Jul 20 2006Britney Spears hires a new manny

First biatch!

I hate britney

Thank God for the mannies -- it's the only time the kid looks taken care of. Note to Brit -- kid out of the sun, not slumped over, in a stroller.

And, if I were here, i'd see myself photographed with some normal looking guy, realize I was married to K-fed, and cry myself to sleep.

oops, if i were her, not "here."

It must be so degrading to be that man...

http://www.VeryLiberating.com

#5 Only if he's very lucky SoftBlueGlow

Oh. Shit. I said that out loud.

That guy looks like Miami Vice-The Later Years.

Nice Cankles. Still, I'd hit that...

The kid looks well and safe in the stroller. Even Britney looks pretty decent, she's covered for the most part and isn't wearing high heels. Unlike F-Fed, mannys seem to do wonders for both Britney and Sean Preston!

Ladies !! Gentlemen!! Midgets!!

I GIVE YOU:

THE GIANT CANCkLE CREATURE!!!!!!!

He looks like the kind of redneck that will make you pick between "switches 'er a paddlin" if you act up. She should have stuck with the better looking one. I cannot think of a single reason why the new guy should not hate life.

In other news: Somalia was invaded by Ethiopia............no seriously thats the joke

K-Fed, not F-Fed. Duh.

of course, she's gotta have at least ONE strap hanging off of her--She's country!!
Is she packin' twins? When is she due, like, tomorrow? Man, she's big! I thought celebs only gain 8 pounds when they're pregnant and all have 6-lb babies?

she's fat...a piece of advice....gym ;)

13 -- no, I like F-Fed. or F---Fed.

I get the need for a body guard, I really do. But push your own goddamn stroller!!!

http://wobblybitsgirl.blogspot.com/

Anyone ever think that porky Britney's revolving security men is to get bottom Federline jealous? She wants us to see her hair color change and her burly stallions. Somethings' afoot.
Will she mount them?

Does she chew bubblegum while guarded for a stroll with Rambo?
How often does she twirl her hair or throw it back with Liz Taylor abandon?
Is she getting a pregnant jones for some heated military beef? Is Kevin? heh heh......

In her own way, Britney is getting a taste test of the macho wares for future reference. The stormtrooper swooping down on her-muscles rippling -scoops her up in a perilous rescue

#17 - That is a physical impossibility. She's already chewing gum, walking and talking on the phone. If she was also given charge of the stroller, she'd push it in front of a bus.

Fugyourself, you're normally really funny. However, in light of post #18, I would like to motion that your name be changed to herbiefrog.

14. Yeah, but this is Britney - You can take the girl out of the cuntry etc. She's going for the 'vest wearing, trailer trash living off bags of cheetos' kind of look.

#20 I had fried frogs for lunch today......

This website is fast becoming the number one Britney Spears fansite. Half of the news on here is about her.

Why did she get preggers again? She's too worried about her damn cell phone. She needs sterilization.
As for Affleck, about time he got a job that he can actually do well.

Not a fan of the music but it's too bad how things are right now she could really sing, even as a kid. Talk about melodramatic. Check her out about 7:11 minutes into the vid...

http://www.exposay.com/celebrity-stars-before-they-were-stars/v/2736/

I didn't realize that certain women got pregnant in their thighs.

atleast she is wearing shoes.

I just got a letter in the mail from Dr. Rokter. He's been in Costa Rica delivering malnourished babies with the Doctor's Without Border's organization (Medicins Sans Frontiers).

Hello all,

Nothing's fun after 4 a.m. in Costa Rica. Hurl time. Woke up next to my wooden ass-tank
again. The vodka is killer. Have chronic ass-piss. Can hardly remember the sound of plopping dung and that cool-chill-splash-rimmer that hits my bunghole just right. I'm also becoming a kleptomaniac. You should see the collection of bar ashtrays I have shoved in my 100% cotton Dockers. I was a Pall Bearer at Abdul Ababwars funeral but I was so drunk I was leaning on the coffin instead of carrying it. Tori? I think we'd make a pretty zani duo, lots of mugging, ad libbing and horsing around... hrrrrrrrrrmmmmmm.

(note: that's some pretty crappy onomatopoeia, but how else do you spell(ing) the sound a horse makes. Hold that ghost I'll get a camera!!!).

Babylonian kings had their names imprinted on temple bricks. Early Greeks hung written curses on public statues in hopes of bringing devine vengeance on thieves. I have a tattoo inscribed with micro lasers on the inside of my right femur that reads, "Back In 5 minutes, Have Some Peanuts", in case I'm ever abducted by an alien life-force that should keep them occupied for a while. That is unless I'm in a terrible combine accident and my right leg gets all mangled than it might read, "I Had a 5 Inch Penis, Suck my nuts." Which should also keep them ocupied for a while.

