Aug 22 2006Mischa Barton and Cisco Adler eat lunch at Cafe Med
For any single guys out there thinking there's no hope for them, Cisco Adler should stand as a shining example that no matter how poor or ugly or unhygienic you look you can still manage to bag a woman like Mischa Barton. And by "a woman like Mischa Barton" I mean a tall waifish girl who's probably legally blind and has a poor sense of smell.
More of Mischa and the always amusing Cisco after the jump.




Reader Comments
1. James - August 22, 2006 12:03 PM
Who in the hell is Cisco Adler?
2. Verbal Osmosis - August 22, 2006 12:03 PM
That guy is ugly as sin. She is incredibly washed up at this point in the game, how old is she - 19?
3. MacMac - August 22, 2006 12:05 PM
It looks like she's trying to stand downwind in all the photos...
4. danielle - August 22, 2006 12:07 PM
they could be twins. thing 1 and thing 2.
i guess toothpicks make good soul mates.
5. yasmin3000y - August 22, 2006 12:09 PM
here goes bobby and whitney all over again
6. CelebSlam.com - August 22, 2006 12:10 PM
His penis is like Shaq's
http://www.celebslam.com
7. IFuckingHateYou - August 22, 2006 12:11 PM
This stupid bitch will be coming out as a lesbian within two years - why else would she be going out with this ugly fucker? It's all just a clever ruse to make the world think she is heterosexual.
And, since she's almost washed up already, I'm looking forward to the lesbian sex tape being leaked that will jump-start her career.
8. Cruzadas - August 22, 2006 12:14 PM
I swear I tried really hard to find something in those pictures that I wouldn't mind to have...I guess the camera and the BMW in the first pic. Nothing else seems to attract me much, including those 2 things inside those 70's clothes.
9. fro0ty - August 22, 2006 12:19 PM
lol skinny
http://www.usvisahelp.info/
10. UNWASHEDMASSES - August 22, 2006 12:19 PM
Can we just call him Crisco Adler and be done with it? He has to go out of his way to look that gross. He probably thinks it funny when he tosses his sharted underwear in Mischa's face. Or picks his toe jam and then jams his finger in her mouth, or gifts her with a Dirty Sanchez (heavy on the dirty). I bet more than once he has gotten kicked out of someplace because of the way he looks or smells. Mischa must be some kind of nasty to dig that. Look at him, look at those pics, and understand that she goes down on that. Sick dick is as bad for your teeth as too much candy, look at Pete Doherty's mouth. Mischa, be warned.
11. Kitty - August 22, 2006 12:27 PM
God, he so SO freakin' FUG! Clearly the woman is retarded, her clothes are just as ugly as her boyfriend.
12. guest1234567 - August 22, 2006 12:29 PM
This guy is Svengali! Mischa must stand 4 paces behind him at all times.
13. jemsinamood - August 22, 2006 12:30 PM
Hopefully this is all explained by his having a huge schlong, but an unwashed schlong is still disgusting.
14. jrzmommy - August 22, 2006 12:33 PM
by the looks of him and that ugly fuck Nicole Richie was hanging with last week --Orby or whatever--I'd say that Whitestarrrrrrrrrrr (quite possibly the gayest name for a band ever) is without a doubt the most homely and scraggliest ugly bunch of motherfuckers ever in the history of music -- and that includes cavemen who banged on boulders with saber tooth tiger bones!
15. HughJorganthethird - August 22, 2006 12:36 PM
re-arrange the letters and Cisco Adler becomes Crisco Dale. Much more appropriate I'm sure you'd agree.
16. radio4play - August 22, 2006 12:41 PM
#15 I agree, it is a much better alternative
17. jemsinamood - August 22, 2006 12:43 PM
#15 Indeed. Good point.
18. Elikapeka - August 22, 2006 12:45 PM
And I ate lunch in the boardroom today. Woopee. Is there a reason this story was posted? Really?
19. MeganHarris - August 22, 2006 12:50 PM
Whatever. over ratted already. I thin Rachel Bilson is more cute.
20. kuennen sux - August 22, 2006 12:58 PM
Neither are fabulous, so why do we care?
21. gr8flgrl2002 - August 22, 2006 1:00 PM
um, does Mischa look preg to anyone???
22. kuennen sux - August 22, 2006 1:00 PM
my bad.....is
23. I Will Eat Your Children - August 22, 2006 1:01 PM
This dude is a 2nd rate K Federline.
And where are the hilarious wife beater references? Step your blog game up son.
24. nc72 - August 22, 2006 1:05 PM
Yeah the dude's fugly but Mischa is hot! Okay maybe not but she's got some legs...
http://www.exposay.com/mischa-barton-pirates-of-the-caribbean-dead-mans-chest-uk-premiere/p/3331/55/
25. jemsinamood - August 22, 2006 1:06 PM
@21 I thought the same thing. Probably an alien though since she's so thin there's no way she got pregnant naturally. She can't be able to menstruate. Scientology's at the bottom of this.
26. sometimesboy - August 22, 2006 1:07 PM
looks like those damn snakes on a plane have invaded his trousers....
