I'm #1!

I'm also naked right now...

Her beaver is so polluted even her scabs go on strike.

Nice job, Jacq! Eww, her va-jay-jay is practically hanging out. . . [Gag] Great, there goes the spaghetti I ate for lunch [runs out of office and toward men's room with hand over mouth]

She's driving a GMC? Pff. Pauper.

Doctor's orders. She has to let all her sores and scabs air out.

It's her inner-glow that makes her so lovely.
That warm and compassionate glitter in her eye; the caring, slow smile.
It's the intelligent forehead, the high cheekbones, the sensual line of her jaw.

Oops. Sorry, I was looking at a picture of Francis, the talking mule wearing a
blonde wig and cocktail dress drag.

God help me, I think she looks hot in that slip.

WTF?! I got crabs just typing that!!!!

And I love how she's holding her skirt down, like she's worried about showing anything.

Why is there a delivery truck, and why is she walking toward it? *GASP* She's made a deal with the terrorists to be their biological weapon, spreading disease and death with a wave of her labia!

Her boobs look large...well, not large, but bigger than normal.

I kinda like the nightie...for a pj party or something, but not the club/public.

I guess it's different for her because she likes to be groped by nasty men.

i want me some dipping sauce for them chicken legs she got!!!! hmmm hhmmmm

8
Try Windex, Tranny.

#9, there's a delivery truck because she's in the parking lot of the local truck stop fulfilling her destiny.
Yep, that's right - Paris is finally answering her call to be a Lot Lizard.

Paris Hilton has mastered the art of saying, "Hey..." while simultaneously drooling and posing like a marionette. I wish I could do three things at once, but the only thing I'm good at is sucking cock, and as of now I've only been able to master two at a time. God, why have you cursed me?

that bitch has ugly popliteals.

#2, I told you that you could put your clothes back on after you wiped my cum off your tits.
I know there was a lot, but you should be done by now.

#14

Osh, you forgot Paris's other catchphrase: "That's hot!" Although we have never been able to determine whether Paris was referring to the object of her attention or the burning she was feeling in her va-jay-jay.

Die already, bitch! In some of these pictures she looks functionally retarded, so thats a step up...

I'll do her.

Her crabs took vacation in Tahiti this weekend (the ones that didn't jump through the internet onto Tranny), and she is getting as close to naked as possible to lure them back.

Paris is a sad, lonely horse-girl.

I got desperate once and bought me a Russian mail order bride that looked just like this. Only without the infections, sordid sexual history, and flipper feet. No wait, it was her... I gotta go check my basement, someone's apparently escaped...

Ah, to be filthy rich. Paris has gotten so lazy that aside from communicating in catch phrases, she now doesn't bother with exterior clothing. A dress over that slip would slow her down in dropping on her coq du jour.

Did she get implants recently? I feel like over the past month or so every pic I see of her the titties are bigger than I remember them being. Wasn't she flat before?

Why does she think she deserves so much attention? She's a skank.

She looks like a wax figure in all these pics!

I highly recommend Paris' remake of her video "Stars Are Blind"-- In this version. She got a tan, short hair, braces... YES! YOU DID NOT KNOW IT. And she looks more suductive than ever!
Check her out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlVXeKK1GJc

I can't WAIT until she sees the first crows foot, or wrinkle, She is going to freak out and then we will have another Jocelyn Wildenstein Plastic Sugery Disaster just waiting to happen!!!!!

http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/000351.html

Go PAris!! Hit that wall!!!!!!

Possible reasons why Paris Hilton is not wearing any clothes:

-Because she's Paris Hilton
-Her crabs ate them
-She's so diseased, they disolved
-She's high and/or drunk
-She's retarded and just plum forgot to get dressed
-She just finished doing it with Fez and in his latino passion he ripped the clothes from her body (Ewww.)

The only "slip" I would like to see associated with Paris Hilton would follow with the words,
"off a cliff, and died on the rocks below."

I wear only my underwear to work everday. The chicks love it. It gives them something to laugh at.
http://genosworld.blogspot.com/

Wow. Absolutely haggard.

