Heeey!

What up?

no shit. 'firecrotch' is so last week.

http://www.celebslam.com

so sobriety lasted......well, how long does it take to cross a threshold of a doorway? .0000001 of a second? when i look at this guy one word comes to mind and it's SLOTH.

I can't wait for the greatest hits album.

I haven't heard anything about Lindsay Lohan these days. I wonder what she's up to. I used to hang out with her all the time, and by that I mean playing with dolls in my parents' basement before crying myself to sleep.

Why is it that idiotic dickwads like this are always the heirs to family oil fortunes?

Who the crap is Brandon Davis?...and why is he such a fuck-face?

Seriously, can someone tell me please?!

Yeah, he's rich enough he should be able to hire somebody to write better material for him. Perhaps an ad in Variety, or skywriting.

Although I'll give him credit, He probably knew that Paris Hilton's party would feature her CD, so he knew sobriety would not be an advantage.

http://www.reidaboutit.com

what a dumbass. him talking smack about lindsay lohan is like a bum telling someone to dress better and not smell.

This guy's more obsessed with Lohan than both the Superfish guy and the bikini shop combined! I wouldn't exactly be shouting from the mountaintops about hanging out with Porous "the human petri dish" Hilton either. He's even got the alcohol sweats going... gotta love it. Moron.

Who?

I think he might be heir to the Crisco fortune.

He's probably in the tertiary stage of syphilis and is suffering from mind rot. Linds, aka "Firecrotch", is probably the one that infected him, hence his demented infatuation with one whose cootch apparently smells like shit.

@ #13

Thanks jane's eyre!

The douche is part of one of the LOOOONGEST SF threads ever:

http://www.thesuperficial.com/2006/05/17/paris_hilton_and_brandon_davis.html

Am I really supposed to care what this guy says or does? Really? I'd never even heard of him before he insulted Lindsay Lohan. Does he do anything useful?

"OK, Brandon, you greasy, doughy dickhead. You got attention. Now please go kill yourself and make this world a better place. Take Slimy Storch and Herpes Hilton with you..please...!!"

his got that same fucked up chin like Jay Leno, if it had a hole he could probably shit from it.

Let's not skip over the fact that this man is heinously ugly. I imagine he'll be 57 years old hanging out at some raunchy dive bar screaming "FIRECROTCH" at the top of his lungs and then start laughing maniacly. Then he'll stumble to his bed made of money underneath a bridge somewhere, because it doesnt matter if he's rich, he's still a fucking troll.

why is it that in every picture of this moron that surfaces he seems to be sweaty and greasy and butt face ugly?

geesh, you would think he could afford to get some oil absorbers and a shower...wait, isn't he heir to an oil forturne? or is that paris latis? or the guy on the corner that paris screwed last night.

man i'm SO CONFUSED!

why does he always look like he just got out of a pool or some shit?

God, I have to do everything:

Brandon Davis grew up best friends and in love with Paris Hilton. He was dating Mischa Barton for a year or two a year or two ago, then broke up.

A few weeks ago, he ran around on the streets of Beverly Hills with Paris Hilton, drunk and going on and on and on and on about LL, including calling her a firecrotch repeatedly. He apologized for his behavior and went into rehab because of it and then had a "team firecrotch" t-shirt made up, which he wore, like , on his way into rehab. THen he gets out and made a song about it.

He is just a fat coward who would shrivel up into a jiggling ball of jelly, crying like a little girl on the sidewalk if he ran into LL in a dark alley. Hell, so would I.

He looks like the cook at "El chapultapec", the Mexican dive down the street from my house, after a 15 hour shift cooking chorizo.

Can't believe this moron gets any press.

Someone needs to take his money away and kick him to the curb.

It looks like somebody punched him in the mouth and his teeth sunk back into his head!

http://www.betterthanyou.org/pictures/displayimage.php?pid=1610&fullsize=1

http://www.betterthanyou.org/pictures/displayimage.php?pid=1612&fullsize=1

Sweaty alcoholic piece of shit!

"He looks like the cook at "El chapultapec", the Mexican dive down the street from my house, after a 15 hour shift cooking chorizo."

