Jun 8 2006Paris Hilton is better than cripples

wow, she's the worst.

Meh!

Maybe she counts the Wonky Eye as a handicap.

And the herp.

she does this all the time, @ lisa kline & hollywood ave boutique. maybe she realy is handicapped!

Are those new cans?

Mental handicap?

what a whore. You can park a truck in a "small car" spot, but you CANNOT park in a handicapped spot UNLESS YOU ARE HANDICAPPED or taking your grandmother (who is in a wheelchair) out shopping. Its just rude.

Not Hot, Paris, that is NOT hot.

#5 Hollywood Avenue would know all about Paris, as the link in their name seems to be where Paris buys all her clothes.

What a bitch. If she's too lazy to hoof it, she surely could hire someone to carry her around. Dumb.

1986 called--they want their sunglasses back.

I wonder how much she paid for those stupid things. And a MATCHING HEADBAND, for the love of pete.

They look like she won them at Chuck E. Cheese's. And by "won", I mean she climbed up into to skee ball game and dropped the balls into the "500" hole.

Who does this little cunt think she is? Or maybe herpes is considered a disability - maybe she should put a big sticker on her car with a picture of a big, red running sore on it...

Ecchhh...if I was Leinart I don't know if I would want the whole 'hood to know that I was slipping my wick into that overworked slit that's had God-Only-Knows-Who in there before him...it must be like "one stop shopping" you can fuck half of West Hollywood all at once...she should park in the back or take the bus like all the other hookers...

PEOPLE-PEOPLE-PLEAZZZZEE!!!

DO WE HAVE PROOF THAT SHE IS NOT RETARDED?!!??!

Look at that picture-
Whoever is on the other line of that cell phone- all they're hearing is the ocean..

I think the writer is being too kind--an IQ of a ferret is a tad too generous. And cute.

I'm thinking the IQ of the betta fish in my kid's room.

i bet she can't even see any of those signs with those huge sunglasses.

and whoa. since when does PARIS drive HERSELF anywhere? how do you know she isn't driven by some handicapped guy

What year does she think it is, 1984? WTF is up with her sunglasses?

She's probably not even holding a cell phone up to her ear - it's probably a lighter or a compact. *prays that it's a lighter*

Paris really is handicapped...her pussy lips are so stretched out from all the guys that she has banged and girls who have sucked on her that her labia drags behind her and make it almost impossible for her to walk.

Hey Jane #11-

THIS is one Chuck that wouldn't drop his balls in her "500" hole.

17

No such luck even if it IS a lighter--they've got those child-proof things on them.

19

You are a wise and discerning man.

re 13: Paris has a thing for jocks. Eli Manning's number was on her Blackberry way back when. Maybe she's trying to bring down the NFL by infecting as many quarterbacks as possible with herpes or smallpox or whatever it is she's got going on down her nethers.

She also needs to get a new rep. The best line he could come up with is "I find the reports surprising"? Not good.

17

Better a fucking grenade...

#16...

Right, since when does this dirtbag ever drive her own car?? Usually she is in the back seat with her best friend's boyfriend and the car is moving up and down instead of forward...

P - positively

A - anal

R - retentive

I - insane

S - slut

P - Pustulous
A - Anal sex addicted
R - Rank
I - Infected (you name it)
S - SLUT

P art of you wants to be flirty.
A ll the res is just filthy dirty.
R ight, there's not cure for herpes, girl.
I t's perminit, mot like hair curls.
S ay goodbye to being covited,pretty, and cute.

Everyone and their mother has seen you in your birthday suit!

And it aint pretty

24

Maybe no one wants to give her a ride anymore. Those stains are a bitch to get out.

Lienart just needs another BUSH press his balls against. He found a great tight end with Paris unknowing she's ganged banged almost every football team out there.

"There once was an heiress named Hilton...
Whose overworked snatch was a wiltin'

The doctor was brought, to work on her twat...

Her diaphram now is a built in!"

What a bitch. For punishment they should put her in a bag with kittens, and toss her in a fucking lake...........

