Jul 13 2006Kevin Federline makes more money than you

In Touch Weekly reports Kevin Federline is trying to pull in some extra cash by charging $20,000 to appear at events. Additionally, Federline has reportedly made $700,000 in the last four months: $250,000 for endorsing Blue Marlin clothing, $25,000 per day to promote Virgin Mobile cell phones, and negotiating to sign a deal with Jive Records for $300,000 per album.
Who are the people that are paying this guy to show up to their events? Maybe the launch party for Hobo Living Weekly? Or the annual conference for White People Who Think They're Black? If you really want Kevin Federline to show up to your event you can save a little money and just take a crap in the middle of the floor. Then introduce the pile of warm feces as Kevin Federline and your guests will never know the difference. They might even comment he's looking more cleaned up than usual.

Reader Comments
1. Fugurself - July 13, 2006 1:00 PM
What a ball sac!!
2. rolson - July 13, 2006 1:01 PM
2nd...
3. jrzmommy - July 13, 2006 1:02 PM
But...but...but he's an ASSHOLE!
4. pop - July 13, 2006 1:02 PM
is the service called 'rent-a-cletus'?
http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/
5. jane's eyre - July 13, 2006 1:05 PM
*sigh*...what's happened to America, where scuzzy, cheating, child-abandoning, no redeemable qualities people like this cretin get paid 1000x more money than the rest of us decent people?
6. jrzmommy - July 13, 2006 1:05 PM
On an unrelated topic...well, except that it's about another assclown....
"LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- "Trapped in the Closet," the controversial "South Park" episode that skewers Scientology and its popular proponent Tom Cruise, is hitting the airwaves again.
Comedy Central plans to air the Emmy-nominated episode on July 19. It was last scheduled to rerun in March but was abruptly pulled by the network.
7. Doxes - July 13, 2006 1:07 PM
Cornrows are not for white people. That white scalp showing through makes me faintly nauseous.
8. BoredStiff - July 13, 2006 1:07 PM
If you had to name the one thing wrong with the good ole' U.S.A.....It's that a complete d-bag like kevin fagerline can have this happen
9. rolson - July 13, 2006 1:11 PM
Hey, Fugurself...you are the ball sac!
10. Fugurself - July 13, 2006 1:14 PM
Reminds me of Pauly Shore's quote
"So you're inbred? where your mom is your aunt and your dad is your brother"
11. Fugurself - July 13, 2006 1:16 PM
Rolson, you shouldn't be posting shit like "2nd" if you don't have anything to say. Your comments are as relevant as a covered wagon.
12. hopeless_screenwriter - July 13, 2006 1:18 PM
This picture reminds me of the time I read an article with Kevin in 'Stamp Collector's Quarterly'. I never knew that Kevin was also an avid stamp collector, when asked how he got into the hobby his response was, "If ya can't join 'em, lick 'em and stick 'em"! My sentiments exactly. Now if you'll excuse I'm gooing to take the rest of the week off to go camping with my friend Rick.
13. Italian Stallion - July 13, 2006 1:20 PM
SF guy was right. I just took a shit on the floor in my buddys office and when he came back from lunch he said "Why the hell is Kevin Federline in my office sleeping and who authorized this."
We all just laughed, and laughed..........
14. Fatty Boom-Batty - July 13, 2006 1:21 PM
Once, I got paid like 3000 Yen to eat 3 of my friends pubes... Look out Federline, look out World, Ryan is going get his pay-day!
15. ptprez - July 13, 2006 1:23 PM
this ass-wipe's only talent is turning a semi-hot, little talent pop star into a fat whiney pig...he should be working one of those "break the balloons with the darts" game at the county fair...
16. jrzmommy - July 13, 2006 1:23 PM
$25K a day....that's a lot of St. Ides.
17. Italian Stallion - July 13, 2006 1:26 PM
How would you circumcise Kevin Federline?
Punch his sister in the jaw..........
18. Justin Igger - July 13, 2006 1:28 PM
This guy tries to hard to be Justin Igger!!
19. Fugurself - July 13, 2006 1:28 PM
#13 that is some funny shit
20. AnastasiaBeaverhausen - July 13, 2006 1:28 PM
What's he gonna do with all that money? I mean, how many mobile homes does one need?
21. RichPort - July 13, 2006 1:29 PM
Tthe joke's on us, he's more of a playa than I thouhgt. For $700K I'd wash her untouchable feet like Ghandi... for $700K I'd... endorse fruity clothes and practice my best gangsta ice grill face... pull needles out of Brit's feet... I'd throw Sean Preston around and blame it on bad parenting... go down on Brit while her cousin from down south pays her the monthly visit... I'D cry in front of Matt Lauer... move to Weezyana... I could do this all day
22. hopeless_screenwriter - July 13, 2006 1:29 PM
You should see how hot he is in a cowboy outfit.
