Jul 13 2006Paris Hilton is a total liar

That's funny because I'm totally giving up caring about this herpes infested bitch for the rest of my life. Beat that whore!!!!!!

That is a reference to Mango from SNL.

Where's my money bitch?

It's easy to give up sex once your vag has rotted and fallen off.

Used up skanky, pissy pants, dumbasdirt, useless, boring, untalented whore.

I give her maybe a week and then she will crack.

Hey, SF guy, totally awesome Mango reference from one of the least funny sketches during the one of the least funny eras in SNL history, second only to the current.

i'm giving up masturbating to paris and lindsay lohan for a year too

I'm giving up work for a year!!!

I can just imagine Paris in a monestary in a pink burlap sack. It helps me get through the day.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

In realted news from the land of make believe, Paris Hilton is giving up Valtrex for a year.

I want to break Chris Kattan's acid-eating monkey mouth with a brick.

Mango? I thought it was his Antonio Banderes skit he was referencing.

I'm gonna give up fat white bitches too. Nevermind, i can't do that, i love me some fat white bitches and crack, lots, and lots of crack!!!!

that story was out hours ago....

http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/2006/07/paris-hilton-to-give-up-sex-no-really.html

she'll give up sex with michael jackson gives up molesting children....

Paris, just keep telling yourself that announcing your vow of celibacy on a TV show doesn't come across at all like a desperate plea for attention.

http://glossedover.com

As of this print this slut has already gotten drunk and screwed half of Bungalow 8, Butter or wherever the fuck else she has been at. Paris you are just so stupid aren't you?

She says all of this as if it's she just had this big epiphany that people might think you're a whore when you fuck multiple men every week and become a walking herpe.
By the way, she looks like such a BITCH in that picture. Man I wish Shannen Doherty would kick her ass again.

That entire statement she made is theoritical on her part. She conveniently left off at the end, "Or so I've heard."

In other words, she's been thru everyone in NY and LA. And those she hasn't fucked refuse to fuck her for fear of getting dick rot.

Also, I might be more convinced that she actually thinks its gross to "just give it up"
if her pussy wasn't plastered all over the internet.

"Paris Hilton giving up sex for a year is like Lindsay Lohan giving up bikinis. Or Britney Spears giving up taping her baby to the trunk of her car."

...Or like Tom Cruise giving up the cock. We could forever with these.

The only way it'd be possible for Paris to not have sex is total isolation. Preferably at the bottom of the sea, wearing custom-made, designer cement shoes.

I wonder how hard it was for Regis and Kelly to contain their hysterical laughter.

I'm sure #21 she would molest a few seashells down there so that suggestion is out of the question.

I doubt she needs a WHOLE year to rediscover herself...something tells me she's not that deep.

This will last as long as Saddam Hussein's hunger strike.

picture of paris on the phone...

Paris: Hi daddy, it's me Paris, I just want to let you know that I've given up sex for a year.

Daddy: Wait a minute, who the fuck is this?

Or, does it take a year for the genital warts to start to recess?

Wait, is it lent already?

MeganHarris gave up sex, but not by choice........

Paris (on the phone): "A year is HOW long?? "

In related news, the incidence of herpes in quarterbacks and greek shipping millionaires has dropped by 95%, since this cumdumpster got off the market.

@26...hahahaha!

well we think it's sweet
just what we would expect
from one of our leading
ponies :)

"Guys want you more if you don't just hand it to them on a platter. If they want you, then they will wait. You have to make them work for it."

...so do let us know
...how that turns
...out for you

babe :)

P.S. what exactly do you mean
by "work for it" ?

**DISCLAIMER*** The preceding statement as made by Ms. Hilton does NOT include taking it in the shitter or giving blumpies ***

see, since her vag is basically under disrepair, it is physically impossible for her to take it that way. maybe she doesn't consider anal or blowjobs "sex" per se.

I think she can do it. I believe in her. She's a strong woman with a lot of will.

