Jul 17 2006Tara Reid hits Miami in her bikini
It just wouldn't be summer without Tara Reid getting drunk at a Miami beach resort in Florida. She still has her fake boobs, but it looks like her body is turning into paste. Maybe if she ever finds work again she can look into that. Obviously not acting, but maybe waiting tables at Hooters. Although they might frown upon her finishing customers' drinks and occasionally peeing in the corner because the bathroom was filled with people running around cooking food.
More of Tara Reid drinking in her bikini after the jump.
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Reader Comments
1. Fugurself - July 17, 2006 3:58 PM
Just bend over and take it like the dirty bitch you are.
2. roflynsolo - July 17, 2006 3:59 PM
Who is she and what movies has she been in?
3. Raindog66 - July 17, 2006 4:00 PM
Wow. It's Lindsay Lohan in 2 years.
4. chelleann66 - July 17, 2006 4:00 PM
The rolls on her stomach warm the cockles of my heart. Hey, that reminds me... TCLTC.
5. Fugurself - July 17, 2006 4:00 PM
As soon as she gets those titties in my mouth I'll stop picking on her.
6. Silent Freek - July 17, 2006 4:01 PM
I've never thought she was even remotely attractive.
7. Fugurself - July 17, 2006 4:02 PM
I have never gotten a chance to feel a set of "fake" boobs. Any of you women out there with boob jobs willing to let me see if I can tell the difference? :)
8. SpecialAgentWind - July 17, 2006 4:03 PM
The 4th pic - her tits look like my ball sack. Except white.
9. PapaHotNuts - July 17, 2006 4:03 PM
I think she is drinking a glass of Slim-Slow in that last picture.
10. chelleann66 - July 17, 2006 4:03 PM
Tara aside, there are some interesting things going on in those photos. Dig the expression of the guy in the blue bathing suit sticking out his tongue (in the last set of 4 photos), and what's the deal with the Barbie Doll poking its head into the right side of the photo just under his arm? The next photo of this guy shows him either picking lint out of his belly button or jamming something (Barbie doll?) down the front of his shorts...
11. Carmello1966 - July 17, 2006 4:05 PM
A beached whale, plain and simple.
12. pop - July 17, 2006 4:07 PM
i think i'd rather have sex with the bearded guy then tara...because guys with beards are creepy molesters, so that means he's got some wicked skills in the bedroom....
http://www.popculturepundit.blogspot.com/
13. Fugurself - July 17, 2006 4:08 PM
Cellulite is the new black.
#11 I thought your name was Cameltoe 1966.
14. jane's eyre - July 17, 2006 4:14 PM
My grandma called, she wants her ass back.
15. Raindog66 - July 17, 2006 4:16 PM
I think you're on to something with that barbie doll #10.
And I think we all know the cold, dark place that poor toy ended up later that night...
16. Stef - July 17, 2006 4:16 PM
She's melting. You should never put cheap plastic things in the sun.
17. cruzin333 - July 17, 2006 4:19 PM
I don't know who has a nastier ass...Tara or Eva Longoria.
18. clarknova - July 17, 2006 4:20 PM
So this is what the Superficial means when he talks about bags of feces.
19. PaisleyMoon - July 17, 2006 4:21 PM
LOL @ 14..and #10 that's some good spotting The IS a Barbie doll under that dudes armpit..wtfingf?
Tara has the worst plastic surgeons in the world. They fucked up her boobs, her nips, and her stomach. But, who realy cares because she's just another worthless drunken party whore and how the hell do you make a living by being a worthless drunken party whore? Someone please tell me and I'll learn to drink.
20. BarbadoSlim - July 17, 2006 4:21 PM
Oh my god, eeewww.
She looks like someone featured on Real Stories of the Highway Patrol, circa 1998.
Somewhere in rural Kentucky...
21. Italian Stallion - July 17, 2006 4:41 PM
Someone needs to just sew her asshole shut and keep feeding her, and feeding her, WU-TANG style.................
22. dr. kenneth noisewater - July 17, 2006 4:41 PM
It looks as if it's too late and she has slipped into full blown alcoholism...there is really no other excuse for drinking her own piss.
23. pinky_nip - July 17, 2006 4:43 PM
Her ass looks great.
That is, if you dig cottage cheese in a cheese cloth bag.
24. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh - July 17, 2006 4:49 PM
I've seen better looking girls hanging out outside the liquor store on a Sunday asking people for money to buy brillo pads for their crack. Better dressed-ones, too.
25. polypam - July 17, 2006 4:53 PM
Isn't cottage cheese supposed to be GOOD for your diet?
Shit, this girl needs to fire her plastic surgeon.