Holy crap, that was priceless!!!

sounds like you just cant beat the music
it's all flowing in one didrecion
no matter what any one says
flowing downhill
no problem
flow with it

[this copy...etc]

its like a loop inside his brain, he cant help it, ok next...

stortch is just an ignorant f*ck

who does that leave?

oh hello paris

[smile back]

yes i do have the advantage
that must be a bit unusual
for you
to say the least

lol bitch :)

I think we're missing the whole point of this article. "Twiddled knobs" on PARIS HILTON'S album.

Brandon Davis. Wow, a twenty-something with man-tits.
One more reason to keep the estate tax.
As Rick James said, "They should've never given you people money!"

Ugh! He always looks wet and greasy all at the same time.

@23 And how do you know what the cook looks like? Hmm.

HI, JANEY! looks like you're finally up and running!
: )

FAT SWEATY ELVIS

#31

Uhhh...cause I eat there?
Stooopid.

ok let me just lay some rules
no more
ok
rather
lets
talk
.
.
.

I wonder why the guy is always sweaty on his ugly face, I mean: that's gross.

Brandon Davis is a chump.

That bit about how he looks like the cook at a Mexican restaurant at the end of the shift was priceless.

Ugh, don't know what to think. On one post, you have crack whore mommy and daughter together, looking like they just finished servicing the entire city of Los Angeles, on another, a walking advertisement for 90% income tax rate on the wealthy (or two, if you count Paris). Not sure who I should feel more contempt for, Lindsay or the greaseball and his former girlfriend.

OK, I guess greaseball and Paris win by a nose. But if Lindsay starts whining about how hard it is to show up to a job you get paid millions of dollars to do, I just might have to change my mind. Consider yourself warned, Lohan.

@34

Uhh.."Mexican dive" doesn't sound like that great of a place to eat to me. My bad. Just pray you don't get food poisoning from the chorizo. Believe me, it's not fun.

Hi Bunny!

This is that type of guy who tells one good joke and everyone laughs, then he runs it into the ground by telling it at every party... And seriously, if he thinks he invented firecrotch, he's going to be really sad when he realizes that a 4th grader invented it like 100 years ago.

he bought crack from me yeserday

Hi, jane.

#25 Eew! he's doing that tight-lipped Bo Derek smile to try to make himself look like he has cheekbones!
Plus he's sweating through his sunglasses. I didn't know that was possible. He totally looks like early fat coked-up elvis.

That's right, I have nothing better to do. I was wondering how much money this tool has and looked it up. His grandpa was some old rich oil guy (now deceased). Per Forbes (from 2001):

With a fortune estimated at $4.5 billion, the richest oil man on the list, and No. 82 overall, is Marvin H. Davis. The former wildcatter made a fortune drilling for oil in the Rocky Mountains and then used his fortune to invest in real estate, the film industry and professional football. Several years ago his privately-held company Davis Petroleum Corporation began investing in natural gas exploration in his old Rocky Mountain stomping grounds, as well as to the south along the Texas Gulf Coast.

Another reason to try and conserve energy, if it keeps one more nickel from going in Brandon Davis's bank account. Maybe his accountant will embezzle all his money and he'll have to get a real job. We can only hope.

firecrotch!!!!! heehaw its back omg its back nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

dip dip

ya know what...
if i had a dollar spare
i'd send it to afica

cos in atd=firica

children and peopole
are dying
every day

every hour

every minute

and yes
you may not want to think about it, but...

every second

did you eat every m0orsel ?

HOW DID WE COME TO THIS ?

BRENDON WHO ?

....Mmmmmmm...and yers from now this fucker will be sitting in the Bilderberg Group ruling the world...writing the Firecrotch song for us poor folks.

well..okay what is Bilderberg?...lookit up

http://www.wanttoknow.info/051115secretsocietiesbilderberg

I agree, firecrotch is getting old... I mean we discontinued the panties that said "I have a firecrotch" last week and the Firecrotch Sex Toy two weeks ago! Gosh!

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

This dude sweats more than the average Greek, with all that money he could at least hire someone to follow him around and wipe his brow.

Lindsay should make a tape of herself calling him "Sweatstache". mmm, sexy.

Has there ever been a pic of this guy where he didn't look fat and sweaty?

Heh. It says "twiddled knobs" up there.

Scott Storch is a total reality tv show douchebag.
The guy tries so hard to look and act like a black guy it's pathetic. He's "twiddling knobs" with every no talent, attention seeking tramp that's trying to make a name for herself in the music business. Brooke Hogan, Paris Hilton and those 5 screeching cats P. Diddy picked out for his band. His beats are super lame.
He must be hard up for cash.

