August 17, 2006
Haley Joel Osment is in so much trouble
Haley Joel Osment was charged with four criminal counts today including: driving while having a blood alcohol content of .08 percent or higher with the special allegation of having a blood alcohol content of .15 percent or higher (especially bad!), and possession of marijuana while driving. Osment's blood-alcohol content was 0.16 (double the legal limit) and the charges come from an incident last month when he crashed his 1995 Saturn, flipping it and breaking a rib.
I don't think anybody saw this coming. At least Mel Gibson has a history of drinking, but the only thing Haley Joel Osment is known for is looking cute and hitting puberty. If convicted he faces up to six months in county jail, but considering it's Haley Joel Osment the judge will probably just ask him to say "I see dead people" and then let him go for being a national treasure.
NOTE: Speaking of which, Mel Gibson pleaded no contest to his DUI charges today and faces no jail time but has to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Which should be good, because nobody is more anonymous than Mel Gibson. Except maybe Mr. T. Or the Kool-Aid man.
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Comments
1. Posted by vainandlovingit on August 17, 2006 6:00 PM
so dont care about the dude, but first ha!
2. Posted by Doc on August 17, 2006 6:02 PM
so close!!!
3. Posted by violinguy on August 17, 2006 6:05 PM
why the fvck is this millionaire driving a 95 Saturn?
4. Posted by Tits_McGhee on August 17, 2006 6:12 PM
If I were a millionaire and driving a 1995 Saturn, I would be getting high and drunk too.
I would rather be in jail an alcoholic than be Paris Hilton with herpes. Hey, it could be worse, Haley Joel.
5. Posted by Raebees on August 17, 2006 6:15 PM
5th!
6. Posted by sharkbite on August 17, 2006 6:16 PM
It's so weird seeing him grow up. Poor kid, flipped in a 1995 Saturn.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
7. Posted by Elikapeka on August 17, 2006 6:19 PM
He hit puberty?
I wonder if his Mommy is going to take away his $2.75 allowance this week for his oopsie. Definitely no dessert tonight, that's for sure.
8. Posted by laury on August 17, 2006 6:26 PM
Now this is just sad. Why is it that no child star (especially talented ones) is able to grow up to be a sensible, responsible person who takes their art seriously? Osment had a bright future ahead of him as an actor, but he had to screw that up by doing what all former child stars do: try to prove everyone that he's a man by getting drunck and acting stupid. That's the problem with these kids: they just don't know what a real childhood is, and they let fame get to their heads way too fast because they don't know any better. Damn you Tinseltown.
9. Posted by whitney's sex toys on August 17, 2006 6:28 PM
the only tragedy is that his face came out of it the same
10. Posted by CelebSlam.com on August 17, 2006 6:28 PM
That kid had one of the sweetest 1995 Saturns I'd seen in a LONG time.
http://www.celebslam.com
11. Posted by Ravenjade on August 17, 2006 6:38 PM
And the Kingdom Hearts fans weep.
12. Posted by Celetina on August 17, 2006 6:50 PM
What, he couldn't wait till his 30s to become a has-been star who retired in shame? He and Lindsey Lohan ought together and see if they can burn out before they actually hit 21.
13. Posted by PunjabPete on August 17, 2006 7:17 PM
Actually I think he was driving this car because he actually is not a pretentious Hollywodd asswipe. He is fairly regular... Even with the drinking and driving. Pretty standard for that age group. Stupid but standard...
"I see community service..."
14. Posted by Tania on August 17, 2006 7:22 PM
That kid sure grew up into an ugly turd, didn't he?
15. Posted by Libraesque on August 17, 2006 7:23 PM
he looks like a hard core alcoholic already. How much booze you gotta drink to have a big blown up red nose like that and pink cheeks, looks like he just chugged a fifth
16. Posted by PunjabPete on August 17, 2006 7:25 PM
Rent... Second Hand Lions...
17. Posted by pirhan on August 17, 2006 7:31 PM
How can Mel be anonymous if we all know he's going?
18. Posted by endometriorama on August 17, 2006 7:39 PM
i need to smoke with this kid.
19. Posted by mercedes215 on August 17, 2006 7:46 PM
oh god..i cant imagine how butt ugly he looks in his mug shot
20. Posted by stingybtchsuzy on August 17, 2006 8:35 PM
Unfortunately, his large teeth walked away from the wreck unscathed.
21. Posted by knowhere on August 17, 2006 8:39 PM
props! he could have had it all. and instead crapped it all out. fantastic.
22. Posted by yolandagc on August 17, 2006 9:37 PM
Well, I guess anal rape should be one of his fears...
http://www.vidilife.com/photo_781555_1_1_Haley_Joel_Osment_DUI_woes.htm
23. Posted by nc72 on August 17, 2006 10:10 PM
Bet he ain't golfin now!
http://www.exposay.com/haley-joel-osment-8th-annual-michael-douglas-and-friends-golf-tournament/p/3559/45/
Or smilin hah!
http://www.exposay.com/haley-joel-osment-8th-annual-michael-douglas-and-friends-golf-tournament/p/3559/45/
24. Posted by BoognishRising on August 17, 2006 10:27 PM
I see drunk people.
25. Posted by RichPort on August 17, 2006 10:31 PM
Much like danYELL's joke book, I got nothing here.... completely dry. I mean, give me a .50% BAC and an autographed poster of Beyonce, then maybe...
