Jul 19 2006Kevin Smith is my hero of the day

What a fat tub of goo.

told you.

I fucking can't WAIT for Clerks II. Fuck Joel Siegel and his tighty-whiteys. That guy wouldn't know fun if it slapped him in the face. Wait, he wouldn't even know a hot cunt if it slapped him in the face.

That's the most "bleeps" I've ever seen in one paragraph.

so basically Joel Siegel is now going to be treated like Megan Harris by all the Clerks fans, Kevin Smith fans, Jay and Silent Bob fans. poor fucker. should have just kept his pie hole shut.

Good for him.

Good for him.

I love when people act like assholes and you can insult them with stuff that they said themselves. Like Edna and Sherry.

Hahahahaha snoooogens, seriously, film critics don't come in a gayer flavor than Joel Seigel (except maybe Roeper)so fuck him up his stupid ass.

Kevin could stand to lose a little weight though.

dont forget O&A fans

rock on kevin smith, rock on

Kevin Smith pwns Joel Siegel - priceless. What a bag of douche Siegel is. Smith is right - you don't break the cardinal rule of movie-going and ruin it for everyone else. What an assclown. Good thing I never listen to Siegel's reviews anyway, and now I know they're invalid because he doesn't even give the entire movie a fair chance.

I don't listen to reviews, if I want to see a movie I'm gonna watch it. I don't defer to some crotchty old fuck to tell me what's what. I honestly expect that, for the most part, our opinions would be polar opposites. If he spends any more time on it though, he's a douche. Say your piece and keep your fat ass moving.

Siegel got little uncomfortable talking about fucking donkeys....he felt like everyone knew his secret and got paranoid and hauled ass out of the theater.

This might be interesting if I was both an idiot and a homo faggot.

However I am neither. Weird.

#14, I agree with you but I also think
Kevin's hungry, and has been dissed by one of the most paranoid movie reviewers, of course he is going to be cranky!

I'm not sure what's worse, having a queerby like Joel Siegel walk out of your film, or actually responding to it. I think fatboy is a bit touchy after his last few films have been little more than tax write-offs.

he looks like cartman ordering a bag of cheesy-poofs

>>"This might be interesting if I was both an idiot and a homo faggot.

However I am neither. Weird."

That *is* weird, because after reading your posts I thought for sure you were an idiot, homo faggot.

Where can I get hair like that? It looks all soft n' fuzzy like those little naked trolls' hair.

I think Kevin and Joel should kiss and fuck up.

What did the critic think he was doing? Even at the Cannes Film Festival where films get booed critics, if they don't want to stay, quietly get up and leave....what a dick to make a big grand exit.

Eh, whatever. Kevin needs to get over it and accept donkey shows aren't that great of comedy. Get some better ideas.

I can not believe that somehow I feel like I want to see Clerks 2 now.

What happened when Kevin Smith started criticizing critics? His movie got cool.

Still, I side with him. Why? Because I'll probably never be able to forget the line "A halibut good time."

I just hope Kevin Smith isn't trying to reach the obnoxious 14 year olds with this movie.

Kevin Smith is one of the crudest film makers around and it is his over the top scenes and intelligent film making that I love so much about him. Anyone who sees a Kevin Smith movie knows they are going to be presented with crude humor at some point and often times throughout the entire film. He does this to make a point, to stir up discussion and controversy and to press the buttons of overly conservative types that take themselves too seriously. Someone who goes to one of his films not expecting this is clearly not a very bright film critic. By the way, I can’t think of a more stupid and worthless job than that of a film critic. Movies are works of art they are subjective. You can’t possibly think that a film critic’s opinion of a movie is somehow superior to your own opinion or will be what you will think about it. Unlike the “sheeple” that read these reviews and go to movies based on them… I determine for myself whether or not I appreciate a film. I also have the common courtesy of understanding that even if I do not like a film, that it is completely inappropriate to loudly make a scene during it. It is not hurting Kevin Smith to have Joel Siegel do that… Kevin likes controversy and making people reflect about a variety of topics… it is his trademark. It is however disrespectful to the innocent movie goers to interrupt their movie and this is why Joel Siegel needs to understand that God does not like such outbursts, it makes her downright angry.

Kevin Smith is a hack, and so is Joel Siegel.

Joel Siegel is a boring schmaltzy film critic.

Kevin Smith is a self-important pretentious git who makes really, really crappy movies.

They should just get married.

I saw a picture of Mr. Molestache and he looks pertty old. Maybe he just wanted to make a big splash so that everyone would know that he's not dead.

Wow! a film critic walked out of Clerks II because of a vulgar joke??? WTF was he expecting? it's CLERKS II for christs sake!
Welcome to redicule for the rest of your life, Joel Siegel. what a dumba$$. Never underestimate legions of fanboys.

I won't try to sell Smith to anyone, you either love his work or you don't. I enjoy it immensely. Anyway, Kevin and Joel went at it on Opie and Anthony, predictably, Joel came out looking like the douchebag he is. Here's a link

http://www.viewaskew.com/kevin/joelsiegel.mp3

You know if Kevin Smith had said that about Roger Ebert, there would be a fat man war.

It'd be like a cross between a bad Godzilla movie and sumo wrestling on speed.

I think Kevin Smith threw a big hissy fit that made him look ridiculous. For someone who claims to hate Joel Seigel so much, he sure seems to have spent a lot of time reading his movie reviews. My gosh, he's even memorized the titles of some of them.

And Joel Seigel is a pompous hack with a vastly inflated sense of his own skills as a writer. ''Yo ho ho and a bottle of fun," indeed.

I think they're both idiots.

