July 27, 2006
Britney Spears is really mean

Britney Spears reportedly fired her pool guy for talking to Kevin Federline too much. The pool boy says:
“I was hanging out a little bit,” ex-employee Jon LaLane told In Touch Weekly. “She came out screaming at Kevin for lying around, then looked at me like I was to blame.” The next day, LaLane, says he got a call from Spears’ people, telling him not to report for work. LaLane, son of the famed exercise guru Jack LaLane, also has a band, and he says he and K-Fed would talk music. But, he claims, Spears would get jealous when her hubby talked to anyone else.“She wants Kevin on a leash,” LaLane told the mag. “She fires everybody. I figured, ‘Why not me?’ I just didn’t expect her to be so mean.” He adds: “It’s a revolving door there. She’s not the nice person everyone thinks she is.
His first mistake was dropping out of college and becoming a pool boy. His second mistake was thinking talking to Kevin Federline would be a good idea. And his third mistake was not being a giant bag of Cheetos. Because I gaurantee you if he was a giant bag of Cheetos he could be caught giving Kevin Federline a blowjob and Britney would just give him a hug and let him know what an inspiration he is to her. And how she hopes one day her kids will grow up to be just like him.
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Comments
1. Posted by The Girl on July 27, 2006 12:03 PM
"She’s not the nice person everyone thinks she is."
Umm, do people think she's nice? Stupid, yes. A bimbo, sure. Nice? Nope, I don't remember ever suffering under that assumption.
2. Posted by nightshirt on July 27, 2006 12:04 PM
first
3. Posted by beesknees on July 27, 2006 12:05 PM
She gets jealous when K-Fed talks to the pool boy? What an insecure bitch.
4. Posted by cardio on July 27, 2006 12:06 PM
Third!
I'd still nail her (after she drops the next kid - no pun intended)
5. Posted by nightshirt on July 27, 2006 12:06 PM
thot i was first. oh well.
6. Posted by purplepuppy on July 27, 2006 12:08 PM
Yup, she's a big, fat, raging, cunt-bag, no-talent loser. Tried to tell people that when she was famous (famous for being a singer) and just got told I was jealous. Told you so...fuckers!!!
7. Posted by nc72 on July 27, 2006 12:08 PM
The girl's hormones must be off-the-charts. He should count himself lucky that he's finished working for em...
http://www.exposay.com/britney-spears-almost-has-miscarriage-due-to-poor-diet/v/2961/
8. Posted by YoMamma on July 27, 2006 12:11 PM
Shes just mad cause the homo pool boy likes Kevin more than her...or...maybe hes not a homo. Maybe its because she is a fat ass.
Nobody likes the fatties.
9. Posted by MyWellRehearsedMistake on July 27, 2006 12:12 PM
Well i don't know about you but if i was dirt poor and from the cunt-tree and i became a millionare by singing and dancing in skimpy outfits all through my childhood (aka prostituting yourself for the mouse). Then a useless hobo absentee father wannabe-rapper knocked me up, ruined my body and lost me that last shred of credibility I had. I'd be pretty pissed off if my pool guy sat around with my useless husband getting stoned all day talking about crap.
What else is Brit gonna do? She can't fire K-Fed.
10. Posted by SoftBlueGlow on July 27, 2006 12:12 PM
What a nazi.
http://www.VeryLiberating.com
11. Posted by ja5on on July 27, 2006 12:12 PM
I thought it said "Britney Spears is really a man".......I'm dissapointed now.
12. Posted by Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest on July 27, 2006 12:14 PM
Lets get a new picture of this whale, jeez.
He's full of shit. He's probably K-Fag's dope dealer or something. I mean Britney has to have some scruples. Talk about dope deals AFTER the pool is cleaned.
13. Posted by RichPort on July 27, 2006 12:14 PM
The LaLane family sure has had a fall from grace, what with cleaning up after rich hillbillies and all.
14. Posted by Proteon on July 27, 2006 12:17 PM
well you know what they say: there is no more trustworthy source of information than when it comes from the child of a former celebrity turned pool boy.
15. Posted by PapaHotNuts on July 27, 2006 12:24 PM
Most people don't know this, but I am from Baton Rouge, LA. and for a while, I was driving back and forth to Kentwood, LA to be Brittany's manny. I was fired one afternoon after Brittany caught me feeding the baby vegetables and instructing Kevin on how to mow the lawn. Brittany informed there was no room for nutrition or responsibility in her home. Kevin then fired up a blunt, called me a nigger, and Brittany tossed the baby against the TV to see if he would land on his feet, "all cat-like".