She's on her knees so much she practically qualifies as handicap.

perhaps
all
rou

ok we v
cheated
so get over ity

come her babe

you need a jolly good
ciuddle:)

P - Is for all the penises you've sucked...
A - Is cuz you're such an asshole...
R - Is cuz you're always "ready" to fuck...
I - Is for the Idiot you are...
S - Is cuz you're our favorite skank...

Paaaaaaris, we loooove you.....

Please someone.......when will her 15 minutes be UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a pickup truck??

The truck has a smaller box and a smoother ride...

Oh, well, considering how many idiotic things she does, you know she's at least mentally handicapped...

http://www.wehateeverybody.com

#31. we should atleast take the kittens out before doing so don't you think?
With those sun glasses people probably think shes mentally handicaped. She must have some major racoon eyes. Her and Nicole Richie both.

"In paris' latest film, she pays a slutty intern at the White House who decides to accept a dangerous mission to Baghdad to spy on Al Quada, but her vibrator accidentally falls out of her burqua and she ends up getting gang fucked by mujaddeen who think she is a baby camel"

Best part is she DIES at the end!!!!!

What's up with the ferret bashing?

She is handicapped; mentally and morally handicapped.

I hope she gets towed and her car is "lost."

this is low even for her. how fucking sel-centered and egotistical do you have to be to park in a handicapped space? she needs to drop dead.

Look at the two guys in the background.... the guy with the hat and the guy with the long hair.

They both looked totally stoned.

Let the retarded douchelock keep the parking spot, we've long suspected she was retarded, or at least slightly touched (see: wonky eye), now we just have confirmation that she is most definitely retarded.

P - athetic, spoiled
A - nal queen who's obviously been
R - ode hard and put away wet and won't stop
I - nfecting people with
S - yphilis

Paris got her period when she was filming her video..check this out

http://www.imnotobsessed.com/2006/05/28/my-tampon-doesnt-go-with-my-outfit/#more-2520

11: Come on, give the girl some credit!

She shot the skee-balls out of her vag. Points for accuracy, but I feel sorry for the poor kid who plays after her. The tyke's mom and dad gonna have some 'splainin' to do to the pediatrician.

People please. Its not nice to make fun of the handicapped. The reason she can park there is because her googly eye completely distorts her depth perception rendering her nearly blind. The sunglasses are just a decoy to hide her physical defect. Lazy eye is an illness, too! I ran in the 2005 Race for the Lazy Eye Cure.

I have to agree with #15.
A ferret's intellect is far more superior than that crazy slutbag's; a betta fish is much more appropriate.
I wonder if she would fight with herself if you held a mirror in front of her....

Fa-- If I cap her, can you get me off?

Err.. maybe that was poor word choice on #50...

47

Fa--yeah, if she shot them out of her vag, I WOULD have to give her some credit. That would be quite a feat, considering her vag is as loose as Hohan's BM's. She'd have to be squeezing those kegels REEEEEEAllY hard to be able to hold on to one of those balls.

Ugly whore!
Why is this idiot still seeing her? Her stuff cant be that good. (stretched out, bumpy) I cant wait to witness his first sak in the NFL.

"City girls use vaseline,
country girls use lard,
Paris uses axle grease and gets it twice as hard...."

"City girls wear diamonds, country girls wear glass..
The only ring that Paris wears is the ring around her ass...."

"City girls wear muskrat, country girls wear skunk, the only fur that Paris wears is the fur around her..."

Well, I'll let y'all finish that one...ya heah??

Aww shucks, ok ok, CUNT!!!

CUNT, CUNT, CUNT, CUUUUNT...!!!!

There, I finished it for you - I couldn't resist...

Hey, you know I want to apologize - it's just that Paris brings out the WORST in me, I don't know why - oh yeah, it's in all the posts before this one...

Whew, also I swear too much...

fuck...he he

i love you harrynipples

I'll have you know, Mr. Superficial, I used to have a ferret - rest her furry little soul - and she was a MILLION times smarter than Paris Hilton.

a ferret.. you sure she's that smart man?

I'm puzzled by the fact that Paris Hilton managed to get a driver's license in the first place. They shouldn't just give those licenses to any and all morons.