Did you guys know Jesus was a jew?

i love it when you can
destroy a ficticious
[or maybe facticious]
character
by
telling
exactly
the truth

eat that suckers : )

lovin it

32. No need to memorize, he probably just went to Siegel's site :

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/JoelSiegel/

33. Technically, so is my schlong.

#24 cocaine's a helluva drug

...ain't it : )))

oh sorry...

i thoiught you said

a helluva good line... :)

Damn, Herbiefrog, that the Stanford Prison Experiment wasn't ethical.

I heard one of the after affects was "...incoherent babbling to avail..."

Damn, Herbiefrog, that the Stanford Prison Experiment wasn't ethical.

I heard one of the after affects was "...incoherent babbling to no avail..."

Complain about Joel Siegel here: http://abc.go.com/site/contactus.html?cat=Good%20Morning%20America

I said it twice because it was really important.

so the characters in Clerks were talking about paying Lohan to fuck a donkey? Maybe Siegel is just an animal lover...

I hate it when 2 Queens get their feathers (boa) ruffled up.

p.s. Smith isn't as great as he thinks he is. He closed the book on Jay&Silent Bob until his last 2 movies bombed then thought better of it ($$). He needs to get his head out of jays ass.

I often wondered who the fuck goes to those stupid, insipid movies like Clerk I/II/III, etc. I guess I got my question answered by reading some of these comments. Joel and Kevin are a pair of fucking idiots as is everyone who thinks either one of them is relevent to the movie industry.

Also encourage MGM to ban Joel Siegel from future screenings: http://www.mgm.com/help.do

I'd rather be a porn film critic and get invitations to the AVN awards in vegas

and oh yeah JSLTC...

LMAO . That was pretty funny. Kevin Smith has a couple of good flicks to his name but he has put out some stinkers as well( mall rats, Jersey girl) but I really liked Clerks. But by going by his track record Clerks II will probably suck.

Oh yeah, lose some weight fat boy before you have a heart attack humping your wife. Now that would be a shame.

Clerks 2 probably sucks, but so what? Has Joel Siegel never seen a Kevin Smith movie? Damn, anybody who's seen the promos knows there's a reference to donkey sex. Where has Siegel been the last month? Or the last 20-30 years? What a tard, but then, I knew that. I'd rather watch donkey-human sex than a review by him, the guy who isn't Roger Ebert on Ebert's show or Gene Shalit. If you can't review a movie without making a pun, you should quit and spend the rest of your life feeding pigeons in the park.

heh 'Halibut of a good time'...

Kevin Smith used to be a funny guy... but still?

Considering this is the first time that he's walked out of a movie in, what, 30 years - I guess he didn't screen Jersey Girl?

The thing is, Kevin, if you've ever seen or heard any of his interviews or Q&A's is the first to admit he's not that great. So call him fat(he's a lard ass), call him foul-mothed or whatever but don't call him a self aggrandizer 'cause he's not. And boy knows how to write dialogue.

He is however, very open to his fans which is something that you can't say about 99% of filmakers.

When I go see a Kevin Smith I know exactly what I'm getting.

*sound of xylophone*

BREAKING NEWS!

This just in-- Joel Siegel, a man who's paid to give his opinions of movies, has just aired one during a screening of Clerks II. He may have even walked out of it! No word yet on the cause of this rash behavior from a movie critic; however, we WILL keep you posted!

My new hero, I'm going for sure. Halibut good time>

http://ultra8201.blogspot.com

Sequels, like men with numbers behind their names (II, III, IV), are never as good as the original. And the bigger the number, the smaller the penis. Just sayin...

I never understood the appeal of Kevin Smith movies. Then again I'm not a stoner, and my IQ is over 60.

Lets just say all parties involved are "fruit salad heads" and leave it at that.

Joel Siegel on Passion of the Christ, "Gibson nails it, absolutely NAILS IT!!!"

I love Kevin Smith but reaaaaallllly....for someone who doesn't care about Joel's opinion sure is getting mighty pissed off.

#54 - Yeah, there's certainly nothing in them to wave your rainbow pride flag about. Best to keep to your usual - chick flicks.

Well, I hate to be the voice of reality here, but Kevin Smith movies suck ass. He's a lame director, it is true he relies on the lowest common denominator even stay in the business. I had the unfortunate experience of having a gf who tried to convert me to a smith-lover and I was subjected to all his crap. It sucks, period. Its badly written, badly photographed and staged, and the acting is pretty suckass as well.

Sorry if that upsets any smithlovers.

I'm just laughing my ass off at #26's remark:

"It is however disrespectful to the innocent movie goers to interrupt their movie."

Er, if they were innocent before the movie, they certainly won't be after witnessing the donkey scene.

So I listened to the Opie and Anthony interview, and you can tell by listening to him that he specializes in dialogue writing, he's fast and witty, okay, that's cool. But I got about maybe halfway through the clip and I began wondering if Kevin has ever heard of the phrase ***Beating a Dead Horse.*** He made his point to Joel and the world....and then proceeded to keep making it, over and over and over and over and over. It's like, okay, SHUT UP already. My god. What was it exactly that he was looking for from Joel anyway? Joel acknowledged his points...yet he kept throwing his hissy fit. It's not even about the fact that Joel Siegel was "rude and unprofessional" as he reiterates over and over and over....it was the fact that somebody so prolific walked out of his movie. Period. That's it. If Joel walked out of somebody else's movie he wouldn't give a rat's ass. Kevin Smith was funny in the first clip that was posted here where he's talking to those college students, but in the second he just comes across like a child throwing a temper tantrum. It's all ego wank.

Dialogue like that is why I still haven't and won't see clerks 1 or 2.

# 60 Innocent- meaning undeserving of having to be disturbed during the movie, not naive... silly one.

Does anyone every actually listen to critics anyway? THeir usually full of shit anyway.

Someone needs to jerk off in these guys' LIBTURD SALADS!!

