Jul 24 2006Calista Flockhart is looking weird

First?

these pictures have to be old...she's wearing a freaken sweater.

first..im a dork

And in other news... Fire is hot.

Is that really Calista?
She's put on some weight. Now she weighs more than my bowel movements.

too much Botox? she looks a little immobile in the facial area....takes expressionless to a new low....but then again she does live with expressionless Harrison...nevermind....

Flappy lip.

Ew. She looks like she has tape holding her eyebrows back.

EWWWW.

Did I say ew?!

... because we all know famous people are supposed to look good all the time.

More "after the jump".

This site is starting to suck.

Who?

Oh yeah, that chick from that show from a half decade ago that i don't give a shit about.

Yawn.

caption:

Calista was beginning to question whether using Harrisons "Carbonite-Facial" was a good idea or not and wondered why it was white and sticky and not black like in the movie.

Wow. She actually looks like Harrison Ford.

Notice how her face doesn't change AT ALL in the three pictures. I agree with #6 -- either botox, or it's just natural to look that way all the time now that she's dating an old guy.

How sad.

makin another night of the living dead movie and i don't even think i saw da other ones maybe i go see this one

Well... She's doing a cross between my Pug puppy's face, and the Elvis Lip Sneer. Good on her plastic surgeon. Or maybe she's concentrating hard? And by 'concentrating' I mean really doped up on some awesome drug that makes you FEEL PRETTY when you're not?
As far as the sweater goes... don't anorexics get cold easily?

She looks exactly like her expression: like a perpetually on the rag CUNT.

I hate this fucking bitch, if Greedo didn't kill Han Solo, she did.

Pale and uninteresting.

Remember when she had eyebrows? Yeah, those were good times..

I remember this "girl" being quite the fuckable little piece of ass a few years back. Father time has not been kind, maybe she's been abusing the dark side of the force or some shit like that. Yiikes.

She looks exactly the same in every picture and none of them have eyebrows! Why is she perpetually so mad? Is it because we can see her? She hasn't completely disappeard into a two-dimensional lollipop-thing? "Damn that diet! I never get to be invisible!"

I used to love her Ally McBeal character, but seeing her out of character just pisses me off.

Is this like one of those "Guess Which Picture is Different" games from my youth? Because every picture looks exactly the fucking same.

It's "The Lady in the Water!"

Wow, she looks almost alien-like. Too creepy for me.

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

Reminds me of Diamond Dogs-era Bowie.

She needs some sex with color!

http://www.holisticwisdom.com/sex-color-therapy-chromotherapy.htm

Mrs. T stop insulting Bowie!

She still looks like Gollum to me. Constipated Gollum.

What the heck happend to her? She never really was that attractive but shit! She's so pale - she looks really sick.

What's up with her eyes - they are turning asian.

Gross. Get some sun woman.... and some style.

Dear HolisticWisdomcom/SoftBlueGlow,

You know what goes great with color-therapy-sex? The coordinating dildo and oil offered in the "Extras" page!

Nuff is nuff with the promotional posts.

Signed,

Poster bored by the most boring Superficial day in the annals of Superficial History. aka Self Righteous Girl Reduced to Tears Where the Floodwaters Soak their Belongings.

What a lame post. So what, is she supposed to look hot 24/7? She looks like a normal person walking on the street.

@29
THANK YOU!
I've really been wanting to say something about that, but people tend to get all crazy.

From HolisticWisdom's website:

ALL Women Can Female Ejaculate, This Is Real. Once You Learn How It Works You Will Be Amazed At How Simple It Is To Do!

Great, I was wondering what I could do with all that spare time on my hands!

She looks peculiar? That's the best you got? Where's the superfish guy cuz that can't be him posting this crap and lame shit.

Looks like she can still smell the Dirty Sanchez Harrison gave her earlier, not matter how much Noxzema she scrubs with.

Where's annoying Tina from the Colin Ferrell post when you need her?

she looks normal to me. people shouldn't wear makeup all the time, that would be gross.

props to calista for gaining some weight. if she still looked the way she used to you'd be making fun of her for being too skinny.

i agree that this site is getting lame.

this isn't funny or interesting.

its basically a picture of a normal person going shopping.

If you can see her, you have the

If you can see her, you have the sixth sense.

Her face didn't change because it was one of those cameras that take a bazillion pics in 1 second. Jesus people, she looks like a perfectly normal woman. Hell maybe the sun was in her eyes. Big effin' deal.

