Jul 5 2006Lil' Kim back on the streets
Lil' Kim was released from prison on Monday after serving 10 months for lying in court about a radio station shootout. She's set to remain under house arrest for another 30 days and will be on supervised probation for the next three years. And then after that I guess she can go back to doing whatever it is she does. Which, if she's anything like me, means dressing up like a ninja and karate kicking people in the neck for refusing to acknowledge that Chuck Norris is their God.
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Reader Comments
1. ae1986 - July 5, 2006 10:02 AM
lets see how long she stays out of trouble...i give her 2 days
2. SpecialAgentWind - July 5, 2006 10:07 AM
Little Kim is soo old hat, doubtful she could get arrested again.
3. sweetcheeks - July 5, 2006 10:08 AM
I didn't know you could get fatter in prison. Kim there has a unique gift.
4. liquidflame - July 5, 2006 10:10 AM
It's her only gift...
5. Italian Stallion - July 5, 2006 10:12 AM
That bitch needs to change her name to Big Kim because Lil' Kim is just false advertisement................
6. conceitedhipster - July 5, 2006 10:13 AM
A Chuck Norris joke? Really? That's so tired.
7. DonLes91 - July 5, 2006 10:14 AM
It's Lil Kim cause she's about 3' 7" tall.
8. Grobpilot - July 5, 2006 10:16 AM
That twat is so unforgettable, I didn't know she's been in the slam all this time.
9. RichPort - July 5, 2006 10:19 AM
Apparently there's no liposuction in jail. This stupid beeotch already looks like that cat lady, and she's not even 35 yet. What a nasty joke of a woman. If I worked at Hot 97 I would invite her over immediately and have a sniper waiting for her with a paintball rifle, just to see if she can actually show any expression of horror on that plastic mask of a face.
10. Dr.Rokter - July 5, 2006 10:25 AM
"Going to Jail" is the new "Checking into the Betty Ford Clinic".
11. DonLes91 - July 5, 2006 10:28 AM
I was thinking:
They take a day off for good behavior, which is why she's out in 10 months instead of 12. If she was good every day like Mike Tyson was, she should've gotten out in 6 months.
I guess she kept stealing the other inmates food which would explain the puffieness in those cheeks.
12. tinyTy - July 5, 2006 10:34 AM
I need smutty news. Or at least news with slutty people. Criminals aren't my thing.
13. PapaHotNuts - July 5, 2006 10:36 AM
I see Chris Tucker in the background, but I don't see Jackie Chan. Wait a minute, Lil Kim probably ate him. If she did, she'll be hungry again in an hour, because eating Asian people only fills you up for a little while.
14. Zanna - July 5, 2006 10:44 AM
Sweetcheeks...
Is it the prison food that did it to her or is eating pussy fattening?
15. Rossarooni - July 5, 2006 10:46 AM
Who knew that jailhouse 'lovin would have so many calories?
16. jFp - July 5, 2006 10:51 AM
well....she has street cred now. That was probably just what her career needed. Now that she's out she can do some drugs and lose that fat ass while she cuts a jailhouse record.
17. sharkbite - July 5, 2006 11:05 AM
Yay, I'm glad she's out. She served her time, when it seems a lot of celebrities manage to finagle their way out of their jail sentences.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
18. jane's eyre - July 5, 2006 11:06 AM
Whew, that's a relief, I was getting kind of tired NOT seeing celebrities wearing pasties to award ceremonies. It qualifies as clothing as long as your girly parts aren't showing all the way.
19. Monkey - July 5, 2006 11:10 AM
Wow. Somebody strapped on the feedbag and pulled the ripcord.
20. sometimesboy - July 5, 2006 11:24 AM
mmm...prison food must be tasty...
21. DancingQueen - July 5, 2006 11:42 AM
I'd just like to know how she got her nails did in prison.
22. Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest - July 5, 2006 12:05 PM
Hey #17
WHITE people finagle out of thier sentences.
