Jul 31 2006Jessica Simpson's parents are messed up
Living up to his creepy perverted-father image, Jessica Simpson's dad was quoted by The Scoop talking about how hot his daughter looked, saying:
“She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double Ds! You can't cover those suckers up!”
Additionally, Jessica's mom recently objected to a photoshoot for OK! magazine which featured Jessica lying in bed in her underwear with a guy unbuttoning his shirt. Joe Simpson had approved the shoot, but Tina felt it made Jessica look “slutty” and wasn't the image they were going for. Although by "they" she meant "her." Because if it were up to Jessica Simpson and her dad the photoshoot would've featured even less clothing and maybe some maple syrup. There probably wouldn't even be a camera involved. Just a roll of condoms and a camcorder set up in the corner.
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Reader Comments
1. ValeWolf - July 31, 2006 10:16 AM
Of course he's gonna say that! he's her pimp!
2. Celetina - July 31, 2006 10:16 AM
Ho-leeeee. Why can't you cover them up, Joe? Lots of women do it. What's the difference with your daughter? Is it justifiable when other old men are yankin' it to her too?
3. SoftBlueGlow - July 31, 2006 10:19 AM
What a creepy man!
http://www.VeryLiberating.com
4. Fatty Boom-Batty - July 31, 2006 10:22 AM
What's a "bustier"...
5. sharkbite - July 31, 2006 10:22 AM
It's amazing how such a pervy dad hasn't been tossed into jail.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
6. enfilade - July 31, 2006 10:23 AM
I'm with her dad on this one.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com/
7. mw - July 31, 2006 10:25 AM
Wow are you kidding me? This is OLD OLD OLD news. I think that quote from her dad may be at least a couple of years old. Come on.
8. frenchtoaststix - July 31, 2006 10:26 AM
How is this NEW news, SF? I've read this quote multiple times for a year or so now. He is a creepy freak. But how timely is this headline? Not very.
9. Lindsay Lohan - July 31, 2006 10:27 AM
She is slutty. But not as slutty as me, because that's why I don't turn up for work. That's right, I'm being a coke-addled whore. Yippee!
10. spatz - July 31, 2006 10:27 AM
7 the quote is quite old but the photoshoot story is new. calm down sugartits!
11. januaryanne - July 31, 2006 10:31 AM
all right now the superfish is just screwing with our heads.
my current theory is that about 5 years ago someone hacked this site and programemd this story to pop up. the picture is clearly from 5 years ago as jessica doesnt have that sour "i got divorced for nothing" glow.
in other news, michael jackson held his baby over a balcony. film at 11!
12. HairPie - July 31, 2006 10:32 AM
Well of course her Mom objected to the photo shoot - her father was the guy unbuttoning his shirt...
13. Triumph Insult Dog - July 31, 2006 10:32 AM
Dude, it is just not cool when your Dad thinks your "sexy"! It's creepy. It sounds like a 70s porn movie. BAH-CHICKA-WA-WA...
http://www.blackbeatpress.com
14. spazeman - July 31, 2006 10:34 AM
I can't wait for Jessica's sex tape to come out with her and her dad. It's going to make Pamela and Tommy's video look like a Disney movie.
15. HairPie - July 31, 2006 10:35 AM
I'm not a big boobs guy, but JS always has a look on her face that makes me want to titty-fuck the living shit our of her and cream cheese her face...damn!, I have to clean up now...
16. Italian Stallion - July 31, 2006 10:42 AM
Nick Lachey got Joe Simpsons sloppy seconds.............
17. CMonster0125 - July 31, 2006 10:42 AM
I guess its always nice to know that Jessica's biggest stalker/fan is her own father. If she ever gets kidnapped, the police should investigate her dad first. That's just creepy beyond belief.
18. CMonster0125 - July 31, 2006 10:44 AM
Wait. He (Joe) said "you can't cover those suckers up!". Breasts don't suck, but are sucked upon. He should've taken a page from Mel Gibson and said "you can't cover those sugartits up!"
19. Fatty Boom-Batty - July 31, 2006 10:46 AM
Didn't Jess and JonBenet Ramsey used to have sleep overs? Something tells me Joe Simpson might have something to do with her disapperance. Another murder mystery solved by the Fatty.