16. Posted by jane's eyre on July 27, 2006 12:29 PM
I like it that Britney has someone else do her firin' for her.
17. Posted by HarryNipples on July 27, 2006 12:31 PM
"I could smell the smell of filthy roadhouse whisky on his breath, and then he took me, and I liked it -
I LIKED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
18. Posted by Spindoc on July 27, 2006 12:32 PM
The best part is, she can't really sue the guy for saying this stuff. He might be a loser pool boy, but his dad is worth probably three times what she is and could afford to bankroll the guys defence. Ha Ha, eat it up like some crawdad etoufe Britt.
Little known fact, Kevin Rubs cheeto dust on his hog to get an occaisional BJ from Britt who usually isn't into that.
19. Posted by HarryNipples on July 27, 2006 12:35 PM
#18...
What a great idea - I will suggest that Colin Farrell anoint his pecker with whisky to facilitate random spontaneous fellatio whenever and wherever he wants it...
Fuck it, I would do it without the whisky...
20. Posted by pinky_nip on July 27, 2006 12:36 PM
She didn't fire her pool boy, she fired her cement pond cleaner-upper.
21. Posted by Reid on July 27, 2006 12:42 PM
With all the legitimate problems the general public could have with Britney (talent, choice in men, baby-rearing styles, etc.), why suddenly are we up in arms because of the word of a pool boy?
Thanks for your opinion, Spicoli. If I had a pool and hired you, and I came outside and saw that suddenly I had TWO worthless bastards standing around it, I'd be pissed too.
She's already got to foot the bills for the babydaddy. Your ass can work for a living.
http://www.reidaboutit.com/blog.htm
22. Posted by Zanna on July 27, 2006 12:44 PM
this better not warrant another fucking interview with Matt Lauer...."ohhhh, they don't understaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand".
@18 - I don't know why..but I love it when someone calls it a "hog". LOVE IT.
23. Posted by ER on July 27, 2006 12:49 PM
If I looked like her and was married to that loser, I'd be mean too!
24. Posted by jrzpussie on July 27, 2006 12:53 PM
DAMN that chick needs that baby aborted out of her and cheetos in her face PRONTO. Alright this link is fucking creepy but it will make your day
http://usmagazine.com/2006/599/morph/morphs.php
Maddox looks like a pedophile
25. Posted by jane's eyre on July 27, 2006 1:10 PM
@24 EEK, Barron Trump looks like Madame Toussad's (sp?) gay Ken (though "gay Ken" is kind of an oxymoron).
26. Posted by Toonlite on July 27, 2006 1:14 PM
See that is what cuntry people and hillbillies do when you start messing with their stuff....pool boy is lucky that Brit didn't pull out a shot gun...."GET OFFA MAH PROPEETY....YA AIN"T WELCOME HEEER YANKEE!!"...
I love hillbillies and cuntry folk...they are sooooooo funny....Cirque should have them on their Vegas shows....I'd SO go.....except the audience would be pulling out shot out of their faces at the end...Dick Cheney would be there...he'd be happy with clown face paint....good times...
27. Posted by CruisingForCock on July 27, 2006 1:16 PM
@17 CARRIE
28. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on July 27, 2006 1:36 PM
She was just jealous because traditionally the pool boy is supposed to flirt/fuck the rich wife when hubby isn't looking. She's gotten so bovine that the dude was chatting up K-Fag instead, her southern pride was hurt. Or she's insecure because K-Fag's been known to dabble in dick every now and again. One could read into this that she came out and discovered the pool boy skimming K-Fag's cock with his tonsils...
29. Posted by twzzlrgirl on July 27, 2006 1:52 PM
So the pool boy and K-fed would talk about music, huh? Two talentless bums talking about their non-existent careers. Great.
Brit, keep the pool boy. At least then YOU don't have to listen to your dirtbag husband go on about his "music."
30. Posted by HolisticWisdomcom on July 27, 2006 1:54 PM
I think she is clearly in denial about what is going on inside her. She wants to proove to the world that she did not make a mistake by marrying K-Fed, but she clearly did. Instead of facing the music and ending a marriage that clearly does not work, she is projecting her anger onto others and lashing out. She is on a sinking ship frantically trying to plug up the holes. Sad really.
This happens to a lot of couples when they are near the end of a relationship and do not have the tools to fix it.
