July 13, 2006

Janet Jackson lost some weight

janet-jackson-epsy-04.jpg

Janet Jackson showed up to the 2006 ESPY Awards looking completely different than what we've come to expect from her. Although it isn't fair when celebrities get fat and then lose the weight. They still don't look that great but considering they used to look like this you're forced by law to say they do. But they don't. But they also don't look like they're challenging elephants as the heaviest land mammal on Earth. So good for you. You now weigh less than an elephant.


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» Lindsay Lohan still filming porn
» Kevin Federline makes more money than you
» Paris Hilton is a total liar
» Jessica Simpson has a birthday beach party
» Katie Holmes says Suri is doing great

Comments

she looks better...sweet prairie dress

She stole Barbies clothes.

WOW!!! I can't believe it...I'm first!! Anyway...Janet looks awesome!

Second! (it's probably the closest to first I'll get)

I love the outfit. She looks so good.

Nevermind on second! LOL..

Not first..lol...but third's not bad..

Who's the midget?

who's the midget?

THAT's FREAKIN' CREEPY! I thought I had done a double post there, Doxes!

Ahem, She still looks like a cow and underneath that dress are 3 sets of spanx underwear and alot of McGeyver tape.

she looks like michael used to...

i'd bend it over and stick my face right in that apple-bottom...

Her face looks fat. And the top of that dress completely does not fit her. Not to mention its a dress made entirely of denim. No wait, not ENTIRELY of denim, the trim is made of something else. Still, yuck.

#7 / #8 - that's Jermaine Dupri, a multi-platinum Atlanta-based rapper-producer-songwriter-record mogul and CEO of So-So Def Records. Great producer but he looks like Mighty Mouse. You'd think with all that money he would fix all those gaps in his teeth. Oh well......


#10 - don't hate. congratulate. she looks amazing.

she's a decepticon, transforming from a fat cow into a skinny cow whenever she needs to make a public appeareance and make a few million dollars.

You could use those boobs for shade. Maybe she sucked all the fat out of her butt and put it in there. If that's an operation that's possible, I am so selling my firstborn and doing it.

That dress is just wrong. It looks like the special denim interior package from a Gremlin. It was wrong then, and even more wrong on her.

They must not be getting along otherwise she should have let him wear the heels.

ya know how funny stretch-marks look on a black woman right? I bet her ass and thighs look like a toppo map.

I still think it's her post-partum look....where's THEIR baby?!? Jermaine is her babydaddy...and it's yet another 'secret' Jackson baby....
All the Jackson closets are jam packed with secrets! Some of them should stay IN the closet......

she's the least plastic looking jackson...

...except maybe tito...

What the fuck is wrong with her face?

All these Jackson people should be wiped off the map. Their remains, scattered to the four winds and the earth salted wherever they dwelled.

Looks like Michael in a fat suit and a wig. Awww, and he brought a kid with him too!! How cute!!!

@22 - South Park is rerunning the Tom Cruise episode next Wednesday the 19th...It's all over the net...it'll score bigger ratings now, I'm sure, with all the coverage there has been about it....
And Barbado....YOU hit it right on the head! I'll bring the salt!!!

filthy rich music producer or not...I wouldn't want those creepy little carny hands anywhere near me.

I don't think she lost all the weight, it went straight to her feet. are those big clodhoppers or what?

Carny hands? LOL

"Carnies..circus folk. Small hands, smell like cabbage."

Whoa, she's starting to look very Eartha Kitt-ish, and not in a good way. Jermaine Dupri must be a legal dwarf, as Janet is like 5 foot even. Bitch supposedly lost 68 pounds in two months dieting and working out - right. Full body lipo followed by a healthy dose of cocaine is more likely. Regardless, she'll always be that chubby naked Janet grooving away poolside like a raisin in the sun to me.

#8 Get out of my head!

These are the ebonic equivalents of the Victoria Silvstedt photos with "Shorty McChompers".

http://www.the-feeding-tube.com/index.php?itemid=838

Thankfully, we were spared the photographic details of his face plant into her crotch, on the limo ride to the after party, ...

