Nice legs, but the face is looking kinda' harsh.

I hope my ass looks that good when I'm 80.

The face is bit harsh and take a gander at the waddles on her neck.

It totally looks like she just came out of a major Botox session and thus cannot move her face at all

No ass, chicken legs, old leathery face = NO HOT. Sorry. Her days are over. Now she dates the Spademeister.

Yeah, she's starting to get that old woman doughiness...too bad, so sad.

Is she wearing a Kabuki mask? She'd look much better with a natural face that matches her corpse neck. Nice bod tho.

Oh, this is the best EVER!!!! I thought a saw a little swatch of pube underneath...

I'd hit that. Hard and repeatedly. I'd hit that until the Botox wore off and she could actually raise her eyebrows in climactic ecstasy. But only if she let me call her Sammy Jo... then I'd feel like I'm 12 again, this time without the Jergens and people banging on the bathroom door asking if I was done yet.

I'd like to plant my mouth firmly on her dirty asshole...

Ohh yeah :P id tap that ass!

http://www.playpacman.net/sonic

Someone seriously needs to give this photog a raise. Excellent work!
**
http://cooterpunch.blogspot.com

#2 DITTO. I have to work damn hard to keep mine looking decent in my 20's let alone her age

Murphy Brown called, she wants her neck back.

EXCUSE ME, forget the joker face, but EVERYONE seems to have overlooked that she's going commando here.

Trust me, that wasn't overlooked.

first it's lohan with the granny panties.. now it's grandma locklear going commando. time to mail out more celebrity funderpants i guess haha. now where did i put my address book?

http://www.funderpants.com

I see London
I see France
I see Heathers gorgeous ass

@ #8 . I'm guessing pubes are out of the question for dirty heather. Is it me or does she look more like a mischievous gremlin than a cartoon villain

Oh mygods! The skirts is seesthrough! Where Spade? Where Spade!?

would you look at the GAP between those Legs.!
who cares about the kneck, you wont be looking at from the front anyway.

Is that the Man United logo tattooed on her ankle? Well I'll be danged! Classy chick.

I'm glad someone else noticed the chv tattoo

Now how is it possible that Heather's ass and thighs are looking about a billion times better than Lindsay's?

Holy crap it's Aunt Petunia, and I just saw her gigantic World War II parachute underpants!!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww.

wow if she doesn't look like Catherine O'Hara...

um, whatever Heather, Princess Di did this back in '81. go marry another 200 year old heavy metal has been

That is some grade A prime booty fillet.

Man that's a butterface. Best served from behind...

http://www.exposay.com/heather-locklear/1/c/914/

Shit! she does look like Cathrine O'Hara. Or maybe it's a deranged bunny rabbit. In anycase, time is a tickeeen for her!

I have to admit her face does look like Botox attacked her in the middle of the night, and in a panic she threw on the first available articles of clothing to escape.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

Stupid girls do this all the time. But I have to ask, how old is she???

"What? You can see my ass? stop taking pictures, give me that fil..... do you think Richie and Denise will see these pictures?"

is it just me or doesn't she look like the little girl from Poltergeist. i believe her name was heather too..hmmm

It could be worse.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

Heather Locklear, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears - all on the first page.

HIT THE FUCKING LIGHTS, BABY, BECAUSE IT'S BONER TIME!!!!!!

skanktastic!

http://www.celebslam.com

33-Heather O'Rourke. yep. she does look like her. creepy.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, time is really hard on women. She's still in great shap from the neck down. That waddle she's got going looks like my grandma Elsie's and trust me, that ain't pretty!

#5 -- I could not agree more. Anyone who thinks she's hot is obviously into grandma porn.

Not too bad for oldielocks, you must admit

Is that Heather or Joan Rivers?

http://www.spoonspam.com

hi ho! miss leatherskin locklear ain't lookin' her normal supertrashtastical self.. it's probably from banging david treespade.. that shit rubs off you know.. fugly goes into fugly exactly 3.66666 times.. it's a fact only the stingiest cpa's know about..

http://www.stingybitches.com/Stingy%20CPA.html

That facial expression is priceless.

What's up with the prison tattoo on her leg?

I'm glad to see papahotnuts.com has really taken off.

What exactly is the definition of COMING SOON?

hmmmm....not really all that interesting, unless you count the turkey waddle on her neck.