27. NYC GIRL - August 22, 2006 1:10 PM
Look at her, she doesn't even look happy. I give it another week.
28. purplepuppy - August 22, 2006 1:33 PM
Eeeeewwww...gee, his pants are mighty tight in the crotch area! I tried to look away, but I just couldn't. Saw some outlines of things I didn't really want to see...BARF!
29. Jacq - August 22, 2006 1:41 PM
Ok, look, I understand that she's supposed to be this beautiful style icon, but at what point does she turn the corner from "How did that guy bag her?" to "Holy shit she's ugly!"?
I mean first it was Brandon Davis - which was bad, but he's a billionaire so it was ok.
Then she broke up with her stylist/fashion sense. Now Cisco - he seriously looks like something that could very well crawl out of the toilet. This all adds up to the fugging of Mischa Barton.
30. biatcho - August 22, 2006 1:41 PM
#4, DANIELLE - don't you mean "tooFpicks'?
31. Zanna - August 22, 2006 1:41 PM
man o manachevitz.....this is the second story that has made me go on "junk patrol."
@28..what do you mean you saw outlines of things you didn't want to see? That's like a guy saying he doesn't ever want to see camel toe. then again, I'm assuming with a name like purplepuppy, you are a girl..I could be wrong. In which case, i apologize.
32. Jacq - August 22, 2006 1:42 PM
Nice shirt, Cisco. Do they make it in men's?
33. thesarahficial - August 22, 2006 1:44 PM
she's trying to stay at least within 5 ft. away from him because he's that nasty.
34. BarbadoSlim - August 22, 2006 2:10 PM
Fuck, I can smell his feet from here.
gross
35. Jacq - August 22, 2006 2:17 PM
He looks like the type of pussy that you just want to see someone SLAP THE EVER-LOVING SHIT OUT OF.
36. HolisticWisdomcom - August 22, 2006 3:05 PM
Years from now when he is bald and overweight his kids will look back at these pics and say "Is that really you? Geez, Dad you look better now."
Fun Days.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
37. dmarie - August 22, 2006 3:19 PM
Those two look like Vietnam War protestors. Except for the fact that IT'S 2006!!
and what's with the bump on her belly? I guess nowadays you either
A. look anorexic
or
B. Have a bump that is indistinguishable between beer gut or baby on the way.
38. Stepheroo - August 22, 2006 3:26 PM
Who buys a yellow belt? That's just pitiful! I have to point out that Whitestarr is also the name of a company that offers anal bleaching parties. So perhaps his crotch is cheesy and his feek stink, but maybe his anus is white and shiny.
39. Praz - August 22, 2006 3:28 PM
I can't tell if that's Slash from Guns'n'Roses, or the lead singer from Monster Magnet.
40. MissaRB - August 22, 2006 3:29 PM
Men should never, EVER, wear colored belts... or scull shirts with a heart for the eye. He is trying a little too hard to act like he doesn't give a shit.
\
I live in Tennessee and I can smell this guy.
41. mmmBitch - August 22, 2006 3:49 PM
Her Thighs! For the love of God, somebody find her thighs!!!
42. Eye-Dish Lass - August 22, 2006 4:18 PM
MISPRINT! Rick Okasec and Paul Poriskova eat lunch. And Rick gained 5 lbs and lost all talent.
43. RenoScarab - August 22, 2006 4:22 PM
#15 - i loves me some anagrams. This guy has a ton, some creepy!
A CLOD CRIES
A SCROD LICE
SCARCE IDOL
COCA IDLERS
COCA SLIDER
CAD RECOILS
SACRED COIL
ACID CLOSER
ACRID CLOSE
44. Eye-Dish Lass - August 22, 2006 4:25 PM
@21 - Totally pregnant. HOW THRILLED her parents must be relieved Mischa dumped that Bazillionaire Brandon guy for Weird Al's unemployed freak brother that has the NERVE to act annoyed by the cameras. Cisco WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!
45. Eye-Dish Lass - August 22, 2006 4:31 PM
He doesn't even walk next to her. In every pic, she's 5 feet behind him and probably carrying his child! Pay attention Ugly Boys....Beautiful women WANT to be treated like sh**....
46. LL - August 22, 2006 4:45 PM
They both look like dirty hippies. Good night, are they trying bring that back too? Ponchos, shags and bell bottoms weren't bad enough, now they're trying to shove dirty hippie down our throats? I won't have that. I'll do a Cartman on their asses.
She does look sorta pregnant. Yikes. Quick, who would you least rather be impregnated by, this dude or Pete Doherty?
47. Grobpilot - August 22, 2006 5:35 PM
I guess all these Hollywood turds have the freedom to date whomever they want but, holy shit, at least be a bit more selective.
48. Dory - August 22, 2006 5:42 PM
EW EW EW EW EW for a girl who's suppose to be soooooooo hot she sure gets fugly guys. EW!!
49. BarbadoSlim - August 22, 2006 5:52 PM
@45...acknowledged and duly noted, I think I'm gonna smack my bitch up right now.
she better get me a beer too, the stupid bitch.
:)
50. TrannyGranny - August 22, 2006 6:08 PM
Who is that stinky hippie, and why is it carrying a stick?