Go Paris!

35
She learned that one from Willy Clinton.

33. Herbiefrog, you rock my world.
I think when she says "work for it" she means "pay for it".

This is just like the Britney - "leave me alone - oh look i'm nekkid on a magazine cover" stunt. There's obviously another sextape on the horizon.

She's such a positive role model for young girls. I really believe that.

yes megan, a positive role model for young girls who wants to get into porn

39. Yeah MeganHarris, she's such a positive role model. I'm sure you'd be delighted if your kids turned out like her.

http://www.imnotobsessed.com/2006/07/07/omg-this-is-so-bad

Megan Harris will never get laid. I really believe that.

She's one short step from scientology. May God give her a push. And may she be standing on the observation deck at the Empire State Building.

In related news, Valtrex stock has plummeted to an all-time low.

So, she's giving up meat? Guess that makes her a vag-eterian. ** drum roll, rimshot, crash**

i pray she gets gang-raped the entire pittsburg steeler football team and that idiot big ben drives his motorcycle into her grand canyon-like snatch...

GREAT! I just realized that that picture was taken on 50th St right off of 6th ave in Manhattan, the same FUCKING street I have to walk down to get to the train every day. No wonder they walled it off and have HazMat teams running around with Geiger counters going off the charts! I heard a few yelling at some of the newbies not to hurl inside their protective suits... but it was too late. Sad, just sad I tell you. I have to go burn my shoes now, since they are surely infected with mutant herpes. Where's a helicoptor and a German outhouse when you need them??? I mean FUCK, I thought they were our allies...

I like when she commented that one night stands weren't for her, that giving it up was gross. When did this occur to her? The 14th time she was diagnosed with a new strain of herpes? Or the third time she had to go in for vaginal reconstruction? What she didn't say in the interview, but was implied in the way she diddled herself on national t.v., was that she may have given up sex but not lying. Or perhaps we are overlooking yet another possibilty - that her puss is so riddled with a sundry of stds that it has become nothing but a huge, weeping sore. A pusy pussy. She has no choice but to lay off the lay until things are decontaminated. Apparently the only guys who'll screw her are Greek shipping heirs - and we know they'll fuck anything.

Paris: "I'm giving up sex..." "One-night stands are not for me. I think it's gross when you just give it up."

(Long pregnant pause)
(crickets can be heard in the background)

Regis: "So.....people are afraid to screw you"?

Paris: "yep"

I'm giving up chicken for a year. I'm not giving up eating chicken, just fucking them.

I think she needs to give up more than sex for a year, how about giving up being caught up in superficial nonsense and take some of her millions to do something worth a damn in her life. What is her purpose here if not to just look like she is having more fun than anyone else? I say she gives up partying for one year, and focuses her life on doing something meaningful like actually contributing to society.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm seeing a gun-toting CDC honcho involved in this one. If Paris truly gives up the cock for a year, her vagina will turn inside out, and fold around her...she'll look like a hackeysack. Only stickier.

no SEX? I think she's probably confused. Sex does not just include anal, Paris. Also, if you do it with one of your exes, and you have many, it DOES count as sex. What you should do, darling, is dunk your ugly head in some acid and do the entire universe a favor.

Hey, if Paris want to give up sax for a year, let her. I think she can do!

I also thought that our government cared about us and that by the time 2000 was here, we'd all have flying cars, but, hey, this is different.

Wait, what? Oh, SEX for a year? Oh, yeah, no way! Forget it!...

http://www.blackbeatpress.com

I prolly get laid more than anyone commenting on this post.

duh.

fucking catcher's mitt. you know not even kegels can save her stretched-out cooter?

@55

Masterbation and fucking your daddy doesn't count.

Megan, it "prolly" doesn't count if you have to pay for it. Sorry.

duh.

I think this is an amazing show of restraint, and, because she's such a great role model and all her selfless actions inspired me to give up shooting people who piss me off for a year.

