Aug 11 2006Screech gets mugged by a girl
Dustin Diamond says he got into a fight with a fan on Monday in his Omaha, Nebraska hotel room which resulted in her trying to mug him.
"I wake up and go to the bathroom and all of a sudden I hear this pound-pound-pound at the door," Diamond told E! Online in a phone interview Thursday. "I look out and see this girl with her hair hung down and I didn't put it together right away that it's the girl at the club. This girl was behind me and our conversation must have given her the idea, I guess, to try and rob me. And [around 3 a.m.] she's at the door screaming, 'Come on, Screech, my phone's in there.' And clearly just being a comedian, I'm like, 'Yeah yeah where is it?' " She kept pounding and that's when Diamond says he called hotel security to have her escorted her out of the building. About 45 minutes later, Diamond said he was opening his door to go downstairs to catch a ride for a 5:15 a.m. flight when he heard a "boom." "Somehow she got back in and is now holding a can of Mace up," he recounted. "I'm freaked out and jump back and she says, 'Where's the money, come on, tell me where it is, and she's trying to look through my bags.' " Diamond managed to call 911 and the hotel security. He said he tried to "give her a house shirt to make her go away," referring to the T-shirts he's been hawking to save his Wisconsin home. Then, he said, "she grabs my PlayStation Portable games, said, "This will have to do," and goes running out the door. "I'm a big gamer and you don't mess with the D-man's videogames," he said. Diamond, an alum of Celebrity Boxing 2, said he tried to stop her but she yelled, "Rape!" and "Help me! I'm thinking great, this is all I need," Diamond said. The actor said he managed to recover his games as police arrived. He and the woman both gave statements to police; he was allowed to leave to catch his flight.
Why would anybody want to mug Dustin Diamond? That'd be like mugging the homeless guy who sleeps on your lawn. If you're going to mug somebody at least set your sights a little higher. Maybe somebody with money? Although if there's anybody you'd think would be easy to steal from it'd be Screech. On the scale of people capable of defending themselves he's right up there with 'blind guy with no arms.' Or Gary Coleman.
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Reader Comments
1. pop - August 11, 2006 12:37 PM
I wonder if mr.belding will give him detention for this?
http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/
2. Celetina - August 11, 2006 12:41 PM
Maybe he wants to press charges or get money off the attention? I mean, last we saw of him he couldn't even afford to keep his house. Also the mugging in question is the most absurd thing I've ever read. Do any thieves, petty or professional, steal stuff while saying "This'll have to do"?
"You don't mess with the D-man's video games." Yeah, that strikes the fear of God into my soul. He's got to be lying for that reason alone.
3. reverendsilky - August 11, 2006 12:45 PM
hey... isn't that picture the CP guy from Last comic standing? or are they the same person? Come on... how hard would it be for an actor of his caliber to fake CP! Thats some Andy Kaufman shit right there!
4. ZombieSushi - August 11, 2006 12:45 PM
I half think he probably set the whole thing up... the guy is really strugglin' to save that goddamn house of his. Poor bastard.
5. Dean - August 11, 2006 12:50 PM
The punctuation in Dustin's story is really confusing, but entertaining nonetheless. They should re-enact this scene on CSI, but on that version someone will have killed a bunch of hookers and it all points back to Dustin's brother's friend from middle school.
6. Equalparts - August 11, 2006 12:51 PM
I think the superficial peeps just hang out on people dot com all day, waiting for stories.
This website used to be funny. Now it's just a big, fat copy cat.
7. PunjabPete - August 11, 2006 12:55 PM
Gary Coleman could so whip your ass Superfish... Don't front...
8. endometriorama - August 11, 2006 12:55 PM
he's a comedian?
9. SoftBlueGlow - August 11, 2006 12:55 PM
Hahahahahaha
Hahaha
Haha
Hahahahahahahahaha
http://www.VeryLiberating.com
10. tits_on_snack - August 11, 2006 12:55 PM
"Hair hung down", what? I had to stop reading halfway through due to the unfortunate fact that it sounded like a ten year old telling you a meandering story about something that happened on the playground.
11. CelebSlam.com - August 11, 2006 12:57 PM
Lay off Screech. He hasn't been that close to a girl since the afterparty of the 1992 daytime emmys.
http://www.celebslam.com
12. jrzmommy - August 11, 2006 12:57 PM
Just choose obscurity at this point, dude. You're done...you've BEEN done...Times up! Go learn a trade.
