Aug 11 2006Lindsay Lohan has a stalker

1ST?

-But why do I feel so empty?

It's not a stalker, but someone who has been told they only have weeks to live. They just want to end it all a blaze of the Firecrotch.

I think shes just being visited by the Ghost of Herpes Future.

That 4th picture makes baby jebus cry. :( She could have the most disgusting legs I have ever seen.

#3 has it bang on.

I bet some poor old lady is sitting in her retirement home about to have a coronary because Lindsay Lohan stole her favorite outfit.

Doesn't she know that smoking will make her face all leathery looking??

Oh wait. :p

It's not a stalker, it's Brandon Davis trying to apologize for forever branding her "Firecrotch".

#5-I agree. I heard that a dog twisted her legs up and started to eat them, but then realized it was Lindsay Lohan. After that, he supposedly puked himself to death.

#7 ... her outfit AND her legs

Maybe there is no stalker, and its just Lindsey pretending to stalk herself. Maybe its for the attention, whereon she is a victim and not the problem maker.

http://www.BadBreakups.net

she wishes

I don't think it's really a stalker, this is just the way her PR person is characterizing her inevitable date with the Grim Reaper.

tic..toc...tic...toc...

It just sounds typical. I don’t even understand why something like that would make the news. Don’t all celebs have a stalker at one point or another in their career????

It seems that the interesting news only happens once in a while these days.

I mean, Paris Hilton getting bit by her “Baby Luv” is interesting…

And of course Dina Lohan thinking she’s the next Oprah is pretty hilarious.

It just wouldn’t be a full day without a boring Lindsay Lohan story now would it???

I think it’s stupid that she even acknowledges them. That’s what stalkers want!! If I were here, and I indeed had stalkers, I wouldn’t talk about it.

The best thing to do is ignore them. They will get the hint sooner or later, or be arrested.

I wish Lindsay would get a shrink… She needs a therapist.

Looking at these pictures, boy, this 'ho looks battered.

Ridden hard and put away wet.

Rode hard and put up wet.... Damn B'Slim, you beat me to it!...

Okay, to quote my mom "she looks like who did it and ran!"

Rode hard and put up wet.... Damn B'Slim, you beat me to it!...

Okay, to quote my mom "she looks like who did it and ran!"

OK, I'll admit it. I was the one who was stalking Lindsay. But that was before I saw these photos. Ugh. What the hell was I thinking? I'm going back to camping out on Michelle Trachtenberg's lawn.

ew, she smokes now.. and she's starting to look like her mother... yuck

and she has granny legs.. wtf is wrong with her?

I'm stalking her. Her fetid cooter ate my grandma. I LIKED that grandma.

Interesting thing I've noticed about the Hohan: she always manages to look human in exactly one photo, and like some sort of hideous, slutty, undead creature in all of the rest.

For example, photo #5 isn't that bad. Then you look at photo #7 and you go blind for an hout.

In the 2nd to last pic, are those her granny pantie thong drawers in her hand??

http://www.thesuperficial.com/image.php?path=/images/2006/08/lindsay-lohan-panties-01.jpg

i cannot stand her combover. she's got a forehead big enough to show a movie on.

She looks just like her mum with her head down...same age and everything. Lookin' good Dino!

We're talking about a girl who is photographed around the clock by strangers when she does the most mundane things. A girl who shows up in every celebrity gossip magazine, not to mention getting at least one story on this site per week. She can't even sneeze without having her picture taken. People climb in trees to look at her, and if she gets fired from her job hundreds of thousands of people know the next day.

And she's worried she might be getting stalked?

No one is stalking her... Think about, how convenient to have a mysterious stalker show up right after you get a straighten up and fly right letter from the studio. This is just a way she can stay in with an excuse." Hello, Movie studio, yes this is Ms. Lohans personal Asst., yes she can't make it in because her stalker is outside, yes he's on the beach."
This way they can't prove she hasn't got a stalker so they have to take it seriously.But it's really funny that the "stalker" knew when she was going to be at the studio, kinda like he knew she would be there...