23. Italian Stallion - July 13, 2006 1:31 PM
@19 literally.......
24. tits_on_snack - July 13, 2006 1:33 PM
Yay. Here i am hoping I can afford the esteemed luxury of buying groceries this week, and people are paying this embarassingly untalented spoiled manbaby $25,000 a day to go to parties.
25. bigponie - July 13, 2006 1:35 PM
ahhh yes k-fed, anna nicole's wonder pupil
26. rolson - July 13, 2006 1:35 PM
Hey Fugurself, you are my bitch.
27. bigponie - July 13, 2006 1:38 PM
if you invested stock money in Blue Marlin Clothing, I suggest you sell, sell, sell.
28. UNWASHEDMASSES - July 13, 2006 1:52 PM
We as consumers should fuck him. We should get the contact info to Blue Marlin, Virgin Mobile and Jive Records and start an internet petition that they drop him as their "spokeswigger". Like any executive would waste a breath defending this lout, they would void his contract immediately. Instead of bitching about this cocksucker, we should chanel our disgust and hatred to a more positive end. BTW - Britney has an orange pussy from all the times K-Fag's fingerbanged her while eating Cheetos.
29. Lush - July 13, 2006 1:52 PM
sometimes i sit down at my desk, get on the superficial website, ready for a laugh to brighten my day, and read stories like this that make me cry. a lot. really. kevin federline should do the world a favor a publicly crucify himself or something. then anyone who has ever provided him with any type of income should be forced to eat his remains. hows that for an investment douche bags?
30. jFp - July 13, 2006 1:54 PM
It would seem there are more than just one sucker born every minute.
31. Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest - July 13, 2006 1:56 PM
ALL HAIL MY HERO K-FED!
I mean he took the hottest pop sensation at the time, threw her a line or 2 and next thing you know BAM! He's spending money like its toilet paper and knocks her up not once but TWICE! To top it off he's your average white trash motherfucker. How could you not LOVE this guy??? I know I do.
32. PapaHotNuts - July 13, 2006 2:03 PM
I bought my 4 year old son a new puppy. I asked him, "Son, what are you going to name your new puppy dog?"
He said, "Daddy, I think I'll name him Kevin. Kevin Ferderline."
I kicked my son in the face and threw the dog in the river. True story.
33. hopeless_screenwriter - July 13, 2006 2:13 PM
Papa, what kind of dog? Did it have corn rolls? Did your son cry?
34. hopeless_screenwriter - July 13, 2006 2:15 PM
I finally found out what a 'Raspberry Jam' is quite disturbing.
35. PapaHotNuts - July 13, 2006 2:17 PM
It was a mutt. And no he didn't cry, I don't allow crying in my house. Unless it comes from the basement and that is a totally different story.
36. Spindoc - July 13, 2006 2:44 PM
$300,000 per album?!?!? LOL!!!!! Ok, when somebody like Clay Aiken signs contracts for Millions per album. Also, they aren't telling you that they dock the cost of promoting the record from that so he could wind up with nothing if the thing doesn't sell.
Am I wrong or does he make Colin Farrell look hygenic?
37. Sassy - July 13, 2006 2:45 PM
K'Fed=AssClown.
38. Praz - July 13, 2006 2:52 PM
Some folk'll never eat a skunk
But then again, some folk'll
Like K-fed the slack-jawed yokel
39. kickservebt - July 13, 2006 3:09 PM
I've heard this guy talk several times on TV. I can't imagine paying even $1 to hear anything this complete buffoon has to say...
40. ms0pinion8ed - July 13, 2006 3:11 PM
# 27 - lol.
41. ValeWolf - July 13, 2006 3:17 PM
Only in America...
42. ESQ - July 13, 2006 3:42 PM
I am waiting to see the day this douche hooks up with Paris Hilton. Now there is a headline for you "K-Fed is now K-Fucked for getting some unknown STD for Parasite Hilton."
43. MyWellRehearsedMistake - July 13, 2006 3:59 PM
41. ummm actually 'famous' people who do fuck all for a living get paid ridiculous sums of money for turning up places and advertising products all over the world. You just don't know this because you don't have a passport. muppet.