Damn, I should get a job at the "Globe" or the "Enquirer".
20. blueballs - July 31, 2006 10:52 AM
Why do you think Nick left her? He was tired of having to share her and have threesomes with her dad, not to mention that her dad would intentionally cross swords with Nick!!!
21. PapaHotNuts - July 31, 2006 10:53 AM
My dad used to tell me I was sexy. Then again, he also molested me. In a good way. Thanks for the memories dad. And the therapy bills.
22. TrannyGranny - July 31, 2006 10:59 AM
I like that pic! The titties I'm gonna fuck, the face I'm going to come on and the thumb she's gonna jam up my ass at the last moment. I just hope I get "first", because I don't want to see Joe's old man ass working that before it's my turn.
23. ValeWolf - July 31, 2006 11:00 AM
@ #10 - LOL. Best use of our new word yet.
24. sky888 - July 31, 2006 11:06 AM
Good job mrs. simpson. At least u still have a voice in your family.
25. RichPort - July 31, 2006 11:34 AM
I wonder if Joe thinks she gives better head than Ashlee, especially since Ashlee's nose can't get in the way anymore. It must have been horrible for Nick the first time he came home and caught Joe wacking off on her tits screaming "DOUBLE DEEEEEZ!!!". She'll be telling us all about this in Vanity Fair in the next 10 years or so.
26. lucycharms - July 31, 2006 11:37 AM
Okay gross!!!
What father talks about his daughter like that?! unless you're a pimp...
Would you still be talking to your dad if he did talk about you like you were a piece of meat? Especially a Minister Dad... soo disgusting
I can only assume this is the backlash against Ashley's tranaformation... now that she is the hotter one. Playboy never asked Jessica to do a layout for 4 million ( to my knowledge that is)
27. BestNameEver - July 31, 2006 11:38 AM
Dr. Mr. Superfish:
Hello and welcome to last year.
Sincerely,
The World
28. jFp - July 31, 2006 11:42 AM
I can't stare at her ta ta's now without thinking her old man has been suckling off of them. Bastard......
29. Proteon - July 31, 2006 11:44 AM
This would be interesting except you guys tried and convicted JS of being an ugly freak of nature in the last month. Who gives a fuck about some dude obsessing over his freak of nature but ugly daughters tits?
I'd still fuck her. She's still hot. You people are sock puppets.
30. DancingQueen - July 31, 2006 11:45 AM
I love how her cross dangles mere inches above her sugartits with the nipple practically hanging out. Please! And her mom's worried about her slutty image? She does that well enough all by herself.
31. HollyJ - July 31, 2006 12:00 PM
"Daddy, do you like it when I touch you there?"
32. alaskanchicsickle - July 31, 2006 12:01 PM
@30 sugartits, lol. Instant classic.
33. jane's eyre - July 31, 2006 12:10 PM
He's so insanely creepy. Normal dads don't WANT to know their daughters have big boobs, much less comment on them. I can't believe he used to be a preacher. YUCK.
34. HolisticWisdomcom - July 31, 2006 12:16 PM
Clearly Joe Simpson has gotten so used to promoting his daughters in such a pimpy way that he has forgotten that he is their father. I would be mortified if my dad described me that way... and I teach sex ed. for a living.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
35. Adult Underoos - July 31, 2006 12:19 PM
why does her dad know her cup size? next thing you know he'll start calling them sugar tits!
36. YoMamma - July 31, 2006 12:22 PM
ummmmmmmmm.....DUH.
I know its been said, but I will say it again.....
THAT QUOTE IS SO OLD>>>
who the hell is running superfish these days....
We are on to you.
YOu better shape up.
37. UNWASHEDMASSES - July 31, 2006 12:28 PM
Joe's favorite part of the bible, one which he often preached to his children, was that of Lot and his daughters. How, following the destruction of Sodom and Gommorah and his wife turning into the world's biggest salt lick, he got to know his two daughters in the biblical sense. Often, Papa Joe would counsel in private and lay hands on his girls.