Superficial, must you put down ferrets? I know for a fact their IQs are much higher than Paris's. What is so wrong about Paris parking in handicap spaces? She is handicapped after all. She is also rich so she can do whatever she wants, whenever, where ever to whomever she desires. It must be grand to be immortal.

I think Lionel Richie was wearing those very sunglasses in his "Dancin' on the Ceilin'" video.

OH COME ON!! Let's just kill her on print and be done with it...just don't print crap or post her pics....it would just kill her that no one gives a rats ass about her.....she walks into the room....we all turn away and she poses for nothing....cos no one cares. Her social status will then rot off as her virginity did. She was probably 6 when that happened. but I digress

We did it for Britney and Federline...marriage over....our campaingn to destroy that worked..it's over...success

PEOPLE!!! We have begun to lose our touch...now creepy Tom is marrying ol' Dead Eyes....now the world will be filled....short little dead eyed cock lovin' spawn...THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!!!!

*steps off soap box*....'nuff said...

Who the hell is she always on the phone with? It looks ridiculous. Walking and smiling holding that damn phone next to her ear. Eh!

She parks in handicapped spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces. She's an asshooooool.

What's the difference between Paris and a freezer?

A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out

ba-da-BUM

No, no dummy. Those are for the PHYSICALLY handicapped!

It's a form of dyslexia - she thought the sign said "Herpescapped".

Lol @67

Tonight on Pay-Per-View

Evil Kineval will be jumping the biggest hole second only to the Grand Canyon. Thats right folks, for only $29.95, you can see him attempt to mortorcycle jump Paris Hiltons vagina while trying his best not to get sucked in and devoured by King Crabs.

harrynipples you are a fucking poet! that was so good.

good thread. good thread indeed

You know how Pregnant ladies can get a temporary handicapped sticker because they have to run to the bathroom so much....well maybe a Blistering Herpes outbreak entitles her to a sticker so she can run into buildings restrooms stuff her mouth with tissue and scream while applying soothing cream to her running pustules.

Lordie lordie lordie, I'm so painfully sick of this white-trash ghetto media whore ... She is about as smart as an eggplant and her parents are all to blame ! Perhaps if they actually raised their kids and took interest, they wouldn't have turned out unfit for society !!

For years I dated a woman with spina bifida and considered it vigilate justice to fuck up the cars of people who parked in hadicapped spaces when they weren't entitled to.

It would make my pee-pee tingle to drag a key down the side of Miss-Hilton-You-Must-Be-Worth-A-Trillion-Bucks' vehicle.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a pig???

You can only get FOUR fingers up a pig's vagina...

so there...mornin' y'all, I am eating a McMuffin, and Paris is probably eating a muff...

Sorry folks, it's still morning here on the left coast and I need another cup of coffee, I should have said CUUUUNT!!!!

I hate this bitch....

What is Steve Coracajuju (sp?) doing looking over her left shoulder? Maybe she was being nice and giving him a ride to the kidney specialist, and THAT is why she was parked in the handicapped spot.

Hopefully someone who lives at that complex reads this: just call the LAPD, tell them someone is parked in a handicap spot without a placard. BAM...they will zoom over like a hostage crisis (no shit!) and will give a major parking citation and/or tow. GET IT DONE!

#79...
Good idea SilverBaked, I would like to see her slap the cop like Zsa Zsa and get her skinny ass thrown in the slammer with a dozen hard core lesbians...

Trouble is, she would LOVE the lesbian scene and she's is probably banging the police chief's son anyway - what a cunt...let's throw baby seal blood on her fur coat...bitch...

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwww!!!
*pulling on bottom eyelids with fingers*

No new posts yet? And it's 1 pm superfish guy time!

It's only 10 here, and I'm already going crazy.

Someone should put battery acid in her Massengill...she probably needs to use a pressure washer on that thing considering how hard she works it...

*hands jane a margarita*

At least it's Friday, right? Perhaps Superfish guy is planning to dazzle us with tons of new stuff at the end of the day so there's something to talk about all weekend.

Nah, probably not.

Still, it's Friday!

Ari...

Babysitting again this weekend or are you alone, hot and available??

Nice sunglasses and hairdo, Max Hedrom.

Look, maybe she is handicapped. Sport-fucking can cause irriversible damage to the spinal column. I ought to know.