26. pinky_nip - July 17, 2006 4:55 PM
You've really got problems when your "mound" looks fat. Like she's wearing a cup.
27. BarbadoSlim - July 17, 2006 5:01 PM
The day they find her decomposing corpse in some cheap motel along the New Jersey Turnpike, they'll find her wearing that stupid, stinky bandana, a pair flip-flops and a pack of Kool Menthol 100's by her side.
Dana Plato style.
28. kickservebt - July 17, 2006 5:03 PM
If she had any muscle tone at all she'd have a decent body. But she's just a blob of fat...diet diet diet...and no exercise. It's a Hollywood trend...
29. UNWASHEDMASSES - July 17, 2006 5:12 PM
I'd hit it. But it would be kept a deep, dark secret, not unlike incest or abuse. There would be no bragging to buddies or postings on this or other internet sites. On certain occasions, when alone in the darkness of early morning, my tear-dampened covers pulled tightly around my quivering body, I would sob long and hard over what I had done. The feel of her cellulite ass would haunt the tips of my fingers forevermore. Her frankentits, with their detached nipples and scars, would bring my eyes to tear by memory alone. And her poorly tended quim - oh, God, I could not speak of it let alone compose a sentence! The horror! The horror!
30. BoognishRising - July 17, 2006 5:20 PM
"That'll do, pig. That'll do."
– Farmer Hoggett
31. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh - July 17, 2006 5:21 PM
Frankentits! Ha!
32. C.B. - July 17, 2006 5:22 PM
cellulite, fat, drink.....how can she really stand her??? hmmmm ....
33. YoMamma - July 17, 2006 5:25 PM
N-A-S-T-Y.
34. Iambananas - July 17, 2006 5:38 PM
SHE
NEEDS
TO
NOT
BE
WEARING
A
BIKINI
35. Iambananas - July 17, 2006 5:41 PM
SHE
LOOKS
OLD
.
.
.
HOW
OLD
IS
SHE
?
AS
IN
BIG
OLD
NASTY
BUTT
.
36. BarbadoSlim - July 17, 2006 5:42 PM
#29...that pretty much sums up how most of the males here feel, deep in the places of our minds we dare not go...except, in our,
nightmares.
37. sucramus - July 17, 2006 5:49 PM
In pic 8 her rack and gut remind me of Large Marge's scary, eye-popping face from Pee Wee's Big Adventure.
38. diptutod - July 17, 2006 6:04 PM
She's built like a sausage casing filled with tapioca pudding. It boggles the mind.
39. jFp - July 17, 2006 6:19 PM
the milage has been cruel to Tara
40. ValeWolf - July 17, 2006 6:22 PM
Her ass is not THAT bad. I've seen worse. Trust me *caugh evalongoria caugh*
Anyway, it's nice to have a break from all these skeletors out there but can't she exercise a bit perhaps? Just a little? Walking? Standing? Using the remote?
41. endometriorama - July 17, 2006 6:27 PM
i'd do her.
42. Pearly - July 17, 2006 6:35 PM
Maybe when Tara "hits the beach" she should try swimming with the fish instead of drinking like them.
43. Kate&Tina - July 17, 2006 6:38 PM
She looks all good in the first pic when she standing up walking - not too skinny not too fat. It's just when she sits down - god damn those tummy rolls!
Anyway who cares - she's just enjoying the miami sun - she don't give a fuck so why should we. Let the bitch do her thing!
44. jane's eyre - July 17, 2006 6:41 PM
I give you...
FRANKEN-NIPPLE!!!
*Dun dun dun duuuuuunnnn*
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/005466.html
45. Kate&Tina - July 17, 2006 6:43 PM
She don't look that bad in the first pic where she's standing up. As for her tummy rolls - who gives a fuck - don't look if you don't like a bit of meat. I'd rather be grabbing onto them than Nicole/paris/mischa's rib cage.
She just enjoying the Miami sun - she don't seem to give a fuck about how she looks so why should we?! Tara's all good with me!
46. Kate&Tina - July 17, 2006 6:46 PM
Oh yeah and she got some nice tits
47. Kate&Tina - July 17, 2006 6:47 PM
Sorry what the hell is up with my computer!! :)
48. krisdylee - July 17, 2006 6:56 PM
Kate&Tina. Might we have a word?
First, you're defending Tara Reid. TARA "oblivious to her fake tit hanging out for the whole world to see" REID. Either you are Tara Reid, or some fat ugly bitch/faggot (not that there's anything wrong with that) who thinks anything under a size 16 is A-OK.