How hard would it be to find Hohan? The infamous "shape up or ship out" letter did have her hotel's address on it. I think the producers on Georgia Rule want Linds to get stalked or killed so they can get more publicity for their film.

feck, they're on to me!

She should get this to protect herself:

http://www.sybarites.org/2006/08/05/armored-and-extended-bentley-continental-flying-spur/

pic #7: She must have fire-crapped her panties. Look at the expression on her face! I suppose she's searching for the nearest trash receptacle to ditch those crispy, crusty suckers!

Fat face (double-chin) with skinny legs ... I don't get it.

I would NOT hit it. Well, maybe.

In the fourth picture, where she is covering her face with her sweater, check out the ubiquitous red Kabbalah string on her left wrist. Ugh!

of course...

...if you imagine
...for a moment
...that it's
...a

pr

...opportunity :)

1. feels like i've got a stalker in my head, i need a fag

2. still sometimes it feels good, let's buy something :)

3. oh no, he'll see these, lets pretend to hide...

4. ok we dont have to hide, but we should probably be coy

5. is this out of order, or are we still buying stuff? i'm gonna make a dash for it and have a fag...

6. here i am back at the car, looking better :)

7. fuck, i puked over my top, should i was it or just throw it away... i might just drop it here

8. [smiling] i'll just hide it behind my back, still... looking forward to tonight :))

have fun babe :) stalker? nos?

just in there too L) [alien wiv a boot)

Based on what I've read about her, why would he need to stalk her?

#35 has it exactly right. and i think the weird crappy outfits are her pathetic attempt to dress better. someone should tell her that better does not equally weird-grandma-crappy. silly dog.

Mr. Superficial is the stalker... don't you get it? he posts stuff about her all day! He IS the stalker.

#38 it's ok, we do get it
we understand...
we understand...
...
we understand
#
that's a lot of work
to provide the results
for a busy person
assuming :)
that u
r

Aw, you caught me.

Regardless of how attractive people think she is, I have to empathize. Being stalked is terrifying-

http://www.holisticwisdom.com/stalking-cyber-stalking.htm

Ok, ok since none of you girlie-men are up for it, I will hit this std-infested sack of flesh;, but I request the following items be present in the room at all times:

1. the three breasted chick from the movie Total Recall.

2.five lard covered midget women, two white, one latina and two of mongolian descent.

3.two Remington double barrel shotguns.

4.a spatula.

5.a dozen titanium fiber condoms.

6.a continuous loop of "People who Died" by the Jim Carroll Band playing in the background.

7.two dollars.

She's one giant whore,err, freckle.

Her stalker is drunken stepfather. That fuckwad posts an "I am the Lohan stalker" shit nearly everyday. His obsession with Blowfuck makes me puke. She makes me puke. She makes me want to poke my eyeballs out with pencils.

i bet her pussy tastes like strawberries and i would bring the whip cream my niggers for real though

#42 - LMAO

And that is the difference between an average plebe and a true artist...

I salute you...

Lindsay, honey, don't you know that if you would just PAY your dealer what you owe him he wouldn't have to track you down at work? What, do you think just because you're "famous" you can get that shit for free?

42 B-slim

THIS is why you are my favorite pirate, EVER!!!!

And, tis my own opinion that the "stalker" is merely either :

A) the public health inspector, looking for his watch (guess where)

B)a hazmat team, wanting to practice sanitizing biological hell unleashed in a vagina

C)Homeland Security, trying to capture her, to fight the terrorists. you know, fight fire with fire-crotch.

C was not a referance to hair-color, rather a referance to the fact her disgusting cunt shoots flaming STD's when aggrevated.

Hugs kisses and cocks in your face fishies.

has anyone read her interview in spetember's Elle? she is SERIOUSLY retarded. i mean in a DSMiv kind of way. waht a dumbass! and might i say, FUGLY

Guess who I fucked last night?

Did you guess?

C'mon, it's easy, just guess.

For those who say "your honor student", you are dead wrong.

I fucked the retarded kid, with the helmet on, in the corner. She was special.

