Jul 14 2006Naomi Campbell finds new ways to hurt assistants

Oh yea... #1

firts!!!

damn you!

didnt wanna be first anyways, stupid stupid naomi

this is just fantastic.
she is a total badass.

I can't believe it worked... I was first... I'm going out and buying a lottery ticket today!!! ... yippee, hoorah...

Umm okay, she's obviously fucked in the head. But honestly, who are these people that are still willing to work for this freak of nature? They've gotta have some major issues. Or they like to have their faces smashed by a crazed maniac with a cell phone. I'm just sayin'.

I work @ an Inn in East Hampton, where Naomi stayed a few weeks ago.

Not a pleasant woman to deal with; I can attest to this.

I'm so disinterested in this violent little chain of events that I stopped paying attention half way through the first paragraph and started wondering how a woman with as little muscle as Ms. Campbell could hold a blackberry in such a way where she could actually strike someone in the face with it without them ducking underneath her swing and karate kicking her in the ovaries.

But maybe that's just me, because I'm not sure if I could use a Blackberry as a weapon either.

I truly cannot believe people still agree to be her assistant. She must have some kind of magical power that convinces people that even though she punched and threw Blackberries at former assistants, this time will be different.

Either that, or she pays in Marc Jacobs. I could take a lot of abuse if it involved Marc Jacobs.

She dated Mike Tyson for awhile and learned how to kick ass. She has become the mafia head or warlord of all Supermodels.....she'll kick your ass.

Question for the insightful: What kind of country is this that you can't beat your maid???

I hear that Naomi Campbell wears a pointy-topped Kaiser helmet and demands her assistants to call her Naomi, the Nubian Nightmare. She keeps her assistants in kennels in one of her mammoth walk-in closets, which is lit with the brightest klieg lights known to mankind and hasYoko Ono music piped-in 24 hours a day. The assistants are fed a steady diet of laxatives and baccala and they're not allowed to use toilet paper.

Naomi and Russell Crowe need to get together.

I thought we all agreed not to keep doing that whole "i'm first!!" shit. great, you're first, whoopdefrickendo. retards.

Naomi must screen for insecure women to be her assistants. She probably trolls for mental breakdown patients at sanitariums or has her applications placed in psychiatrist offices on both sides of the Atlantic. Working for her must be akin to working under Eichmann. I keep waiting for the day I visit this site and there's a pic of Naomi being taken to a hospital on a gurney with the caption: Naomi finally gets as good as she gives. Come on ladies, someone beat the talentless shit out of this fugly - and I do mean fugly - primadonna cuntess. The chick who smacks her down will be an instant celebrity and probably get a guest spot on the Tyra Banks show. Oh, and Naomi, if your insipid night-colored ass is reading this, Tyra blows you away.

Hey, I survived an abusive marriage which included lots of bruises and a broken nose and got no monetary compensation.

That said, I'll take a blackberry to the fuckin face or have clothing ripped off of me as long as I get to sue the bitch...

Naomi, I'm available and applying for the job... Call me.

Imagine somehow creating the Uber-Savage Model---part Naomi, part Grace Jones

Can you imagine fucking this warhorse?
Everytime you cum before her you are likely to get smacked back up on
your family tree or pistol whipped to your knees.

I would sooooo hate fuck her. And given these reports, I'm sure she'd enjoy it.

I heard that Naomi stays young by using BPF aka Soul Soap on her entire body 3 times a day. In a pinch, MPF will do, but some people find it too spicy.

P.S. I also heard Naomi likes it in the butt. I can provide sources for this valid and true information on demand.

Man, Naomi is inches away from gettin' her butt KICKED! I hope somebody video tapes it too, so we can see the shocked look on her face...

http://www.blackbeatpress.com

19--okay, I'm retarded, what is BPF and MPF?

20 - Aren't you supposed to say you want to poop on her or something? Jeez.

well,I was going to write the story sounds bogus because I thought a passport was too durable to be torn up, but I just tried it and I was wrong. And here I am stuck in a cyber cafe in Beirut....

she can slap me with her blackberry anytime...or for that matter she slap me using her assistant as a bat, run me over and then make sweet sweet love to my corpse....mmmmmmm.....yeahhhh....

http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/

The chicks a Model, and has been a model for like 15 years. By definition that means that she has been hoovering coke up her nose after 15 years. 15 years of coke turns you into a paranoid freak. Combine that with the fact that she was probably an unmanageable bitch beforehand and you get a raging psychotic bitch. Best thing for her, would be to lock her up without hair and make-up for 6 months and then run in there with a camera and snap some shots of that acne ridden nappy toe up face of hers and publish them. I doubt she'd be in the next Armani show after that.

