June 26, 2006
Paris Hilton ruins families

It's old news that Paris Hilton was spotted in Montreal partying with hockey player Jose Theodore, but it's now being reported that their relationsihp has caused Theodore's girlfriend of eight years to break up with him and kick him out of the house despite him being the father of their three-month-old daughter. The Canadian TV network TQS reports: “Stephanie Cloutier has kicked Theo out of her life and her house.”
This is some classic Paris Hilton action we've got going on. Anybody can meet strange guys at a club and give them their diseases, but only a professional like Paris can pinpoint the one who has a long time girlfriend and a child who was born prematurely. She's like Aquaman, only instead of having super powers she breaks up homes and leaves babies without fathers. Which is actually nothing like Aquaman at all. He talks to dolphins.
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» Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban get married» Paris Hilton might be Britney Spears
» Britney Spears still has black hair
» Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban do the prenup
» Sienna Miller is my hero


Comments
1. Posted by MeanNate on June 26, 2006 12:53 PM
There's a Britney Spears joke in here somewhere...
2. Posted by curliegirlie on June 26, 2006 12:54 PM
oh who cares about this chick Paris already, these has got to be something more interesting going on....
3. Posted by jane's eyre on June 26, 2006 12:56 PM
Well, if he was putting out "available" vibes, then it's as much his fault as it is hers. I say that he's the worse of the two--he's got a long-term girlfriend, AND a 3 month old? Creep.
4. Posted by pop on June 26, 2006 12:57 PM
this happened in TORONTO at the much music video awards not MONTREAL - get your facts right...this very same story was already reported 1.5 weeks ago:
www.popculturepundit.blogspot.com
5. Posted by imabeeatch on June 26, 2006 12:58 PM
PHLOPC
6. Posted by LongTimeFan on June 26, 2006 1:03 PM
Aquaman? Sounds like somebody's been watching too much "Entourage".
7. Posted by kloo on June 26, 2006 1:06 PM
she looks like a herpe.
8. Posted by baratdoherty on June 26, 2006 1:07 PM
This happened in Toronto, not Montreal (at the MMVAs in Toronto). Its a HUGE story in Montreal though, because he a a montreal born player. Anyhow, I HATE parasite, but this isn't her fault. I seriously doubt she even knew who he was, let alone that he was engaged with a 3 month old premature baby. I DO get your point though....it is funny how she somehow picks the taken guys, whether intentional or not.
9. Posted by waterranger on June 26, 2006 1:09 PM
boooooooooooooooo on paris
in other news, i got to touch the stanley cup on sunday!!!!!!
10. Posted by Jacq on June 26, 2006 1:12 PM
He already has one baby without herpes. So I can totally see how he'd just say "fuck it all!!"
Guys are slaves to the poon. Even Paris poon.
While he's playing hockey, it's herpes on the rocks. Straight up.
11. Posted by twzzlrgirl on June 26, 2006 1:20 PM
I can't stand Paris Hilton, but this guy must be a first-class jerk to run around on his girlfriend -- especially once they have a child. He and K-Fed have a lot in common.
Although, come to think of it, if he's a first-class jerk, he and Paris belong together...
12. Posted by Chase on June 26, 2006 1:20 PM
But she kinda LOOKS like a dolphin...so I can see where you were going with that. Though, do dolphins cause rashes?
13. Posted by Binky on June 26, 2006 1:23 PM
As I said the other day - they have a lot in common.
Neither can stop anything aimed at their Five-hole.
14. Posted by YouWannaBMe on June 26, 2006 1:24 PM
Smart girlfriend that Jose character has... Paris was innocently trying to spread her disease, people. How was she supposed to know the guy's background right off the bat? HE, on the other hand, she know it to be common knowledge that when you see Paris Herpes you must try to cover all orfices and put a lock on your zipper.
15. Posted by Queen LaQueefah on June 26, 2006 1:24 PM
She doesn't talk to dolphins, she merely flogs them. ALL of them.
16. Posted by Tebrich on June 26, 2006 1:26 PM
Paris is the most dangerous crotch in the world. Stories like this should be published and republished. For our safety.
17. Posted by Jacq on June 26, 2006 1:26 PM
#4 - You are correct that it was in Toronto. What was originally reported was that they were spotted together even though he had a GF and a NEW baby. This is the update that their daughter was released from the hospital within the last few days and her kicking him out is very fresh.
18. Posted by cruzin333 on June 26, 2006 1:30 PM
How anyone would be stupid enough to cheat on their baby momma with that parasite is beyond me. He had to know she'd been with half the guys in the world and has herpes.
But I guess, like #11 said, if he was that dumb and that desperate, they belong together!
19. Posted by jFp on June 26, 2006 1:31 PM
This guy digs trash. I didn't know who these pond-scum dwellers were so I had to look up Stephanie Cloutier. It may be that this guy just follows his nose....
and likes that rotting fish smell.