And to #21 who is pissed off because Calista is out of her her Ally McBeal character. If that pisses you off, you need a life. That's just wrong on so many levels. Oh, maybe you were trying to be funny? It didn't work.

This was a really stupid post with really stupid people trying to be anything but really stupid.

Did she just see a ghost? Possibly Harrison?

Calista - Hang In there.
But maybe quit the cult for a while - the PR people have finally caught on to "the stare" The public at LARGE will probs soon catch on as well.
I still think Harrison was probably a good career move, but...let's face it...in his breakout role most of his screen time and dialog was dwarfed by Chewbacca.
His later roles just heightened the fact...
(Hopefully a decent pre-nup - then eat)

She looks like Katherine Helmond in Brazil. Forreal tho. Not that that's a bad thing...

Eh, it's not like she was so gorgeous to begin with.

http://glossedover.com

To the few people who say she looks like a normal person walking down the street - WTF???!!!!
That face is not normal. If you think that's normal i hate to think what you think isn't normal.

So : Stevey Nash comes back to Canuckistan without his haircut...
http://www.thesuperficial.com/2006/06/30/pamela_anderson_wears_the_clot.html#comment
(around 169)
Steve, buddy, we would have still let you back in with your hair ! Quit paying attention to this lame site. That was what you would call a 'mindless drivel spew'. A doubled dribble.
( Although you'll probably be a lot faster.)
(Basketball secret - don't pass to the lousy guys) ('Binky' J Wooden)
And what the H are you doing down in Phoenix anyway ? Oh sure - the people there don't need ovens - they just put dinner out to cook in the back yard. But - I'm sure the novelty of that wears off after a while.
And, back in Canada, where would my sex life be without my frost-bitten penis ? Well. Ok. I might HAVE a sex life without it - but - Hey - Think of the STD's I've avoided.
Oh, sorry, the librarian watching my internet useage says I'm off topic again. Sorry kids...
Gotta go.

she looks like a hypnotized stick insect.

She looks stoned.

What do you mean date they're likely getting married. You know how things go when you get married...

http://www.exposay.com/harrison-ford-to-marry-calista-flockhart/v/2481/

so what else is new

hm,well shes not exactly 20.But she does look kinda...different.

I reckon she's on heroine.

She reminds me of Rocky Dennis...

oh ladies, please learn from this. Never leave home without your eyebrows.

OK I am going to stop saying such terrible things -- but where are all my stories? If I can't read stuff, I get bored and I have to comment. Sometimes I even end up reading PerezHilton. Someone help me.

She looks like the beast from the TV show Beauty and the Beast that Linda Hamilton did ages ago.

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! Smile, bi-acha!

Her face is scary. In all honesty it's krusty like MeganHarris' and it frightens me...............

#38 - Yes, I must agree with you that was a really stupid post. And no, you didn't come off as anything other than really stupid.

If ugliness were bricks, she'd be the great wall of China.

When the fuck did she get so fat? Well, guess we gotta cross her off the old Celebrity Anorexia Death Pool. Why does she look so pissed off? She should be happy someone wants to take her picture now that Ally McBeal has been off the air for, what, 10 years now! I wish she'd catch anorexia again and go starve somewhere.

38--How incredibly stupid.

I just want to take this opportunity to say to the Superfish guy that You're slacking, big time. Only two posts in the past day and a half and this is what we get? Calista Flockhart? She's already off of the celebrity radar, so it's no wonder she looks like she does. She looks normal because that's what she is now, normal. She has no career. Hopefully you'll be able to find some "good stuff" that doesn't include Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, or Lindsay Blohan....

that's not ally mcbeal, that's meredith grey (duh)

Where in the hell are these people hanging out that they are wearing sweaters in the middle of JULY?!?! I know I'm in Texas and it gets hot here like nobody's business, but these people are in the same cities as the bikini posts (if not far from them). Are they really so fucking skinny that they're freezing?

This is actually what people start to look like after not eating for 10 years.

http://wobblybitsgirl.blogspot.com/

Seriously, That puffy look comes from one thing...long term alcohol abuse. Calista needs to get to a meeting.

61--totally. I mean, isn't California in the throes of a wicked heatwave? How old is this picture? Unless it was taken in like, I don't know...Greenland or some shit. Maybe she's at the same place Katie Holmes was photographed in last week in HER sweater and jeans and tennys.

I wonder when her birthday is, I want to send her a "Pale is the new tan" shirt...............

@64 Yes, it is. I feel like passing out just looking at her. It's so freaking humid too, I feel like I'm in Georgia or something.

I think this happens when you drink 63 year old semen. That shit can't "keep" forever... it does have a shelf-life, right?