As with everything involving people who have "handlers" this is calculated. If this follows the Hollywood way, a pictorial in Playboy is up next. Just as soon as the ink is dry on the divorce. Heather, feeling her age, losing her man to a "friend" and younger woman, dating David Spade, will need to "reassert herself". And for those who make snide remarks about her age or comparisons to Heather O'Rourke and Catherine O'Hara, don't worry. The magicians at Playboy will make her look just like Sammy Jo. You'll open her spread and be transported back to 1984 all over again. The penny that takes you back to present day being her bald beav.

#46 Sweet! I'm going to get some Jergens now, and replacing the lock on my bathroom door...

Oh My god! Look at that Hagoriffic neck!!! She looks like she should be trapping little children inside her Gingerbread house before eating them.

On a side note, I saw the FULL Nichole Ritchie annorexia pics. You won't believe them!!! Go here and scan all the way down, you have to see the legs.
http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/exclusives/nicole_richie_can_dish_it_but_she_cant_take_it_20060820.php

Thats NOT Heather, thats Priscella Presley in a blonde wig. Same face at least.

After seeing that ass, I just KNOW she sucked off Aaron Spelling so she could get onto Dynasty, I just fucking KNOW it!!!!!!!!! Nobody could resist that little audition coming in the door...Little Sammy Ho...

Why do we have to look at Eva Longoria everytime we go to the mainpage? Doesn't Longoria sound like a VD?

Does the Superfish man get paid to write these stories? If I were his employer, I'd be paying him $.30/day for the crap coming out of here lately.

#51 - Longoria is a fucking little douchebag and she is getting her jollies by fucking Tony Parker on a regular basis, and she comes off as being very desperate to cling onto him, which of course means she will lose him soon...bitch...

Oh I thought she died.

Where is the front view with that oufit?

I would like to sniff her shitty little panties, as it looks like she left them in the car - they certainly don't look like they are on HER...

Her ass looks good - I would like to run my tongue along her tight little buttcrack...obviously she has been taking care of business where it counts and for an older chick she is keeping things tight - if she gets rid of that nasty old turkey neck, she will be fuckable without the paper bag...

#57...

I just realized I have probably offended every single breathing female human being on the planet...

Oh well...

Didn't she used to screw Tommy Lee???

@58 You have to remember you're at the Superficial, that was pretty tame there Ducky.

I'd hit it from the back. From the front...no. No I would not.

http://wampoon.com/

you think the skirt is see-thru....take a gander at the top layer of skin on her face....jesus, lady, lay off the RETINOL...she looks like a cum towel for 80's rock stars...oh, that's heather locklear?...nevermind...

Woooooooohhhhhhhh nelly, I was eating and now I threw up alittle in my mouth. It looks like she's got a giant maxi pad stuck on her ass. I love her turkey neck, that is soooo in this year.

I wonder if she like a bald cooch, or the natural look - I'd like to chew on that little piece of skin between her asshole and her cooch, it would be such a rush to plow the same snatch patch as Tommy Lee, Kiss, Led Zeppelin (well, the list would go on and on...)

I'd like to see her wear THAT getup to the supermarket...she would get boned in the frozen food section pretty fast...

What is going on with her elbows? Not to get hyper-critical, but it looks like she wiped Spades hiney with that thing.

not only is she going commando, but she's also wearing those stripper stockings. gotta give credit where credit's due.. she's looking pretty firm from where i'm sitting.

I would definitely hit it - I'd rip that flimsy, shitty little see-through piece of shit right off her, spread those cheeks and get chowing down - I wouldn't come up for air for an hour and she would scream in ectasy so loud she would shatter the windows in the car!!

those first two pics...that is what John Mark Karr would have looked like after his gender reassignment...it's those crazy eyes....

Did anyone else notice her turkey neck?????

I woul strip her down to just her panties and high heels and chase her around the pool and snort like a nasty, dirty pig...of course she would REALLY want to get caught, and when I catch her I would go down on her with my gnarly untrimmed beard and make her squeal like a wolverine in heat...

see her neck? that's the same type of skin you'll see at the bottom of her droopy ass. but there seem to be plenty of fans in the fuckme-crazyeyes-skeletor club.

She looked GORGEOUS at the Emmy's. Eat your heart out fucking Richie Sambora. And that fake bitch Denise Richards.

In the picture in the middle, why has nobody asked why one of her buff German bodyguards dressed in black, is giving her other buff German bodyguard dressed in black a hand job?

You are all mean. Jessica Tandy looks great!

I've never thought that Locklear was hot, and still don't. However, seeing her with that tight little package plus the fact she is bald as a 12 year old just makes me want to do her just that much more.