*pukes in mouth*

looks at pictures again

*pukes in mouth again*

http://www.celebslam.com

...and leathery skin.

they belong in a museum

What's with the third picture? Why is Melissa's dress plugged into her lower back?

They look like the vomit sisters.

Melissa Rivers is the kind of bitch that if someone even intimated you had sexual relations with her, you would beat the living shit out of them. And Joan, well, what can you say about a woman who lost her virginity to Abraham Lincoln.

The one with the brown hair (I don't know which Rivers is which) is wearing tassles from curtains as earrings.

Joan and Melissa Rivers walk into a bar and the bartender says, Hey, gals, why the long faces?

Written mathematically, I believe this is hideous squared.

the only thing worse than having to hear joan rivers talk about fashion is seeing her trying to be fashionable....which is difficult seeing as how your tits droop down to your knees.

http://www.dirtyrottenwhore.com

it's obvious that melissa's boobs are trying to reach down to catch her necklace...and why is she doing so many photo ops with heather locklear? strange combination...oh...nevermind...

it's pretty bad when your 80 year old mother looks better in cleavage showing gown than you do...

They both need to get husbands. Hello even Britney knew when to stop hanging out with her mom 24/7. Course in Britney's case it was because her mom was so much hotter than her.

Are these women? With...vaginas?

http://wampoon.com/

Joanie looks good!!

10 & 11. These women are mother and daughter? I thought they were SISTERS! Jesus, the one that is the daughter has got to be feeling shit about that! Someone needs to get better skin cream or the mother's got a great plastic surgeon...

Where is Mel Gibson when you need him?

one would think, if one's mother is the proverbial queen of plasticity, reconstructive surgery would be a family affair.. obviously, in the case of missy's boobage, it is sadly NOT.. perhaps her aspiration is to hook a midget letting her tits hang lo and they wobble to and fro.. hmm.. what an enticement..

http://www.stingybitches.com/"

I would hit them both... with a louisville slugger.

15. Mel? Where is the Taliban when you need them...cover up those faces for God...erggh, I mean Allah's sake!

http://www.spoonspam.com

mmm, yummy threesome. I'd tap them!

... now let me put down the crack pipe

joan's got a zsa zsa look going on........

i can't help but think about the family guy where joan rivers interviews brian on the red carpet...
"is your mike even plugged in"
"in my mind..."

Expanding on #16's comment. The fact that these two are WELL KNOWN for having had a hell of a lot of Plastic Surgery, it's amazing to me that why they were in getting their faces hacked away and sand blasted they didn't add a simple tit-lift to the mix.

I like the look on the face of the woman in the background in the third picture....she's got that "sweet mother of God" face going on as she diverts her eyes.

wow, i got like 15 boners looking these pics!

http://www.funderpants.com

i keep thinking of family guy where joan rivers interviews brian.. "OMG omg omg this is JOANN rivers here...."

...and really saggy careers too.

They have no business judging other people now.

#23: I was about to write the exact same thing !! Girl in backgroud of picture #3 looks completly annoyed by those saggy boobs ...
And Melissa, honey, you're starting to get wrinkles on your FOREARM ...

How the F is Melissa Rivers famous anyway?
And is it just me or does she look like she has every eating disorder known to man... as well as about 100 face lifts?
http://cooterpunch.blogspot.com

What is Joan showing us all TA DA-like in the third picture? Her ugly horsefaced daughter? What? Her backne?

Ahh, the joys of aging.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

OMG the arms! Forget the boobs - not that there is a lot to remember - but one has waddling turkey neck arms, and Joan looks like she had arms transplants from an Egyptian mummy.

Going back to the boob thing, watching the red carpet shows last night it was good to see that boobs are back in fashion. I like boobs. I really like boobs in my face.

Knock Melissa for riding on her mother's coat-tails all you want, but Joan Rivers could own the ass of everyone who thinks they're clever enough to comment here.

They remind me of Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn in the movie "Death Becomes Her" - the story of two women that can live forever, but end up looking like walking corpses in the end

Famous people who are famous just because they are famous are stupid. And Famous.

http://www.10pennypixel.com

We take you now to the Project Runway set:

Tim Gunn: "I'm worried Melissa, very worried, I can't tell your front from your back..."

Michael Kors: "The Madame Tussaud people just arrived..." 'nuf said.