I love you all very much.
Take care,

Leopold Ignacious Rokter III OB/GYN

#28.
So are you Dr. Rokter as well then? (And you pretended so well the other day you didn't know how to change your screen name.) I always enjoyed his comments.

Yeah, I miss Dr. Rokter. He volunteered to deliver my baby, but I told him I wasn't even pregnant. He said that didn't matter, so I humored him and got in the stirrups.

Conversation between Britney and Ben Affleck (not reported by the Superfish)

Britney: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
Ben Affleck: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Britney: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
Ben Affleck: Yes, pregnancy.

For those of you curious, Dr Rokter was sent to Cost Rica due to all the mal-practice suits he acquired in The United States. Who knew using more than one finger during a 'Rectal Exam' was mal-practice. It's an honest mistake. Anyway, that is how we met and have been great friends ever since, and I will always support him in everything he does.

For those of you curious, Dr Rokter was sent to Cost Rica due to all the mal-practice suits he acquired in The United States. Who knew using more than one finger during a 'Rectal Exam' was mal-practice. It's an honest mistake. Anyway, that is how we met and have been great friends ever since, and I will always support him in everything he does.

Sorry about the double post...damn computer. ERROR ERROR!!!!

Why is it that she can never keep her clothes from falling off her body?

That's the director for "Pregnant Cuntry Whores 11". I know because I've seen 1-10... fucking classics... I especially like how he anally devirginizes them, then when they think it's over and only have to endure one ass to mouth money shot, he calls in the bukkake boys to spackle her like Mexican day laborers on a holey wall. Good times man, good times.

These will be days long remebered, while Dr. Rokter lays a path of genital destruction, Israel lays the smackdown on Hezbollah, they just put a missile thru some asshole's living room and laid waste to his sorry ass Hoorah!!!

#36

since britney is anally devirginized, is it physically possible for her to give birth through her bunghole??

"And then dedicating his life to saving children and punching bad guys in the face. And maybe curing cancer. I'm also filthy rich and a fox in bed. Call me, ladies."

Oh Mr. Superficial... who are you? When can we meet so that I can marry you? Or at least talk shit on all the stupid celebrities out there? A man this witty cannot be straight. Sigh.

For fuck's sake, has the person who used to do the Superficial been raped and killed? The reason I ask is because I'm sure this site used to be funny...

Is that the Moustache Man that tried to catch poor Sean P. when Brit tripped in New York?

@36 I devirgined her ass with my face, completely on accident; I was 69-ing her and I was on the bottom and she passed out, and her huge ass like engulfed my entire head, I almost suffocated. Thank God the 'kerknockerknock' woke her up, it was a close one.

Kerknockerknock: v. When a female sits too
far down on your face and you can't breathe, so you knock on the small of her back in rapid succession until she realizes she is sitting too far down on your face and you cannot breathe, and she sits up a bit.

#42

holy shit that's a nasty thought...

did she yell 21, 43, 69 hut hut hut and yanked at your weiner and if so do you still have one.

#41, I think it is the same. The hairline is different, and in these pics he looks a little, I don't know, Cheetohs cheese-puffier, than in the pics a couple of months ago. But I'd swear the 70's porn star 'stache is the same.

@44 you are one twisted ponie. It was a harrowing experience-- nothing to joke about. Do you have any idea how long it took to get the smell out of my hair?-- Or the months I had to endure being called ASSHEAD! I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Thankfully, my weiner is still intact.

Britney's phone conversation:

"So I was like, 'Wait til you see what I did to my hair this week'...and she was like 'No way, the extensions?' and I was like 'Yep, I don't know what all the fuss is about, ya'll, they keep taking pictures of me, so I change my hair' Tee! Hee! Hee! (that's a giggle) And then she was like 'I wonder how they knew it was you then' and I was like 'I know ya'll, they are always hounding me...just leave me alone for pete's sake, I'm just a girl tryin to live the dream...Kev understands what it's like, he understands me, he's the only one...wait hold on...Manny, I smell shit, change the baby's diaper."

Manny: "Ugh!"

Britney: "Do it fucker. So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah...she was like....."

i'd still hit it

I don't care if you didn't find it funny, it seemed funny to me at the time.

I'm so burnt out on Britney, her baby, her men, her cankles, and that fucking hair this was the only thing I could think of.

