August 31, 2006
Kate Moss is the best hat wearer ever

In the most pointless story of the week, Kate Moss has been named Britain's best hat wearer by a consortium of weirdos aimed at promoting hat wearing. A spokesman for the consortium says:
"Kate manages to wear the most elaborate and extravagant millinery designs with great confidence and aplomb and, most importantly, without the hat seemingly wearing her. She has the face to launch a thousand hat collections and has done much to promote hat wearing in recent years."
And because I laugh in the face of ridiculous associations for ridiculous causes, here are some shots of Kate Moss leaving Miyama restaurant not wearing a hat, including a closeup of her engagement ring. A ring so laughably small it's often confused with Paris Hilton's brain.
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» Jessica Simpson hangs out with Jackasses


Comments
1. Posted by llllllllll on August 31, 2006 12:15 PM
yyessssssssssss first again
2. Posted by Jake on August 31, 2006 12:17 PM
she looks like shit.
http://wampoon.com/
3. Posted by piratekuhnbeard on August 31, 2006 12:18 PM
I don't understand how the title and article relate.
4. Posted by Jake on August 31, 2006 12:19 PM
...and pete doherty just got paid. still, there's only so much ring he can afford.
5. Posted by llllllllll on August 31, 2006 12:21 PM
My friend edits several popular magazines and she tells me that Kate Moss has severe aligator skin..face and body...she also said that Jennifer Lopez (remember her guys?)has a very bad case of cellulite and jiggly fat lumps. She said all of those flaws ultra altered in magazines before publishing.
6. Posted by llllllllll on August 31, 2006 12:24 PM
I don't understand that HUGE space between Kate's legs....can someone explain that to me?
7. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on August 31, 2006 12:28 PM
Did she get that ring at Walmart? No wonder I've never heard Babyshambles, if that's all Pete can afford after taking care of #1 (his drug habit) they mustn't sell many albums. I bet her herpes has syphilis.
8. Posted by CelebSlam.com on August 31, 2006 12:31 PM
Don't fuck with the hat consortium. Trust me.
http://www.celebslam.com
9. Posted by gas_up_the_hrududu on August 31, 2006 12:33 PM
What lovely dirty fingernails she has. I'll be generous and assume that right before the picture was taken she had been working in her garden while jauntily wearing a fetching sunhat.
10. Posted by Ariana on August 31, 2006 12:36 PM
Is that just a random ass couple making out in the background? I find that way more interesting than anything else in the article.
11. Posted by Tim on August 31, 2006 12:37 PM
She looks so old and overly tanned... and as for the ring, maybe she should have taken cue from Mrs. Spears/Federline/Shamu and purchased her own ring, since the man she is choosing to marry can't afford anything decent.
12. Posted by Ariana on August 31, 2006 12:37 PM
No wait, it's a little girl being carried. False alarm.
13. Posted by RichPort on August 31, 2006 12:38 PM
Great! Now she can go for the best food eater... that of course involves her actually putting something edible in her mouth, but she really should go for it.
14. Posted by tito on August 31, 2006 12:39 PM
#6... uhh... that's what happens when you're not fat.
Speaking of which, what's up with that cellulite looking stuff on her right leg?
15. Posted by jrzmommy on August 31, 2006 12:39 PM
There she goes wearing them shorty shorts and her knee-high moccassins again.
I never see her in a hat. What the fuck are these people talking about?
16. Posted by Trashley on August 31, 2006 12:40 PM
Look at that cellulite on her thighs. Ew.
17. Posted by llllllllll on August 31, 2006 12:59 PM
#14-I'm not fat but the space between my legs don't look as though Rosie O'Donald can run through it unnoticed
18. Posted by commissioner on August 31, 2006 1:04 PM
I know some native americans who would beat her skinny ass if she showed up around here sportin' those knee high mocs. They'd take her ring to the indian bank when they were done.
19. Posted by FrinkTank on August 31, 2006 1:07 PM
Kate does not have cellulite. She's just wearing flesh-toned cargo pants packed with cocaine.
20. Posted by BriBri on August 31, 2006 1:14 PM
That looks like Petey behind her in the 2nd pic. Skuzzy, skinny jeans, Chucks....carrying a young girl. Eh.