# 61- I listened to the radio interview as well and while he is repetitive, it seems Kevin Smith is simply trying to force Joel Siegel to admit that what he did was unprofessional. In interviews, repetitive questioning sometimes makes one finally break down and admit their mistake. While Joel Siegel apologized, he claimed that it was not unprofessional of him. Kevin Smith was clearly in awe that he kept sticking to that line of thinking. It did not seem as much ego as much as it was simply trying to force the point, which was that as a professional movie critic it is NOT professional to stand up and yell out your damning review as you leave in the middle of the movie, it is customary to write it…

The funny thing is how those who don't like Smith need to keep repeating over and over how much he sucks.

Doode, whatever, he doesn't need your business.

One other thing to add to my #61......Kevin acts like a movie theater is a sacred place or something and for Joel to get up and yell that he's walking out is an atrocity. Hello.....has he *been* to a theater recently? Cell phones ringing, people talking and laughing, kids crying. Come on now. I had to throw my wadded up napkin at somebody's head during "Matrix Reloaded" when they proceeded to laugh through the entire Architect speech. I mean, that's what it is to go to the movies. So I don't know what theaters he goes to where everybody watches in silent reverence.

#65 - Keep your "special sauce" for your family gatherings. I know how much your sister loves it.

@63

I know what you MEANT, I was laughing at the context in which it was written, especially in view of the fact that there is a donkey scene in the movie. The way it was worded was amusing to me...ever heard of word play? God, why do I need to explain this?

Somewhere Jay and Silent Bob are smoking a joint, laughing at a duct-taped, hog tied, smothered in honey, Joel Siegel get eaten alive by fire ants. Either that or that bitch lied and it wasn't just weed in the pipe...

above...somebody mentioned distractions in theaters. I remember when I saw that Passions of the christ movie, some assholes kept praying in tongues during the whole crappy flick. (I don't know how I managed to keep masterbating)
Its no better at Smith's movie's...you keep hearing the crack of the pinch-hitters, not to mention all the coughing.
So fuck 'em. It's not like its "Gone with the Wind." (at least not on the screen)

I bet for all his whiny abusive talk, if they were put in a boxing ring, Siegal could make Smith cry like a baby and beg for mercy. What a loser. You got a bad review, boo hoo. Stop being so fuckin bitter about it.

#65- Why don't YOU do that, instead of asking someone else to?

Oh, that's right-- Neocons always get other people to do their dirty work for them, because they are too cowardly to do it themselves.

My bad!

that video link was awesome. i now love kevin smith!

not that I care either way, but I hate fag wars...get a room dammit!

Are you saying Gene Shalit and Joel Siegel are NOT the same person?

"Shark Tale" Is a Halibut Good Time.. HAHHAAHA

This is the first thing that Kevin Smith has written that I actually like.

I am loving that everyone is laughing at the halibut line. i think we came here wanting to say something cool but instead realized we are amused by "the scribblings of a retard." (thats from The Mighty Boosh.... not Kevin Smith.)

@ 49 - I love it!! Seriously, has Joel been watching movies that long? Who paid him to sit through The Mexican? The last time I walked out of a movie was Jay and Silent Bob Stike Back (nothing personal to them - but it made for a very awkward date with my baptist college guy.) Damn. All the good ones get married. Where's my vodka.

WHAT A BORING POST - BORING BORING

WHAT A BORING POST - BORING BORING

Boring Boring Boring

A conversation between Joel Siegel and Kevin Smith from a radio show earlier today.

http://www.viewaskew.com/kevin/joelsiegel.mp3

this was posted on Kevin Smith's blog on myspace. It's hilarious even if you aren't a Kevin Smith fan.

~eM~

How can you do this to us Mr. SuperFish dude, a lame story about an old fuck tryin to act like his still important to this world and a fat fuck film maker who produce movies based on his childhood fantasis.

Is it because of lambananas, whipper willow, kate&Tina, jrzdaddy and MeganHaris that irrated you so much and decided to post something lame

#61 and #66, I can't believe that anyone would admit to listening to Opie and Anthony, two tasteless posers. Howard rules! They suck. If anyone thinks that donkey sex is funny, then they deserve a one way ticket to Tijuana to enjoy the local entertainment. Kevin Smith is the same guy who thought a three nippled Priscilla Barnes is a laugh riot and heavily promoted his friend's clown rape movie.

kevin smith is fucking hilarious.

plus
hes my dad.

um

yeah, I notice it's mainly the "ladies" who take issue with Smith. While one may criticize his overuse of "bleeps", one cannot argue that he is the greatest independent film maker of all time. I would like to see you get as far. My guess is....not gonna happen. At least I have admitted it to myself. Come on, ladies. Say it.
To those who have already "panned" the movie, have you seen it? It hasn't come out yet. So shut up.
Yes, he could lose some weight. But he has a hot wife. So, he must be doing something right.
Anyway, if you would like to actually see one of his movies, I suggest "Chasing Amy". I think Clerks would be too rough on your feeble minds, and Amy is somewhat of a love story...one that takes you back to the day when you found out your man was taking a shot in the mouth from your father.
Snoogans.

haha I watched the video of him talking abt Superman! He has got to be the coolest chunky dude evah!!

Oh, my, God. Fuck all you naysayers. Fuck. Ok, YOU go ahead and even HOPE to get a career in film, THEN go ahead and, on record, say this shit about a film critic. Fuck off you pansies and go back to imagining you're kissing one of the Brokeback Mountain guys and whatever else you fantasize about in dreamland. Kevin Smith risks his entire career on his films and saying in, and out of, them what he pleases. Fuck off. When's the last time YOU went on public record and openly chastised someone for having a hypocritical, biased and probably Broke-Back-Loving point of view?!? Yeah, didn't think so. Fuck off, wankers. Here's a quarter, buy a clue. And go ahead and spend the other 20 cents on twice the education you already have. Viva le America.