Second, what part of the Superficial do you not fucking understand? Please, Osh, Papa, Stallion, Tranny, pinky, jane.... someone help me teach the idiot.
Please. someone....
49. BarbadoSlim - July 17, 2006 6:58 PM
@45 ...Now I don't know if I'm talkin' to kate or tina but maybe both ya' should check what the fuck this site is all about.
morons?
50. krisdylee - July 17, 2006 7:02 PM
Thanks, Slim...
I lust you with all my juicy wild orchid.
51. BoredStiff - July 17, 2006 7:05 PM
@47 You have way bigger worries than your computer.
52. Kate&Tina - July 17, 2006 7:07 PM
48 & 49 - Touchy touchy!! What's with the negativity - oh yeah that's right most the people who come on this site are very sad, lonely, insecure people who have to dis other people to feel beta about themselves.
Well go ahead, fire away if it heals the pain. It's no skin off my nose. I find it fucken halirious!
53. krisdylee - July 17, 2006 7:10 PM
Lamebananas, meet Kate&Tina,
Kate&Tina, meet Lamebananas.
54. bigponie - July 17, 2006 7:11 PM
could it be
kate = MeganNoAss
tina = lamepanoche
55. krisdylee - July 17, 2006 7:11 PM
Yep, I feel much beta now. It IS fucken halirious...
56. Kate&Tina - July 17, 2006 7:16 PM
Lambananas is my idol
57. BoredStiff - July 17, 2006 7:16 PM
@52 While you are finding it "fucken halirious" you should try to find a dictionary as well
58. Kate&Tina - July 17, 2006 7:19 PM
#57 - thanks to the spelling police. Honestly thank you. I just couldn't live with myself for spelling a word wrong my day would have been ruined.
59. BoredStiff - July 17, 2006 7:24 PM
@58 No problem. Now that we have the "spelling" issue covered, let's start looking into the whole punctuation thing as well.
60. bigponie - July 17, 2006 7:27 PM
#56 should read
Lambananas is my idiot
oh no, I just fed the troll
61. hopeless_screenwriter - July 17, 2006 7:28 PM
@ 7 take a condom fill it with equal measurements of crisco, turtle wax and shoe goo, make sure you really pack it in there good (you'd be surprised how big you can get one of these things) then tie it. Squish it all around and you have your fake tit. If it doesn't feel like a tit it is definitely squishy fun. Also, two of these baby's mashed together is hours of fun.
@ 10 Barbie dolls rule, esp. if you brush the hair up and down your genitalia then pull off the head and drop a load down the neck. Try this then ridicule if you dare.
@ 14 Jane I know your grandma's ass and it is perfect.... all nice and rough like dead elephant skin which is an incredible sensation on my shaved scrote as I ram her lubeless in her 'jerky-hole'. If you have any of your grammy's genotes I badly want to fuck you in the ass.
I'm sorry if I seem a little harsh it's just that I was raped a lot by my uncle Rob and I'm a bit fucked in the head.
62. krisdylee - July 17, 2006 7:46 PM
56, that's cuz you're fucken reetarrded.
63. hopeless_screenwriter - July 17, 2006 7:48 PM
Jane... I did laugh a the 'Frankentits' comments. That was AAAAA++++++.
64. TrannyGranny - July 17, 2006 7:50 PM
61 Hopeless;
Hey, rape is such an ugly word, I preferred to call it "violently penetrating every orifice on your body as you screamed and cried for help, but my sis, your mom, naaayveeeer came to help" Besides, you had it coming, parading around in that little cheerleader outfit....what?....oh....you were a cheerleader? Oops, my bad. Well, the bleeding eventually stopped, so quit whining.
65. TrannyGranny - July 17, 2006 7:54 PM
Yo Kris;
How's the cunt today?
66. hopeless_screenwriter - July 17, 2006 8:27 PM
@64 Tranny. I know for a fact that you are not my uncle Rob who is living happily in Kentucky with my family and all the others who dis-owned me for being a ummmm..... how should I put it best! For being a Tattle-Tale.
A word of advice for all you children out there. When your dad's favorite brother sticks his cock in your face, suck it and shut the fuck up, or live in the street, and suck dick to eat and drink, or drink and eat to suck dick; I can't remember the exact sequence right now, but either way... your're pretty much fucked.
Truly yours,
Hopeless
67. Fiona - July 17, 2006 8:30 PM
You can count in that ass and thighs all the Big Macs she's been gobbling down.
68. krisdylee - July 17, 2006 9:01 PM
Tranny: slippery, slightly on the tingly side since you asked, and absolutely scrumptious...
69. Cat - July 17, 2006 9:12 PM
She needs to stop with the plastic surgery and start working out. Bitch got no muscle tone. Damn.