Anywhore....about Kate....bla, is she still relevant?
21. Posted by Jacq on August 31, 2006 1:16 PM
I think the picture about her hand is more about cocaine under her fingernail than the diamond chip sorry excuse for a ring. Pete probably pawned it for H.
Second, when does she NOT look like shit.
Third, I predict that her next award will be for promoting mocassins or stupid footwear or something along those lines.
Someone should have a pro-drug rally in her honor. Seriously.
22. Posted by I_hate_you on August 31, 2006 1:22 PM
Actually, if you unscrew the top of the ring, that's where she keeps the coke.
23. Posted by guest1234567 on August 31, 2006 1:24 PM
I thought engagement rings go on the right hand, not the left. The second picture shows a huge ring on her right hand.
24. Posted by jrzmommy on August 31, 2006 1:24 PM
And her legs are all googlie when she walks again. She needs them crutches that attach to her arms to keep her walking straight or something. She's like a Jerry's Kid.
25. Posted by hendero on August 31, 2006 1:45 PM
I'd hit it
26. Posted by commissioner on August 31, 2006 1:57 PM
*googlie*
giggles.
alas, another "partied out whore". (who wears bad shoes.)
27. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on August 31, 2006 2:00 PM
Hat wearing can be exciting, just depends on what head you put it on.
I know, naughty girl!
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
28. Posted by StomachPunch on August 31, 2006 2:01 PM
Best hat wearer eh? shouldnt it be more like best filthy rotten whore who snorts coke while wearing hats wearer?
http://www.dirtyrottenwhore.com
29. Posted by combustion8 on August 31, 2006 2:07 PM
Skin's looking at little leathery but I'd still hit it like it's friday afteroon.
30. Posted by The Devil's Prom Date on August 31, 2006 2:08 PM
Does anyone...still wear...a hat?
31. Posted by jane's eyre on August 31, 2006 2:24 PM
@23
No, you wear the engagement ring on your left ring finger, where it's later joined by the wedding band.
You're thinking of the "right-hand ring", also known as the "I'm-too-ugly-and/or-fat-to-ever-get-an-engagement-ring-so-to-make-myself-feel-better-I'll-buy-myself-a-big-gaudy-diamond-ring-and-act-cavalier-about-not-having-to-bother-waiting-for-a-MAN-to-buy-me-one-because-of-the-aforementioned-ugly/fatness-factor" ring.
32. Posted by jane's eyre on August 31, 2006 2:35 PM
This is Kate's signature hat:
http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e56/sohall/kate_moss_miayama_00.jpg
33. Posted by alaskanchicsickle on August 31, 2006 2:46 PM
She is suffering a total meltdown, but even so, she's still too pretty for Pete.
34. Posted by mikeski on August 31, 2006 2:56 PM
In related news, I was just voted The Universe's Best Jimmy-Hat Wearer, by a consortium of completely different weirdos.
35. Posted by guest1234567 on August 31, 2006 3:15 PM
Thanks #31
36. Posted by hav-a-tampa on August 31, 2006 3:26 PM
i'd still do her. she can come live in my basement anytime.
37. Posted by LilRach on August 31, 2006 3:34 PM
She's a fucken Supermodel and most of you are taking the piss out of how bad she looks?????? Talk about being jealous!
To the guys on this site - if you had a chance you would hit that! And to all the chicks who are mocking her you are either butt ugly, fat or just plain jealous!
38. Posted by alaskanchicsickle on August 31, 2006 3:36 PM
LilRach, yet again you are an obnoxious twerp.
39. Posted by LilRach on August 31, 2006 3:41 PM
"Twerp"! - ok grandma!
40. Posted by bigponie on August 31, 2006 3:46 PM
LilRach is right, I would fuck this girl in every Kama Sutra position ever written.
41. Posted by knowhere on August 31, 2006 3:50 PM
you gotta admit, as far as useless celebs go, kate moss is okay. she looks rather unconventional yet made loads of cash by being a model - more power to her. her choice of mate is crap though. what's it with hotties and ugly retards lately? and that ring looks like it came from a crackerjack box.
42. Posted by jane's eyre on August 31, 2006 3:52 PM
What's "taking the piss out of how bad she looks" mean? Is that like reconstituting sewer water? Hm. Muy interesante.