#49 that dsm iv is a helluva read, in much the same way that cocaine is a helluva drug. looks like paris has maybe been giving too much to her friends again.
...damn she gets cross
...when she's not the centre
...of attention

http://www.x17online.com/blog/archive/2006/august/13/article/paris-producer-scott-storch-tries-his-hand-at-firecroth/

...methinks
...she protesteth
...too much

wethinks
maybe
paris
is our
firecrotch
but deigns
to accept
the honour

#55 linds, you got nothing to worry about from this loser...

AGUILERA POKES FUN AT STORCH ON NEW ALBUM TRACK

CHRISTINA AGUILERA has started a new war of words by subtly dissing super-producer SCOTT STORCH on her new album BACK TO BASICS.

The pop star signs off on the track F.U.S.S. with the line, "Looks like I didn't need you/Still got the album out," after berating the hip-hop hitmaker for walking away from her new album to concentrate on working with PARIS HILTON.

Coy Aguilera tells Rolling Stone magazine, "By no means am I trying to start anything... I just needed to get things off my chest." The producer recently told the same publication that he and Aguilera had fallen out when she refused to send a jet to pick him up in Florida and fly him out to Los Angeles, where she was recording.
Aguilera laughs, "An airplane? I thought he was supposed to be a big baller (super rich)."

source: http://www.pr-inside.com/rss/aguilera-pokes-fun-at-storch-on-new-album-track-r14842.htm

dear old popsugar...

"Dina Lohan claims to have an Apprentice-like talk show in the works. Of course no networks have picked up her show yet but she is still working it. Apparently all of LLs friends call her "The White Oprah" since all the kids come to her for advice. Now that's a scary thought. "

frightmare [that was me] dina, can you leave your daughter the fuck alone. she old enough to look after herself and really doesnt need you interfereing all the time. so "youre fired" i'm getting a manager

...sorry chenneliong

[chanel'ing]

source: http://www.starmagazine.com/celebrity_news_gossip/star/9416

lindsey lohan is a grandma...

i imagined myself killing lindsay yesterday & it made me chuckle. sh*t, i'm laughing right now.

Lindsay needs to eat a couple of cheesesteaks

No way is this a real stalker. A real stalker knows where you are all the time, and therefore would not have sent flowers to the set -- see, 'cause Lohan's never there.

Plus, flowers? Maybe a baggie with blow in it, but not flowers. C'mon...we know she's sending this stuff to herself for attention...

i am so relieved about her eyebrows i dont care about the old lady look

she probably just made it up because the last drama ( re: letter to perez hilton ) she did was so hilarious she needed to pull another stunt to get the public interested in her . pathetic .

Would you stalk this???

http://www.exposay.com/lindsay-lohan-cocktail-party-and-intimate-dinner-in-celebration-of-the-cartier-charity-love-bracelet/p/3386/39/

That security guard may well have been misquoted. I believe he meant to say 'talker' rather than 'stalker' (eathy mithtake, ethpethially if thomeone lithpth), as Lohan apparently screwed some guy who had the audacity to want to 'talk' after peppering her freckled face with his man-Jergens. Ms. Lohan is used to walks of shame and shouts of "Get out bitch! And clean your face off in the hall!!", and took the attempt at basking in the glow as an offense rather than the kind gesture it was meant to be. Easy mistake.

Hmm. Perhaps the stalker who's leaving her notes, and wants to "meet with her" is actually just a studio executive wanting to get her to work, and that's the only way to get her attention.

"Lindsey, hun? Nicotene is not a food group, okay? It's alright if you weigh more than your clothes."

http://www.reidaboutit.com

The stalker in question has been identified as Lars Baadtaystinchix. He purportedly has a Pippi Longstocking/elderly fetish - which would explain his irresistible attraction to Li-Lo. He was apprehended earlier today at an area Wendy's, gazing forlornly up at the restaurant's signature red-headed, pig-tailed mascot. When asked why he was stalking America's least liked celeb, Baadtaystinchix asserted that he wasn't stalking her. He just wanted her to know that she gave him herpes and he didn't appreciate it.

#11 and #14

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She's being stalked by her coke habit and that gold-digging social climber wannabe mother of hers.

shes so old cause of her partyingggg.....and how much people talk abotu her

the only thing stalking her is the "firecrotch" nickname.

wow, can't he spend time on someone who's not a beast?