Who doesn't love letting their ferret run through the garbage and then making out with it? It's safe. It's sanitary. And it just makes sense. Although I'm more concerned about the ferret catching something from Paris Hilton than the other way around. The ferret's only been going through the garbage. Can't say the same about Paris.
More of Paris and her garbage loving ferret after the jump.
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Reader Comments
1. In your face - July 17, 2006 12:36 PM
First!
2. bloomersonfire - July 17, 2006 12:37 PM
this is what happens when you give up sex for a year....
3. In your face - July 17, 2006 12:37 PM
Alll riiight , gigitty goo
4. rudesauce - July 17, 2006 12:37 PM
I hope that thing bites her face. Bad.
5. rudesauce - July 17, 2006 12:39 PM
And nice moo-moo.
6. craptownusa - July 17, 2006 12:41 PM
what the fuck is with that hat?
7. pop - July 17, 2006 12:42 PM
it's far more sanitary to kiss any animal coming out of the garbage then touching that STD infested piece of trash hilton....
http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/
call me paris....
8. wonsaponatime - July 17, 2006 12:43 PM
why.
9. nc72 - July 17, 2006 12:43 PM
Was she dumpster diving? Looks like she's gonna eat the fellow, not very sporting of a vegetarian...
http://www.exposay.com/paris-hilton-grossed-out-by-heather-mills-mccartneybecomes-vegetarian/v/2560/
10. YouWannaBMe - July 17, 2006 12:44 PM
What the FUG is she wearing? She looks like she went through Mrs. Roeper's closet from Three's Company. Either that, or she's thanking her ferret for finding her outfit in the garbage.
11. Fatty Boom-Batty - July 17, 2006 12:45 PM
When I was a little kid my Uncle's ferret got out of it's cage and bit me on the wrist. That was Christmas Eve. A few days later I sat on it and killed it. Fast-forward 20 years and Paris Hilton is a slut.
12. CoJo - July 17, 2006 12:45 PM
Aren't those rats illegal in Cali.?
13. bigponie - July 17, 2006 12:45 PM
how cute, she found a fellow rodent.
14. causewerecountry - July 17, 2006 12:48 PM
my dog kisses me on the mouth...but he's not paris hilton so i'm cool
what is she wearing? the hat is worth than the dress..
i wish the ferret had strings of garbage hanging from it..
15. UNWASHEDMASSES - July 17, 2006 12:52 PM
What's with the get-up?? Is she going to a "Logan's Run" party? I think I saw that dress on Farrah Fawcett pre-Ryan O'Neill back when she was Farrah Fawcett-Majors. And that boonie hat just ties it all together. The ferret is called Pootchie and resides in her warm and spacious vaginal folds. If one of Paris' numerous lovers gets a bit randy and she hasn't removed Pootchie, her guardian of gash, then they will get bitten. That ferret is akin to the Viet Cong's use of bamboo shafts lined with razors up their cunnies to shred GI penises. Pootchie bites or scratches any unwelcome finger or penis. The poor creature reeks of three day old tuna and suffers from chronic herpetic infections of the eyes. PETA would act, but healthy donations from Ms. Hilton keep the hypocritical nutjobs at bay.
16. OhHowCynical - July 17, 2006 12:53 PM
She looks like a ferret... a lazy-eyed, blue contact lenses wearing one, at that.
17. Glossed Over - July 17, 2006 12:55 PM
Fortunately, the ferret's lack of opposable thumbs means that the new couple's intimate moments will not be released on videotape.
http://glossedover.com
18. Fated - July 17, 2006 1:07 PM
So apparently she has had all of the men in the world and has had to resort to bestiality.. At least the ferret won't care about that awful outfit
19. francesfarmer - July 17, 2006 1:07 PM
that's hot...or is that getting old now? Meh it's monday morning
http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2006/07/16/justin_timberlake_gets_plastered_and_dab
20. Fated - July 17, 2006 1:07 PM
So apparently she has had all of the men in the world and has had to resort to bestiality.. At least the ferret won't care about that awful outfit
21. ICouldn'tResist - July 17, 2006 1:08 PM
That poor ferret had a better chance of staying clean if it stayed behind the garbage now. Now it needs to be quarantined.
22. sometimesboy - July 17, 2006 1:10 PM
ugg...why'd she put that ugly hat and dress on that poor ferret...crazy rich people...
23. Icognito79 - July 17, 2006 1:11 PM
Poor forgotten Tinkerbell.
24. PapaHotNuts - July 17, 2006 1:13 PM
After Paris kissed it on the mouth, the ferret went and ate a piece of dog shit to get that taste off of his lips.
25. Italian Stallion - July 17, 2006 1:19 PM
So, when she said she was giving up sex for a year she only meant sex with humans......................
26. DancingQueen - July 17, 2006 1:20 PM
How the hell did she get my Maw-Maw's moo-moo?