43. Posted by combustion8 on August 31, 2006 3:55 PM
Indeed I would hit it until the cows came home.
44. Posted by Dory on August 31, 2006 4:02 PM
Maybe she dosn't want a great big Tacky ring just to say look at me I'm rich. Your suppose to Like what your wedding ring looks like not just wear it cause its expensive and she is only little, a little ring to go with a little person.
45. Posted by bigponie on August 31, 2006 4:02 PM
#42
I beleive it's when a group of people piss on an individual in an attempt to wash away the ugliness! of course I could be wrong.
46. Posted by LilRach on August 31, 2006 4:09 PM
Here you go.....
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=taking+the+piss
47. Posted by combustion8 on August 31, 2006 4:14 PM
I would rail her until my teeth fell out... or her's which ever came first... shes british so her's may fall out soon after the railing started.
48. Posted by jane's eyre on August 31, 2006 4:15 PM
My goodness, you certainly have a distinguished vocabulary. I can never keep up with the latest expressions.
49. Posted by Armed on August 31, 2006 5:09 PM
I honestly can't tell if there's a diamond in that ring or if it's a speck of dust on the camera lens...maybe it's a teeny tiny crack rock. How romantic.
50. Posted by mrs.t on August 31, 2006 5:40 PM
When she's good and photoshopped, she's stunning. In this and other untouched photos, however, she is straight-up Appalachian-on-the-porchswing (a la Deliverance). The silly moccoboots support this opinion.
51. Posted by nc72 on August 31, 2006 5:54 PM
Recent photo of her wearing a hat
http://www.exposay.com/kate-moss-bobby-gillespie-of-primal-scream-married-katy-england-at-st-margarets-church/p/3245/0/?j=3580
Full gallery...
http://www.exposay.com/bobby-gillespie-of-primal-scream-married-katy-england-at-st-margarets-church/v/3245/
52. Posted by Carvinho on August 31, 2006 7:06 PM
Looks more like a ring pull.
53. Posted by jane's eyre on August 31, 2006 9:42 PM
I think my hat is waaaay more interesting in #32. Just sayin'.
54. Posted by Celetina on August 31, 2006 9:49 PM
"She has the face to launch a thousand hat collections"
This is the most utterly inane and shallow compliment anyone has ever given in the history of humankind.
55. Posted by MyWellRehearsedMistake on September 1, 2006 3:32 AM
#32. Thank you for that picture of Kate's best hat - that made me laugh a lot (but then I do consider myself a fan of your artwork)
In other unrelated news "taking the piss" is a very common expression in the world outside the US and I have to stop myself from saying it nearly every time I post on the Superfish. Oh, the burden of being British.
oh and #7. She probably didn't get it at Walmart seeing as we don't have them here. (one of the perks of being British). Try Tesco, it's a Tesco Value Ring.
56. Posted by AmberDextrose on September 1, 2006 3:38 AM
#53 - it is a splendid hat. Could it not have a bobble, though?
How is it that unbrushed hair, grubby nails, fag breath, coke skin and grey teeth = supermodel? And she has bandy legs.
She's like The Emperor's New Whore. There's some serious mind-over-matter-y goin on here!
57. Posted by Prinky on September 1, 2006 6:41 AM
#53 -- that is a great hat! Perhaps the best hat ever. Where can I get myself one?
58. Posted by jane's eyre on September 1, 2006 8:07 AM
Thanks all. I was feeling so unappreciated. I was like, dammit, I spent ALL that time perfecting that masterpiece on Paintbrush, and I don't get a single hardee-har-har? You have restored my faith in mankind's ability to appreciate "the funny".
59. Posted by RichPort on September 1, 2006 8:39 AM
Can a plastic bag be considered a hat? If so, I'd like to see one over her head.
60. Posted by jrzmommy on September 1, 2006 10:03 AM
Jane--The Hat Consortium should name you Designer of the Year!!
61. Posted by tits_on_snack on September 1, 2006 10:08 AM
Whatev. Take that $16,000 dollar outfit off her and she looks just like one of the battered wives and junkies smoking cigarettes on the front steps of the woman's shelter I walk by every morning on my way to work.