Harry-- I've got my own spawn to deal with, but nobody else's... at least so far.

However, from the time they go to sleep til about 4 a.m., I'm available...

83

Thanks, I needed that. *sniff*

But about that superfish guy, he probably is barely waking up, tending to the itch in his balls created by the unfortunate tangle of his pubes.

If Paris calls it "sport fucking" then she should be in the Olympics...she could certainly hump a stripper pole - she probably could take the whole thing too...

Am I going to burn in hell because I hate this bitch so much??? Someone help me, I need absolution...

Sport-fucking, huh?

I'll risk the injuries...

hairy just do 5 hail mary's and then u can spend the rest of your life saying shit about this douche bag. im pretty sure with 5 hail mary's on this bitch you could also probably kill her and you would still be ok. hmm not sure just make sure to ask your preist first.

#88 - *passes Harry a big bottle of Windex*
We will burn together...
Instead of the rings, the Fuck-lympics logo could be overlapping, multi-colored condoms.

- 91...

He he, we could light one of her used tampons up and use it as the Olympic torch - that sucker will burn for a hundred years and will probably finish the ozone layer for good...

//////////

She's at it again!

www.bestweekever.tv

/2006/06/09/sizzler-paris-peels-out-breaks-law/

Jacq--
overlapping, mutli-colored FLAVORED condoms.

Gotta cover all the bases.. so to speak.

I think Paris looks pretty in this picture.

I think that sex-related Greek games would be very fitting. We all know how Paris loves her a Greek guy...

Some say man, you know you can't believe.
Jamaica, we got a sport-fuck team.

Ahhh, Cool Runnings. I miss you, John Candy.

#96...

Haaa, yeah she loves Greek all right - every fucking chance she gets...I am going to sneak into her filthy little bathroom and put sand into her Vaseline...

Today's Superficial headlines, in brief:

Some Model is Hot
Paris Hilton is a Bitch

Things that make you go 'hmmmmm', as C&C Music Factory might say.

Sand in her Vaseline - what a pain in the ass! LOL SOM! Sorry, I have the tired sillies.
Harry, you're my gyro. hehehe

Hey, Jaq, havin a really fucking boring day at work today?, because I know I am.
Let's dance!

She's Paris Herpes, bitch, she can do whatever she wants...cause she has no brains, and oodles of money...!

Kissing this bitch is like Frenching a rancid jar of mayonnaise that's been used as an ashtry at a frat party...

I know I used that one before on another thread, but it's just too good, and that was when Osh wanted to kiss Anna Nicole..now THAT'S fucking gross...

Dammit, ashTRAY, what the fuck is with these typos?? I guess it's hard to type with one hand down my pants...

we'd have to say

set one

to paris :)

http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/mndwebpages/hilton accident caught on camera_09_06_2006

Why is she always on her cell phone?? Is she talking to the free clinic to see if she's actually got another case of the clap??

#33

we were sitting here
wagging a finger at
the screen saying
"you're not supposed
to [be able to] do
that to me babe :))"

lol bitch

Harry--
I have no idea why she's always got that phone up to her ear. For one thing, who the hell wants to talk to her? For another... is she the only person on the planet without a bluetooth headset?? Seems like anybody with any money at all has one of those things.

Maybe she's holding the phone there to keep what's left of her brain from running out her ear.

Interesting to look at the people in the background...the guy on the right looks like he could care less, and dare I say, the people on the left are LAUGHING AT HER!! They probably have never seen this douchenik standing on a corner having a phony conversation on her cellphone. "Barbra, Barbra, oooo, I would LOVE to sing on your next album." pulleaaaese..

"Paris, they're not laughing WITH you, they're laughing AT you!!!"

And yes, she is still a cunt...

Ooops, sorry a FUCKING cunt...there, that's better...

#101 - *does the Charleston Hustle - dips Osh and gives her a big, wet smooch*

Ooooo, she parked in a handicapped spot. Wow. Someone call the FBI.

People here are just offended because that's where they usually park.

Maybe they should make a special parking spot for her, designated "prostitute", with a special sign with a "mud flap chick" on her knees in front of a pot bellied truck driver...