For some long term relationship tips-
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/article_sex_romance_tips.htm
31. Posted by lisad71 on July 27, 2006 2:10 PM
How old is the "pool boy"? There is no way he is the son of the 92 year old gym rat that hawks juicers on QVC.
32. Posted by ANGELKIMMY on July 27, 2006 2:14 PM
she is really a stupid bimbo. i'm sorry. she looks like trailer park trash - pregnancy is supposed to make you glow.
33. Posted by ANGELKIMMY on July 27, 2006 2:14 PM
she is really a stupid bimbo. i'm sorry. she looks like trailer park trash - pregnancy is supposed to make you glow.
34. Posted by ANGELKIMMY on July 27, 2006 2:15 PM
she really looks like trailer trash. pregnancy is supposed to make you glow. she was never really a pretty girl. it was all hair and body. not too many brains either. what a shame.
35. Posted by ANGELKIMMY on July 27, 2006 2:15 PM
she really looks like trailer trash. pregnancy is supposed to make you glow. she was never really a pretty girl. it was all hair and body. not too many brains either. what a shame.
36. Posted by ANGELKIMMY on July 27, 2006 2:15 PM
she really looks like trailer trash. pregnancy is supposed to make you glow. she was never really a pretty girl. it was all hair and body. not too many brains either. what a shame.
37. Posted by Linnea on July 27, 2006 2:22 PM
He's just lucky that she didn't hold him down and drown him in Starbucks. Sweet, delicious Starbucks. What a sugary, caffienated death.
38. Posted by Linnea on July 27, 2006 2:23 PM
He's just lucky that she didn't hold him down and drown him in Starbucks. Sweet, delicious Starbucks. What a sugary, caffienated death.
39. Posted by annebelle on July 27, 2006 2:34 PM
So she fired her pool boy because he sat around talking to her deadbeat husband instead of doing the job she was paying him for. I would have fired his lazy butt too.
40. Posted by gigi33 on July 27, 2006 2:45 PM
Why is Kevin talking to the help anyway? Hello? You're their to do a job. Shut the fuck up and get the leaves out of the pool, pool boy.
41. Posted by britneydrivesmecrazy on July 27, 2006 2:48 PM
This is when I remember waaaaaaaaaay back when... when Britney was still cool and I wasn't sick of defending her.
She always was cooler than Jessica. I miss those days...
42. Posted by bunnyhugger on July 27, 2006 3:13 PM
@24
i thought that was fun!
but WTF is up w/ the current lourdes' eyebrows??? is she a lycanthrope?
43. Posted by bunnyhugger on July 27, 2006 3:14 PM
@24
i thought that was fun!
but WTF is up w/ the current lourdes' eyebrows??? is she a lycanthrope?
44. Posted by bunnyhugger on July 27, 2006 3:16 PM
@24
i thought that was fun!
but WTF is up w/ the current lourdes' eyebrows??? is she a lycanthrope?
45. Posted by Binky on July 27, 2006 3:55 PM
Been busy - so just skimmed the story - but I don't think I would want the guy, 'hanging out' and Jacking his LaLane in my pool either.
And he shouldn't be braggin' to K-Fed about it.
46. Posted by Binky on July 27, 2006 3:56 PM
Been busy - so just skimmed the story - but I don't think I would want the guy, 'hanging out' and Jacking his LaLane in my pool either.
And he shouldn't be braggin' to K-Fed about it.
47. Posted by Sassy on July 27, 2006 4:05 PM
She's just jealous because the pool boy AND a bag of Cheetos are both more attractive than her.
48. Posted by HarryNipples on July 27, 2006 4:18 PM
Britneeeeee, I can see your dirtypillows...
49. Posted by HarryNipples on July 27, 2006 4:19 PM
Britneeeeee, I can see your dirtypillows...
50. Posted by AmandatheWonderful on July 27, 2006 4:21 PM
Who...gives....a....shit? Honestly, I hope this bitch is buying the shit out of some vitamin E, so she doesn't get those unsightly stretch marks, and turns to a life of porn. I'd really rather concentrate on what I'm sure is her MASSIVE vagina getting rammed by an even more MASSIVE black cock, then hear about this bullshit. I'm a girl who loves her porn, what can I say? Anything is better than watching this bitch whine all day, and seeing these pictures of her looking like Little Fucking Debbie from Hooterville, with that possum-kangaroo-baby-esque thing on her hip. Bring back the old Britney and shove some man meat into that shit. Jesus H. Christ!