23. Quiggie - July 5, 2006 12:08 PM
Spunkbubble,
That's what I'm talking about. HOW DO you get your nails down in prison. I think that bothered me more than anything. I'm too through with that.
24. UNWASHEDMASSES - July 5, 2006 12:30 PM
What correctional facility was she at? Pillsbury State? Mrs. Butterworth's Home for Wayward Girls? Taco Bell Penitentiary? She better not bitch about the food. Probably stopped for KFC on the way home. Lil' Kim... should change her name to Lil' Fat.
25. jane's eyre - July 5, 2006 12:30 PM
"Lil' Kim. She's phat! Phat with a "P-H", not fat..."
No, now she's just F-A-T.
26. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh - July 5, 2006 12:31 PM
Did anyone see "Countdown to Lockdown" on BET? Yeah, me neither.
27. Jaa - July 5, 2006 12:32 PM
Hey 22
OJ Simpson
28. tits_on_snack - July 5, 2006 12:49 PM
Whoa. I actually looked around the picture to see where Lil Kim was, until I realized that was her.
Also can I say I hate the word "Lil"? Whoa I just remembered that comic strip "Lil Jinx" - haven't thought of that bitch in a long time.
29. justme - July 5, 2006 12:49 PM
She'll be a hero in the black community.
Lowlife thug who acts like a criminal even though she's had it easy.. Heaven forbid she gets punished for breaking the law.
30. jrzmommy - July 5, 2006 12:53 PM
where are her pasties?
31. pf - July 5, 2006 12:54 PM
I wonder did all of ya'll make all these little smart ass comments about Martha Stewart! They did the same damn thing!
hey #29 justme.......does that make Martha Stewart a hero for the cracker community?
32. jane's eyre - July 5, 2006 1:13 PM
@31
No, we made fun of Martha even more.
33. pf - July 5, 2006 1:23 PM
i hear you jane. but i don't see saying that, "she'll be a hero for the black community" is fun nor funny!
to many of you on here see race as a joke and that is sad to me and shows just how much different we all grew up!
34. jrzmommy - July 5, 2006 1:46 PM
The guy to her left looks REALLY nervous, as if he's thinking...."JESUS CHRIST! Okay, okay.....breathe......just smile and wave........we'll call Janet and get dieting tips as soon as we get home.....it'll be okay......God, don't let her eat me."
35. jrzmommy - July 5, 2006 1:47 PM
..sorry, guy on THE left, not HER left.
36. Dimple2082 - July 5, 2006 1:48 PM
Go #33, many comments about various stories sometimes lead me to believe that we're all regressing rather than progressing with all this stereotyping,m prejudgment and use of ethnicity as a basis for humor.
On another note, I don't think she got her "nails did" in jail someone probablt mailed her some Lee Press On's under the guise of a cake. And I like the double chin and the weight gain, just means she's less likely to put stickers on her nipples.
37. jane's eyre - July 5, 2006 2:12 PM
@36
While any other normal person with any shred of self-respect and decorum would dress appropriately after gaining weight, this is Lil' Kim we're talking about here. May I refer to to Exhibits A-Z: (excluding the first picture, she wasn't feeling like herself that day)
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/lil_kim/index.html
38. jane's eyre - July 5, 2006 2:14 PM
As they so eloquently stated at the bottom of the page:
The thing I like best about Lil' Kim is her delicate grasp of decorum and modesty.
39. jrzmommy - July 5, 2006 2:16 PM
remember when Lil Kim was that sweet little tough kid from around the way?
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/005065.html
40. jane's eyre - July 5, 2006 2:34 PM
@39
I think that's where that British whore Jordan or whatever her name is got that "belt as a top" look. Or maybe that sort of improvised fashion savvy comes naturally to all skanks.
P.S.
That would suck to wear in the sun--it would get hot and start baking your nips. Yikes!
41. Vas Deferens - July 5, 2006 2:37 PM
Your butt is wide, well mine is too.
Just watch your mouth, or I'll sit on you.
The word is out, better treat me right,
Cause I'm the king of cellulite.
Ham on ham on ham on whole wheat, all right.