#42

Fucking hilarious. I'm thinking about auditioning for "Pregnant Cuntry Whores 12: Cars on Bricks". I hope I don't have to stick my head in her ass, accidentally or otherwise... I dare say, that practically makes you K-Fed, so you might want to go visit a museum or listen to some classical music to combat your probable urges to chew tobacky and scratch yourself in public. Or smoke a joint, that always works for me.

She really doesnt care how she comes across as a mother. Talking on the phone while the nanny pushes her child around. Why exactly does she needa nanny to do that?

#31, ya know, I was thinking the Manny looked alot like Ben Affleck as "Holden McNeil" from "Chasing Amy".
Ben Affleck. What a wuss. He wishes he had a pussy so he could actually give birth. Maybe in his next life he'll come back as a Seahorse.

@50 I'm glad you found my nightmare humorous. However, If anyone wants to know the secret of getting the smell of ass out their hair.

*****************
Buy a bottle of Sno Bol (Extra Strength)
You know that blue stuff you use to clean the rim of your toilet, and also if used as a hypothermic-blow-dart can kill an elephant.
********************

Pour it in your toilet and all over your head (avoid contact with eyes, I had an old pair of swimming goggles... seemed to work o.k.) stick your head in the toilet and flush like 20 times. That did the trick for me, but it took months to figure out the Sno Bol secret to getting rid of that rank bung!!!!

Pert and Finesse do not work to alleviate Ass-head!

Sincerely,
Hopeless, ) a.k.a Mr. Stinky Skull
a.k.a Asshead.

This story would be a lot more interesting if the 70's porn star happened to be the father of the baby in the stroller, or the one in the bovine fuck sack that Britney calls a uterus.

Make it so, number one.

51. If Britney had to take care of a baby without adult supervision, it wouldn't last a week, duct taped to the bumper of her car, dropped from a ferris wheel, drowned in a jacuzzi, ... because she's 'cuntry'.

#51 so true!

If she wasnt Britney, her child would have been taken away a long time ago by social services, and the other at birth. shes an endangerment to kids. thats not the only reason. she wore a red spandex suit. she should be arrested. ugly fucking hick.

She looks really stoned. Good drugs make me see babies too.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/07/20/people.remini.ap/index.html

WOW! Brit looks SOOOO good these days. Her hair is perfect, her skin glowing. Except for the baby bump, she could pose for Playboy. She's awesomely beautiful and SP is the cutest baby in the world. The only thing missing from these photos is her handome hot hubby. He must have been at work. I love the Federlines! More, more, more!!!

The Nanny looks like Johnny Drama, I guess Arie finally found him a gig?

That's not Ben; K-Fed is just on the Britney diet.

OH SNAP!

It took Michael Jackson about 15 years to rise to stardom and fall to freakdom. Britney's gonna do it in 5. Soon she'll have 12 kids, lose a front tooth, and live in the worlds biggest two story trailer.

http://ultrarealism.blogspot.com/

So that's Baby-Catchin' Man?

And is it my imagination or does SPF look MUCH more alert in these pics than in many others, where he just looks perpetually stoned? Maybe Britney gives him pot from Poppa Kevin's stash to keep him from crying, y'all.

SPF is sporting a mohawk, I imagine he'll have a rat tail in few years so he'll fit in with the rest of the kids in the trailor park.

@12- italian stallion. oh, just keep us all rolling with those witty comments of yours you FUCKTARD. Get a life, maybe get a fucking job and do something more productive you worthless piece of shit!

I don't get Stallion at all. He makes jokes about African countries and when someone says "greaseball", he gets a wedgie or something.

http://www.thesuperficial.com/2006/07/20/nicole_richie_is_malnourished.html#comment-88159

Don't dish it if you can't take it.

@63&64: Yeah, you two couldn't get Stallion if you have a magical vagina.

*sniff* My feelings are hurt now. How will I finish my day?

If memory serves, wasn't Twitney's Ben Affleck obsession one of reasons she and Timberfuck broke up in the first place? Maybe she demanded that the manny cut and dye his hair and grow that horribly wrong goatee to look more like good old Ben to fulfill her "fantasy." Ugh, just made myself puke.

All women should have a manny... and a great sex toy-

http://www.holisticwisdom.com/sex-toys.htm

Justin Timberlake is pussy-whipped! I'm sure he'll nanny for free.

http://www.exposay.com/it-was-love-at-first-sight-for-timberlake/v/2757/

call me a little southern girl but these comments went beyond even my ability to appreciate them - they went from funny to straight up dirty. this is what happens when the superficial starves us from stories. we go all binge and purge up in this joint. it ain't pretty. come on there's got to be something about anna nicole smith you can post. COME ON. PLEASE I NEED A STORY.