P.S. I've been trolling this site for months now, highly entertained by the majority of you, and for that, thank you all. But really, a fucking LaLane? Whatthefuckever. ::barf::
51. Posted by AmandatheWonderful on July 27, 2006 4:22 PM
Who...gives....a....shit? Honestly, I hope this bitch is buying the shit out of some vitamin E, so she doesn't get those unsightly stretch marks, and turns to a life of porn. I'd really rather concentrate on what I'm sure is her MASSIVE vagina getting rammed by an even more MASSIVE black cock, then hear about this bullshit. I'm a girl who loves her porn, what can I say? Anything is better than watching this bitch whine all day, and seeing these pictures of her looking like Little Fucking Debbie from Hooterville, with that possum-kangaroo-baby-esque thing on her hip. Bring back the old Britney and shove some man meat into that shit. Jesus H. Christ!
P.S. I've been trolling this site for months now, highly entertained by the majority of you, and for that, thank you all. But really, a fucking LaLane? Whatthefuckever. ::barf::
52. Posted by HarryNipples on July 27, 2006 4:35 PM
Britneeeeee, I can see your dirtypillows...
53. Posted by HarryNipples on July 27, 2006 4:51 PM
Britneeee, I can see your dirtypillows...
54. Posted by HarryNipples on July 27, 2006 4:56 PM
"First thing you know K-fed's a millionaire,
Second thing you know he's in his underwear,
third thing ya know he's layin' by the pool,
Looky, he's suckin' on the poolboy's tool..."
Sung to the Beverly Hillbillies theme song - ain't that the "ceement pond"???
55. Posted by Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest on July 27, 2006 7:02 PM
Is there a new game here at the superficial that I wasn't told about? Who can be the biggest fucktard and have as many repeated posts as possible?? I might as well get started. I usually do pretty well in fucktard olympics.
I live in Fl. and there are shitkickers galore and even THEY look at Britney and K-Fed and call them white trash.
56. Posted by HarryNipples on July 27, 2006 7:19 PM
Yup, I wanna be a BIIIIIG fucktard, the biggest one EVER!! Sorry, it's just hard to type with one hand down my pants...hence the double posts...
Can't explain everyone ELSE'S doubles tho...could be PapaHotNuts server crashing, but last time I saw him his balls were rubbing on K-Fed's chin...
57. Posted by HarryNipples on July 27, 2006 7:22 PM
Wow, #51
Damn girl, you really like it long, hard, black and NASTY!!
58. Posted by duds on July 27, 2006 7:58 PM
Poor Britney, she's such a mess........ What the hell happened?
59. Posted by Tits_McGhee on July 27, 2006 8:58 PM
I can picture it now: It's Wednesday at noon. Kevin and the pool boy are sparking up a doobie (yeah I said doobie, what of it) and are laying by the pool with a bag of Doritos, Ho-Ho's (those are Kev's favs) and Colt 45 (Think of the scene in Billy Madison where Billy and his two stoner friends are hanging out by Billy's pool).
Brit(with mouth full of Cheetos): "What duh fuuuck, Keveen!! Wha arn't chu wurkin on yer songs? And wha arn't YOU cleanin' this darty pool, Tito?!"
Pool Boy: "Uh, my name's Jon, actually."
Brit: "Lahk it matturs! Don't sass me boy! Ah will kick yer ass after ah eat this bag o Cheetos! Don't fuck with mah Kevin Federline! He's mine, ya hear, ya lazy homo!"
Pool Boy: "Uh, I'm actually not gay-"
Kev: "Yeah dogg, he's straight! Nigga wouldn't suck my dick fo nuttin'! Sho nuff!"
Brit: "Sean Preston, Maria, whurd y'all go?? MARIA?! Ah need y'all to go get me sum more Cheetos and Starbucks. Make sure dey put extra whipped cream on it. And make sure dey put extra whipped cream on the coffee too. Oh, and bah the way, Tito?"
Pool Boy: "It's Jon-"
Brit: "Yer fared, boy. Now git da fuck outta mah house."
Kevin: "CALL ME!!"
60. Posted by Sir Psycho Sexy on July 27, 2006 9:14 PM
25. Redundant, but not an oxymoron.
50. I think I'm in lust.
On topic minutiae, Jack LaLanne ( spell check, SF guy ) was born in 1914, and his son worked as Britney's pool boy?