13. Triumph Insult Dog - August 11, 2006 12:58 PM
Yeah, this story is a few days old, but what I want to know is what's happening with his house?? I mean did they take in or what?!
I'm from Milwaukee and everybody's curious about "Screech's House"... Weird, huh?
http://www.blackbeatpress.com
14. Libraesque - August 11, 2006 1:01 PM
Play station games, hotel rooms, clubbing, flights, and we're supposed to give this guy money.....to save his house......yeah, no. SO what I get from this story is he got what he deserved because he lied to some crack ho in a club and said he had money? AND thought someone cared so he, what called someone to give an interview? This is too idiotic and sad to even laugh at
15. flamarkel - August 11, 2006 1:05 PM
Here's the link for his site and the story:
http://www.getdshirts.com/the_story.php
Evidently, he can't afford his house and thinks everyone should donate money to help him keep it. Makes perfect sense to me.
16. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh - August 11, 2006 1:06 PM
That was a long story. Did I read it? No. Why? I need to hear more about Kelly Kapowski and Lisa Turtle before I settle down to a good book.
17. jrzmommy - August 11, 2006 1:12 PM
Superfish guy is pretty slow today. I just read that Dina Lohan is getting her own talk show and is now currently shopping around for a network. www.thesocialitelife.com
18. BriBri - August 11, 2006 1:13 PM
Did he really just refer to himself as "the D-Man"? *shudders*
19. jrzmommy - August 11, 2006 1:24 PM
oops, just socialitelife.com
20. Do Freebird - August 11, 2006 1:26 PM
D-Man?
Shouldn't that be D-Bag?
21. Ivana Mandalay - August 11, 2006 1:30 PM
I lost interest in that story after the "pound-pound-pound" part. It just seemed like a massive run-on sentence.
22. Ivana Mandalay - August 11, 2006 1:32 PM
Oh, I forgot to add that that dude still looks the same. The same ugly, stupid and annoying douchebag he played on Saved By The Bell.
23. RichPort - August 11, 2006 1:33 PM
#3 My thoughts exactly.
There should be a home where all has been actors should be sent to protect the rest of us from having to deal with them. When the actor is past his/ her acting prime, regardless of age, they should be allowed to move to this commune and live out the rest of their miserable existances untouched by humanity. Imagine it: When you step to the front gate, you'd be greeted by Corey Haim and Valerie Bertonelli, who'd guide you by hand to your room. The place would be guarded by Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seigel, with Dom Deluise providing culinary delights, Sally Struthers would be gardening and doing Gun Repair, Richard Greico would be available to chauffer in all newcomers, and Richard Simmons Jazzercising with a group of sorry used-to-be's. There would be no shortage of music, as Debbie Gibson and Cisco would do renditions of the "Thong" song every noon. Something to seriously consider, and it could help Screech immensely. This utopia is possible, with your support, and, more importantly, could help lower the price of coke for the rest of us.
24. CMonster0125 - August 11, 2006 1:43 PM
I'm surprised that Screech didn't beat the hell out of the woman with his massive penis (or so he claimed to have on Howard Stern) and tell the police that she tried to rape him when he wouldn't pay for her services with D-Man's PSP games.
25. barryjc - August 11, 2006 1:56 PM
no one comments here anymore? does this site suck now or something?
26. radio4play - August 11, 2006 2:11 PM
This is seriously one of the funniest interviews on the planet...go Screech!
dip dip
27. scamboogah - August 11, 2006 2:22 PM
I agree with Libraesque. I own a house and didn't have to beg people to pay for it. You wanna know how? By NOT having a PS2, clubbing and flying around the country.
Shoulda worked out a better deal with Peter Engel...
28. Adult Underoos - August 11, 2006 2:26 PM
omg, screech is totally awesome!
29. HolisticWisdomcom - August 11, 2006 2:29 PM
Perhaps he will get back into boxing again so he can defend himself against the ladies.
Referring to - Celebrity Boxing, where he pummeled an irate Ron Palillo, of Welcome Back, Kotter.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
30. ScriptRadar - August 11, 2006 2:30 PM
Sissy.
31. reesestet - August 11, 2006 2:36 PM
Washed-up asshole! Pay your flippin bills like the rest of us and get a damn job!! You were never funny and never will be. Can't blame the poor girl for "screeching" rape. No woman with any brains would give it up willingly. The dork has to take it!!