@63 Who the fuck are you anyway and why do I care. Oh yea, thats right, I don't. When have you ever contributed something witty or funny to this site? I could give a shit about this fat trick and her fucking manny's. I had just heard that on the radio and it sounded pretty funny. Ethiopia invading Somalia, I mean come on. I must have offended you by that comment. Let me guess, you were one ugly gene away from picking bananas in some third world country, huh? I have a life and a job fuckface so come up with something a little more clever next time. I'm not the one on here all fucking day leaving fifty fucking comments. I come here during the day when I'm bored at work to get a laugh, so fuck off...............

@64 I'm not offended at the greaseball comment, I actually find it funny, I was just fucking with that idiot because of the "My family has been here for 200 years" and all that shit. So sorry if you think that of me..................

Of course Shitney has cankles, she eats 43 bags of Cheetos every day. And the only time her son isn't in jeopardy is when she has that man servant around.

@71 Stallion, add me to your list of chicks that love you.
You are my hero. You tell them!

Johnny Drama got a job!

everyone seems to be hung up on brit's weight she is like 6 7 mos pregnant and just had a baby like what 10 mos ago id say shes not doing too bad if she were still thin everyone would just say shes anorexic she just cant win either way

28 - That letter was totally fake. If it was real there would be a whole lot more mention of crazy pussy-eating contests in the rainforest canopy, because I've vacationed with the Doctor before and that's how he likes to unwind. Faker!

Even before she was pregnant I don't think anyone would ever mistake Britney for an anorexic. It's seems like she's always fought to keep weight off since she was a teenager. She has a pear shaped body and it's easy to see why she piles on the pounds when she's walking around drinking the super big gulp sized sodas and frappacinos. You have to give a shit about what actually goes into your body to stay in shape. This heffer obviously does not.

@63 - Wait don't tell me...you're SOMALIAN.

@63 if your gonna bitch about someone at least be original "fucktard", do you even know what it means at your age.

let me explain in the simplest form.

fuck = an elongated object with a rounded tip, inserted into a circular\ellipse object followed by a gyration motion

tard = see "amjxray"

Q: How do you kill a fly?

A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a shovel.

Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?

A: You know she'll swallow.

Hey, Stallion...FUGGEDABOUDIT! Lol

@81 You are a racist. I make a joke about flies and shovels, but you had to make fun of a starving person.

@83: It's okay... I can make that joke because I swallow too and I'm not even 1/16th Ethopian. I'm just slutty.

Had a dream the other day where I was ramming Mr. Johnson in the only tight hole left in Mrs. Federline. She was screaming "Don't stop, Please don't stop" or maybe it was "Stop, please dont, stop please ..." what-ever. Anyway, all of a sudden, this tiny little head starts popping out her vagina. Well, I hadn't finished making my chocolate marshmallow sunday in her rectum, so I start pushing the head back in ......

All of a sudden, I find myself buck ass naked in a drunken, drug induced stupor, surrounded by NY police, being pulled off of this cheesey statue of Brittany giving birth on all fours holding onto this dead bears head.

That's it. I swearing off snorting Crystal Meth, and washing down LSD with a pink of Everclear.

From not on it's lime flavored gin. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Better a manny--or anyone at all, really--than Britney caring for the kid herself. At least the manny won't drop the kid. Or pose nude in Bazaar.

http://glossedover.com

@84 - Wait a minute...you don't have to be a slut to swallow. I swallow all the time and.....

never mind.

Um,

That guy has been her main bodygaurd for like 5 years. He used to have a mustache, seriously he's been around since like the "Ooops I did it again" days -

why did I know that *sobs*

Notice how we see all these pictures of her with her Mannys and the baby, but never with her Mom. Her family must really hate her for marrying that douche-bag K-Fag. Otherwise why wouldn't we see her Mom with her once in awhile while she's out walking around with her underwear hanging out and being a bad mother?

She's most likely on the phone to White Castle to make sure she doesn't have to wait for her bag of sliders once they get there.

@81 & 81

Ethiopian 14 year old has mid-life crisis.

**********************
That one may take a minute to sink in.
******************

Hopeless

@81 & 81

Ethiopian 14 year old has mid-life crisis.

**********************
That one may take a minute to sink in.
******************

Hopeless

sorry about the double post. sucks

#10, LOL!!!!!!

She's so heinous.

She spends the past year lugging this fat kid around in her arms like a bobble-head doll, tripping over cracks in the sidewalks & almost killing him and NOW that she finally invested in a stroller she hires someone to push it around for her?
Lazy good-for-nothing fat pig trashfuck.

Britney is sexy

What's with white trash chicks and cell phones?