#29...dooode, fucking Eartha Kitt is right. Something hideous this way comes and shit.

@14
Are you new? Did you just fall off the retard truck?

This is The Superficial. SO take your "don't hate...blah blah blah" retardo asshat comments to the Janet Jackson fansite to be with all the other fangirl wannabe clit suckers.
Janet looks nasty, and she will never look as good as she did in the mid 90s. Yeah, she's not as fat as she was, but she's old and probably nasty and saggy in all the wrong places. If I wanted a fleshy old black ass to look at, Star Jones is plenty enough already.Thanks.

Her eyes are popping right out of her head! She looks awful! Her cheeks are pumped with way more shit than Joan Rivers. This woman used to look good, in about 1990. What happened???? I believe her main from of weight control is liposuction; info as per her 'lovely' sis LaToya...

Bad Janet - you is NASTEH!

JJLTOL - Janet Jackson Loves The Oompa Loompa

Seriously, until any of you have had sex with a midget, don't knock it. I visited a midget commune once and I felt like Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz" which was awesome accept for the fact that I'm a guy who was once finger painted by his uncle Rob.

Uncle Rob: "Do you like to paint Jimmy?"
Jimmy: "You bet I do Uncle Rob."
Uncle Rob: "Come jump up on uncle Rob's lap I have something to show you first."

Have you ever wondered why 'Uncles' always refer to themselves in the 'third' person.

poor emanielle lewis...passed back and forth like that...DAMN YOU JACKSONS!!!!!

There is or was supposedly a midget commune in the next city over, Riverside. I so want to go over and do my own remake of The Wizard of Oz, except this one will be a little different. It'll involve me loading them up into a van, cuffed in wee little shackles, and I'll take them back to my place, where they'll work in a sweat shop making sickeningly cutesy "country" crap knickknacks, which I will then peddle to the old ladies down in Sun City, and make a fortune, 'cuz they LOVE that crap. It's BRILLIANT!

I know the ugly denim comment has already been made, but that's some ugly shite. WTF was she thinking? Did she look at herself on the way out and say "wow, I look hot"

That's not Janet. That's an ex-linebacker female impersonator pretending to be Janet.

Janes Eyre @38 LMOA. Knickknacks. What's cuter than 'wee little shakles'.

Nope, sorry. She looks like an over-stuffed sausage in that photo. The hair certainly doesn't help.

No amount of diet and exercise is gonna maker her look as good as she did 20 years ago. It's just a fact of life -- young people are pretty, old people aren't. The in-betweens are sort of half and half, like Janet.

I'd love a sip of that brown sugar mocha latte, even with the extra whipped cream.

Is that Gary Coleman she's hanging around with?

I like my women like I take my coffee...Cold and Black...

Remember from the first Batman movie when the Joker put that chemical in all the beauty products and then the people that used them got that big ass grin...Someone please call Commissioner Gordon!

Now, to lose that other unsightly baggage...

"Miss Jackson if your nasty"...

Yup, your nasty alright

sweet jive-talkin' Jesus, that is one freak of non-nature I have seen for awhile. If it ever came to be that I could see her in person, my facial expression might be mistaken for the same expression I'd have if I were checking out rotten.com. Completely horrified, disgusted, deeply angered, and yet drawn to looking at it in some twisted curiousity....

It's Sug Knight's Mini-Me.

Janet looks great minus the weight, but I am superficially disinclined to like that awful denim dress (eyelet trim? pur-leeease....) I guess if you wear a suit of armor masquerading as a fun little sundress, you have a lesser than average chance of experiencing a wardrobe malfunction.

I also am not good with the Little Debbie bangs unless she and that short guy have a basket of Swiss Rolls hidden behind them. If they'll give me one, I'll think of something nice to say about the ankle bracelet.

JJ is much too tacky .... tackier than CHER.
This dress sucks, she could be skinny as a bambu, but wearing this dress would make her look as a dork.