70. Sarah-Jean - July 17, 2006 9:20 PM
She looks horrible...
Note to anyone reading this: if you look like her, PLEASE do us ALL a huge favor... wear a one piece bathing suit and cover your ass up so the rest of us don't get sick!!
And whoever runs this blog, do something about hopeless_screenwriter. The language is a bit much....
71. CruisingForCock - July 17, 2006 9:40 PM
@70
Which words offended you? Was it cock, or suck, or dick, fuck, eat, brother, father? Or was it the combo?
I've really run out of things to say about Tara.
72. TrannyGranny - July 17, 2006 9:47 PM
Hopeless
For real, sorry for your personal tragedy. I am not kidding.
The advice you gave was flat wrong, when ANY one rapes you, violates you, touches you in a way you don't want........Tell everyone. Tell the sheriffs dept. in the next county over, tell strangers. If your family is ok with "uncle" fucking you...your family deserves to go down with an accomplis charge. Period. Make the fuckers hurt. Forever. In prison. Sure, easy to write, you may say.
70 Sarah Jean.......you worthless molly-coddled pig-shit filled cunt. The next time you deem to speak to your betters, think about taking the shit I just took in your mouth out. Cause It stinks. And I want to railroad your asshole with a frozen giant slug. And then make you eat it. You intestinal parasite living, not in an intestine, but rather right in your own mouth. You twat.
It is easy to write. And, it is also easier to stand for yourself (although not at first) than it is to live with the "I am just a fuck-cushion for Anyone" philosophy. You are not worthless. You have every right to have a normal existance.
And, I will tear you a new ass on another thread, just for the hell of it, cause that is what I do.
73. TrannyGranny - July 17, 2006 9:50 PM
68 Kris;
Damn, why are you married!
Have a cuntilicious holiday, and when the cunt cunt's, by all means cunt it all. Cause, cunt is cunt. Supercalicuntilicousexpeyalicuntous.
71 Cruisin;
Oooh, tell me more!
74. DrunkBlogger - July 17, 2006 9:54 PM
Man, Tara Reid is so NOT
75. CruisingForCock - July 17, 2006 10:02 PM
Tranny, I can't say more until she (Sarah-Jean) responds. I don't want offend her by talking about your cock or brother.
76. TrannyGranny - July 17, 2006 10:13 PM
Cruisin;
We can always talk about your genitalia if you are more comfortable? Just tryin to be helpful, you know. I am sure it will be a very tight, intimate conversation, discussing the slipperyness of world affairs and the general tastiness of hollywood. Perhaps even a slip of the tongue regarding how delicious it is to eat Itallian....for hours.
Or....
so I hear, you know.
77. Sir Psycho Sexy - July 17, 2006 10:44 PM
34. I hate to admit it, but the lametard is right.
I'm not sure that Tara Reid is even the same species as Marisa Miller.
Bitch needs to cover that shit up until she does a few thousand crunches, discovers sobriety, and fires Jacko's plastic surgeon, ...
78. here - July 17, 2006 10:47 PM
Great great chick. She's the apartment complex type ho' making the rounds with the off-duty pigs, bouncers, bartenders, etc. Typically a secretary or a bank teller. Plenty of 2:00 AM drama, shitty music, and cigarette butts at her pad. On her cement slab patio, accessed by a sliding glass door, is a beat-up Weber for barbeques and some floaty things for the pool. Maybe a mini-trampoline is out there. Has a few choice words in the sack, eg. "Ba-by". At the pool, drinks Zima's or cheap wine-coolers and so forth. Has a cat or a small dog not properly house trained, and dying plants in hanging plastic planters. Plays Quarters and does Tequila body shots on the kitchen table. Full-on marriage material.
79. Glossed Over - July 17, 2006 10:52 PM
Um, at what point does Tara Reid no longer qualify as a celebrity? 'Cause if she's not there yet, she's got to be awfully close to oblivion.
http://glossedover.com
80. CruisingForCock - July 17, 2006 11:39 PM
You're a dirty boy, Tranny. It's what I love best about you.
81. daveeech - July 18, 2006 8:43 AM
Future wannabe Surreal Life resident...at best.
82. jrzmommy - July 18, 2006 9:16 AM
What's going on with the head scarf? Is it Chemo-Chic?
83. DevastatorX - July 18, 2006 9:43 AM
I bet that American Pie sequel is looking real good right now.
84. Kim - July 18, 2006 10:15 AM
How can this girl afford to go on so many vacations? she hasn't done anything since that horrible "show" on E! She can't still be earning royalties form american pie either. I figured she would have drank away her fortune by now.