And anyone who doesn't respect what this man said is a tool.

hey, 89, turd dude...
i AM one of the ladies, and i agree w/ you. and i can't help but notice all the newbie names on this thread (and a handful of long timers that i respect).
i love, love, LOVE kevin smith! i love silent bob! i got such a kick out of "dogma"! sure some of his movies are rude, crude and socially unacceptable, but, damn it, if i don't want to see it, i know where the off button is. watching "an evening with kevin smith", i just about SOM!!! i'm not saying he's the most brilliant of our time, but he's one funny man, who laughs at himself as well.
are there times when i have to leave the room? um, okay. once in a while. and occasionally a line goes over my head (usually my 25 yr old son can explain it to me) hollywood can't handle a rebellious film maker who won't kiss ass to get a movie made. some of his movies suck, but even those have a few shining moments.

oh, and commenting on this post, i don't care who you are. especially if you're being paid to watch movies, you don't throw a hissy fit in the middle of a viewing because you're offended. asshole had to know what he was getting into. the day kevin and company start pandering to these suckers is when i lose faith in him (kevin).
look at how the critics handled pirates 2---and disney is laughing all the way to the bank.
sorry to go on so long, but it's 3 am here, and i was looking for a distraction so i could go back to sleep.
thanks, bitches.

i am now donning flame resistant clothing.

you know what else?
i'd do either kevin or especially silent bob in a heart-beat!
and i'll take that libturd salad to go, please.

I can't believe no-one's mentioned the time Superfish posted about some story Kevin Smith told, so he sent his minions from Myspace over here to reprimand us. Chins wobbling in indignation, no doubt.

Kevin Smith is one of the rudest people I've ever met so it's funny he's calling someone else out about it. It's clear that Joel hurt Kevvy's feelings and that's why Kevin had to blog ten paragraphs about it.

#95- ROFLMAO!!

#93- Hard to respect any human being over the age of 12 with a MySpace page.

Besides, what's to respect over what Smith said? He sounds like a petulant child, and besides, he's blowing this whole thing out of proportion. Siegel trashes one movie at a limited venue with a few people; Smith trashes Siegel's entire career on the frigging internet for the whole world to see, then goes on every radio and TV show to whine about it and personally attack him. Yuh, like, rully, rully mature, d00d.

Smith's the tool. Either he's genuinely pissed off at Siegel-- in that case HE is the diva who can't take criticism-- or he's kicking up a fuss to generate buzz for his movie-- in that case he is a whore. Take your pick, lol...

DOGMA rocked, of course the first time I saw it I was stoned beyond believe, so maybe it just takes me back to a happy place.
Fuck Joel Siegel and all the other fag-ass reviewers, they all suck Tom Cruises cock.

The SF other hero is Marlon Brando, another bloated, over-rated land whale with more ego than talent.

LAME story SF guy.

of course the first time I saw it I was stoned beyond believe,

BELIEF - see it already made me happy and non-spelling right away.

Fuck you Siegel, bring on the donkey show.

I listened to his story about writing the Superman story.
I was hilarious.
He seems like a good story teller, I don't understand why he's not a good fimmaker.

Smith can go fuck himself, and that's probably the only sex he'd get, even though he's rich because he appeals to woman-hating, gay-bashing scum.

I don't like Siegel, but the question is, was he right to walk out on this hateful shit? Yes, he was.

Amazing how getting high makes some people mean and aggressive. These are the kinds of people who give stoners a bad name. And Kevin Smith's only talent is attracting praise from a bunch of goddamned losers.

@86 Tell me you're not praising Howard Stern in the same paragraph where you are pissing on bestiality.

That is some inconsistent bullshit right there.

#86 "#61 and #66, I can't believe that anyone would admit to listening to Opie and Anthony, two tasteless posers..."

I listened to it....**because a link was posted for it at the beginning of the comments.** Maybe you missed that. But it doesn't mean that "I listen" to Opie and Anthony. Jesus. So save your pro-Howard Stern rant.

#66: "# 61- I listened to the radio interview as well and while he is repetitive, it seems Kevin Smith is simply trying to force Joel Siegel to admit that what he did was unprofessional. "

That's just it though......He wants Joel to admit what he did was unprofessional...why? To appease Kevin's "inner ego child" who's throwing a hissy fit. He wants Joel to admit unprofessionalness, he wants an apology, then he wants Joel to admit unprofessionalism and apologize a few *more* times just for good measure.....he wants it aaallllllllllll! mmmwaahahahaha! I mean, come on. Seriosuly, get over it Kevin.

"...as a professional movie critic it is NOT professional to stand up and yell out your damning review as you leave in the middle of the movie, it is customary to write it…"

Maybe it is unprofessional, but it is kind of funny. :D Personally I think it's hilarious. And it's stupid that KS is throwing such a fit about it.

Kevin Smith is taking this WAY too seriously. We're talking about *Clerks II* here....not Schindler's List or something. Clerks II. Dialogue about sex with donkeys. Clerks....II. hm.

..........and not to start a flame war or incite riots from our fellow northeastern U.S. commentors, but as somebody who's lived in the northeast, where Kevin is from, and tangled with my fair share of people from NY and NJ, all I can say is, Kevin's response is very typical of the average guy from NY/NJ. They get all incensed about something and just keep going and going and going and going about it, full of self righteous indignation. Can't let it go. Can't move on with life. I'm surprised KS didn't threaten to sue. Because that's another favorite tactic of New Yorkers and Jersey-ites, always threatening to sue, always offended and incensed and riled up about some imagined indignity.

thank god for Adblock so every time I check The Superficial I don't have to look at that fat pig's fugly mug

I always thought Superman was Justin Igger but it turns out it was Clark Kent.

people complain that theres too many paris stories, people complain that theres too many lindsay stories. finally. FINALLY we get a story thats a bit different and bitches stil complain. i have a feeing your problem is with the superfish not the stories. so go to perezhilton.com

ps 89 i think i would have given that prize to quentin tarantino.