So did Jacko make his entire family get the same nose job? Whatever, they're all creepy.

Go read post #33. I'll bet anyone $5 that TheSeether is a bitter fat chick.

WOW!! OMG I am last!!! I never was last before!!!! I cab't believe it!!!! I'd like to thank everyome who posted before me that made this possible!!! I rock and you all don't!!!

see how stupid this looks? well it is not as stupid as those who try to get first and brag about it. most of the time they have nothing else to say and just waste pixels. soon there wont be enough pixels to fill everyone's screen because they have all been wasted by the posters who fight to say first. then what are we gonna do, if we are lucky the missing pixesl will prevent the world from being infected by another parasite or hohan nasty scummy cooze shot. in that case we might be alreight. maybe janet jackson will look better if some of the missing pixels make her look like less of a blimp squeezed into her bad clothing. anyways, goodnight and adieu

About time. Jermaine Durpri must have used mind tricks to get her fat so that he could keep her. You know those Jacksons...not a lot going on upstairs. He probably brainwashed here because seriously, how else does Jermaine Dupri get Janet Jackson?

I just can't help but think of how pretty she was in that one video YEARS ago on the beach--what was that song, Love Will Never Do Without You?? And now, her first name is Janet and Miss Jackson you is NASTY.

Janet on many occasions had been SUPERHOT, but going up and down with weight looks like depression and low self-esteem.

I'm sorry, no matter how hot you are, when you have low self-esteem, it's no fun. It's sad. And I like to smile when I look at Janet...

http://www.blackbeatpress.com

I like my women like I like my coffee:
Columbian and hot, with some cocaine sprinkled on 'em.

Yeah, remember when Janet had the best abs ever? Why do hot bitches have to get old and fat? Why, God? Why?!!!

Janet aren't you due for another nipplegate?

Get over here and get those tits in my MOUTH !!!

I had that dress for my Barbie!

She looks as if she's been sewn into the dress. If one little thread gives then .....KASPLOTCH!!!....a massive tissue explosion resulting in a 500 foot radius being enveloped in her blubber.

I think Janet is still with penguin because he is hang like an arabian stallion.

A lady friend said the following:
"Size only matters in nukes.Try tickling your nose with a bit of feather
and then a foot long hot dog and find out which is more stimulating."

I don't think pussy is the same as nose therefore size is critical. What do the ladies think?

I would say the meat by-product is more stimulating...but then again I love hot dogs, Brats, kielbasa and sausages of all varieties......and not just for their unbearable likeness to penises, but for the hearty flavor unique to each.

fatty fatty 2x4 cant get through the kitchen door.

I like penis-flavored bratwurst in my nose. Wait, what were we talking about?

Is that guy she's with the Mensa midget-limo driver from Me, Myself & Irene?

i put the handle of a feather duster in my ass once...

...does that count???

63:

I'm just picturing the look on his face if a guy walked in and his wife's rubbing a footlong hotdog on her nose.

"Dear, what are you doing?"
"Well, the feather wasn't working..."

And no, size doesn't matter if they know how to use their tongue. Straight up.

Size doesn't matter.
But there's nothing like a good 14" of black manaconda with a 6" circumference boring through your guts, am I right ladies?

#64 to #70 (exclude #65) LMFAO. This is some of the funniest shit I have ever read on this site.

@70: mmmmmm you betcha!!!

70:
Yeah, but the company discontinued that model after Paris Hilton threatened to sue them. She claimed she lost it, and wouldn't explain exactly WHERE it was lost, but the manufacturers were still at fault.

70 & 73: What's that called again, the Colon-cock-scopy?

Good For her for losing all that weight.........HOWEVER, she used to look all sweet and now she is looking kinda harsh and plastic, did she have more plastic surgery or has all the up and down dieting just made her face look kinda like Dolph Lungrens?

