Fez pulling some serious ass!

http://www.celebslam.com

Alba is a fucking bitch. I hope she knows that Vancouver can't stand her spoiled ass and we can't fucking wait until she takes her shitty fucking attitude back to the US.

It appears as though she's pooping her pants in the second photo. Yes, even pretty girls go #2.

As for him, meh. I don't get the attraction. He had a Mickey Mouse on his bad in his Cribs episode. Puss.

yeah jessica alba might look like she just came out of saved by the bell and as awkward as she might be i still hit up that fine ass biotch....even if she only had one arm and on the other arm was a festering wart...id still hit it.

http://www.dirtyrottenwhore.com

*bed*

#4 - Actually, then you'd be doing Paris Hilton.

Will someone please kick the ass of whoever said that sunglasses with lenses larger than a dinner plate was cool? Ridiculous.

"YO Mama so black, if you throw salt on her she looks like space"

Maybe he offered he "wun douseeng dollers gash muhnee" to be seen with him. If so, I'll give her twice that to run around my bed naked with a "RICHPORT RULES" sign... just as long as she doesn't wake up my wife.

"YO Mama so black, if you throw salt on her she looks like space"

@9 hahahahaha!

your site is acting weird. maybe its me. the first time i commented it told me "timed out bad gateway". so i sent it again and look two posts. I look like a FREAKING MORON! That was supposed to be SECRET!

Glad to see Jessica is still smiling from the nice, hard fucking I gave her a few weeks ago.
I like to see my bitches happy.

She is really cute and I think she looks fine except for her Chuck Taylors. Shoot, compared to Blohan she looks like a fashion plate. Fez on the other hand... I just don't get it with him. He's short and seems really obnoxious and full of himself. He must have a great drug connection or something. Hey, isn't he going to play Ponch in an upcoming Chips remake?

Britney Spears was right - people really can time travel...

@3- I would like to watch you go #2...

through a necklace of beer can tabs!

In pic #3 she looks like she's about to grab his crotch.

Actually, it's not "Fez" but "FES" for Foriegn Exchange Student. Surprised you didn't know that. (And a special bonus goes to whomever names the movie that quote came from.)

What's 'Yo Mama'? Or will I be sorry I asked? I'm glad I haven't seen it if Fes/z is in it - he's one fugly mutha. How can he pull a pretty girl like this after Paris/Blohan skanks? Think of the diseases he must have!

Jessica is the hottest woman in Hollywood.

I'm stating this as irrefutable absolute and universal facts: Wilmer Valderrama is a tool and a douchebag.

do SOMETHIN' big boy!

yeah, you better keep walkin'

pussy ass Goya beaner

Maybe you think they look so weird because they look "normal"- despite Alba's fish lips.

#18- 16 Candels

i miss lindsay lohan's bikini shots...we have not seen any new ones in weeks!

This is a stupid post and I don't get it.

What looks so saved by the bell about it? Just looks like a casual day.

Gee, Lainey Gossip calls Alba a diva and apparently Alba is a diva. Here's a newsflash - if you are one of the hottest women in North America, you are allowed to be a bitch.

If I looked like Jessica Alba, I'd be twice as bitchy and a bona fide lesbian.

#16 - Is that you? I noticed the 'Stros link. I miss getting hit-on by your Southern accent!

Ah whatever she looks good!
http://www.exposay.com/jessica-alba/1/c/1118/

he did Mandy M.? Yo Mamma show is horrible, he tries to look and act so cool. the skinny pant thing isnt her look

This fucker was one ugly gene away from picking bananas in whatever fucking country he's from and now he's dating Alba, WTF..................

well, since I AM YoMomma, i feel i need to post. Not sure what about, since this story sucks.
umm so yeah. Fez sucks. Jessicas pants suck.
Ok.

I don't care what Tranny says...after seeing this...we are NOT having threesomes with Jessica Alba anynmore!

Well, not until the next time.

Jessica Alba looks amazing.

I hope her and Fez are just friends and not doing anything together...

Fez is so nasty.

@27- Yep! Believe the Buzz!!!
The DisAstros ain't been doing so hot.
Berkman and Ensberg need to get on the stick
and Biggio needs to get himself out of his slump, etc.

Yo Mamas so fat
She fell in love and broke it

Guess Jessica likes her blow. That, supposedly, is how a guy named Wilmer who looks like a Venezuelan fag is able to consort with Hollywood's hotties. He's young Hollywood's coca connection. Before you dismiss this as bullshit, think about it. From interviews given, the guy has little personality and no class (Howard Stern revelations). He was the goofy fuck on That 70's Show and he has a pathetic excuse for a television show on MTV called "Yo Momma". He was only in this country 2 years before getting That 70's Show gig and could barely speak English. Now contrast that meager resume with whom his banana has supposedly been in - Mandy Moore, Lindsay Lohan, Ashlee Simpson, and Jennifer Love Hewitt. I'm certain there are even a few I've left out. He's like 5'4, speaks with an accent, and is in no way a major Hollywood star and he pulls that kind of ass? Bullshit.