Nina Garcia: "I'm sorry, I'm not getting the whole "drag queen from Target" thing, I'm sorry, I just don't get it..."

Heidi Klum: "You're Out...no really, get out!

33--20 years ago before dementia set in and back when she could move her mouth to speak, yeah. Now--no.

Her husband committed suicide -- did he have a vision of the future?

That dress Melissa has on is hideous, it's by Lucy, Lucy or something like that, her mom looks like an animated wax figure, these ladies should change their line of work soon.

Sorry, third picture again:
Does Melissa have a humid-crotch spot from sitting on a leatherette limo-car seat ?

The only thing Joan has going for her is her complete honesty about cosmetic surgery. She has said that she would get face lifts until her ears touched. I think she's achieved that.

#40: you mean until she gets a little beard ...

Oh jeez! Good god strike me blind! Only blindness will stop the vomiting.....
Oh dear, its too late....I've thrown up my liver....last rights?

The Duff sisters in 60 years....

I always wondered how Joan Rivers would look like without Plastic Surgery.

http://www.MavericksOnline.com

Amen to that #21.

Now one has to wonder, with how much they criticize other people's outfits...shouldn't they help each other out a little more?

And they know toasted. (Just like George Hamilton)

Do your boobs hang low,
Do they wobble to and frow.
Can you tie them in a knot,
Can you tie them in a bow.
Can you throw them over your shoulder...

YES YOU CAN NASTY BITCHES. PUT ON A BRA.

@47 - Hilarious....(even though I'll be singing it all f'ing day!)

Yummy. Joan's Soft Serve Ice Cream looks sooo good. And not even melting in the LA sun? Huh?

When did Michael Jackson get a bee-hive?

Joan Rivers used to be funny, she's not anymore. She actually looks ok in these pics, but I think she is a cautionary tale for plastic surgery. There are worse things than wrinkling - looking like Pinocchio, for instance. I'd rather be old-looking and withered than look like I should have strings coming out of my hands and feet as I sing along with the kid that turned into a donkey or whatever.

RE Melissa: the dress is not flattering. I don't know if her tay-tas are really that saggy, but the dress owes her boobs an apology nonetheless. But forget about the boobs, what about the lips? Why do women think it's hot to look like someone punched them in the mouth? Not everyone can look like Angelina. Give it up, ladies. Be happy with the lips you got. Damn.

i don't know why but it looks like the emmy award in the background is an extension of the jew daugter's hand & she's making rabbit ears over jew mother's head.
And believe you me, it took me a LOOONG time to figure out which one was mom & which one was daughter. the jew part was pretty obvious on both though.

That isn't cleavage, it's knee caps. They're both wearing sunglasses to cover their nipples. Joan dried up about the time WW II ended, but Melissa has to stick a tampon in her nose every 28 days.

It's official - after seeing these photos, I am now going to start sleeping exclusively with men...

Swoopers like those that end in a ski jumps are worthy. What the fuck does a bra do but provide a false impression that ends when it's removed? Bras and boob jobs are a waste - go to the gym instead. Where people fuck up is not spending proper money on dental work.

Now if this were National Geographic I could understand, but these are two women that have a strong relationship with many plastic surgeons and are known for it... so what's up? Support bra or surgery... ah fuck it, maybe we should all just let it hang. Free, free set them free. La, la la...

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

Crossdressers are people, too.

Those bitches should have been tossed out a long time ago.
Right now Im listening to Howard (repeat) and he's talking about Carnie Wilson.
I like Arrested Developement.

Should I have not added the E?

What is that wire Joan is discreetly holding in all the pictures? Some sort of life support?

Melissa has a stain on the back of her dress in pic 3. What could that be???

What is that wire Joan is discreetly holding in all the pictures? Some sort of life support?

Melissa has a stain on the back of her dress in pic 3. What could that be???

Thanks Superficial, I just lost my erection.

Nepotism at its finest, Melissa is a worthless bag of shite. Do they know everyone just laughs and makes fun of them or are they completely oblivious. Poor bastards.

I just started a new website, www.ihateeverybody.com. Just kidding.

Where's the other Rivers sister? What does she go by? Sandra Bullock, that's right.

Joan Rivers looks good here, but Melissa lost too much weight, it's obvious, since the first place women lose the weight is..guess where

Melissa should take those tassles off her ears and attach them to her nipples so that she can sweep the floor while talking to stars.