I think it's pretty obvious that Megan is just posting stupid crap that she knows will get people to respond to her. Sounds kind of like the original lametard, lovetohavebananasshovedupmyrectum.

58

it doesn't?!...FUCK...

Ummm well when your beaver has shrivelled up and died because of over use, then of course you'd give up sex.

So what. My mate lies all the time.

58

Little Meggers is probably just referring to the fact that despite the fact a chicken keeps squeezing her out of it's ass, she keeps climbing back in...thus, getting laid repeatedly.

I hate it when that fucking happens.

She's probably sick if having 5 STD's at the same time and getting abortions twice a year. I can understand that.

Maybe she just means not having sex with humans.. she has been buying a lot of new pets lately... ewww.

Reference: Mango from SNL.

Yesss! I will a million bucks/deer.

THE WORLD IS MINE!

@67
See #2. Yeah.

@66
Maybe she's the cause of avian bird flu.

Why oh why can't Paris give up breathing for a year?

And since when is banging Paris brag-worthy? Jebus, look at all the dudes who've banged her. She has worse taste in men than Pamela Anderson.

Also, "guys want you more if you don't just hand it to them on a platter"? In what universe? And "work for it"? What the hell does that even mean? Filling out a questionnaire? Bringing her the head of Lindsay Lohan?

She crazy from the syphilis.

Someone should explain to her that it includes not having sex with yourself or machines.
I bet she has one of these at home:
http://www.extremerestraints.com/the-rider-fuck-machine_543.html

NO! Such as MANGO

Paris probably needs a break from sex after having a bizarre sexual encounter involving her rhinestone-covered camera phone... and the need for her vagina to have its own close-up!

I wonder if MeganHarris could give Paris some?.... would THAT count? I think she'd be more than willing. Then she could take lessons on how to be such a great role model for the kiddies.

here's a video of britney and that trunk baby! f-ing funny...

youtube.com/watch?v=u43uUXTk4rM

they should get paris next. although it will probably be xxx rated!

i seriously laughed out loud when i read the "such is the mango" comment about paris hilton. god damn you are one of my favourite people ever.

#41 - great link. Horrifying, too.

I don't think these Megan Harris posts are from the real Megan Harris. I know I'm a relative newby, but this doesn't sound like her, frankly (don't blast me for this one).

Lots of multiple personalities on this site -- it's strangely exciting.

Local DJ was annoucing Paris' new song on the radio today, he said "And now here is the lovely untalented, er, I meant talented Paris Hilton with her new song..." he was right the first time.

#71

I can't believe people pay $749 for those things. I mean, for about $35 you could pay for a thighmaster, a dildo, and the materials to attach the two, and basically have the same thing.

People are insane.

Somebody is really f--king with me on this site.

thats all.

"Can you know the mighty ocean?" "Can you lasso a star from the sky?" No, such is Mango!
"Can a person actually be a walking STD?" Yes, such is Paris!

a thighmaster?

if you go homemade...go with this:

http://www.fuckingmachines.com/meetthemachines/trespasser.php

Is she a hermaphrodite? I saw I picture of her poon the other day, and I swear I saw a scrotum.

yeah, who is megan harris???

paris saying shes given up sex is like MJ not having sex w/ little boys.....sooner or later....its gunna happen

Paris says this because the doctors say if she keeps having sex, it will nourish her raging superherpes strain, which will break free of her disease-ridden body and ravage the world.

She's just saying it to reassure the docs. She'll keep having sex.

PH is one of the dumbest people in the world. She isn't all that attractive, yet think she is some idol, all she is good for is screwing, but she has no business ever having children, they would all be retarted like her. It should be mandatory that she goes and plays in Traffic daily, and in doing so, she must bring that stupid little dog that I'd LOVE to kick across a football field. SCORE!!!

Paris is actually having her vag cryogenitally frozen for a year.

I distinctly remember her fucking a guy in a Port-o-Potty.