I'm watching the US Open right now and the commentator just said "This is a really long hole."

I'm sure most guys who sleep with Hilton say the say thing.

Either that, or they replace the word "long" with "wide."

@32 -- or "cheesy." Or "oozing" or "pustulent." Or, my favorite Paris-appropriate-adjective,"mephitic."

Paris should have a flag and a stick coming out of her hole just to let people know where it is.

I think she has those tit-tape pushers on and GEEZ...That is not just her contacts making that left eye off, CRAZY EYES...You know like on Mr. Deeds.
I wonder how it feels to know that the only reason anyone even knows your name is because you are a rich, slut who has left nothing to the imagination for the world between her video and her nip slips and pantiless miniskirt pics...and now STD's BFF Feuds, and boyfriend swaps and oh the Simple Life isn't that what the shows called (Stupid show, I didn't make it thru one episode) I mean I never knew much of her until right before her "video" premiered via the web.

In a couple of those pictures she looks like she has man-arms. Must be from that huge ring. I'm scared of her shoulders.

Sweetcheeks:

Her hole has a water hazzard, and it smells really fishy.

Eh, that was lame.

@9 - my thoughts exactly. You don't wear a dress like that unless you are wanting to flash some ass.

embarrased...BUT ME LIKEY!! I'd have to tap dat fo sho. Using BJ's tool though.

# 35 Did you see the remake of her video? It is awesome! She has the sweetest smile in this version.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlVXeKK1GJc

We have lost our way.

I am seriously disappointed in the lack of TCLTC posts these days.

Rumor has it that Tom Cruise was supposed to be in Pirates of the Caribbean instead of Johnny Depp, except that Cruise kept saying "Yo, Ho, Ho and a bottle of cum."

Don't complain about what she's wearing. We should just feel fortunate she's wearing *something* and that, for once, she isn't "accidentally" flashing the camera.

Lawrence, we get it. You want us to watch the video. That is at least three times you've posted the same thing.

Come up with some new material.

Look close...her escort is wearing a masonic ring....I am betting she is walking into the Lodge for the sacrificial goat offering.

I smell tuna...

I think she was hoping for a few more shots like this one
http://people.freenet.de/stuffpics/Paris-Hilton.jpg
She makes me want to rip my eyes out....

#43 yeah you are right... I just think that the remake is adorable... Here is new (old) material. I am not sure you saw this episode from South Park (I assume EVERYONE here has seen it).... Just in case, Check this out, it is very rude to Paris..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4_TKkZw_iw

At least she's WEARING clothes.

The shoes are nice...

But it's still...Paris Whitney Hilton.

So what's the difference between TC and a whirlpool?
Nothing! They both swallow semen...

What's the difference between TC and a rooster?
One says cockadoodledoo the other says any-cock'll-do!

I'm out of old jokes now...

Gah! Pearly! That was fucking whore-endous.

Why is her nasal septum an inch-and-a-half further down her upper lip than either side of her nose? WTF? She supposedly had a nose job and THIS is the RESULT? This looks like some really bad "before" pre-rhinoplasty shots to me.

That plastic surgeon took her for a ride. (Probably a few kinds of rides, actually)

She looks like someone caught her septum on a meat hook and pulled her around until it stretched down...like some weird new African tribal skin-stretching technique. (No offense to anyone in Africa for comparing your culture to her hook nose)

The ironic thing is she markets herself as this sexual godess when 85% of the world knows what a shit fuck she is. I couldn't even find the effort to hate fuck this useless twat.People worshiped Marylin Monroe, Bridgit Bardo etc because the were unattainable and perfect, and never made any shit ass sex tapes.

Lawrence 47 - THAT IS FCKNG HILARIOUS!!! made my day

Oh come on! What are you all talking about? She's classy!

Um, I'm just waiting for a big gust of wind or the woosh of a big truck to go by and then everything will be blowing in the wind and she won't be as lucky as Toni Braxton and have her granny-thong to save her.

Oh, there was an article a few months ago in People about truck stop prostitutes. Maybe she read that and thought "that's hot".