73 - Well, it is ATTACHED to a model, named Juwaine. I don't see how he could get lost by Paris Hilton unnless you're insinuating that he stumbled into her vagina and lost his way like in one of those hedge-mazes, which is entirely plausible.

#33 - No I'm not new & no I didn't fall off your mother's truck.

I know where I'm at and whoever made the comment in #10 is being a hater. Janet isn't drop dead gorgeous & her face (to put it mildly) is really showing her age but she surely isn't a cow and her body looks waaaay better than it did just a few short months ago.

I'm guessing by your name that you're an angry fat chick with facial and body hair who has to catch & hold her breath six times just to scratch her damn toes. Typing on your keyboard does not constitute exercise & it won't reduce your jell-o arm. Do us all a favor & go play in traffic. Thanks.

#53 - LOL!!! exactly! I'll double that bet ;0}

I hope the Superfish guy gives us another topic soon because I sense we're all getting bored and when that happens we all start to eat each other. Maybe he'll tell us about Christie Brinkley divorcing for the FOURTH TIME or Lindsay Lohan reportedly visiting Brandon Davis in rehab or yet another girl-servant suing Naomi Campbell.

@77 "I'm guessing by your name that you're an angry fat chick with facial and body hair who has to catch & hold her breath six times just to scratch her damn toes."

That was priceless, thanks for the laugh!

If he paints his face white he can join the lollipop guild.

... we represent the lollipop guild the lollipop guild the lollipop guild ...

78 - I never thought it was so bad when we were eating eachother. In fact, those are always some of my most priceless memories...

In the off-season he makes all kinds of wonderful toys, and don't even get him started on the 'double fudge' recipe the Keebler's stole from him.

Who's the bald baby-midget... I think it may be her capuchin spider-money... you know, one of those helper companion monkeys that picks things up for, or gets her water, or brings real men into her bedroom for her when she needs servicing...

81--yeah, but there's a few that taste really nasty--like bananas served on hotplates....

Must... resist... desire... to make... joke about Jermaine and Janet... can't use word 'Black... some people... get offended... sweating... palms clammy... nervous shakes...

... interesting how this lypo-addict, who seems to have an affinty for trolls, fluctuates size more than a puffer fish. Maybe she saw Jermaine in the light and, frightened, blew up in a defensive reflex. I wonder if she makes fancy soap out of all the fat they suck out of her ass on a regular basis...?

85--Did you know Jermaine has a daughter named Jermajesty? I sware to God I'm not making that up. What the fuck is with this family's delusions of grandeur. Jermajesty, Prince Michael, Michael King of the Pee Pee Touchers......

Rich, black people fat makes the best soap. The lather is exceptionally sudsy and it's the best for a smooth complexion, bar-none. Get it? Bar??? Ha!!!

The last time I used 'soul soap'it was a glorious day. I fried some bologna mixed it with some mac & cheese, decided not to go to work and stayed home smoking dubbage from a rusty Colt 45 beer can I poked holes in. It was a great day.

Hey and she's smaller than a whale too! Good for you JJ!

Yes, black people fat (BPF)is also good on toast. And, applied to the chains of your bicycle or rusty hinges, makes a great, affordable lubricant! It has many uses.

White people fat, however, is entirely unusable, and anyone that says otherwise is a goddam liar.

# 85 RichPort. LOL!!!!

I'm the only one seeing an increasing resemblance to Michael?

I hope it's just a rumour she had a kid cause the Jackson bloodline is way too numerous for the good of man, well atleast Michael's kids aren't really his...Either way this family gives me motivation to reproduce and balance whatever is wrong in this world. She'll get fat again only this time a new album won't even be able to save her ass, it will be heart disease central she's been up and down in her weight since MJ was black

Janet may have lost some weight but unfortunately, she has developed a small growth to the right of her!

#86

Jermajesty? I mean seriously, you can't make that shit up...I guess it's better than naming you little girls after luxury goods, i.e. "Chanel" and "Lexus", because that just makes 'em sound like strippers. Jermajesty? they might as well just naned her Jerstupid.