20. Posted by cruzin333 on June 26, 2006 1:31 PM
But I'm all for the girlfriend kicking him out. She doesn't want any infectious diseases, after all.
21. Posted by Karyn Taylor on June 26, 2006 1:31 PM
Is there anyone in any country that she hasn't screwed around with or screwed up their life? And isn't she with someone, a Greek heir or a football play or something? Does she really have something that all these men want?
22. Posted by lisad71 on June 26, 2006 1:35 PM
If it wasn't Herpe Hilton ruining this relationship, it would have been Firecrotch Blohan.
23. Posted by biatcho on June 26, 2006 1:43 PM
'member when that guy from the Toronto Maple Leafs fucked somebody else & dumped Alanis Morrissete, causing her to write that ridiculousy angry lesbian-esque song about getting dumped by some guy who fucked somebody else. That was awesome.
24. Posted by Jacq on June 26, 2006 1:45 PM
#21 - Apparently, that something is burning during urination.
25. Posted by blueballs on June 26, 2006 2:03 PM
See, told ya she'd spread her STDS all over Candada! She's doing what we did to the indians to wipe out those pesky canucks!
26. Posted by PapaHotNuts on June 26, 2006 2:06 PM
She fucked him because he told her that he would score a touchdown just for her.
27. Posted by twzzlrgirl on June 26, 2006 2:08 PM
#25 -- Not just Canada, but all over the world (stopping to use the toilet at a German farmhouse???). I think she's with some government working on germ warfare. The girl is a biohazard...
28. Posted by sharkbite on June 26, 2006 2:19 PM
Eight years? Good god. I'd be demanding a ring after five. I would have kicked him out, too!
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
29. Posted by Karen Rani on June 26, 2006 2:29 PM
This isn't the first time Jose has strayed, apparently.
West Nile, Mad Cow and now Parisite. That's what us Canadians need, eh?
30. Posted by jenny4a20 on June 26, 2006 2:37 PM
She didnt do anything wrong...what is he doing out at a club anyway with baby-mama at home?
31. Posted by ESQ on June 26, 2006 2:40 PM
Funny this dude, Jose Theodore, does resemble Adrien Greiner of "Entourage" whose character did play "Aquaman" on the show...nice subliminal message here...
Pee-pee Hilton really knows how to score points with women. Soon every body will hate her for 1) stealing their man or 2) giving them some new venereal disease. Way to go!
32. Posted by Trixie on June 26, 2006 2:42 PM
Paris Hilton is like dog shit. She is everywhere. One night I see pictures of her in Germany, and the next she is partying in New York City. The following night she is seen in Australia, followed by the next night in Tahiti. She must be on some type of speed, because I dont know anyone with that kind of energy. Just sick of her face..
33. Posted by UNWASHEDMASSES on June 26, 2006 2:43 PM
Someone better check and make sure Paris is not responsible for breaking up the Backdoor Boys as well. And giving them herpes.
34. Posted by hisforalways on June 26, 2006 3:02 PM
#8 Yeah right. I'm sure she knew perfectly well by either (a)he showed her a picture of his baby, I don't know any guy who has a newborn and isn't cramming it down everyone's throat or (b)Paris is like that psychotic woman from the Problem Child sequel and the instant she met him had his entire history and permanent record looked up.
I'd say both. Paris is a stupid slut.
35. Posted by hisforalways on June 26, 2006 3:03 PM
#8 Yeah right. I'm sure she knew perfectly well by either (a)he showed her a picture of his baby, I don't know any guy who has a newborn and isn't cramming it down everyone's throat or (b)Paris is like that psychotic woman from the Problem Child sequel and the instant she met him had his entire history and permanent record looked up.
I'd say both. Paris is a stupid slut.
36. Posted by hisforalways on June 26, 2006 3:06 PM
didn't mean to post twice. sorry.
37. Posted by Skönflicka on June 26, 2006 3:25 PM
Jose Theodore has already cheated on girlfriend Stephanie Cloutier last year with actress/chanteuse Caroline Neron. He's the stupid one in that story.
38. Posted by RichPort on June 26, 2006 4:02 PM
She's like Aquaman in that she smells like salty cod. Salty end-of-man mutant herpes festering cod. Yea, exactly like Aquaman.
39. Posted by Craig & "em" on June 26, 2006 4:02 PM
I just don't get it!
I mean...I know plenty of petite, cock-eyed, herpes invested blondes, and I'm not attracted to them at all.
NOW...I've had sex with them...but I only do that out of sheer pity!
40. Posted by Reli on June 26, 2006 4:04 PM
Hey, it's his fault for being stupid enough to do it. What goes around comes around.
41. Posted by gigi33 on June 26, 2006 4:11 PM
What a complete dick. I can't believe he's such a fucking looser. We already new Paris was a slut. By the way, wasnt' she just seen fucking some football player? Who's next. Lance Armstrong? The New York Nicks? I know!!!! Greg Louganis!!! there's a challenge.