No, maybe that's just too classy for her...

#112 I only park in the handicapped space when I'm dropping off your mother cause she usually has a hard time walking after I'm done with her.

#114...

LOL, LOL, ROTFL!!!!!

I am sure she gave her car herpes too...does this football player she's fucking put out a red light on the porch so she will find her way??? Or maybe some sperm soaked undershorts so she can sniff her way to the door...that would work...

Wow #114, that's really original. Yo momma soooo fat ...

#115, are you retarded?

Hey that's funny...

People put garlic on their doors to keep bloodsucking vampires AWAY, SO in her case if you nail your soiled jockey shorts to your door you will ATTRACT a cocksucking, moneygrubbing skank...

That is pretty fucking good...she could make a film out of it, "Cockula"...maybe I will write the script for her and send it to her...

#117...

No, just tarded...

@75-

i know how it is, my stepfather has MS and has to use a scooter. Oh HOW many times I wanted to kill someone (non-handicapped) for parking in the handicapped spaces, forcing us to park a mile away, unload the scooter, drag all our crap back to the car, etc. But none of that can compare to the ignorant assholes (and their rude-ass kids) that would gawk and gape open-mouthed as they saw him unloading his scooter from the truck, or driving around the store on it. Because obviously, handicapped people are SUCH a curiosity and a freakshow....sorry for the bitterness, but you probably understand. Some people have NO shame or compassion, they don't seem to realize that handicapped people are just that...PEOPLE, and want to be treated as such. Jesus fucking Christ.

@112-

You are an asshole. I certainly hope a terrible misfortune befalls you and YOU end up needing a handicapped spot one day. God fucking forbid you could have an ounce of compassion for those that have shit to deal with that would destroy a lesser pile of shit such as yourself. I bet you are one of the aforementioned assholes that gape and stare at handicapped people...but of course precious Paris SHOULD be able to park ANYWHERE that she wants, since she is obviously a superior being to the rest of us dirty peasants. If you think a person is worthy simply because they are rich, I truly feel sorry for you. You are truly a reprehensible person without an ounce of compassion or shame. It is such as you that make me tremble for the future of humanity. I guess we all have to look forward to skank trash like Paris being worshiped and revered as the next Jesus Christ. Oh, Lord Paris, of the gaping snatch, from whch all STD's flow...sucking dick down below, oh Lord, what a HO. Amen.

Yes, it is heartbreaking - my dear grandmother had "Intermittent Tourette's Syndrome" and she got it reaaally bad when someone parked in her favorite parking spot in front of Norma's Dyke Bar where she used to hang out...

Ranks up there with the Heartbreak of Psoriasis -

ok - does this mean I am an asshole too, mkay?? Mkay...

My dearly departed grandmother suffered from Geriatric Profanity Disorder. She would cause quite a stir during church.

Maybe she figures she can park where ever she wants since she lets pretty much anyone park themselves in her.

She looks like she's pulling Secret Service detail at Stuckey's.

If i was in California and saw Parasite's car in a handicapped spot i would definitely key it. I have written notes, yelled at people and keyed cars before because i have been unable to park or get into my car because some brain dead moron parked in a handicapped spot or in the yellow space between two spots which is where my van's lift comes down. Ignorance and stupidity are not handicaps!!!! I use a chair and i fucking hate people who park in handicapped spots who don't need them. It really pisses me off and they deserve whatever retribution I choose to mete out to them. Another good idea i found is a fake parking ticket that says "You have parked in a handicapped spot, please show this ticket to a policeman". Then they can get a hundred dollar fine. FUCK ALL THE FUCKHEADS WHO PARK IN HANDICAPPED SPOTS WHEN THEY DO NOT NEED THEM.

It is probably a good thing I do not own a gun....

126

Hey, that fake parking ticket is a brilliant idea! :)

my ferrets are insulted

hey guys leave the poor girl alone.. clearly Paris Hilton is handicapped!

hey guys don't be so hard the girls.. clearly Paris is more handicapped the anyone else who parks in those spaces

tsarinaamanda, your stepfather doesn't really have MS. He just drives that scooter around because he's a lazy son of a bitch. And people stare because they're hoping he'll pop a wheelie.