38. Doxes - July 31, 2006 12:29 PM
Dirty Joe's disturbing assessment of his daughter, though old, was quoted in the *new* story this entry is about. That's why it's up again.
At least Ma Simpson, while a bit slow on the uptake, seems to have a couple of functioning brain cells. Jessica needs to cut the apron strings. If my dad ever talked about me like that I'd never again get within 10 miles of him.
39. jane's eyre - July 31, 2006 12:36 PM
@37
Actually, in that story, it was Lot's daughters who got him drunk so they could sleep with him, because they were worried that there weren't any men left with whom to have children with.
40. jrzmommy - July 31, 2006 12:50 PM
I just don't think I'd ever be able to take enough showers to wash the incredible feeling of ick off of me if I were Jessica Simpson. Jesus Christ, dude, it's your DAUGHTER. Come ON!
41. ImSuicidal - July 31, 2006 12:51 PM
@34 "pimpy"???
42. cricket0995 - July 31, 2006 1:17 PM
Double D's my ass!! I have double D's and they're a lot bigger than hers. Maybe that's what her pervy Dad wants them to be.
43. biatcho - July 31, 2006 1:19 PM
The mom just got pissed because Daddy was the guy that was scheduled to be in the photoshoot with her.
44. januaryanne - July 31, 2006 4:02 PM
uhhh maaah gaaaaahhh.
we are all of a sudden a bunch of Bible scholars?
45. Justin Luvwitits - July 31, 2006 4:04 PM
#42 - that's SO awesome. *drool*
46. Jasmine - July 31, 2006 4:06 PM
Wow, something creepy is going on with the Simpsons and a time/space warp hole or something. I went to Wal-Mart the other day and (I kid you not) there was a Cosmopolitan with Ashlee on it from FEBRUARY 2005 ON SALE (I kid you not). Now this old quote...something odd is going on
47. Jasmine - July 31, 2006 4:06 PM
#42 I agree, she's lucky if she is even a small D
48. Justin Igger - July 31, 2006 4:10 PM
@45 your screen name doesnt even make sense stop trying to be Justin Igger.
Did i mention i love watermelon?
49. wawawetards - July 31, 2006 4:17 PM
that's from like a billion years ago...from a vh1 show.
50. Anida S. Hower - July 31, 2006 4:51 PM
It's sad that he used to be a preacher and now he's trying (a little too hard) to 'push up' his daughter's career, so to speak.
No wonder why she dresses so slutty, trying to impress daddy, I guess.
51. mw - July 31, 2006 4:52 PM
#10, correction: the photo shoot stuff is newER. It was news a couple of weeks ago or whenever she released her stupid ice cream blow job video.
52. mw - July 31, 2006 4:52 PM
Oh and how'd you know they call me sugartits??! :)
53. Spindoc - July 31, 2006 5:06 PM
#8, I agree. I've been hearing this same quote forever now. Get a new pervy quote from the guy.
Or let us talk about how Lindsay Lohans mom responded to that letter the producer sent out about her daughter by saying that he shouldn't write that to somebody who is only 19......Lindsay is 20! Nice one mom, just show the whole world that you care so little for your meal ticket you can't even remember her correct age.
54. biatcho - July 31, 2006 5:32 PM
wrote this earlier on the Lohan post but since we're talking about her mom again...
I know a man who had a one night stand with Lindsey Lohan's mom. He had NO IDEA who the fuck she was but thought she was just crazy enough to warrant renting a hotel room in the city rather than bring her back to his apartment that he pays a fotune for in rent. He feared she might come back after their rendezvous and get all stalky.
He found out like a month later it was Dina Lohan and he almost threw up. And got pissed because he wanted to bang her daughter instead. but yeah, she's as much of a whore as her daughter is. Like mommy like bitch.
55. for_the_love_of_jerusha - July 31, 2006 5:44 PM
Though I have been a regular visitor to The Superficial for quite a while, I have never posted a comment. I loved reading everyone else's takes so much that I didn't think that adding anything would contribute much. But, this whole thing about Jessica Simpson and her father is DISGUSTING. I wouldn't be surprised if that asshole molested his girls on a regular basis while they were growing up. Now, is that an excuse for the stupidity that oozes from Jessica's and Ashley's every pore? NO. But, I do feel sorry for the girls for having to put up with such inappropriate behavior from their "father". GROSS!!!!!!
