Jul 24 2006Matthew McConaughey assaults the paparazzi

I'm not quite sure if he's trying to slide around on his stomach or not, but I would now like to try it myself.

http://www.VeryLiberating.com

Dang, that's the photographer I paid to take pictures of him. I guess this means I won't be getting them.

I've never wanted to be sand so bad in my life.

It's a fairly sad indicator of his popularity when Matt's shirtless trip to the beach warrants only one paparazzo, and Lindsay Lohan has 30 guys with cameras following her to Starbucks.

Sorry, Matt. Maybe you should get arrested again.

http://glossedover.com

If you don't want photos taken of you looking like a dweeb on the beach then go work out at home geez.

http://www.exposay.com

McConaughey 1
Paparazi 0

Wait - why do I think the douchbag is Mr. 17 Online himself?

This asshat jogs and works out on the beach pretty much daily with nothing but shorts on...and he expects no one to take pictures? Fuck that gay hippie. Actually, don't..who knows what he's got.

Since when can someone getted kicked off a beach? I thought beaches were public property. Mathew M. is dirty and a drunk.

He's completely spankworthy.

Imagine being a celebrity and going to a public beach and having some a-hole actually trying to take your picture to sell to the tabloids, the world has gone crazy.

ELEVEN.......with a manicure

...okay I had nothing to say....cos...the pictures pretty well speak for themselves...

McConaughey makes me vomit. He's a skanky weird looking gay mole creature.

Nice headband!

The guy smokes weed and plays bongos in his underwear, he gets a free pass to shove that telescope of a lense up that photog's gaping shithole.

IMHO

Maybe he was drunk... he looks like he's waiting for his chute to open. And Bruce Willis would have a least broken that guy's tooth, I mean come on!

Assault?! With those little T-Rex arms? Look at how he holds them back and to his side and everything! The first picture after the jump screams dinosaur to me, the sunglasses don't help.

In related news:
Matthew McConaughey falls on beach, makes love to paparazzo, gets stoned
The End.

Matthew McConaughey wanted to kill the guy not for taking pictures but for the
stench coming from the guy.....

Conversation between Paparazzi(P) and Matthew McConaughey (MM):

P: The sky is definitely blue today...can I ask you a quick question?
MM: OK, what is it?
P: Do farts have lumps?
MM: Well, no they don't
P: Then I definitely shit in my pants
MM: Get off my face before I kill U

See how he spins the photog around? Assume the position! Assume the position!

@18 Hysterical!

Is that his dog?

Woof

#4 -- Glossed Over -- there are at least 2 stalkerazzi following Matt on the beach here. Who do you think took the pics?

When you work out, whether you're a skanky hollywood star, a goofy superman wannabe, or a regular slug like you and me, you don't want a billion people watching you. That's what a guy with a camera is, a billion people. I woulda shoved him too. Hard. And in the throat.

Does that bandana make him a blood or a crip?

Mmmm Mmmm Good! Matt can exercise for me anytime! Hotness that he is...

Photographer Guy must have been gay to risk his ass for pics of Matt getting sweaty. Probably why he got pushed...

Special Thank You to Gay Photographer Guy for giving me material to think of while using my DongMaster 3000 later! :)

Matthew, you are not that cool. Most of us do not care about seeing you jogging shirtless on a beach. I know I don't!

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

I don't break dance often, but if I'm gonna bust out the centipede, I'm gonna do it on the beach. (Check out the first pic) And check out the ass on the chick to the left. I think she's fingering herself, and I like it.

In picture #5, I thought the photographer was a woman, what with those capri pants and wide-brimmed hat. I think Matthew is trying to give him a massage in that last pic -- gay love on the beach!

He clearly forgot to take his Slip'n'slide to the beach, a mistake that cost him dearly (as evidenced by the first pic).

No, no, he isn't pretending to be superman on the beach, he has just used his Beadazzle Anal Toy all wrong-

http://www.holisticwisdom.com/anal-sex-toys.htm

Why is he trying to force anal on the guy?

@24...Crip, definitely, heard he used to roll with G-Dawg outta Fulton Street down by the pier. Ran butter for a while, for Megan Harris.

Uh, this is fake, or staged, or something.

He's "attacking" (if you can call it that) the guy who is *not* taking the pictures. There are at least two photographers on the beach: the guy in the pictures and the guy taking the pictures.

If those photos are chronological, MM jogs past the guy who is actually taking pictures and then runs towards the other guy.

Dear God he is HOT! That photographer doesn't look all that concerned though.

MMMMMMMatthew!

Why do people care about Wooderson from Dazed & Confused? That is the one & only good movie this queer has ever done and he's just kind of goofy looking. Who gives a shit - he should behappy anyone wants to still take his pictures.

And by the way, he's fucking Lance Armstrong now so he needn't so damn uptight in the poopshoot.

woody harrelson called. he wants his career back. and his weed.

I'm tired of this guy working out in public, in parks or on the beach. You're a star, get a membership already. Look at me! I'm doing push-ups on the sand! I'm jogging along the shoreline! I use jungle jims to do chin-ups! Please. And is anyone else skeeved over the "queer" friendship he's struck up with Gyllenhomo and Lance Armstrong? Matt and Jake are supposedly two of the most obviously closeted guys outside of Suri's "daddy", and all of a sudden Lance dumps Sheryl Crow and starts hanging with those two dudes? Friggin' 'mos.

The third picture down just proves he's a turd fisherman and probably good at it..........

THis guy is so.....weird.
I really dont understand the fuss over him.

What is going on with celebrity's lashing out lately?

We've been over this, if you are going to be a celebrity, then you have to handle the constant picture taking. You get what you ask for.

Those of us who aren't celebrities need to see you acting out, getting wasted, wearing bikini's, changing your hair color, walking around barefoot, etc. so we have something to make fun of.

Celebrity's are OUR punching bags, *jab* take that fuckers!

Tonight on Fox: "When Celebrities Attack 3"

I'm glad he pushed him. Or punched him. Or ate him. Whatever he did. I didn't quite read the whole story because I was too busy drooling and trying to keep my mouth closed and wanting to be that sand that's on his back and..........

Ummm....YUM! He's hot, I don't care what the hell he was doing. He could have been giving himself the rusty trombone for all I care, he's still f'ing hot.

Poorman's Owen Wilson.

McConaughey is BUFF... I want to lick his Arnie-like pec's... I want to see McConaughey kick all scum-fuck paparazzi's asses... I want Lindsey Hohan to service me daily... I want to be Superman...

If fishes were wishes, we'd all have a fry...

... and I’d be Superman.

... Oh yeah, and I also want to be McCONAUGHEY ...

Pic #4: Guess who the submissive is? Fido is gonna have his way with him.

In the first pic, he's doing a skydiving arch. That is pretty picture-perfect of an arch, actually. He's done skydiving in the past, so he's either practicing for a movie or just refreshing for a personal jump...

that's a workout move. it makes for killer abs. especially if you wiggle your arms and legs around.

The first thing that ran through my mind when I saw the first pic of him was, 'Why is he doing the worm on the beach?'

Matt wears that headband to hide his circumcision scar.

Finally, an appealing looking man on the Superficial, Halle-fucking-luia!

Has he received a severe burn to his back, or is that a tattoo? Generally, one must join a band or spend several years in prison to have that much body art.

I'd let him melt my innards!!! Yummy, lip-smackin'!!

He got his shots and his lawyer's got them too.

LOL.

what a bitch...i wish someone would just kick his ass