I'm suing this bitch on the grounds of physical and emotional distress, it hurts just to look at her...anyone else wanna join me

We should kill her.

As soon as one person steps forward, everybody else thinks it's time for their turn to sue!

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

sharkbite, your a dipshit, aren't you suppose to hate everyone...

In fact, I hate you

@11 LOL! Don't forget she rides on a black warhorse with flaming nostrils and red eyes, and The Ride of the Valkyries(sp?) blares overhead.

I've said it before, but it warrants repeating:

Any idiot who agrees to work for this human coca plant deserves what they get, because taking a job with her is like running across a busy highway and getting mad at me for hitting you with my car. That said, she can probably suck a basketball through a lugnut, because angry chicks give the best head and she has lips like a suckerfish...

Let me rework my formula for Uber Savage Model--1/3 Naomi, 1/3 Grace Jones and 1/3 Kimora Lee Simmons. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Oh yea, that 'Soul Soap' thing is freaking killing me... my concerned wife has called the psychiatrist asking why I keep bursting into spontaneous maniacal laughter.

i imagine her apartment to be like Starting Over

jrzmommy has already posted 4 times. You have really got to be fucking kidding me. I can't even make a quirky comment here, you just truly are a pitiful and in need of more attention than Terri Schiavo a week before she died. Please, for the love of Christ, stop posting so much. Or at least be funny when you post. You really get under the skin of 90% of the people here, they just don't want to say it and turn this into a cat fight. Please, relax the refresh button, and settle down.

Can't someone just cut her Achilles tendon or something? She'll be like one of those racehorses; if she can't do her little turn on the catwalk (yeah on the catwalk), then she's got nothing to live for anymore, and will have to be mercifully euthanized. The "merciful" part pertaining to the rest of the Mexican housekeeping population.

jrzdaddy has mastered cutting and pasting. Maybe his next trick will be losing at a game of chicken with a semi.

jrzmommy has mastered ruining a website visited by thousands of people everyday. You are worse than dick cancer.

Ya know, everyone, there's always gotta be the ONE...ya know, what I mean. Everyone is just kinda doing their thing on a lazy, kicked-back Friday, having a few laughs, getting psyched for the weekend and then suddenly.....some mouthy fuckin’ misfit comes out and casts his pall over everyone's good time. It’s his way of compensating for a miserable childhood—always getting picked last for the team, being the recipient of numerous titty twisters, the time when his parents tried to feed him to the dog. There's always one...

Asnswer me this (I'm sure most people want to know) and I'm trying not to be a dick about this- Why do you feel the need to post so frequently? I know people post multiple times throughout a 100+ topic, but why do you multiple post on every single topic? It's not like you post 3 or 4 times, it's like 17, 20, 25 times. I understand you don't have to answer to anyone, but I really am curious. I will leave you alone if you can provide a serious answer, I promise. I really am not trying to be rude, but you go overboard, and a lot of the times you actually contribute something funny, only to ruin it by posting 8 more times in the next 5 minutes.

I'm just waiting for her to get assistant who has 1/2 a brain and just bitch slaps her. I'd work for her just to kick her boney black ass out of London.

i know jrzmommy gets under my skin.

but only in a good way.

mommy, DON'T FEED THE TROLL. if we do it fucks up the entire day. and you're right, there's always one.

Who the fuck is Naomi Campbell?

@40 - really, does it bother you that much? i don't even take the time to read some of the comments, let alone care about who said what

JrzMommy only irritates me when she stops doing that thing with her tongue...otherwise she's the bees knees.

45--I had to stop for a minute, my jaw hurt. I'm better now.
Suddenly (one of) my stalker(s) turns into Alan Fucking Alda......no troll feeding...no troll feeding...no troll feeding

@40 Most people want to know when you will shut the fuck up. You are worse than bananas and MeganHarris.

@ 47 yes, but there is the rub. most of us believe they are all the same person. when we successfully quit feeding one personality, a whole new one pops up, with the same basic modus operandi.

PARTNERSHIP FOR A TROLL FREE EVIRONMENT
(PFATFE)

i heard naomi has her new 'help' sign some docier about how they couldnt sue her for any reason, not even if they ate her face. i wonder how many times she had to ride the baloney poney before her attornies agreed to that stupidness

I have some suggested reading material to help us better understand our troll's background, lifestyle, and personal habits:

http://www.aspenscandes.com/catalog/images/trol.JPG

You have the rest of the summer to read it. I will expect an "oral" report on your findings.