@64, 66 - Don't get me wrong, I'd rather see her in a sweater than a bikini. I would sooner die than slip into some cashmere right now. I guess sweaters are the new black.

#38 -- it can't be one of those cameras that takes a picture every second. You can see she's walking -- her legs are moving but her face looks the same.

And it cracks me up when people sign on and defend the celebrities. We're here to bash people who think they are so much better than the rest of us, but aren't. It makes our boring existences seem more bearable.

Well, since there aren't any interesting new posts, here are some things to chatter about....David Hasselhoff is set to star in an Australian theatrical production — a musical — based on his life.
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Kelly Rowland of Destiny’s Child is expecting a child. The singer says she’s two months pregnant, reports the London Mirror, which quotes Rowland as saying “It's kind of a bitter-sweet feeling because I was planning to release an album next year.” ...and now I gotta raise a little fucking rugrat!!!
What the fuck? Could she be anymore UNhappy about the news? Damn, why bother?!

I take a break from work, come home to check some internet, and THIS is the thanks I get? Fuck you Superfish, fuck you in your stupid ass.

Hey, everyone complaining about the heat, it is 69 here, and not getting hotter than 75....hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

67 pinky nip (mmmm, nipples)

It's a well known fact that young semen is good for the complexion, stands to reason that old man sperm will try and eat your face to stay alive for another week or 2. That's why women should only let me cum on your faces....it's SOOOOO good for you!

i'd rather hit gollum and harrison ford at the same time then that withered piece of ass....

http://popculturepundit.blogspot.com/

She looks angry....

Screw you, Tranny. Come here so I can shake some sweat on you.

She looks like that freak from Beauty and The Beast:

http://www.crazyabouttv.com/Images/beautyandbeast.jpg

Does anyone remember that show? It sucked big hairy cock, like our friend T.C.

#75 - I remembered it in post #53.

P.S. Oops - posted too fast...
Whenever I mention that show, when I see someone who looks like the beast, everyone always looks at me funny. Then, they claim that they have no idea what I'm talking about. Thanks for being with me proving the show did, in fact, happen.

@71 hysterical as usual. I gave a sorority chick her first facial on Saturday and at first she was like, "ewww I can't believe you just did that to me", but after she washed it off her face she was like, "wow, I never thought my skin could feel so soft." And I was like, "Fuck yeah! Now make me a sandwich."

I would be happy to blow a copious load on Calista's face, and I bet she can make a good samwich.

P.s. Ladies. For greater silky smoothness, let the cum set for 15 minutes. Rinse and repeat if necessary.

Here's to your gorgeous face.

Hopeless

It's her inner-glow that makes her so lovely.
That warm and compassionate glitter in her eye; the caring, slow smile.
It's the intelligent forehead, the high cheekbones, the sensual line of her jaw.
Oops. Sorry, I was looking at a picture of Francis, the talking mule wearing a
blonde wig and cocktail dress drag.

Look she's not angry, she's just devoid of expression due to lack of alcohol, eyebrows and bong hits.

She'll have it all squared away by 11:30 am. Okay, not the eyebrows.

Check out Lindsay in her underwear, silver flats and aviator sunglasses. Beware, you've never seen her freckles like this before!

http://www.bastardly.com/

Calista's looking weird? When hasn't she looked weird? She singlehandedly started the Auschwitz look back in the '90's and perfected the trout-lipped pout that Meg Ryan loved so much she surgically butchered her face to copy. Calista always looked like a Wednesday fuck - good for middle of the week nookie, but you don't know the bitch come Friday night. And she was soooo thin that it appeared one would crack her pelvis like a crab leg should they fuck her proper, or their prick would get cheesegrated down to a nub on her cervix. And Harrison Ford's got as bad a taste in women as Bill Clinton. The guy's the #1 box office star in history, could have any actress in Hollywood, and he takes the one that has the body of a 13 year old Vietnamese boy.

Tell us, Unwashed, how do you REALLY feel? Don't hold back.
SOM!

@52 Januaryanne - for Gods sake don't read Perez Hilton, staring at Gollum's face for a whole day is better than that fat paris loving faggot

Nothing like a gay George Michael sex scandal to cure the boredom:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006340090,00.html

Nothing like a gay George Michael sex scandal to cure the boredom:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006340090,00.html

Nothing like a gay George Michael sex scandal to cure the boredom:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006340090,00.html

@78 - Although I do enjoy the occasional facial, I believe in swallowing because cum is best for the skin if it works from the inside out..you know..like a vitamin. That's what I attribute my gorgeous skin to....