THis is just SO WRONG!
He is just such a tool, and she is just so fine.

I can't believe you based a post on saying Alba's clothes are "like, so 90's".

You're officially a fag now.

One word came to mind immediately when I saw his wide-open Air Jordans: Cutter. For anyone under the age of 35-ok 40, goddam you all-rent Breaking Away.

And kids can taunt MY kids with: "Yo Mamma's so old she references movies from the early eighties." And then the baby will projectile-shit all over them and they will STFU.

Nice to see her make a fashion faux pas.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

Fuck, I still don't fucking know who the fuck this fucking fucker is with this fucking beautiful fuckable fucking girl.

I don't care what you guys say, I think Valderamma is a fricking hottie. I hear he has an ENORMOUS cock and is an absolute stud in bed, which is why so many ladies love him. The "Latin Lover" kinda thing. Not drugs.

@38- "It's Heidi food. Linguini, Zucchini.
Anything that ends in "ini" is Heidi food."

Oh my God....

High Tops...

Loosely Laced...

Tongues folded out...

Jeans Tucked into shoes...

My brother totally rocked this look ten years ago... except his High Tops were pumps... and pumps were freaking awesome.

I also forgot to mention that her jeans are tapered which makes ANYONE look bad...

I still like Chuck Taylors, so I'm glad she brought that one back...

Although, whoever said this wasn't 90s, I guess you also missed that he is wearing a shirt with lightning bolts.

someone else may have pointed this out already but if not... the fucking creepy guy in the white shirt in the last pic is fucking Jon Mark Karr!!! Maybe he'll accidentally kill those two as well and do us all a favor.

Well good on him if he is fucking her! What a score for him and a BIG score for her considering the rumours about his massive cock! I don't see what the big deal is about this post. For all we know they are probably just friends!
Everyone's so touchy and acting as if they know them personally - it's funny!
oh yeah and get over the clothes - fuck she's just dressed casually and everyone takes the piss - at least this chick has some dignity and never dresses like a skank! Anyway that's my moan and groan for the day! Later

The chicks only like him cus they can see eye-to-eye with him.

get it?

eye-to-eye?

wow look at all her fake new hair! and she better stop getting those lip injections, they'll be screwed up when she's older. file her in the just another girls gone wild bim look. i can't wait for the porn generation to get old they are going to be so f*&%$! up

Jessica could poop in her hand and eat it and I would still have an overwhelming desire to kiss her.

Drugs ? Latin Wang ?
I'm sure she's more interested in discussing how demographics and prevailing economic conditions resulted in the political rise in popularity of Hugo Chavez and how this might relate to future developments in Latin America.

But...then again....it is Fez...

#45 hmm... I was around throughout the entire 90's and I don't get your lightening bolt reference. I'm sure (due to law of averages) I must have seen some article of clothing that had one, but none that I can recall and if it was a 'theme' of the times it didn't do a very good job.

I also don't get the 90's comment, with the possible exception of the tapered pants which most people now know better than to wear. I think those were more popular in the mid-late 80's (maybe before, I was a bit young then) and faded out in the early 90's. Except for Lindsay Lohan who still feels the need to wear leggings over a long and loose shirt. While those are not Jeans they are tapered and look terrible!

The layered tank top is a very current thing. I think Jessica looks great when she's not wearing those horrible sunglasses. I don't like her shoes either (did we expect to like what Wilmer would be wearing?).

Is it just me or is Jess looking rather A-Cup these days? I suspect she probably has help from the push-up department...

She used to be passably attractive in Dark Angel, but I just don't dig the extensions/collagen look.

Im not a huge fan of hers... I don't hate her I just think she's boring I mean look at the comments here all bland boring. She's never even been in a good movie, her only claim to fame is she looks nice in a pair of togs but so do a lot of people... and her lips are getting way to fishy

i don't see the connection with the whole 90's thing mr. superficial. you're on crack.

are they together or is he just that gay best friend that everybody has?

Is Wilmer wearing Nike Pumps?

Hey let's face it: she has absolutely no idea how to dress properly. Have a look at this pics: http://www.x17online.com/blog/archive/2006/july/07/article/jessica-goes-to-alba-rtsons/

Is it just me or is she the Latina version of Britney Spears? The resemblance is particularly striking in the last pic.

He's even wearing his shoes like Zack Morris (with the tongue pushed out). Not to mention the wallet chain ... haven't seen one of those since '98.

54. Boring? Probably, she seems pretty vacant in the few interviews I have seen, and she is pure mahogany as an actress.

When a woman looks that fine, she can doesn't need to be deep, or interesting, or even literate. She's probably not someone you'd spend a lot of time with, when you aren't fucking her senseless, which would be most of the time ;^)

That fuckin spic bastard gets more ass than a goddam toilet seat. W. T. F.? Coke, schlong, whatever....she's gone down a few notches in my exalted opinion. He's the goddam Scott Baio of his generation. Lucky asshole.