104.....105....AND 106-----

"They get all incensed about something and just keep going and going and going and going about it, full of self righteous indignation. Can't let it go. Can't move on with life"

...kinda like you just did in three seperate posts, right? With a name like Hee Haw, it's no fuckin' wonder why you didn't hit it off too well in the Northeast. What a jack-off!

#110: Oh the irony.

Why is this fat ugly guy on the Superficial? This subject belongs to geeky movie websites and not to a respectable gossip page. I refuse to discuss anything that is remotely related to culture. Bring back my Britney and my Pamela and My kev(fed).
Stop the madness, people!

@110...boy you said it :)

Let's wait and see how big a jack-off he is,
and there he goes.

@111..you don't know the meaning of irony bubba.

Who cares about people who doesn't get plastic surgery and doesn't live from limousine to limousine and doesn't use botox and doesn't use xanax.

Who are these people? Who are they? They are nobodies!

111--what's ironic? that you went on and on and on like the people that you criticized or that i'm from new jersey and I think you're a smacked-ass?

While I think some of Smith's movies are funny in an immature-teenager kinda way, I totally think he's acting like a little bitch on this one. Get over it man! So someone didn't like your movie. Big F-ING deal you wendy-whiner.

listen, theres nothing wrong with kevin smith defending his movie. and no i dont think he's beating it into the ground. i think he discussed it on his website and on O&A. obviously other people started talking about it and people automatically assume he's talking about it non stop.

critics have the ability to sway audiences, especially if they are not hardcore smith fans, so i think he was justified in defending himself against a critic so stupid and retarded that he'd walk out of a movie over a stupid joke.

Oh yeah, and Opie and Anthony suck and Howard rules!!!

Nothing as fancy as irony is being displayed, only hypocrisy with a slight touch of good ol'fashioned country dooshbaggery.

yeeeEEEH HAAAAA!

Hay thare Bar-bay-do Slee-im! Hare's summore of that dare arron-ee---HeeHaw cornholes donkeys on his farm!! That dare's sum arron-ee!! Yee Hah!!!

Fucking writing learning southpark watching popcorn eating morons!

Kev the prolonged adolesecent throwing a trantrum because someone called it like he saw it and Kev's ego got a little bee sting: fascinating Sf, brilliaaaant, wow, hawt *Y-a-a-a-a-a-w-n*

Get over it Kevin. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen (and get a zip code for that diva ego of yours, huh? ).

Whoever wrote this post is a fucking geeky freaky moron!
There are many more important new than this geek festival, I'm sure there is something going on with Britney Spears right now, if not, make it up!

Hyuck, hyuck you shour have a way with them fancee words dare J.M.

I don't think it was necessarily the fact that Joel Siegel disliked the movie/humor/content, I think Kevin Smith is pissed that the guy got up IN THE MIDDLE of the screening and stated a preview of his critique during the movie. He's right to think that Siegel was rude and to tell the as many people as he can that this big important movie critic acted like a complete asshole.

i'd only agree with a dumbass like 122 if it was merely a bad review. i find it hard to believe that nobody in here would defend themselves when not given a fair chance. seriously, which reviewer walks out of a movie?

id be pissed too if some pussy ass like joel siegel may affect the way my movie was seen to the public. you all just disagree so you can be "punk rock" about it and take the opposing view.

PS i'm not even a kevin smith fan.

Shucks, Bar-bay-do Slee-im, Ah lernt all them fancee words from HeeHaw schoolin'.

#26, HolisticWisdomcom

Please spare us the "Movies are art and you can't judge them because it is all subjective"

Movies are put there to entertain, just the same as a car without wheels is defective, the Movie "You Me and Dupree" is defective, as was Gigli, From Justin to Kelly, Swept Away, and anything with Tara Reid and Christian Slater together in it. Being "Judgemental" can be a good thing. i.e. I'm in a fast moving train, I see a door open, I make the "Judgement" not to lean out of that door and fall out. The same way that when I see that there is a movie with Dakota Fanning in it, I make the "Judgement" not to go so my stomache doesn't have to make the judgement to vomit when I see that saucer eyed moppet trying her best to act.

Just my 2 cents. Oh yeah, I would have been here earlier but Tom Cruise was giving me a rather mediocre blow job.

#91 JBYZC, Hey dork, in the REAL world hypocrits are called out all the time, it's only in the ass-kissing anus licking world of hollywood that this happening is a surprise, so while I like Keving Smith and am going to go see Clerks 2, please stop pretending that what he did is any different than some girl at a Dunkin Doughnuts telling the guy behind the counter to stop rolling his eyes at her.

Oh yeah, #72, fucking hilarious.

#126 Now you commenting on the person posting rather than the topic and the celeb who is the topic and that shit is just skank.

Quit whining and sniveling on behalf of Kevin Smith. He's doing quite enough of it on his own.

Ah wish you notherners would jes quit makin fun of cuntry folks, even if we is sometimes rather cunty.

I'll see this movie just because I thought the first one was pretty funny, I'm not going to the movies or anything, I'll just wait for it to come out on DVD or something. I think him flipping out is pretty funny shit and created a pretty funny thread. I read somewhere that at the snack counter the employee forgot to put butter on his popcorn and he went crazy and was screaming "Fuck this and Fuck that".

Luckily it was in a showing in Miami and MeganHarris showed up with some "butter" and saved the day.

Kevin Smith is actually quite good at public speaking and debating.

http://www.VeryLiberating.com

Osh, dear, we're not dissin ALL country folk--just the ones who call themselves HEE HAW and who bash us city folk.