32. ImSuicidal - August 11, 2006 2:56 PM
Shit, I bought one of his fucking t-shirts and he just gives her one!!
Click the link to see where all the cool people are partying.
P.S. Bring a gift! (preferably wrapped)
33. The VZA - August 11, 2006 3:11 PM
Wasn't Screech a kickboxer or something? He should've gone Frank Dux on that bitch.
34. UNWASHEDMASSES - August 11, 2006 3:46 PM
This screams prostitution deal gone wrong. What probably happend was Screetch got this crack ho to come to his hotel room. He bangs her eight ways from Sunday, tosses her nasty homeless ass' salad, then tries to stiff her. That's what this one note wonder would term "comedy". She fought back and demanded he pay her for the privilege of contracting the highly desireable (what with Paris and Li-Lo making it fashionable) herpes virus. Seriously, read what he says she said (which he would have to admit to in the event someone else heard the commotion) and it only makes sense one way. She wasn't some nutjob fan, she wanted payment for services rendered! Demanding money, taking his poor-ass Playstation games in a twist on the barter system. And the one question that goes unanswered - how did this bitch know what hotel he was staying at and what room he was in? Did she follow him? Right. Even if she did, and he remembered her from the comedy club, why didn't he either shake her or have security take care of her before leading her to his door? He's making excuses to cut off the bad press that's going to come out of this. Mark my words, you'll see this on Inside Edition and the chick will either be a tranny or a whore with a record.
35. jrzmommy - August 11, 2006 3:52 PM
34--I'm with you.
36. ImSuicidal - August 11, 2006 4:17 PM
I found a bio, complete with photo, of the "D-mans" whore!
http://www.nndb.com/people/437/000026359/
37. whatever - August 11, 2006 4:31 PM
my friend saw his "comedy" act in san diego and he hit on her in front of the whole audience...including her mother and her aunt...talking about her big boobs. what a freak.
38. whatever - August 11, 2006 4:32 PM
or maybe it was san francisco. yeah, the place with the bridge.
39. Spindoc - August 11, 2006 5:06 PM
Is there anybody here who DOESN"T think that this was a hooker he picked up who then tried to roll him?
40. ToiletDuck - August 12, 2006 12:29 AM
Ok - listen...
This is total horseshit - this guy is a fucking loser - he is a washed up has been, who played a stupid, whiny idiotic character on TV, got lucky doing so and made a lot of money doing it...
This is TOTALLY made up, an attention getter, designed to put his name back in the public (translate that to 'stupid') eye...
Got it? Welcome to Hollywood Publicity 101...
41. ToiletDuck - August 12, 2006 12:30 AM
...and anybody who doesn't believe me will come back reincarnated as one of Courteney Love's feminine wipes...
42. ToiletDuck - August 12, 2006 12:35 AM
Proof positive, that Hollywood is the microcosm of all that is trashy shit in this world - this guy is a total nobody, but because of this, and with the help of his fellow Jewish publicist (don't shit all over me, I am telling the truth) this idiot will have his own reality show within a year...seriously, you have witnessed the return of Dustin Diamond - this was very carefully planned....if I am wrong, I will eat Paris Hilton's shitty little panties on live TV......
43. Grope For Luna - August 12, 2006 4:52 AM
I believe he meant a 5:15 AM bus ride.
44. matt2585 - August 12, 2006 8:37 AM
And [around 3 a.m.] she's at the door screaming, 'Come on, Screech, my phone's in there.' And clearly just being a comedian, I'm like, 'Yeah yeah where is it?' "
This was the most confusing part for me. What's with the "And clearly just being a comedian, I'm like, 'Yeah yeah where is it?'"
Does that have anything to do with being a comedian? Was that a funny question? Wouldn't a plumber ask the same thing?
45. freakspeely - August 12, 2006 2:50 PM
34 said it before I could, totally. He got ahold of a ho and couldn't afford to pay the pussy, so she stole his games. He oughta check local pawn shops. He also oughta get a job at Best Buy if he likes to play video games. He also oughta quit telling his business to get attention.
46. thesarahficial - August 12, 2006 3:58 PM
publicity stunt! he probably paid the chick to steal his crap so he could get people to actually know that he's still alive. i was watching saved by the bell the other day out of nowhere too, how ironic.
47. Justin Igger - August 12, 2006 6:13 PM
now thats what i call a bitch robbing a bitch
48. Znuffy - August 14, 2006 10:21 AM
how embarassing to be arresting for trying to mug Screech!