August 15, 2006
Andy Dick does stuff at the Comedy Central roast of William Shatner
Andy Dick did his usual thing at the Comedy Central roast of William Shatner Sunday night, licking the faces of Farrah Fawcett, Carrie Fisher, and Patton Oswalt, and then harrassing reporter Mandy Stadtmiller backstage at the afterparty by peeing in front of her and biting her hand.
A drunken Dick groped an appalled Stadtmiller, tried to kiss her, proclaimed his love for her and finally bit her hand. "Baby please," Dick repeated six times. "Put in something nice," he said after urinating in front of the horrified journalist in his dressing room and offering her cocaine. "They're so mean," he ranted. "I'm not weird. Maybe I'm a little weird, they make me out to be a monster, I'm not a monster . . . I just want to have fun, baby please." Dick, who performed his roast routine dressed in full Trekkie regalia, said that he downed two vodka cranberries to give him the courage to talk to fellow roaster Fawcett - of whom he said, "I'm going to [bleep] the [bleep] out of. Put that in Page 6, 7 and 8, that's how big my [bleep] is." Explaining to Stadtmiller why he urinated in front of her, Dick said, "You know why I don't close the door? Because then people think I'm doing drugs, and I want you to know I'm just normal." And why did Dick go on his licking spree? "I was doing it because I was desperately trying to tie the show together like a fisherman with tuna, and you're a little piece of fresh tuna," Dick told Stadtmiller. "But thanks for asking. Do you want me to lick your face now?" No, Stadtmiller said - "but he can pay for that tetanus shot," she told us. Dick's camp had no comment.
You can never tell if Andy Dick is drunk or high or just being an ass. How does this guy get away with groping women's breasts and licking people's faces? I do it at clubs and I get punched in the throat and thrown out the back. Andy Dick does it and he gets a hearty chuckle and an invitation back.
UPDATE: Check out the video of Andy Dick licking people after the jump. Thanks to the ruggedly handsome Scott for the tip.
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Comments
1. Posted by RenoScarab on August 15, 2006 2:16 PM
What a....Dick? What has he done lately besides be annoying?
kinkajou
2. Posted by RenoScarab on August 15, 2006 2:17 PM
What is worse, what HE would catch from Pam Anderson, or what SHE would catch from him?
http://angry-ferret.blogspot.com/
3. Posted by wordnugz on August 15, 2006 2:17 PM
my hero
4. Posted by RichPort on August 15, 2006 2:19 PM
I licked Pamela Anderson's face once... but my tongue kept getting stuck to the centerfold page.
5. Posted by Chaumbrai on August 15, 2006 2:20 PM
I thought it was Sulu's job to lick A Dick?
6. Posted by I Will Eat Your Children on August 15, 2006 2:22 PM
Why are people who publicly urinate always persecuted? If Andy Dick wants to take a whizz in front of a reporter then I say more power to him.
God Bless America!
7. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on August 15, 2006 2:26 PM
Anybody seen the vid of this guy dropping trou and fingerbanging his own asshole on Hollywood Blvd? Other than Newsradio, has this guy done anything but be a fey Jerry Lewis?
8. Posted by Cleosneedle on August 15, 2006 2:27 PM
Ok when making the guest list..who the hell thought that Andy Dick must be there? What has he done is the past 5 years?
9. Posted by Tanor on August 15, 2006 2:32 PM
Can you imagine the make-up/cosmetic chemicals in his body from licking these women's faces?
http://www.BadBreakups.net
10. Posted by Rimmer on August 15, 2006 2:36 PM
Licking a Charlie's Angel and Princess Leia ... Marcia Cross must be dying to get on that show.
11. Posted by Sarah-Jean on August 15, 2006 2:40 PM
Andy Dick is a dick. He's isn't funny... and he's arrogant and a chauvinistic pig.
12. Posted by MultipleSpaceys on August 15, 2006 2:41 PM
Dick licked so many perservatives from Faucett's face - he'll never decompose.
13. Posted by jrzmommy on August 15, 2006 2:50 PM
How can an overly-annoying 98-pound weakling be so popular? He's gotta have the good drugs. That's all there is to it. Because I don't know of anyone in their right mind who would wanna fuck this guy. It's gotta be the drugs.
14. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on August 15, 2006 2:52 PM
How do you get away with it? By being a big fat homo. Please see exhibit A: Isaac Mizrahi grabbing the mammaries of Scarlett Johansen at the Oscars.
Homo = free titty feel.
15. Posted by RichPort on August 15, 2006 3:11 PM
#14 - Thank goodness that doesn't work the other way around. I've copped so many free titty feels that I should be dressing Chiquita Banana by now...
16. Posted by ValeWolf on August 15, 2006 3:11 PM
This is the only thing he can do to not be forgotten. I mean what was the last thing he did professionally other than sell cocaine?