The only butter MeganHarris be dealin with is some duck butter.

actually zena i was commenting on both. and i'm sorry but i had to go there because you sound like a stupid angst ridden tween trying to go against these here old foggies who are defending this fat old fart.

his rant was funny and this is a lot of hipocracy coming from people who bash celebrities all day long on a website. all kevin smith did was bash that fruit, and it was hilarious. theres no doubt in my mind any of you would have done the same.

Did he not watch the trailers that are all over the TV these days before he went to see the movie??? The fucking donkey scene is IN THE TRAILER!! If he knew he didn't like it, why even GO to the movie in the first place? He could have just wrote his review off the trailer.

i think his old stuff was hilarious. his new stuff - eh. and yes, i'm a chick.

oh and hee haw? i'm also from NYC, and have tangled with my own fair share of southerners. i thought your post was funny as hell - one asshole stereotype spewing another - dickface inbred hillbilly.

Southern girls give the best hand jobs. I guess because our arm and hand muscles are all strong from stirring grits and giving the old 'seig heil' to the burning crosses and stuff.

northern girls give the best blowjobs because, well, we all have bucket mouths!

I want to start off by saying that hand jobs are the lamest form of sexual activity in the world, and as a Southern girl, I speak on the entire south when I tell oshkoshb-goshdammgosh that you're fat and that's why a hand job is as far as guys will ever let you go.

Moving on...Siegel just sold more tickets to that movie than the 8 second standing ovation at Cannes.

All in all, I'd say this was a very entertaining thread. Thank you.

And there's a restaurant in San Diego called Just For the Halibut.

White people eat grits?

Next, you'll be telling me they go to KFC and eat watermelons.

Hi Jane!

#143, Jane's Eyre, I think there is a Hair Salon in Austin Texis called "Curl up and Dye" Loved that one.

147--STOP! Curl-Up and Dye? That's fucking hilarious!

Upon checking out Smith's website, I came across an interview Smith did with Tom Cruise. Here's an excerpt:

"Cruise has the power to make you feel like the sun is shining only on you during coversation... and if the constant mantra running through his mind is "I'm fucking Tom Cruise!" he never lets on"

Oh my F-ing God what a suck up brown noser Smith is! I think "I'm fucking Tom Cruise" is what HE wants to be saying! And you know what, from that comment, I have to say KSLTCC!!!!!!!!!

Hey, This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover, you take yourself way too seriously, like most cuntry girls. Ask anyone, I'm the biggest whore around here, baby, and hand jobs don't even make it into the realm of foreplay. Nope, I just line 'em up and let 'em drill. You know, gangbanging was originated in Louisiana, my home state, so before you go around boasting how much of a slut you are I suggest you take a page from the land of Britney Spears, where some of us may be fat, but at least we know how to take 17" of hard black circus dick. Do you?
By the way, your name indicates that you are old as well as fat. Please explain.

@149, that's real low, you gonna come and play the Tom Cruise card at this stage of the game?

You madam, are no better than Johnnie Cochran.

good day.

Hi jrzmommy! Curl up and Dye? Very creative. There's a salon nearby called Bushwackers, which I think is pretty funny.

@149
I hope he was being sarcastic.

if u think joel siegel's facial hair is bad - u should see his crotch....he makes me wish i had more pubes....

http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/

#153 I hope your a girl cause guys don't check out other guys crotch

153--Thanks, I just started to eat lunch and now I can have visions of Joel Siegel's crotch to whet my appetite!!!! Might as well join the bullimia club now!

Pubes work really great as floss.

hey jane,

looks like we missed all the fun earlier, dam west coast time

It's my DAY!

Jesus Christ! Just reading Eonline "Party Girl" column and just found out why Lindsay Lohan wears a whistle around her neck--she uses it to call for her boyfriend. Sware. It's a good story--about an ugly cat fight between LIndsay and Paris at a clambake.
http://www.eonline.com/Celebs/PartyGirl/Archive2006/060720.html

My goal is to post 100 x on this thread.

ponie, I'll comfort myself with the thought that I was still sleeping while the east coasters were at work! But damn, that means 5 pm comes sooner for them.

#149 - I wonder if they cuddled after the interview was done.

#141 - You're probably a lesbian and wouldn't know what to do with a penis if it smacked you in the face. Thanks for being loud and proud about what hand-job-giving prudes we are. For the record, I am a TOTAL slut.

160 and 158 were obviously not posted by me, but by some douchebag somehow signed in as me. Like I said the other day, everyone is just kinda hanging out and having some fun on a really boring story and some troll has to fuck with people. It's gotta just suck to walk around in the mood this jerk-off is in all the time. I wonder if they ever get tired from being on the defensive so much. What a miserable twat.

#159 jrzmommy...

It wasn't a REAL clambake, thats just what Paris calls it when her Herpes flares up.

great just what we need, a troll in disguise, as if it weren't ugly enough already

Nothin' cooler than hangin' out on a comment section on some low-grade website.

Bitchin'!

So I've been swamped all morning, I get on here and still this?

Jeez, do I have to perform sexual favors on a donkey to get a new story posted... c'mon.

This has been a really good thread up to now - I've enjoyed reading all the comments - its been good to see people with opinions other than just hohan's a slut, paris has herpes and brit's a bad mother (although i do enjoy reading those kind of posts too) but then the troll in disguise arrives and makes it all personal. and what's up with questioning Osh's sex life? - if #141 had signed on to any other thread before today they would know she's upfront and honest about where and when she gets/gives it. it's weird how many new people are new on this thread - i wonder if they have been sent over by the K-Smith gang?

Personally i think it's rude to walk out of a film screening if you are a reviewer and start giving your opinion but i only think KS cares cos it's his film. Some of his films i have enjoyed, (i loved Dogma) but i think some of his films do appeal to the 'cheech n chong - lets get stoned and watch it in a dorm room' crowd. they should maybe check up on MeganHarris - see if she's got any butter to share. she's in with the cool kids...