Oh no! Is that a smile line? Maybe it's time for someone to jump on the Jackson bandwagon?

#87 ...not that i give a fuck, but...

some grey son [all together "of a bitch" :) ]
...said

> PH is one of the dumbest people in the world.

...see, that's where you're wrong
...she's actually very intelligent
...how many millions did you make
...so far this year :) [save the lol bitch for later]

She isn't all that attractive

...well you are entitled to
...your opinion [no idea what it's based on]

, yet think she is some idol

...well you are posting about her
...for no apparent reason


, all she is good for is screwing

...aaah, we see, you're a
...misogynist, do you also
...hate your mother [bitch ]

, but she has no business ever having children

...it's the "circle of life"
get over it

, they would all be retarted like her

...you throw around many
...of those types of insult
a little self-concious perhaps ?

It should be mandatory that she goes and plays in Traffic daily,

...and that is amusing because ?


and in doing so, she must bring that stupid little dog that I'd LOVE to kick across a football field. SCORE!!!

...maybe the dog is about
...the right size for you
...to take on...

seems paris is out of your league

so lol bitch, get over yourself :))

@ 71-- bwaaahahahahah!!!!!
giving up sex? um, sure, we all know the slut was getting it in the pooper as soon as she was done with the 'interview'....and regarding the "i give my all to a guy, im special" bullshit, is that why she picked up her cel in her boring ass sex tape????
maybe her doc said, "miss herpes, you cant fuck anymore. your pussy is way too beat up and your meat curtians are hanging to the floor. hold on, ill write you an rx for valtrex..."
i would have written her an rx for pheno then told her to drink it with straight grain alcohol.

She's giving up sex with men for a year, she didn't mention her menagerie of zoo animals.

We're all doomed, guys.

I was on the bus on the way back from Auschwitz, trying to grasp what I'd just seen, and what comes on the radio? The Stars are Blind. As if it wasn't enough that the skanky bitch's song was on Polish radio, two British tw@ts started singing along. I believe her special strain of super Herpes is taking over the world, one country at a time. God help us all!

paris hilton is not at all a bad person and i think she is a good rolemodel to girls im 16 and shes my rolemodel she a good person shes beautiful and shes honest yea so she made a sex tape like u never have .. people just want to see her so much that hers happens to be famous i think she a good person.

95. Are you a friend of MeganHarris? if not you should be... i think you should go post stuff like this on her fanclub page:
www.wewannabestupidspoitwhores.com
You'll love it there...

Unless you were joking in which case that's some funny shit.

will someone, for the love of all that's holy, please tell this cunting whore to just stick with her real hair, however stringy & foul it is, and cut it out with the goddamn wigs. She always looks so cheap & filthy.

Liked her better in her sex tape-

http://www.holisticwisdom.com/paris-hilton-video.htm

I was still asleep when she announced this, and was awoken by the hysterical roars of laughter that broke out all over the world at the moment those words were uttered from her lips (which were sore from just giving some guy backstage a big ole' BJ.) But BJ's don't count as sex right?

Awesome mango reference, but you forgot to spank your ass in a teasing manner afterwards. maybe next time. I want my deer!!

#91

Oh yes, what a self made business woman. She has people whom she (or her parents) pay to think for her... The only part she plays in the whole deal is slapping her trashy face on the label.

To say that flamingo in a wig has ever had a pertinent idea or thought in regards to anything other than what random stranger to fuck is just hilarious.

sex with... men?
women?
animals?

She probably meant giving-up normal relationship sex. This time next week she will probably be working in some ' Glory Hole ' establishment.... claiming " This is a job... not sex! "

Arggghhh! :(

paris hilton giving up sex is like me giving up my water and foodd. i give her 3 days and she'll start having sex 24/7!!!

Leave paris alone, she can do what ever she puts her mind to. I worship Paris, and im giving up sex for a year like she is.

This one will make her behave well.
http://www.oneadultstore.com/-p-8186.html