56. techiedude - July 31, 2006 5:52 PM
The father is disgusting but really, Jessica isn't doing anything any of the other pop-tarts aren't already doing. She even comes across with a bit more class than they do.
57. LL - July 31, 2006 5:58 PM
Dammit, my last brilliant post was lost on the Internets and I can't remember what it was, I'm still so mad about the Jews and how whiny they are about people wanting to exterminate them. Oh yeah.... something about how the animated Simpsons are classier than the live-action Simpsons. Like, Homer's been naked himself lots of times in public, but I don't remember him ever saying anything about Lisa Simpson's awesome rack.
Oh, and about how religious people are pervier than regular people because they obsess about sex way more than the rest of us. Sr. Simpson's has come out as unseemly comments about his daughters. Nice. That must make for some awkward holiday family gatherings when Joe Simpson tells Jessica to put 'em on the glass.
58. LEMONSQZ - July 31, 2006 6:24 PM
I am guessing the fluffer (father) should be checked out for being called "Chester".
Hooray for Mom! You boys and girls should know what we defend you on!
59. Rockstar Alumni - July 31, 2006 6:33 PM
Here dad just needs a good shagging, that's all.
60. TrannyGranny - July 31, 2006 6:38 PM
23 Are you refering to "sugartits" as a new word? Cause people I know have been saying that for as long as I have been alive....and I grew up in Bum-fuck Egypt, Arizona. Shit, ICP even referenced that on the Milenko album, and that came out in like 95.
61. ImSuicidal - July 31, 2006 7:04 PM
#60 Is it bum-fuck or bum-fucked? Maybe it's, "I was bum-fucked in bum-fuck"! Although 20 odd years back, my then Philipino girlfriend asked me, "Am I bum-puck". Either way, your comment is still better then mine.
62. bunnyhugger - July 31, 2006 8:39 PM
60
tranny, you're right. must remember the median age and/or IQ on this site.
63. Tits_McGhee - July 31, 2006 9:02 PM
What's wrong with a little incest???
I hope Daddy Simpson gets Jess knocked up and their kid comes out with an arm growing out of its forehead.
64. peopleRweird - July 31, 2006 9:32 PM
EW EW EW...That despite the fact that that quote is old is sick and twisted.Do ya think Joe molested Jessic as a child cause I think so.Ya know Jessica if he did you can go to the police and have him thrown in jail so he doesn't try and get in your pants anymore. You will have the support of the public behind you.
65. happpeee - July 31, 2006 10:10 PM
What's creepy is she gained her fame as a Christian singer - and she still wears a cross, even while posing for such photos. I think she is psychologically mixed up.
66. TrannyGranny - July 31, 2006 10:22 PM
61
Man, you hit the nail on the head, I stared at my keyboard for 10 fucking minutes trying to decide....originally thought it was Futt Buck..Damn lysdexia I meant Butt Fuck Egypt. Any Egyptians in the house?
67. TrannyGranny - July 31, 2006 10:22 PM
61
Man, you hit the nail on the head, I stared at my keyboard for 10 fucking minutes trying to decide....originally thought it was Futt Buck..Damn lysdexia I meant Butt Fuck Egypt. Any Egyptians in the house?
68. techiedude - July 31, 2006 10:32 PM
Wasn't her father a preacher?
Eww!
69. techiedude - July 31, 2006 10:33 PM
Wasn't her father a preacher?
70. Convent Girl - August 1, 2006 9:23 AM
Joe Simpson is the devil......If Jessica Simpson was smart, she'd dump Daddy as the svengali/manager, because he really is totally creepy
71. energy_guru - August 1, 2006 10:24 AM
Probably aint her real dad, so she's fair game for him
72. peopleRweird - August 1, 2006 1:44 PM
I don't think he molested Ashlee though because he dosen't talk abut her boobs.
73. bootface - August 1, 2006 5:59 PM
look at those tittays..yummy
74. Nikky Raney - August 1, 2006 10:59 PM
isnt he like a priest? thats disgustng