I see a K-Fed vs. Jack LaLanne UFC match in the near future. K-Fed thinks he understands humiliation, having sex with a 'cuntry' cow, but getting your ass pounded by a 92 year old man on pay per view might just take him to another level of shame, ...
http://jonlalanne.com/
61. Posted by bunnyhugger on July 27, 2006 10:05 PM
60
sir (i think i'd prefer to call you sexy, okay?), anyway, last time i heard anything about jack lalanne, he was married to a woman who was, like 30? personally, i'm not THAT into beef jerky, but i'm sure that man is still able to pro-create. that covers the age thing. unless you're talking about maybe pool boy should have a trust fund? can't answer that one.
all i know is, how come shitney gets a young stud as a pool boy, and mine is 50, beer-bellied, balding and chicken legged? damn.
54: excellent!
HEY, JANE! missin' ya at the party!
62. Posted by Amy on July 27, 2006 10:48 PM
As for Britney being mean...anyone remember this little incident?
http://www.thesuperficial.com/2005/08/29/britney_spears_99.html
Sort of backs up the whole thing about her yelling and being controlling. Taking her pregnancy anger out on innocent bystanders...shame...
63. Posted by slinkhard on July 28, 2006 5:33 AM
I'm afraid I can't trust the word of a man who willingly admits to befriending Kevin Federline.
64. Posted by EchoEcho on July 28, 2006 9:54 AM
#60 You're right! I was wondering just how old Jon LaLane was because Jack Lalane is 90! Jon is around 43 and a pool boy! Please!!!!
65. Posted by LickyLicky on July 28, 2006 10:38 AM
Gah. I love how they morph all those kids into nice looking, decent, clean-cut people when you know they are not all going to look like that.
Anyway, I spoke with a guy the other day who claims he used to tour with Brit as a bodyguard, and of course, not being a star-fuck, I didn't ply him with inane, personal questions about her (whether he knew the answers or not is irrelevant; the fact is he wanted to talk about his *ahem* big career move). Instead, I told him the only thing I think of when I think of her: She's a hick, always has been, always will be, it's just now oozing out of her pores because she doesn't have handlers on top of her every move.
Her downward spiral is sad, but always seemed inevitable.
66. Posted by Nikky Raney on July 28, 2006 10:49 AM
dumbass.
67. Posted by chortle on July 28, 2006 11:15 AM
this photo of brit and the kid looks waxier than shiloh and her 'rents..........
68. Posted by Libraesque on July 28, 2006 11:54 AM
AAWWW SHIIIIT there goes the coffee right outta my nose. Whoever writes this shit is my hero
69. Posted by HarryNipples on July 28, 2006 12:09 PM
POPOZAO...
Ancient Hottentot word - very vague meaning throughout history, loosely translated to mean "Yo baby, stick that big poolboy schlong up my poopchute, muthafucker"...
70. Posted by flamarkel on July 28, 2006 12:46 PM
I think I saw a reality show about them recently. Britney was hanging around by the pool, which she called the "cee-ment pond," and K-Fed thought he was a double-naught spy and was practicing his gazintas (2 gazinta 4 ....). Oh, yeah, Britney's granny was kept nipping at the "rheumatis' medicine" and their neightbor, I think she was a banker's wife, kept threatening to call the cops. It was quite fascinating.
71. Posted by justme on July 28, 2006 2:09 PM
She's trying to delay the inevitable.. Greasy Kfed will cheat on her and leave.. I don't doubt that he's already cheated on her many times. He knows that she knows and that's why she's calling the shots.
That's what you get when you marry a guy who left his girlfriend and 2 kids to be with you.
72. Posted by MadSeason on July 29, 2006 7:23 PM
“I was hanging out a little bit,” ex-employee Jon LaLane told In Touch Weekly. “She came out screaming at Kevin for lying around, then looked at me like I was to blame.”
Sounds like a dirty romance novel to me.
73. Posted by Siren on August 7, 2006 6:59 AM
That was kind of mean to do BUT I WOULD ALSO DO THAT ANYWAY.
So i think its a good idea.
74. Posted by Why Do You Care? on August 10, 2006 2:51 PM
OH MY GOD! You are all scum bags as far as I'm concered! Maybe she is mean...but you would all get a little testy if friggen paparazzi followed you around 24/7. And isn't there just a little possibility that the "pool boy" was a little mad that Britney fired him and wanted his revenge. He prob. said all those things because he was mad at Britney. You scum bags should get a life!!!!