My zippers bust, my buckles break.
I'm too much man for you to take.
The pavement cracks when I fall down.
I've got more chins than Chinatown.
Well I've never used a phone booth,
And I've never seen my toes.
When I'm goin' to the movies
I take up seven rows.
Because I'm fat, I'm fat--come on.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--come on you know.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
Don'tcha call me pudgy, portly or stout.
Just tell me once again: Who's fat?
42. Brak - July 5, 2006 3:23 PM
Whoa-HO!!!
Where was she incarcerated? The Prison of Cream and Dainty Cakes?
43. Spindoc - July 5, 2006 3:57 PM
#22,
Yeah, Hally Berry didn't finagle out of HER sentance? O.J. etc... Please, celebrities operate under a different system, stop trying to sound like a college freshman.
44. Hara - July 5, 2006 3:57 PM
What the FREAK?! This is so unsettling. You'd think sitting on her butt all day in a 3 by 5 cell with nothing to do but think about her life and eat would help her LOSE weither. Lil Kim you are STUPID ma'am. Just plain stupid. Don't you know people have to Look at your fat? ... in jail... where no one can see you?
Call me crazy but I'm pretty sure spending 10 months in prison is about the Only acceptable reason for Gaining so much weight as a celebrity. Not having kids because we've seen that done right (thanks gweneth paltrow and heidi klum). But screw it, if I was locked up with no chance for fun and every incentive NOT to look hot (That's right Big Mamma Joe, I'm talking about you) I'm pretty sure I'd try to add as much bulk to my body as possible.
OR! Maybe she was getting a lot of baked goods mailed to her and wanted to make sure she wasn't missing any important weapons. i dunno. Either way I think porking it up was a good choice.
45. Hara - July 5, 2006 3:59 PM
oh. I forgot
I SUPPORT YOU KIM! F*** the man! FIGHT THE POWER! KEEP it REAL! Just please, Dear GOD dont turn into a rapping Monique. I'm pretty sure that would give me legal license to kill you.
46. endometriorama - July 5, 2006 4:26 PM
i still think she looks pretty.
47. Lettusaurus - July 5, 2006 5:25 PM
She turned into Queen Latifa
48. Bogart - July 5, 2006 7:24 PM
it looks like she got in a fight with an ugly stick while in jail.
49. Nikk The Templar - July 5, 2006 7:25 PM
Woooo...
She got all puffy just like ODB did when he got out of jail.
Must have been all that prison food.
50. Tits_McGhee - July 5, 2006 8:34 PM
Wait a sec, so Lil' Kim was in jail for LYING?! Hmmm...I was under the assuption they threw her in the big house for extremely bad taste.
51. bunnyhugger - July 5, 2006 9:13 PM
Vas Deferens--
hee-hee! weird al!
any points for that?
aw, shit, did i just blow any hope of semi-coolness???
52. BadGoat - July 5, 2006 10:12 PM
Did the reporters ask her what it was like getting fat in prison?
53. Spacedog - July 5, 2006 11:31 PM
Spunkbubble, did you hear about that producer that got busted in Dubai for 1.26g of coke?
Just walked.
Dunno if its a race issue or not, I'd probably have my gonads sliced off if that were me.
54. diamondprynzez - July 6, 2006 1:05 AM
I think you mean she ate Queen Latifah.
55. fijian - July 6, 2006 2:26 AM
Wow, she's fat...
Can't say they don't feed you in prison.
56. CancerNipples - July 6, 2006 5:09 PM
She's like a fat black "cosmetic surgery cat lady" and no I don't care if someone has noted that already...you really think I read you faggots' posts before I say what I'm thinking? Dream on.
57. Search-Engines-Web - July 6, 2006 11:47 PM
What is the purpose of the supervised probation, a waste of Taxpayers money.
What supervision does someone need who lied on trial.
It is not like you are dealing with a violent crime, or drug abuse
58. Digypoke - July 7, 2006 5:59 PM
She profited well in prison, she at least took 4 size, amazing !