42. Posted by superhumanben on June 26, 2006 4:27 PM
Agreed Reli. He's got just as much to do with it as she does. He's a big boy. If he didn't want to risk things with his girlie he wouldn't even have been seen by that hoochie!
43. Posted by schism on June 26, 2006 4:31 PM
Paris and Aquaman do have exactly one all-encompassing thing in common; they both are totally useless outside of their assigned abilities, which are themselves useless.
44. Posted by YouWannaBMe on June 26, 2006 4:31 PM
Women: This may be the perfect weapon we've always waited for!!!
In order to take over the world and rid the planet of useless men, we should entice them using Paris Herpes as bait, and make them all fly to a secluded island where they can all take turns banging Paris and therefore killing themselves with her VD. It's so perfect!!
45. Posted by Courtney on June 26, 2006 4:55 PM
Does Paris Hilton sponsor this site or something? Why else would every other "story" be about her. She's really not that interesting. Like, seriously.
46. Posted by Jacq on June 26, 2006 5:57 PM
People should desintegrate when they touch her crotch much in the way that they do when the aliens shoot people in Mars Attacks.
47. Posted by jane's eyre on June 26, 2006 6:19 PM
46
Ehh ehh--EHHH! Nyeh ehh ehh ehh!
Love that movie. Plus, Sarah Jessica Parker's head gets transplanted onto a chihuahua--what could be more sublime?
48. Posted by yuckyfresh on June 26, 2006 6:23 PM
eh. who cares?
49. Posted by Shelley Bonnechance on June 26, 2006 6:27 PM
Well, it's not like we didn't already know that she's a skank ho or anything. Why should we be surprised that she ruins families?
50. Posted by bunnyhugger on June 26, 2006 7:22 PM
@ waterranger #9
cool, dude! i'm adding you to my list of heroes!
#21 says:
"Does she really have something that all these men want?"
it's called MONEY. moola. sometimes referred to as *clams*
i absolute agree, tho, HE is the asshole this time. i never understood the theory behind the woman wanting to kick the mistress' ass, but taking the BF back. he's the one cheating, for god's sake.
asshat. with fruit salad.
51. Posted by HandsOfGod on June 26, 2006 7:35 PM
Somebody please sew this woman's vagina shut. That would at least clear up 40% of this country's STDs. Or better yet, have her stay in Canada, permanently.
52. Posted by alaskanchicsickle on June 26, 2006 8:01 PM
@51 Do you hate Canada that much?
53. Posted by jeanine on June 26, 2006 8:19 PM
He's been tainted.
54. Posted by Godiva on June 26, 2006 9:51 PM
This was too funny, yet too true. For some reason, Ms. Hilton thinks it's cool to be seen with a different guy almost every night. I not only wonder what her parents think, but what her gyno thinks as well. She's not only carrying around the latest purses, but a host of STD's as well. I can't figure out for the life of me what the interest is in a used up socialite who's only talent is looking into a camera lens.
55. Posted by HandsOfGod on June 26, 2006 11:34 PM
Re:52
No, I love Canada that much.
56. Posted by Merebear on June 26, 2006 11:34 PM
Ok. I sent in a comment with a link to the ex-girlfirend's pic. It is pending and may not be approved? Perhaps I shall try again.
57. Posted by Merebear on June 26, 2006 11:40 PM
I was only trying to say that while the ex had little to no fashion sense, as least she wasn't a walking genital sore. See if this link flies....
(abandoned this for Herpe Hilton)
http://community.webshots.com/photo/57369683/1057370106034228639xpxzPw#
58. Posted by FecalPellets on June 27, 2006 12:39 AM
These guys are beyond stupid. What part of "Paris has Herpes" do they not understand?
59. Posted by here on June 27, 2006 3:15 AM
The hockey player. Stripteasing for the Knicks/Giants the other night. Matt Leinart a month ago. The wealthy Greek dude. Her approach must be irresistible, but I don't get it. There are chicks in offices three times as hot. Myself, I'm sticking with fat, mentally ill women.
60. Posted by Danni on June 27, 2006 4:14 AM
This is his fault, he is the one with the girlfriend and the child, he is a faithless jerk. Paris was just offering a service, he is the wanker who took advantage of it
61. Posted by WorldWideWendy on June 27, 2006 4:32 AM
The man is a hockey player.
He understands fast cold pucks.
That's hot.
62. Posted by WorldWideWendy on June 27, 2006 6:12 AM
Forgot the word hard.
Fast cold HARD pucks.
Now THAT'S hot.
63. Posted by herbiefrog on June 27, 2006 3:36 PM
#0
...just realised we never posted
...a reply to this...
...so hey paris babe
...in a heartbeat
just like every other fucker :)
...oh fuck
...what a givaway?
...let's wait for the mib look
or at least the next thread
and she's in london
or somewhere close
same time zone?
fuuuuuuck :)