I know I've been a very bad girl, but do I have to be punished by looking at this bocci-ball head all day? What's next, piping "Butterfly Kisses" over the sound system at work all day?

Fuck.

@84 - You can't blame her...stay on this site long enough without an update and you'll end up talking to yourself like Smeagol.

Why do you cry Smeagol?

So has anyone taken the "Are you a good Kisser" test that keeps popping up on here?
I am so afraid to because after 18 years of kissing I just don't think i quite have the hang of it yet and I'll be goddamned if some computer is going to tell me I kiss like a wet dog. fuck that bitch.

Cruel men hurts us. Master tricks us.

Of course he did. I TOLD you he was tricksy, I TOLD you he was false.

you cant tell her age by looking at her, she's ageless. the kind of person that looks like 'an old person wanting to look young at the age of 30' forever.
how old IS she?

@92 - it makes me feel SO much better to know I'm not the only DORK around here. ; )

Check this out Jayne, it's fucking HYSTERICAL:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wGR4-SeuJ0

And to further my dorkiness I will say this to 93:

You see 30's? I see the Borg Queen.

http://startrekccg.decipher.com/images/BorgQueen_Cube_10thAniv.jpg

Hey Jacq, glad to help you feel less paranoid. I never saw a complete episode of that show, but it left a freaky impression on me. Calista never did it for me, I like a woman who looks like a woman and not a lollipop.

Ha ha, Zanna, that was funny! My husband pleaded his way into buying a $550 storm trooper armor kit for Halloween. So we're pretty much a family of dorks. Yup.

Jane...this is your hubby, isn't it..admit it.

http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/4679/humpingstormtrooper6pq.gif

LOL

@97 LMAO! Eeeee...

He had a little too much Jager in him.

Is someone implying that she doesn't always look weird?

@98 - Is there such a thing as having too much Jager?

What happened to that magical rule that stopped the "first" comments on every post?
Get a life people!

barado (17 & 20)
damn straight! we've already established that i'm too old here, but han solo (and, oh, fuck me silly, indiana jones) was one hugely fuckable character!! now it's like she's sucked the life out of harry.

and jane, how bad was it out there? my fricken pool is holding at 95-98 degrees w/o the heater. we were supposed to hit something like 114. and yeah, the humidty.
(jane & zanna, you're not the only dorks here. guess how i met my hubby?)

Botox for sure! 100% sure! the what the h*ll is that match? Funny granny handbag + trainers. S.O.S.

Zanna, when you're puking your guts out in a Vegas hotel, your husband has to keep putting you back into bed 'cuz you can't seem to stay in it, and you're reeling so bad that you crack the bridge of your nose on the toilet...that's too much.

Bunnyhugger...SO FREAKIN HOT. We have to run our air all night long. It wouldn't be so bad if it was dry, but it feels like a sauna when you walk outside. I don't think it's as hot as out there, though. Whee. And let me guess-a Star Wars convention?

She doesn't look like a snotty bitch at all.

@78. Sadly, not hilarious.

jane, really close.
but i'm not giving any more shit here. stupid (and i do mean STUPID) troll doesn't need any more fodder.
and the fact that it decided to use MY name has me reasonable convinced that this time it's meganharris for sure. i don't comment enough to be stalked, but we all know who's been stalking you. and because i've spoken to you.....
you know how it goes. i'll see you over at the other site, okay?
wish we could get the real hopeless there, too.
and dammit, from my experience, ANY jager is too much,
ugh. zanna, you're one tough broad!

jane, zanna and fellow dorks:

check this one. a few months old, but fucking funny!

and if the real hopeless can figure out how, get back to us, slave. (hee-hee)

http://www.storewars.org/flash/index.html

This woman is famous for being malnourished. She is famous for doing something stupid like not eating. You get no respect if your famous for something stupid. Can anyone say Zsa ZSa Gabor?

Myeh...I don't get it :/

She looks kind of pretty, especially now that she's put on some weight.

Furthermore, Ford may be 60, but he can do 50 push-ups, can run a mile without having a heart attack, and isn't impotent like half of you aging, cynical Gen Xer's who frequent websites like this all day long, all week, all month, all year.

Even if he is old, at least he can look back and say he was Indiana Jones, for crissakes.

Losers.

For gods sake guys....
SHE´S JUST NOT WEARING MAKEUP - THAT´S ALL...

Uhhhh...

"Calista Flockhart is looking weird"

There's something grammatically wrong with this sentence. Can't *quite* put my finger on it...