26. Posted by TriStateSucka on August 17, 2006 11:03 PM
Him and Peyton Manning both have that downs syndrome look going...maybe that's the hot new trend?
27. Posted by LL on August 18, 2006 12:55 AM
You know, if you're gonna get busted at two times over the limit AND in possession, you may as well do it right. Drunk driving? So 20th century. Osment should have flipped Paris Hilton's $400,000 car with a dead hooker in the trunk and a couple of underage Japanese girls in the back seat. After running over a nun or a basket of puppies. He'd crawl out of the smoking wreckage with an Uzi in one hand and a grenade in the other.
Then I'd have some respect for him.
28. Posted by ChickenScratch on August 18, 2006 2:01 AM
His eyes are WAY TOO teenie for that nose.
If I was a cute star when I was a kid, then I looked like this as an adult, I would kill myself.
29. Posted by ChickenScratch on August 18, 2006 2:02 AM
Is it just me or does he remind anyone else of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes?
30. Posted by alaskanchicsickle on August 18, 2006 2:36 AM
Maybe Mel can be his sponser.
@14 aaaw, he's not so bad.
31. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on August 18, 2006 2:42 AM
If he is not careful, he really will see dead people.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
32. Posted by Jan E-J on August 18, 2006 2:51 AM
Oh dear. He just turned out sort of funny-looking, didn't he? Not so good. Poor thing. Yikes.
33. Posted by sometimesboy on August 18, 2006 7:52 AM
and yet another hollywood cover-up...the media isn't even reporting how belligerant poor haley joel was before and during the arrest ...he was ranting like a madman...
"muppets are the cause of the all the wars in the world today...officer...you're not a damn dirty muppet are you?"
he also reportedly called a female officer 'miss piggy titts'...
WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE!!!
34. Posted by sometimesboy on August 18, 2006 7:55 AM
and oh yeah....this kid really needs to update his wheels...now that the saturn is totalled, maybe he'll get something more appropriate for a star of his stature...like a KIA...
35. Posted by ChikaDeeDeeDee on August 18, 2006 8:03 AM
@27: Sounds like a Schwarzenegger flick - wait, no - Californian Poobahs in general.
36. Posted by jrzmommy on August 18, 2006 9:17 AM
Dude was f u c k e d u p.
I just don't get why they always gotta try to drive. They're rich! Hire a sedan if you're planning to get your la vida loca on. Call a cab if you get too wasted and weren't planning on it. Something. Get a room and keep partying.
8--Jodie Foster and Ron Howard would strongly disagree that "no child star" can grow up to be a sensible smart person who takes their art seriously.
33-that shit's funny.
37. Posted by SuperShallow on August 18, 2006 9:22 AM
Second Hand Lions is a good movie but not becuase of him, its those old fart actors that made it a classic to me. Honestly, I just feel bad for the kid, I don't think he drives a 95 Saturn because he's regular, then he'd just be driving a regular not fancy Bens or BMW. No, he drives that becuase his parents might have squandered a good portion of his earnings buying houses and stuff....
I have nothing mean to say... I just feel bad for him. (Take note this is the last time I'm nice)
38. Posted by SuperShallow on August 18, 2006 9:24 AM
#36 right on...
39. Posted by Adult Underoos on August 18, 2006 10:09 AM
is that an after-photo? his face got beat with the fugly stick!
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41. Posted by cole007 on August 18, 2006 10:38 AM
Man, he IS in trouble. I can't believe he wrecked a SATURN! That was the last of his "drunk" cars. You know, when I go out drunk driving, I also take my pinto, or my 85 model honda. It's better than wrecking your real car.
He really needs work. That's why he got drunk and flipped the car he bought when he was six. Hey, did his parents steal all his money, too?
42. Posted by Toonlite on August 18, 2006 10:55 AM
Our little Haley Joel grew up so fast??...it just seems like yesterday that he was in that dead movie....well okay I watched for the first time yesterday....
43. Posted by 86 on August 18, 2006 10:55 AM
Haley Joel Osment is cool. He has years and years of this kind of debauchery if he ever expects to live down being named "Haley".
44. Posted by nightshirt on August 18, 2006 3:56 PM
he has no eyelids. i finally figured out why he always looks wierd. must have asian parents
45. Posted by nightshirt on August 18, 2006 3:58 PM
he has no eyelids. i finally figured out why he always looks wierd. must have asian parents
46. Posted by nightshirt on August 18, 2006 4:01 PM
he has no eyelids. i finally figured out why he always looks wierd.
47. Posted by ValeWolf on August 18, 2006 5:23 PM
All I can do is remember the scene in Scary Movie when the burn outs are acting out in their basement the scene in The Sixth Sense where Haley says "I see dead people" and getting high...
You think he ever did that?
48. Posted by LEMONSQZ on August 18, 2006 6:13 PM
He is about the most un-fuckable men I have ever seen with my green eyes. YUCK!
49. Posted by LEMONSQZ on August 18, 2006 6:13 PM
He is about the most un-fluffable men I have ever seen with my green eyes. YUCK!
50. Posted by KelKel on August 21, 2006 11:36 PM
No wonder he is fucked up,he drives a 95 Saturn
51. Posted by Taylor on August 22, 2006 12:02 AM
He looks like the outcome of a goat and polar bear after mating...while they were on crack.
52. Posted by Taylor on August 22, 2006 12:04 AM
Don't tell me the car he was driving was similar like (if not-exactly) this one:
http://www.autoseekandsell.com/userimages/95%20Saturn%20for%20Sale.JPG