51. RichPort - August 22, 2006 6:37 PM
She's not pregnant, she ate a sandwich over the weekend and she's just trying to walk it off. I don't see the issue here... same body type, same hair, same fucking wardrobe. She just wears her facial hair a bit different, and neither one of them look like they'd recognize a shower if it hit them over the heads and forceably hosed them down.
52. missaddicted - August 22, 2006 6:41 PM
I'm sure Mischa is dating that fuzzball because the sight and smell of him stops her from wanting to eat..
Mischa needs to:
1. Start eating real food not just dirt and grime off of her "boyfriend"
2. Get a fake tan happening because she is so pale I thought for a second there was an ugly dress blowing in the wind following fuzzface
3. Stop hanging out at the Zoo and buying monkeys to take home and date
53. Karen - August 22, 2006 6:45 PM
It's all just the K-Fed trend. Don't worry, Hollywood will get over it and find love with fine gentlemen such as Rosie O'Donald
54. alaskanchicsickle - August 22, 2006 8:29 PM
What is with her walking five steps behind him, I mean does the aroma of scraggly hippie turn her on?
55. peacemaker - August 22, 2006 8:54 PM
gosh she is gorgeous, i sure hope he has a good personality.
56. Ems is da Shizz - August 22, 2006 9:33 PM
Mischa is gorgeous and I love her on The O.C. but why the fuck does she date the ugliest guys? first that fat whats his name loser that called Lindsay Lohan "firecrotch",( that was funny but I don't remember his name), and now this guy? If I were her I would go after so many other guys in Hollywood.
57. Ems is da Shizz - August 22, 2006 9:34 PM
Mischa is gorgeous and I love her on The O.C. but why does she date the ugliest guys? first that fat whats his name loser that called Lindsay Lohan "firecrotch",( that was funny but I don't remember his name), and now this guy? If I were her I would go after so many other guys in Hollywood.
58. ChickenScratch - August 22, 2006 9:38 PM
I thought Cisco was black and sang "The Thong Song".
59. Team OJ - August 22, 2006 10:54 PM
Mischa Barton is a dirty dyke ,she might not be willing to 'come out' but wait till she gets a bit older and the contracts start drying up. Next thing she'll be advertising is having 14 hour sex with Ellen DeGeneres.
60. AmberDextrose - August 23, 2006 4:14 AM
Yikes I pulled something like that out of the shower plug hole the other day.
As for her, I saw her at the Cartier International Polo* last month and she's very bland in the flesh.
*becaws aim turribly pawsh and thut's wut we pawsh people do. (must sack Maid for not cleaning shower).
61. daveeech81 - August 23, 2006 6:29 AM
he looks like Lt. Dan from forrest gump to me..after he lost the legs and got all crazy like.
62. daveeech81 - August 23, 2006 6:30 AM
and fuck is she ever bow-legged.
63. justme - August 23, 2006 8:04 AM
Heaven forbid he not walk 3 feet in front of her..
64. HughJorganthethird - August 23, 2006 8:14 AM
#43 I think "A SCROD LICE" is my favourite
65. babydollz217 - August 23, 2006 9:55 AM
they are both horribly ugly! im sorry but mischa needs to ead some damn cheese burgers, steaks,.. anything! shes nasty, i dunno why everyone likes her. butt ugly
66. SuperShallow - August 23, 2006 10:16 AM
if my legs were that skinny, I'd fall down alot...
how does he fuck her without breaking her anyway?
67. The Juice - August 23, 2006 4:40 PM
Shes a dumb fuck!!
68. bunnyhugger - August 23, 2006 4:44 PM
59:
naw, ellen's way too classy for that.
now here's where i show my age:
my dad made the same greasy hippy filthy comments about the beatles.
and i was the only kid in school not allowed to watch "the partridge family" because (oh, fuck? what's his name? the keith partridge one?) he had long hair. and danny was obnoxious.
mom fixed it so i could listen to the "top 40" w/ casey kasem, as long as i kept it really low, and used my brother's room.
*snaps back to reality*
honest to god, i think i kinda know who she is, but who and why is HE?
yeah, i'm done. going back to my "happy place"
69. beifiori - August 23, 2006 6:22 PM
that boyfriend of hers looks like he has cooties
70. beifiori - August 23, 2006 6:33 PM
ok, had to go back up and look at the picture after the yellow belt and tight jeans comments...anyone notice he has a camel toe????? and i agree, how does he fuck her without breaking her or without severing an artery from all those bones???
she's probably just eaten, hence the bump, but we know she has periods due to the lovely pic posted here a while back showing her lovely white spotted pants in the crotch area...that is, unless she's lost more weight, then yeah, she wouldn't be able to have her period. i just don't get the attraction from either way...he's just a scuz and she's fuuuuuugly and far too thin.
71. Money Magnet - August 23, 2006 6:59 PM
Ahhhh love IS BLIND.
http://www.FinancesForever.com
72. James - August 25, 2006 12:59 PM
Who is this guy? One of you must know who this peckerneck is.
73. HollywoodSnark - April 12, 2007 11:47 AM
who? that guy's scuzzy as hell...