85. digitalabia - July 18, 2006 10:23 AM
You fuckers are crazy. She is still cute and t
and totally do-able. Sure she is a
little skanky, but so what. If you
met her on the street, you would
date her.
86. jrzmommy - July 18, 2006 10:34 AM
that's just it.....she "dates" lots of people she meets on the street because SHE'S A WHORE!
87. DancingQueen - July 18, 2006 11:12 AM
Wow, I have a better body than this chick and I've had two kids and I'm older than her. So THERE!
88. superficialreader#879002 - July 18, 2006 11:35 AM
#87 - I agree with you there.
She's so gone downhill. It's a shame. When I first saw her, she was cute & had incredibly sparkly blue eyes. Now all I can see is flabby sad rolls, and a really bad boob job.
89. IFuckingHateYou - July 18, 2006 12:07 PM
I need to put a bigger fence around my pool.
I went out and called for my dogs last night:
"Here Fat Bastard. Here Fucktard"
Tara Reid, Sarah-Jean & MeganHarris all showed up and jumped in my pool, using lame-ass-bannana as a floaty.
I called the cops and they hauled the stupid cunts away, but they warned me that I couldn't drain my pool because of all the STD's floating around in it, it wouldn't be safe to introduce that to the sewer system.
Any suggestions on how to dispose of this wretched water now?
I really miss using my pool.
90. tits_on_snack - July 18, 2006 12:24 PM
The thing about Tara Reid is that every podunk town has a Tara Reid, sometimes two or three Tara Reids. You see them standing outside gas stations smoking cigarettes and spitting on the ground, with scrunchies in their hair and way too much mascara. What I don't understand is how this particular Tara Reid became famous.
91. lisad71 - July 18, 2006 12:46 PM
Let this be a lesson, boys. Take a good look at why condoms were invented and why you should use them.
92. Queen LaQueefah - July 18, 2006 1:27 PM
Holy shitake, her ass looks like a melting pile of butter! Stop drinking, you alcohol-bloated trash bin! Why do bitches think just getting bigger titties fixes everything? I've impulsively reached for a pencil three times to poke my own eyes out, but I've stopped myself, since I kind of need 'em.
p.s. how does she earn money? Obviously she has nothing to do but get shit-faced and eat double bacon burgers, because she looks as if she's naturally thin but let herself WAY go. I bet if she just worked out once a week she could improve on that busted-can-o-biscuits ass.
93. Spindoc - July 18, 2006 1:59 PM
#90 Tits on Snack....that is absolutly perfectly true!!! Excellent comment.
The thing I love about Tara Reid is that she is such a warning about how all those young starlets can fuck up their carreers....and NONE of them will learn from her.
94. pieceabolonga - July 18, 2006 2:06 PM
what is that AWFUL pink thing on her head? does she have hair loss problems as well? oh shit... maybe she has cancer... which i would excuse her for her appearance
95. Monkey - July 18, 2006 4:33 PM
Ok, now this is a dorky question, but I'll ask anyway: Has Tara had a baby at some point? Her belly is doing that accordian-thing that happens to lots of women who've had babies. I don't think it doesn't go away, even with nips and tucks.
And let's not be tooooo judgemental about the butt cellulite. I was all "whatever" and "I'll never have cellulite" - until I turned 26. Now I have a little bit. *sigh* I hate me.
96. Monkey - July 18, 2006 4:35 PM
Wait - I meant to say "I think it doesn't go away" - referring to the accordian belly. Not, "I don't think it doesn't"... That would be weird.
97. jrzmommy - July 18, 2006 4:38 PM
I think the headline should say, Tara Reid Hits Miami WITH Her Bikini....'cuz her keester is looking large.
98. Sheva - July 18, 2006 6:15 PM
Tara used to be a thin cute Jersey girl.
Now she's a fake ballon titted drunken hag with an old lady's cigerette voice.
Oh yeah and she's a drunken slut.
99. FifiLaWhore - July 18, 2006 8:04 PM
You just KNOW that shes is peeing in the pool
100. alaskanchicsickle - July 19, 2006 12:11 AM
@89 IFuckingHateYou, that was fucking hilarious. IFuckingLoveYou!
101. england06 - July 19, 2006 12:59 AM
Tara Reed=britney without kids.
she's burning my eyes.
argh the horror.
102. DevastatorX - July 19, 2006 11:03 AM
I was wondering where that cottage cheese in my refrigerator dissapeared to.
103. mane - July 19, 2006 3:28 PM
Man That Looks Like An "ACORDEON VALLENATO" If Latinos Know Wat I Mean :-D