Heh. It says "twiddled knobs" up there.

Scott Storch is a total reality tv show douchebag.
The guy tries so hard to look and act like a black guy it's pathetic. He's "twiddling knobs" with every no talent, attention seeking tramp that's trying to make a name for herself in the music business. Brooke Hogan, Paris Hilton and those 5 screeching cats P. Diddy picked out for his band. His beats are super lame.
He must be hard up for cash.

damn it, sorry about the 2nd post. Maybe douchebag-ness is as contagious as Paris' crusty cooch.

Why does he look like he has spunk all over his mouth in this picture?

--

he has a pretty little girl mouth....he really shouldn't make that face very often

He looks like an uglier version of Noel Gallagher from Oasis. Creepy.

Who now?

he's too shiny. i don't like him. :[

This guy is a complete waste of space. But he hates the firecrotch. And for that I love him dearly.

#39
A little chorizo poinsoning never hurt anyone! C'mon, live a little.

Ladies:

Imagine having this pig on top of you, gruntin' and pushin' and having nose sweat trickle off of his face, hitting you on the corner of her mouth? The the oil and grease on his hair and face alone is enough to deep fry some fatbacks and pigs feet for an entire Jackson family reunion.

He always looks like he'd smell like stinky cheese.

He looks like Elvis.

The old, sweaty Elvis in a sequined pantsuit, not the hot, young Elvis in black leather.

Either way, chances are this guy is going to wind up dead on a toilet pretty soon.

Tell me again why this guy is in the tabloids? He is a nobody, please stop showing his face or displaying his name. He needs to go away.

He should use botox to inflate his brain instead of his disgusting lips.

Who is this faggot that keeps showing up at these events?

He looks more plastic than Paris.

I think we should just start calling him Oily_Sweaty_Balls.

Oh gawd.

I wanted to wax the kitchen floor tonight, but sadly I was out of Future.

Coulda put this greasy dude on his head and shined up the whole damn place, top to bottom.

Barf.

Isn't that guy a retard?

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http://www.spankcheeks.blogspot.com/

You'll see a "PENELOPE CRUZ NIP SLIP".

You'll read the "Top Ten Reasons Owen Wilson Is Better Than Chris Robinson" taken exculsively from Kate's private dairy!

You'll marvel at the tow-headed man/boy "Who
SEES DRUNK PEOPLE!!!

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What the hell... ... Leave a comment

1) 'He looks like the cook at "El chapultapec", the Mexican dive down the street from my house, after a 15 hour shift cooking chorizo.' BRILLIANT - whoever wrote that is a comic genius. 2)This turd will end up dead somewhere, booze overdose. Maybe he'll drown in his own vomit, or fall overboard his own yacht and they'll find an arm at sea. We can only hope. 3) In defense of Lohan, who will also die of an overdose, she will at least do something with her life, unlike this guy whose money will all go to his maid or something...

he could be so hot in an Elvis kinds way if he wasn't so wet all the time. You think with all that money he would purchase a towel! And being famous for coming up with 'firecrotch' is not an accomplishment, if it really is a song, then maybe that might be.

He's like the Robert Downey, Jr. character from "Less Than Zero". He's just a coke line away from suckin' that dick -- if he hasn't already.

Who's gonna buy the farm first? Will it be Brandon Davis from an OD, Hohan from a suicide or Nicole Richie from anorexia?

OMG @62.

What a picture you've drawn. Now I can never look at that doughy greaseball without conjuring up that image again.
*shudder*

And good God, that was the best Mischa Barton could do at the time???

Way to go one trick pony! Whatta Fat bloated loser of a socialite drunk,go back to the betty ford clinic

This fat greaseball needs to get bitch slapped by L.Lohan's dad!!! This guy is a loser. This guy needs to get checked!!! Man-up fool!!! Didnt your etiquette intructor or your Dad teach you not to talk about women. And what kind of loser brags about daddys money. Get you own money fool! Wilmer Valderrama should kick his ass for making that Mariachi comment! But i know for a fact the that this greasy fat botoxed-up bozo would run and hide cuz he obviously has no balls!!! Cuz theyre on Paris' chin!!!!