@167 You can perform sexual favors on a Stallion but I don't know if any new stories will pop up but I know something that will..................

@169: I've got my chaps, boots and riding crop...

Kevin Smith shouldn't even give this reviewer the time of day.

Let's be honest here, the crowd that is going to see Clerks II are going to see this movie regardless of reviews. Joel Seigel probably did him a favor by garning more publicity.

By the way, how many kids who are going to see this movie, and will make up 80% of the ticket sales, have even heard of Joel Siegel?

Regardless though, Joel Siegl acted wrong and deserves to give Kevin Smith an apology.

@170 I'll just correct your spelling for you

riding cock*

#152, shockingly that was a real quote. A real faggy quote from a 2004 interview Smith did w/the cock-loving one.

#136,
I haven't seen "tween" for 19 years and your analysis of my post reeks of the kind of stupidity created when otherwise moderately smart people think they and their favorite celebs are waaaay more clever and more important than they are. Which would be fine if it were funny but you're about as funny as a root canal.

175--root canals can be a blast with enough nitrous

Err, I like Kevin Smith and all.. but this just seems really lame. "Oh YEAH? Well I'm rubber you're glue whatever you say BOUNCES OFF OF ME AND STICKS TO YOU"...

Hey, it never bothers me if anyone questions my sex life! Matter of fact I'm so fucking fine even if I did weigh 350 pounds you know 200 of it would be in my tits and ass. Bring on the inquisition!
Like last night, for example, I was simultaneously giving head to a Puerto Rican pool boy who I borrowed from my neighbor while getting the old DVDA from four well-hung black men that had just escaped from prison, all while stirring a pot of grits and knitting a quilt out of old American flags I bought at the DVA. I doubt very much that 'rock n' roll comeback' could handle that, but I'm sure she knows her way around a bag of Doritos. It's okay, though. I'll still let her suck the syphillitic (sp?) jizz of four black men out of my stretched-out anus, as long as she promises to be gentle.

Kevin Smith (who USED TO BE a fucking indie genious) is now the epitome of an insufferable twat.

I LOVE the fact that he tried to sell out by making shitty movies like "Jersey Girl" and instead of cashing in, he pretty much lost the respect of most of his fan base. (Or we all just grew up and don't find fart/ass/gay/3-nip/gross out humor funny anymore. I don't know which, really??)

My point is, the fact that he's trying to "return" to his roots by making Clerks 2 (which wasn't even a great movie- HORRIBLE acting for one...) only shows how much he is a puppet in the industry and therefore not the "genious" I once thought him to be. Oh, and he deserves someone to tell him his movies suck now, even if it is a douche like Joel Siegel.

And for all you Howard Stern fans, you can refer to my post and instead of "Kevin Smith" you can insert "Howard Stern" and instead of "Jersey Girl" insert "Sirius" and you'll get an idea of how I feel about that sell out asshole too...

I actually met Triple A once Park West Diner in Jersey after a night of drinking... He came over to my table when my boyfriend went to the bathroom and tried to hit on me. When he saw how disgusted and uninterested I was with him, he tried to brag and act like, "don't you know who I am?" and showed me his Howard tattoo on his arm and his god-awful Triple A "bling" he wears. I proceeded to tell him to fuck off and that I don't care who he is and to get out of my boyfriend's seat... Then I loudly conversed with my friends about how Howard Stern isn't even funny.... I thought he and his "entourage" were going to jump us. They started SCREAMING at me, "Shut the Fuck UP!!" I laughed so hard I almost peed myself..... 100% TRUE STORY

i love it when that guy lashes out
he is definitely no "silent bob"

@176
Ha! Lamebananas used that line not too long ago.

Kevin Smith has always been freakin' cool. If he was going up in my neighborhood, he'd be the one white guy who was cool enough to hang with us!

Gene Shalit and ALL Critics are no-talent writer hacks! Instead of giving a REAL review that us regular folk can use, them come up with literary lame ways to insult it.

This is why critics aren't popular anymore! Not since Gene Siskel died...

http://www.blackbeatpress.com

@180 at least you went thru all those life changes and disappointments without becoming, you know, bitter or something.

And that's the important thing.

LOL I think that bitterness is a trait we all possess on this website from the look of our posts. I wear my bitterness as a badge of honor. :) Don't fuck with me, and have a nice day!

I think Superfish guy has decided to take the day off. What a dick. Next thing he'll post will be a superficial ketchup about more dull shit that he digs up from Page Six and perezhilton.com.

That made my nipples hard. That's hot.

Kevin Smith is fantastic.
Yeah, he has made some dogs ("Jersey Girl" and "Mallrats"), but "Chasing Amy" and "Clerks"...classics.
Hell, I like "Dogma" as well!
I remember seeing Clerks in the theatre. It was only playing at the Art Houses at the time and someone made me go. I went thinking, "Damn, I really have no interest in seeing some black and white, pretensious piece of shit," but I came out having laughed my ass off and since have seen everything he has ever done.
Someone posted a link to an excerpt from "An Evening with Kevin Smith" which is one of the most entertaining, funniest things I have ever viewed. Rent it when you get the chance and you'll not only have a great time (it really is THAT funny), but you will get to see the real man and the humble beginnings from which he came.

If fish doode doesn't get on to posting soon we
are gonna have a dry weekend. And we all know what that means: trolls, rotten fruit, fisticuffs, flamewars, hOm0sexuals, transvestites, po'onographey and herbiefrog.