27. jFp - July 17, 2006 1:22 PM
caption #5
the ferret: "man..I just got her stink off of me and now she's all up an in my face again. oh well...back to the garbage can."
28. krisdylee - July 17, 2006 1:23 PM
Why is Paris kissing David Spade?
29. cricket0995 - July 17, 2006 1:30 PM
I wonder if she realizes her fur trimmed outfits are made from similar little creatures. She has no soul!
30. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh - July 17, 2006 1:41 PM
She should spend some of her fortune on reversing the process which is turning her into a greasy mannequin. I suppose that process might be some form of outer-space AIDS that we haven't even heard of yet, but that's Paris for ya - she's a pioneer.
31. HolisticWisdomcom - July 17, 2006 1:46 PM
Did not see one of those in her sex video-
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/paris-hilton-video.htm
32. C.B. - July 17, 2006 1:51 PM
doesn't she have somebody to do that for her??? yacks ... that's just yacks
33. DonLes91 - July 17, 2006 1:59 PM
LMAO @ krisdylee
34. Populist - July 17, 2006 2:00 PM
I'd kiss the ferret over Paris, too. Chances are, the ferret has had a lot less cock in it's mouth.
35. Justin Igger - July 17, 2006 2:02 PM
i got some better for her to kiss on
36. twzzlrgirl - July 17, 2006 2:06 PM
I've never seen Paris in such appropriate surroundings -- large rodent, skanky looking garbage can (or is that Paris, I can't tell), huge muu-muu and slippers. I mean, this is her natural habitat.
The ferret, however, figures he has to find a new home, what with the neighborhood going downhill and all...
37. Spindoc - July 17, 2006 2:06 PM
My guess, is she inserts a tampon made of cheese, coats the Ferret with Betadine and lets it have at it. Bout the only thing that can clean up those Pussfilled Herpes Blisters i'd imagine.
38. twzzlrgirl - July 17, 2006 2:17 PM
A tampon made of cheese -- is that what strip cheese is for?? It's the right shape...
39. HughJorganthethird - July 17, 2006 2:20 PM
Hey Paris, Mrs. Roper from Three's Company just called, she want's her dress back.
40. Triumph Insult Dog - July 17, 2006 2:20 PM
These pictures are really sweet. Looking at them makes you remember that she's somebody's daughter and not that chick on the internet going down on her ex-boyfriend...
http://www.blackbeatpress.com
41. terlgerl - July 17, 2006 2:36 PM
Paris Hilton has been around the block, she had to upgrade from gerbils to ferrets to get that same feeling.
42. Jedi Kevin - July 17, 2006 2:46 PM
Please vote for how much you hate Paris Hilton!
http://www.misterpoll.com/437353014.html
43. Courtney - July 17, 2006 2:47 PM
Seriously, Mr. Superficial? Is that the best you can do? Not to jump on the this-site-is-so-lame-now bandwagon, but really. At least do a clever and witty write up if you're going to talk about absolutely nothing. I think we get it - Paris Hilton's a skank. Let's move on, shall we?
44. terlgerl - July 17, 2006 3:03 PM
Ahh how romantic, the two are just foraging for a late night snack.
Crazy ferret sex can work up quite an appetite.
45. docweasel - July 17, 2006 3:16 PM
I keep thinking of the SouthPark episode where all her pets end up commiting suicide to avoid being 'cuddled' by Paris.
Last night in Paris
Last night in Paris
Last night in Paris was strange!
46. Ez-EEEE - July 17, 2006 3:31 PM
OMFG
WHERES PETA NOW?!?!?!
isnt it against the law to do harm to animals?
sure letting it crawl in garbage thats fine, but willfully infecting it syphallis, herpes, hiv, hpv... thats just wrong.
someone shoot her before she strikes again.
47. herbiefrog - July 17, 2006 4:03 PM
hey ferrits
hobbits
whip its ;)
ass off
[sorry cot carried caway]
...what was the quest...
oh yes paris, i would
in a years time :)
in a heartbeat
sooo...
ferret?
no... nothing to say...
48. Aristotrash - July 17, 2006 4:27 PM
What is up with her dress? Has she gone Liz Taylor on us already?
49. gigi33 - July 17, 2006 4:29 PM
She looks huge! What a fat pig. Maybe that's why she's dissing skinny girls, to make herself feel better.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13639833/
50. monkf1sh - July 17, 2006 4:56 PM
Are ferrets capable of emitting poison that can turn brainless socialites into zombies? The proof is in picture #4.
51. YoMamma - July 17, 2006 5:26 PM
N-A-S-T-Y
52. annie - July 17, 2006 5:49 PM
Now that's class. No, wait...
53. ValeWolf - July 17, 2006 7:35 PM
That poor animal is no being fed.