I'm so drunk. (Eric Cartman voice) I love you guys.....

58. I dunno.. that hat is pretty cute. And those clothes while not exactly starting a fashion trend, seem very flimsy and like they could be removed in an instant.

So I'm sold, I'll take one of her in that please.

#62 - Sad as it may be, spic bastards are fucking, have fucked, or will fuck your woman too. It's a fact of life. Only Latinos and French guys can get away with looking like fruits and stil be considered sexy and spicy. Of course the French will surrender just as you walk in the bedroom when he's plastering your wife's pretty little face, while the Latino will say to her "Joo deedent tell me joo haf a boyfreng. I leeveng puta", slap his dick on her cheek, then, naked, shake your hand and apologize on the way out.

Your mom's so fat they call her "moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom."

Jessica Alba, please call me. I am so sorry... Remember back in 2nd grade? Hide and go seek? Pitty-Pat? Red Light, Green Light? Just forgive me.. I have that famous ass picture of yours at the beach tatooed on the inside of my eyeballs... oh sleep, why dost thou leave me?

..so stoned.

a 13" dick and a pipeline straight from the coca fields still doesn't justify this guys track record. I say he's gay. He's non-threatening to the ladies, they don't have to sleep with him, it's like hanging out with a girlfriend. In fact, it looks like they been doing a little product shopping together in these pictures. I've been with my husband for 15 years and he's NEVER gone product shopping -- ever. Wilmer is gay.

"Yo mamma so fat you gotta take a bus and two trains to get on her good side."

#67 HA!!!

Yo mama so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all of the W's.

Yo mama has wooden boobs and breast feeds beavers.

Yo momma so ugly her nickname is DAMN!

Yo mama so fat she stepped on an airplane and it turned into a submarine.

yo momma so old she remembers central park when it was just a shrub

Yo mama so stupid she put a peep hole in a glass door.

Fez is packing SERIOUS heat!! Wish he went both ways. Lucky girl. Size DOES matter

yo momma so fat when she sits around the house she sits AROOOOOOUUUUUUUNNNNNDDDDD the house.

Oh yeah? Yo mama so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to EVERYBODY!

Yo momma so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck!

yo momma so old her social security number is 0

Hey rich, let's replace Momma with DanYELL!!

DanYELL so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.

damnYELL is like a screen door - after a couple of bangs she tends to loosen up.

damnYELL is so stupid she sat on the TV and watched the couch!

You're right... this IS more fun...

DamnYELL is so ugly she makes onions cry

damnYELL is like chunky peanut butter... lumpy, brown, and easy to spread!

DamnYELL is so poor her face is on foodstamps.

damnYELL is fat when she step on the scale it says...'to be continued'...

Congrats Vilmer!

I don't get it. So men want a woman with no shape & no boobs & huge fish lips? There is no hope for those of us who have bodies that actually look like a woman.

No shame in having small boobs...I was just surprised since everyone goes on about Jess's boobs and they appear to be much smaller than in her photos.

I suspect foul play and Wonderbra.

Gorilla not care about boobs. Jess has fine ass, me want.

Gorilla want know where Screech fit into all this?

@ # 88: "Solomon Grundy not hold it! Solomon Grundy hold police car!"

Dude he's got a snake in his pants and Jessica wants it bad. That's all it is homie. This is just the foreplay.

http://wampoon.com/

YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING STUPID. YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF WILMER FOR BEING A SPIC BUT JESSICA IS ONE TOO.

What's 90's about this? If anything its 80's. I will be SO PISSED if I find out this douche fucks her. She still holds the title as the hottest bitch in hollywood. I would lick her poop shoot until my tongue no longer had taste buds.

Wouldn't be too hard to "work his mojo" on that useless untalented brainless moron.

What? No! She can't be dating this guy! I liked Cash! What happened. As if I haven't had enough crap today. That's it, I'm jumping out this window. Goodbye world, I can't take your cruelty....

F*** all of ya talking bout latinos dats y ya all drool when u actually c a latinos dick cuz its actualy a normal size not a 2 inch shit... and a normal size women body not the double aa chests ya have... ya talk crap bout him cuz ya wish ya can get as many bitches as he can... ya dont c neone else in hollywood whos not Latino geting as many bitches...and for all ya ignorants hes not mexican hes venezuelan and colombian.... y u think miss universe latinas are always da ones winning? u almost never c ms germany or something else winning because us latinos got the best bodies best COLOR...(cuz we actually got color) normal sized bodies and normal size dicks....so if ur hating then dont even come searching for shit about him and f*** off seriously. ya know da sayin once u f*** spanish or black theres no goin bak...LMAO!