I have a newfound respect for bunny hugger.
Anyone, especially a dude, who goes absolutely crazy over hearing gossip that Nicole Richie is too thin...well, there's a reason why you don't have a girlfriend. And, it isn't that your testicles haven't dropped yet. It's that you have ovaries.
I have not seen Jersey Girl. I have a feeling it would make me tear my hair out.
Anyway, go or don't go. I'm going tomorrow. And goddamn right, I will continue to feed that fucking genius puppet-master of the Jersey 6-Some until the day I die on the toilet, eating a ham sandwich.
Nooch.

#190
thanks, dude. wish i could go with you tomorrow.

i'd like to suggest to some of the folks sitting on the fence,(with their thumbs up their asses) check out "an evening with kevin smith" on dvd.
the posted clip came from that dvd. his story about (sorry, i have to use quotes, i hate the purple one) "prince" is beyond hysterical!!

the man is smart, honest, funny, and kinda cute.
so, praise the lord and pass the ham!
p.s. i still would SO do silent bob.
i like 'em short, chubby and bearded.
oh, dear, turd, did i just lose your respect?
:)

Everyone here in Jersey had a conference call and we decided next time we see Siegal's gay-ass face here we're going to club him to death with rebar.

I think I'll go with about 2 1/2 feet of #8 rebar. One inch in diameter, about 2.5 lbs a foot and it's got just a slight whip to it when you're knee capping a punk like Siegal.

Smith might be kind of fat, err lets face it the dudes a pig, but he's our pig.

And TCL'dTC when he lived here while he was flunking out of High School. Stupid douche bag.

192
get in a couple of hits for me and my son, 'kay?

as a matter of fact, can we just do this for ALL the "critics"? i'd donate.

Help me, Jebus...

I'm a chick and I like the Kevin Smith movies I've seen. I don't worship him as a god, but he seems to take more care with his movies than most filmmakers do. When I said Clerks 2 probably sucks, it's not cause I think he sucks, but because most sequels suck. Who knows, it might be the cinematic revelation of the year. Jay and Silent Bob actually crack my shit up.

RE his whining: didn't listen to the Opie and Anthony thing, haven't actually heard anything about this other than this site and Pajiba, but if you're a filmmaker and a nationally syndicated radio show invites you to come on and talk about your movie and a movie reviewer's opinion of it for an hour and you got nothing better to do, you do it. It's called PR and in this case, it's free. It sounds like to me his problem wasn't that a reviewer disliked his movie (he probably got used to that after the reviews for Jersey Girl), it's that said reviewer flounced out of a showing of it while throwing a big old Church Lady fit. That Joel Siegel does reviews for Good Morning America sorta says it all. You have a right not to like a movie or humorous references to donkey sex, but save the histrionic self righteousness for the lame-ass reviews you do for all the hausfraus on GMA.

That's what's so annoying about the self-righteous types; they're such fucking drama queens. It's not enough they don't approve of something, they want to make damn sure we all know they don't approve of something, as loudly and often as possible. What kind of idiot is surprised or shocked by sexual content in Clerks 2? Did he not see the first one? That had some hot, hot necrophilia in it. Damn, what a retard. I wouldn't go see Passion of the Christ and complain about all the blood, why do people go to R-rated movies and bitch about the language and sex?

I'm in TX, and am surrounded by clueless dorks like Siegel, so whatever KS says about him, I'm sure he deserves it, based on my experience with them here. RE comments about people from NJ and NY: ignore them. There are plenty of stupid assholes down in Bushland, believe me. And also lots of lawyers.

"it's that said reviewer flounced out of a showing of it while throwing a big old Church Lady fit. "

excellent line, LL. bravo! (sorry, brava!)

Going back to #31's comment... I would love to see a Kevin Smith-Roger Ebert throwdown. All that hot,fat, sweaty man-flesh glistening whilst they grapple with one another. Of course, Kevin would have to wait until Roger's out of remission and feeling better. Otherwise, that would just be cruel. Although me thinks Roger could still kick Kevin's ass, cancer and all. Afterall this man wrote "Valley of the Dolls 2" and the was working on the first version of "The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle" before the Sex Pistols broke up. Now that's some kinda critic with credentials!!

*he* dammit to hell!
Drinking vodka and typing at the same time is an art I still have not mastered. I'm going to try channeling Ernest Hemingway. Now that guy could drink, write and play with guns all at the same time!

197-
try switching to tequila.
even if it doesn't help, you really don't give a fuck.

Thanks, bunnyhugger, I will try - BANG!

no, no, no. that's a SHOT of TEQUILA. i realize the shot/shoot thing can be confusing, maybe i should have been more specific......

btw, my friends call me buns.
except for hopeless. he calls me "mistress"

sorry, too many posts in a row, but, wth is opie and anthony? sounds like a bad SNL skit.

Thanks buns, I will take your advice and go easy on the tequila. Alas, Opie and Anthony are very similar to a bad SNL skit, they are syndicated radio "bad boys" that are not funny at all. You're not missing anything by not knowing who they are. Have fun with hopeless!!

#194 I think I love you.

Hmm...I think I missed all the fun on this thread.

Anyway...Siegel's reaction only makes me want to see the movie MORE. At first I was considering just renting it when it came out on DVD, but now I'm absolutely positive I have to hit the theatre.

Way to go, Joel. Way to go.

Why is Keving Smith getting so worked up over this? It's not like he's some deep and talented director, sure some of his movies were funny but they weren't exactly works of art. And I agree with #178, kevin smith is a fucking sellout, he is now like every other director in Hollywood, who make sequels when they no longer have original ideas.

More importantly is Kevin Smith actually Kevin James. Take away the grizzly bear beard and glasses and I think you have your answer.

#202, Bad SNL skit is redundant.

The guy created a character that some people like, so thats all there is to say.

If the critic didn't like the crude humour.. then thats fair. What is there for Kevin to get so worked-up about?... I think it's just weak arrogant bullshit!

I think it's high time Kevin Smith gave back the Pillsbury Doughboy look he ripped off many moons ago.