All trolls have to go work for Naomi for the rest of their lives AND sign a nondisclosure agreement and contract that says they can't sue.

Now stop counting posts and go back to picking on the psychotic human stick bug.

jrzmommy, lameassbananas was all over my ass for the longest time, and it looks like it gave up because I kept on ignoring it, even when it would blurt out things like, I'M SMARTER THAN YOU!!! QUIT OBSESSING OVER ME, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!! If you ignore it long enough, it will eventually move on to someone else.

@15- I agree.
What I can't understand is that none of these assistants have smacked her ass back.
I would have been like, What!, did you just hit me with your blackberry? Oh no you didn't bitch! I'm gonna strangle your narrow ass with your own hairweave. Then I would have proceeded to beat the unholy crappola out of her, called the popo, had her arrested, sued, and then lived happily ever after.

that cunt needs someone like the head of the salina fan club...

WTF is wrong with this lady?

Anyone who is shocked by this story hasn't meet very many ethiopian women...

(f'n nutjobs)

35. If it's true that Jrzmommy annoys 90% of the people on this site - it's only because you ARE 90% of the people on this site. Jeez, pick a name and stick with it. Or maybe try posting something relevant. "PFATFE forever"

These people are stupid to keep working for this coke-whore. They obviously only do it so they can sue her ass and/or sell their stories... It's not exactly undocumented that she has a short and irratic fuse.

I think I may have found the cause of jrzdaddy/lamebananas/Whipper/hotplateface/etc.'s rage against the rest of the world.

"You are worse than dick cancer."

So that's it? You had cancer in your dick, chemo/radiation shrivelled it up to the size of a dried out wad of gum, and your gay lover left you? If you had just come out and said so in the first place, we may have taken pity on you, and maybe we would've made you a pity friend.

Actually, scratch that, we would've just pointed and called you names.

Do you know what would be better # 54? Some black girl from the hood like Compton!! Even a bad look Naomoi would be running. It'd be like, "Oh no you didn't disrepsect me bitch." and then she should just get a bunch of her homies and beat the shit out of her.....of course, I'm a white girl living in the 'burbs, so WTF do i know?

personally, i agree with jrzdaddy....jrzmommy annoys the fuck out me because of the multitude of her incoherant and unfunny ramblings on each topic. i honestly don't know what the fuck shes talking about half the time.

my god woman, don't you have anything better to do like fellating your husband for a change? i mean, jesus, i think its the least you could do for the poor fella.

nobody cares, so the next time you think of a witty and funny thing to say, go hob your hubby's knob instead. thanks in advance.

What goes around sometimes comes around though! Surprised the assistant made it without a phone to the head.

http://www.exposay.com/naomi-campbell-leaves-shop-after-heated-argument-with-a-store-assistant/v/2576/

Dearest Jane,

God knows you can keep your two cents to yourself.

Heck, if I knew someone who needed two cents the most...

It'd be you.

Ok, I can understand if Naomi did one of those things and the assistant decided to sue. But why in god's name did the assistant stay long enough for all the other things to happen? After being victim to any one of those incidents, would you stick around even longer? What an ass face.

Are we sure "The Devil Wears Prada" wasn't based on this psycho?

The verdict is still out . . .

I would pay good money to see this temperamental fugly bitch box Madonna high on rabbies.

I used to wonder why some people choose to work in such substandard conditions but through the years have come to discover that there is usually always some one that will take the job, no matter how bad it is.

On the other hand, jobs are relative. I've known people with perks such as huge Park Avenue offices with multiple assistants and they still manage to complain nonstop about the terrible work conditions.

Etan
http://blog.Ateava.com

I love her shes like Justin Igger and alway will be!

@67 Face it, you're white you silly wankster.

@68 white like wayne brady bitch!

Does MeganNorris have to choke an Igger?

choke my dick bitch

@71 Where is it? Hold still while I fetch my magnifying glass and tweezers.

73rd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im sure those cunts are stealing from her.
I love Naomi Campbell. I wish I could go around beating people up.

I agree. If i were a aging mega rich lunatic it would be a prerequisite that my employees be able to take a punch.

guys guys where are the racist jokes? come on I thought you guys would have fun on this one...

she used to be a diva, but those days are gone sweetheart!! You soon will be hosting the openings of supermarkets everywhere you nasty loser, that is the only way for you to be in the news, by throwing things at the people who help you. Hope they take the last $20 you have. Bitch!!

I love this woman. She is the woman of my dreams. I want to hang out with her. I can already see myself making all kinds of excuses to the proctologist about why a blackberry is shoved up my ass and how I got it up that far.