44. Doxes - July 13, 2006 4:05 PM
#38 - lol
45. talktome - July 13, 2006 4:23 PM
what a stud! check out this parody of kfed and his babymaker girlfriend.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u43uUXTk4rM
46. bunnyhugger - July 13, 2006 5:14 PM
okay, now i'm just sick.
and not in a good way.
can you imagine being invited to an event proclaiming "SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY SURPRISE GUEST!'
and finding out it was this douche?
i just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
47. hyped1 - July 13, 2006 7:18 PM
This is so fucking sad it actually made me sign up to comment on it!
I agree completely with the impossible nature of discerning Federline from a a steaming turd!
If you hire someone to show up at an event it's either casue they have something useful or entertaining to say like in the case of hiring maybe Bill Gates or something or because kids love them and they are beloved icons like bozo the clown, mickey mouse, or michael jackson!
Capitalism is amazing ain't it??
48. stingybtchsuzy - July 13, 2006 7:41 PM
he looks like he's shit in his pants.
49. lovelylayla - July 13, 2006 7:55 PM
@35 Papa I love you....take me to your basement!
50. Giggles - July 13, 2006 7:56 PM
He's a skank, just like my homeowners association. He'd fit right in on the board of directors. Or maybe the property management company is hiring.
51. HollyJ - July 13, 2006 9:13 PM
Someone's finally released a photo of him as a young boy.
http://www.eyedr4kids.com/images/esotropia.jpg
52. Sister Morphine - July 14, 2006 1:26 AM
Kevin Federline needs to be rendered sterile.
53. clown - July 14, 2006 2:01 AM
#52 GREAT!!! hahahhahahhahah
This guy is the ugliest and the most untalented "human being" on Earth. Summing up, he is a LOSER! And he also turned miss Britney into another moron as he is!
54. Rossarooni - July 14, 2006 10:00 AM
I hope the bitch is saving his money--because he's not going to coast through life on his talent or good looks.
55. Stef - July 14, 2006 10:44 AM
That's the worst part. He's nothing but a semiretarded starfucker who danced backup, but people keep giving him money and contracts.
The force is strong with this one. It must be. Nobody can maintain that level of bullshit for that long otherwise.
56. DrunkBlogger - July 14, 2006 3:49 PM
Yeah, this is stupid. I'm watching the Smurfs on TV.
57. Corporate Slave - July 15, 2006 1:20 AM
#1 - you took the words right out of my mouth.
This guy is a dried-out douche-bag.
And married to a fag-hag.
58. MeganNorrisHasselhoff - July 15, 2006 12:33 PM
Eminem is so much better.
59. sirokai - July 16, 2006 5:59 AM
#41: Don't worry. Europe and the rest of the world will eat him up. Every day it's going to be more of "Popozao" on the airwaves, and only the portuguese and brazilians will be any the wiser.
60. Parishilton_the2nd - July 17, 2006 12:11 AM
hope he dies.... him and britney. because she was so hot when she was skinny and blonde.. u know the "do something" video days...
61. Parishilton_the2nd - July 17, 2006 12:14 AM
and now shes fat... but u know what the worst part is? #31 is right. and that makes me wanna punch britney out for being such a stupid bitch and giving all her money to that fagget. she couldve given it to me and i wouldve spent it on something REALLY good like a bentley gt continental....
62. WouldntYouLikeToKnow - July 17, 2006 7:22 AM
For all the women around the world, who give us smart women a bad name by dating freakin' nut sacs like K-FED, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Unintelligent types of women like Britney Spears who sit around thinking... "I'm a country bumpkin who can't do nothing better than have some assholes babies" deserves to be with ass clowns like this. When these women were little girls did they actually sit around thinking about how much they'd love to make millions of dollars just to eventually represent themselves like trailer trash? And now we'll have a whole new generation of little girls who will want to emulate Britney and marry a guy like K-Fed too. A guy who can't seem to understand the meaning of the PROPHYLACTIC!!!!! Pathetic! Just pathetic!
63. slinkhard - July 18, 2006 4:55 AM
If you're gonna blame Britney for the girls that might want to emulate her, why not blame K-Fed for the little boys who might want to grow up just like him, 62?
64. england06 - July 19, 2006 1:18 AM
back in the day children wanted to be doctors or a ballerina when they were younger..now they wanna be..
Britney:who is a fat whore with plasic tits, and should be reported to social services.
K-fed: wigga, money grabbing ugly freak.
why are these people allowed to mulitply. their son if fucking ugly.
i think it all went to shit when kids dressed up as what spice girl they want to be.
*sighs*
65. primaleyes - July 26, 2006 10:18 PM
People like Britney and Kevin should be banned from making money. It's the only way society can feel justice being done!