62. Posted by some girl on September 1, 2006 11:06 AM
#31 In Europe it's the other way around. Women often wear engagment and wedding rings on their right hand ring finger.
Whenever I travel I always remember to change my ring over to my left hand to alert the nice European men as to the my singledom.
63. Posted by iheartjoshblue on September 1, 2006 1:50 PM
# 31, 23: I have never bothered to post here before, but I often skim through other's comments, and have been known to thoroughly distract my office mates with snickers and yelps. On the occasion when someone is offensive, I don't bother getting riled up, because everyone can see how pathetic racism/sexism/homophobia is. But Jane's Eyre, your mockery of women who chose to value themselves for themselves, rather than as potential mates, is a tragic form of degredation that is far too often accepted even by those people who claim not to be sexist. I don't know if you just taking a cheap (and failed) attempt at humour, but comments like those are why so many beautiful, intelligent, loving women end up puking their guts out or blowing their brains out over whether or not they can "get" a man, even if he is arrogant, ignorant, unkempt, disrespectful, boring, or just plain mean. Or, as you say "fat and ugly." How desperate are you that you need to affirm your own worth by using this deranged mentality to spit on the most senselessly self-loathing women? You couldn't be any grosser if you were fat and ugly too. And don't even get me started about what a winner your partner must be for having scored you...
64. Posted by commissioner on September 1, 2006 3:20 PM
@63
Yo, Grumpy Gus!
I don't affirm my self-worth by purchasing a couple hundred dollar piece of shit at Zales. I just buy a new sports car.
Those stupid "right hand ring" commercials are aimed at women who are single and have disposable income to purchase their gaudy shit. Doesn't have anything to do with self-worth. It's simple math. Poor, single, lonely Jane Doe can't afford a spankin' new BMW, so she runs to the mall and picks up a 14K gold piece o' crap to make her pathetic life seem a little more bright.
65. Posted by commissioner on September 1, 2006 3:23 PM
So, take your disposable income and go buy yourself a sense of humor.
66. Posted by bogdana on September 1, 2006 6:57 PM
He must've bought that ring with all the royalties from the last Libertines album.
67. Posted by beifiori on September 3, 2006 4:00 AM
I always find it hilarious when someone pops in the "you are so jealous/ugly/fat" comment if someone doesn't like the way a person looks or behaves. really, that's an amazing deduction, wish I could come up with THAT! NOT! believe it or not #37, there are people in this world who aren't jealous/fat/ugly and think that kate is a skank, but I understand that lack of maturity somehow clouds one's judgement and makes them stamp their feet like a petulant child wahhhing about how jealous/ugly/fat people are...seriously, it also leads me to believe that you must somehow look like the she-skank crack ho, otherwise you wouldn't be so nasty and defensive about it.
in kate's defense, when I was living in Europe, I found that many women (and some men) wore very tiny rings like the one she is sporting, and they were very obviously wealthy people...maybe they aren't caught up in the notion that the gem must be the size of texas to be impressive...gold is a whole lot cheaper there than it is here, as well as diamonds, at least where I was living and/or visited, not to mention that 18k is the standard there...anyway, maybe she likes understated jewelery for everyday use. who knows, but i don't really see anything wrong with it myself....now, call me jealous, fat and ugly, but I do see something wrong with her butt ugly face and rail-thin body, and as thin as she is, she's got cellulite working on that right leg...she must be fat!
68. Posted by iheartjoshblue on September 4, 2006 7:43 PM
#65- I wasn't responding to the fact that janeseyre was making fun of women for buying those rings, I was enraged at the reason's he assumed they "needed" to do it.
And, although I don't know why I am bothering to point this out, I doubt I'd check in to this site regularly and laugh out loud unless I thought it was funny- wait, finding stuff funny= having a sense of humour, right? I just didn't find that lameass funny because.he.wasn't.
Do you laugh at everyone who think's that they're funny? Wow, I thought that was just my senile grandma.
69. Posted by jrzmommy on September 5, 2006 7:01 AM
I call diamond rings that women buy for themselves "Nobody Loves Me Like I Love Me" rings.
70. Posted by Amy3000 on September 15, 2006 12:40 PM
Thats not a ring..its a coke baggie