54. hisforalways - July 17, 2006 8:33 PM
I used to think that she looked a lot like her chihuahua, but now I think the ferret has beaten her out.
55. hopeless_screenwriter - July 17, 2006 8:50 PM
I'm last. I'm last again. Ha... I'm last. I'm last. Sha na na na sha na na na hea hea hea I'm last!!!! I think.
56. bunnyhugger - July 17, 2006 8:51 PM
y'know, i don't get it most of the time, but herbiefrog is really starting to grow on me!
and whoever asked, yes it IS illegal to have ferrets in CA.
i don't know exactly what the law is (for instance, pirahna are illegal TO BUY OR SELL but you can OWN them. don't ask me what 'tard penned that one), but i'm pretty sure you can't have ferrets at all. she also had another illegal pet that she picked up in nevada, as i recall. a kinkaju or something similar.
but if you have enough money, apparently regular people laws don't affect you.
57. Vas Deferens - July 17, 2006 8:54 PM
Yeah, this is normal.
58. Sarah-Jean - July 17, 2006 9:23 PM
I feel bad for the ferret...
59. ReelWorld - July 18, 2006 12:47 AM
What's the deal with her back?? Is that her SPINE?? Yeeesh!
60. PongGod - July 18, 2006 12:59 AM
RE #9: You can bet Paris is still eating plenty of meat.
As for the ferret, it's her favorite dildo.
61. bellaparis - July 18, 2006 2:29 AM
The first thing I thought when I saw the first picture was 'Oh my God, what the hell is wrong with her'
62. jrzmommy - July 18, 2006 10:06 AM
She looks crazy. The syphilis will start to work it's magic and in a few years and she will be a crazy lady who hoards ferrets.
63. januaryanne - July 18, 2006 11:41 AM
paris says every era has an iconic blond. like marilyn monroe. and now it's paris.
coincidentally, every era's icon has a useless pet.
wait no. nope.
64. Joy - July 18, 2006 12:30 PM
Wonder why she still has the ferret? I think it weighs more than the 4 pound dog she got rid of because it was too big??
65. atomikblonde88 - July 18, 2006 6:47 PM
shit for brains is at it again. the ferret is actually a lot cuter and probably a lot smarter than her too.
although I wonder what kind of self-tanner she uses...
66. Sassy - July 18, 2006 8:06 PM
That poor poor ferret.
67. sarahbitchhtitz - July 18, 2006 8:35 PM
she should drop that ferret down her top and let it run!!... that would be hilarious.. well i think it would *shrug*
68. sarahbitchhtitz - July 18, 2006 8:39 PM
hmm... i just noticed this.. whats up with the fishing hat and the isotoners?
69. januaryanne - July 18, 2006 10:02 PM
oh honestly 68, you don't know about this? everyone on project runway is making isotoners and fishing hats VERY big in couture. i heard austin scarlett was doing a line for gay fishermen's hags. love it!
70. montrealgirl - July 19, 2006 12:15 AM
"Who doesn't love letting their ferret run through the garbage and then making out with it? It's safe. It's sanitary. And it just makes sense. Although I'm more concerned about the ferret catching something from Paris Hilton than the other way around."
DAMN that's funny
71. htmlqueen - July 19, 2006 12:22 AM
Am I the only one who likes that dress? hehe
72. stacie - July 20, 2006 10:39 AM
i have that dress. it's from fcuk
73. herbiefrog - July 20, 2006 11:03 AM
i find the trick with ferrits
is to get them to come close
then to grab them by the neck
swing 'em round a coupla times
so the like lose coordination
then throw them upwards
so they hang on to
the ceiling
no wait... that's kittens
tru.story
74. 18_snotty_kinnarude - July 26, 2006 11:17 AM
ok little ferret. Just like we planned, when she gets reaaaal close you rip that lazy eye right out of its socket, you hang on to that hook nose of hers until she runs in terror in the busy streets of LA, then, you set her right in the middle of the road and you wait til a niice big truck runs her right over. once that is done, you engrave the initials 18skr(18snottykinnarude). Once that is done, steal her cell phone (just like i showed you) and post all the nasty picture of her masterbating or making out with girl or what not. Send a copy to her family,The United Nations, to the priests in Vatican, to my friend Vicky, ( o yeah shes gunna be like , no way,like u rule!!)kiekiekiekiekie *snort* kiekiekeikie
75. HollywoodSnark - March 27, 2007 12:36 PM
can't the ferret just bite her and give her aids or something?
76. FerretMama - June 8, 2007 3:50 AM
I really feel for her poor pets -- what happens to them when she gets disinterested once more? And for the record, ferrets are not rodents, and they do not carry diseases any more than your typical house dog or cat. There have never been any reported cases of a ferret with rabies. They DO need a lot of care, however, in the form of love and attention -- something we can be quite sure Skank Hilton isn't providing. The state ought to take every last pet away from her, permanently.