You guys are cracking me up. Thanks!

#86

Jermajesty? I mean seriously, you can't make that shit up...I guess it's better than naming you little girls after luxury goods, i.e. "Chanel" and "Lexus", because that just makes 'em sound like strippers. Jermajesty? they might as well just naned her Jerstupid.


You guys are cracking me up. Thanks!

damn double posts!!!
damn double posts!!!

The bod is lookin' fab, but the dress looks all saggy and sunken in at the chest. Brand new boods would fix that right up J.J.!

The entire outfit sucks, she sucks, her weave sucks, her music sucks, and dare I say it? ? ? ? ? She's still fat... and black. If she really was really smart and wanted to follow in Michael's footsteps she would have taken note at the fact that he made the BIG money when he turned white. That Janet... not the brightest (hahaha get the racial reference?) crayon in the box, is she? ;)

Oh, and my comment on "Jermajesty?" Puh-lease... Do you know how many black people name their daughters "Princess"?? I guess we can let them dream, right? Since we all know that there's no such thing as black royalty. Unless we're watching "Coming to America" - and that movie is only funny because well... it's obvious.

@99 What? She's black?? You are a genius, a goony goo goo.

...you're all gonna get your asses kicked... it's a coming, i can feel it... The Thought Police are on their way to regulate all the things you all say. You can say Janet's ugly and fat and rich and stupid and a weirdo and a clone of her brother and attention seeking and dating a midget but don't say the 'B' word. Didn't you read the Eva Longoria post?

Janet looks... um, not as bad as she has in the past. The hair is... well, let's just say that bangs like that on chicks over the age of about 16 are generally not a good idea, especially when combined with a ponytail. She looks like virgin Sandy in Grease. As for the dress, I get where she's going, but ecch... she looks like she's going to a square dance (sorta) or a butter churning, something farmy. Shoes, also not good. Janet, chicks our age who try for "youthful" usually end up shooting way wide and hitting "desperate." Next time, try something sorta drapey, some nice glittery, sandal-like heels and have someone yank out that weave and do your hair all cute and curly like in that magazine cover where the guy is holding your boobs. And damn, clean off about half that eye makeup. You are veering dangerously close to female impersonator territory. You're welcome...

Janet looks awesome! There's no denying that she has a place in music and r&b/pop and is taking her throne back. Everyone is quick to call her a "cow" and "pig" but really when you look in the mirror at the end of the day...its BECAUSE YOU'RE UGLY! Some here just should'nt be superficial...especially if your a fat, zit faced lindsay lohan nerd.

104. I most certainly would never call a woman of Janet Jackson's stature a "cow". I simply admired the fine Angus heifer standing next to Gary Coleman, which I assumed was his date for the evening.

http://www.lifestyleblock.co.nz/articles/breeds/13_angus_cattle.htm

And just so we're clear, who precisely is Janet Jackson supposedly "taking her throne back" from? The bitch was never anything more than a bovine plastic surgery victim with Mr. Ed veneers in a mouth large enough to deep throat my arm ( but not quite large enough to swallow my enormous schlong ).

105 I might have something you can pack that pecker into ;O

"What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

You know if nobody else knew about it, you would do it!

108. Nope. I personally have no interest in mating across species boundaries. And seriously, her mouth scares me, not to mention the rather large tumor she seems to have developed, ...

r u sure dats Jermaine Dupree because it looks like Justin Igger.

Size does matter.
There is nothing wrong with being black.
Her face looks terrible.

she may have lost weught but shes still reallyyyyyyyy ugly

she may have lost weight but shes still reallyyyyyyyyy ugly.

Throw a blonde wig on her & she resembles that evil martian chick in Mars Attacks who kills Martin Short. Who is apparently black now.

And the million dollar question. How the hell did she lose 100 pounds in 6 months? Thats 16 or 17 pounds a month! Almost 4 pounds a week?

She has always looked great. Barbie should not be the idle. But, um, whose the midget?

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