17. Posted by Benny on August 15, 2006 3:31 PM
Andy Dick should be executed with Saddam and that chinese fag from star trek.
18. Posted by CelebSlam.com on August 15, 2006 3:42 PM
That's the closest his tongue has been to a woman in years.
http://www.celebslam.com
19. Posted by Queen LaQueefah on August 15, 2006 3:56 PM
I saw Andy Dick at an Erykah Badu show in Austin (I know, weird) and he was arrested like 10 minutes later for being belligerent. Ha!
20. Posted by Spindoc on August 15, 2006 3:56 PM
I can't believe people still invite this douchebag to events.
21. Posted by ImSuicidal on August 15, 2006 4:07 PM
Names, I want names of the people responsible for this!!!
22. Posted by GG 4.33 on August 15, 2006 4:15 PM
Andy seems to be auditioning to be the next Courtney Love. She's reportedly "clean", so someone needs to step in and be an obnoxious ass. They'd make a great couple, eh?
23. Posted by GG 4.33 on August 15, 2006 4:17 PM
He was on Minor Accomplishments, an IFC series with Laura Kightlinger. He had a cameo as himself, and he looked terrible (even with the makeup to hide the drug use)...
24. Posted by PunjabPete on August 15, 2006 4:17 PM
Offered the reporter Cocaine?
Someone please introduce Andy to Lohan. That should hasten her fall from grace...
25. Posted by discerningcritic on August 15, 2006 4:48 PM
I love how he's afraid people will find out he's doing drugs...you know what Andy? Too late, we already know. Remember when you got busted last year for lighting a joint? We do! And here's a word of advice, when you want other people to think you're "normal," don't act like yourself.
http://freshnotes.com/StaticSite/Subjects/10243/index1.html
article #17
26. Posted by nc72 on August 15, 2006 4:51 PM
This is Andy DICK
http://www.exposay.com/andy-dick-nacho-libre-premiere-in-los-angeles/p/3380/17/
27. Posted by biatcho on August 15, 2006 4:54 PM
And after licking Farrah Fawcett's face I bet he fell clumsily over a chair, got back up and then fell again, only to have an anvil fall on his head. It's hilarious & priceless all at the same time. And never gets old.
28. Posted by joslibrarian on August 15, 2006 4:55 PM
Andy Dick is my hero. God, I wish my balls were that big.
29. Posted by Nedra93 on August 15, 2006 5:08 PM
@26 I would hit it with that chick he was with in that picture.
He kicked ASS in News Radio... then again he was one of the more heterosexual and sane characters on that show.
30. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on August 15, 2006 7:03 PM
Yes, licking people like this is not foreplay Andy, you might want to check out our web site for some better sex tips so you know when it is appropriate and when it isn't.
The video was quite wild too, I am not sure I ever thought of William Shatner as a rich gooey devil's food cake.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
31. Posted by bogdana on August 15, 2006 7:54 PM
I wonder if Patton tasted like bacon grease.
32. Posted by knowhere on August 15, 2006 8:20 PM
he was an emergency medical hologram on a 4th season episode of voyager. so he's cool with me. and i'm obviously cool.
33. Posted by Sir Psycho Sexy on August 15, 2006 9:21 PM
13. "... I don't know of anyone in their right mind who would wanna fuck this guy ..."
Andy Dick lived with his ex-wife, their son, his ex-wife's boyfriend, his girlfriend, their two kids, and an occasional male or female lover, in the same house. How?
Andy is rumored to have an enormous schlong.
34. Posted by jrzmommy on August 16, 2006 9:41 AM
33-- I know, I remember that. But please note I said, "their RIGHT mind", these people obviously are chronically fucked in the head, proof positive if they slept with Andy Dick. :)
35. Posted by Jules on August 16, 2006 11:12 AM
.....ew.
36. Posted by stevie is a girls name on August 16, 2006 11:24 AM
If he licked my face or groped my boobs I would beat the drunken piss out of him and have him arrested. People shouldnt be allowed to do stupid shit like this and get away with it.
37. Posted by jrzmommy on August 16, 2006 11:33 AM
36--Not all people should be arrested for this stuff...it depends on who it is and what they look like -- Personally, Fabio Cannavaro has carte blanche to grope me, lick me, whip me, cover me in hot fudge, etc., etc., drunk or sober, in public or private. Andy Dick would get his eyes scratched out of their sockets if he ever approached me -- even if he was a blind quadriplegic in a wheel chair hooked up to a ventilator. That's just the way the world works.
38. Posted by mdavis2678 on August 16, 2006 5:45 PM
Andy's phone number! Go say hello
39. Posted by KelKel on August 22, 2006 12:02 AM
That video...William shatner's face was priceless.He was prolly wondering if he was at a roast or gay free for all