 3, 2006 11:24 PM
In other news Faggy Al has been spotted with his homo crew on Long Island having a ball and ballin lots of dudes.
33. Posted by ChickenScratch on August 4, 2006 1:44 AM
Why does she have a publicist? Is she so busy that she needs one?
I hate her, I hate her because of the wedding she had. Like she was royalty or something, makes me sick to even think about it.
34. Posted by Justin Igger on August 4, 2006 2:11 AM
i would fuck the shit out this black queen. she is the best and makes more than any of you crackers. when people say they see stars i think of how great it would be to see double of this bitch and i have to drink the remy martin for that shit to happen. yo if any one can hook me up with this black goddess let me no for real though
35. Posted by Justin Igger on August 4, 2006 2:12 AM
ms rainwater you funny
36. Posted by Zanna on August 4, 2006 2:29 AM
Star - STOP LOOKING LIKE NICOLE RICHIE.
37. Posted by Zanna on August 4, 2006 2:30 AM
Star--
Stop looking like Ncole Richie!
38. Posted by alaskanchicsickle on August 4, 2006 3:27 AM
@34 Does this mean that you are gay, like big gay Al?
39. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on August 4, 2006 4:47 AM
Star may be annoying, but Barb Wha Wha has been acting very odd lately groping black co-hosts and saying weird things like is your hair real when they are filming. Not sure what went down there, but Wha Wha certainly has issues.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
40. Posted by AmberDextrose on August 4, 2006 6:31 AM
A black beard! Ahoy me hearties. Perhaps she should be keelhauled. Probably sink the ship, mind.
41. Posted by Ramblebrook on August 4, 2006 8:22 AM
She made a living by talking about celebrities problems and gossiping. She's a no talent harpie, getting fat off of people's misery.
I'm surprised you people don't love her.
42. Posted by Grobpilot on August 4, 2006 9:16 AM
She kind of looks like a pug, don't you think? Big, fat face and bulging eyeballs. Not even remotely attractive.
43. Posted by jrzmommy on August 4, 2006 9:23 AM
40--Fucking hilarious! Black beard. I love it. Too clever.
She looks like that pile of shit that Kelly Le Brock turns the mean brother (Bill Paxton) into in "Weird Science." Seriously, if you just put a little cigar in her hand, that's who she'd be.
44. Posted by ScriptRadar on August 4, 2006 1:37 PM
She's hot. Oops. I mean heinous.
45. Posted by DancingQueen on August 4, 2006 1:38 PM
Is is me or does she look like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland? Or was that the crack I just smoked?
46. Posted by Sister Morphine on August 4, 2006 4:21 PM
I love that video of her getting knocked in the face with a football. Seeing her fat ass flying is enough to make me laugh so hard I might piss myself.
She needs to get smacked in the face with a football more often.
47. Posted by Spindoc on August 4, 2006 5:14 PM
Al Reynolds, is the only human being on the face of the earth that LOVES the cock more than Tom Cruise.
48. Posted by PunjabPete on August 4, 2006 8:00 PM
#47.. No way...
Tom Cruise certainly loves the cock more than Al Reynolds... In fact, I am pretty sure Tom bangs Al on a regular basis... An Al likes it that way... So that would make him a close second...
TCLTC
49. Posted by alaskanchicsickle on August 4, 2006 11:56 PM
She is the result of a human/alien hybrid experiment gone awry.
50. Posted by zebop on August 5, 2006 1:48 AM
Isn't it about time this drag queen and her fudgepacking, pillow-biter hubby dragged their flabby asses off to the obscurity they so richly deserve.
Star Jones. Voted Most Likely to Be on Celebrity Fat-Ass Club in 2008.
I wouldn't hit it. And neither would Al Reynolds.
51. Posted by Spindoc on August 5, 2006 7:18 AM
#48.......
Hmmm, I don't know, I get the idea that both Tom and Al lay down and Star bangs them both with her monster strap on while at the same time eating a ham.
52. Posted by biatcho on August 5, 2006 8:24 AM
I have prayed for years for Jason Seahorn to throw his balls on my face and this fat bitch gets MY wish? I say Fuck You Joboo, I do it myself!
53. Posted by Joey bag o' donuts on August 6, 2006 8:08 PM
Star Jones is miserable because she is supposed to be fatter.
54. Posted by cricket0995 on August 7, 2006 1:16 PM
You know, everytime I see Star Jones I literally feel sick to my stomach. She could quite possibly be the most disgusting celebrity out there.