HollyJ 53-- I'm glad you liked it. A bit rude though...

I once went to the store in Northeast Harbor wearing silk boxers. Only one person gave me a double-take and though it's a conservative community, nobody else seemed to care.

THIS IS A POST FROM THE FUTURE
(6/16/06 To Be Exact)

Another Nip Slip for Paris Hilton

As if she wasn't ho-ey enough...
Oh and by the way...if i'm not mistaken, are those BREAST IMPLANTS??? I am leaning towards YES...

Gooooooooooooooo LAZY EYE!!

You guys wanna know whats fun?

Go to the Superficial archives from like a year ago. I laughed so hard.
It's great to go back and remember what it was like in the old days when the superfish was actually funny.

Seriously. go to the archives.

# everyone

lol guys, are we looking at the same pics?

now... that's hot :))

In all fairness, Paris doesn't KNOW what a slip is. That requires a knowledge of modesty that is beyond her grasp. Slips are for wearing under dresses, so you don't see through them. Does this sound like our darling Parisite? I think not.

im up to #33

so did you hear
the new word
of the day

its

paradigm shift

lol bitches :))

#38 ...and yet she had more class than you

I don't think it's short enough.

If you look closely, you will notice that that is not a shooting star on her slip. That's my baby batter, creatively launched in-between her tupperware tata's in the shape of a shooting star.

And the neckline is too high.

I like the song "Stars Are Blind", but the video is annoying. All she does is flip her hair around. It's distracting. Plus, the whole time you're just waiting for that boob to come out of the ill-fitting bathing suit.

Coob, although I'm an atheist, I actually prayed to God last night. I prayed for you to die from a terrible rectal infection.

How are things feeling down there? Any itching yet?

No more than usual.

Why don't you both just leave me alone and let me post?

I see... immaturity.

#46 That's awesome Pearly. Dare I say, Wicked Awesome? If I was there when that was shot and had a metal spike, or baseball bat, or a gaff, or a cinderblock, or an old wooden mannequin, I'd hit her right in the cunt with it. Right in the fuckin' cunt.

herbiefrog...

You always make me laugh with your nonsensical posts... they're funny!

Keep up the good work, I actually laughed out loud on the last part, lol.

Dr.Rokter ...

Try to keep it a little cleaner.

PEARLY!!! MY EYES!!! My stomach did an actual lurch when I saw that. SO NOT COOL. I'm going to take one of your skates and bash you over the head!

are we in 3rd grade and not allowed to say vagina? What's with this va-jay-jay crap?

Its hard to rhyme a
word like vagina

but make do.

Paris Hilton is... Good?

Want to make your Paris Hilton-hating friends really mad?

Put on her new single, "Stars Are Blind" (Warner Bros.), and don't tell them who it is. Watch them bob their heads to the lilting, reggae-lite beat. Watch them happily process the Gwen Stefani-esque cooing. Drop in a casual, "Pretty good, huh?" and wait for them to agree.

Then, wha-poww! Offer the big reveal: It's Hilton singing. It's like a musical version of "Punk'd." Soon people will be falling to the floor. (Have chairs ready.) They may get so upset there may be fisticuffs, so be prepared.

Yes, Hilton has a surefire hit on her hands and a pretty good one to boot.

As far as I can tell she's just going out to her favorite restaurant, "the roach mobile on wheels".

78--
You'll notice a lot of us just say cunt or pussy. We get in our moods.

In fact, I think we came up with several dozen alternate terms for VAGINA a couple of weeks ago.

#46 -

For a woman that has never had a baby, that is one beat up looking snatch.

Did sis just buy some new hooters? Cuz that wonderbra is workin' hard!

The trifecta of her dead eyes, knobby knees, and that omnipresent involuntary mouthing of "heyyyyy" make her as sexually appealing as Old Rose from Titanic.

I remember reading that she got small implants, but I think most of the rack she has in these pics is padding (there's just something off about their shape).

She's not exactly known for subtlety, though, so I wouldn't be surprised if she showed up one day with DDs bolted to her chest.

ive seen dresses on hollywood celebs that didnt look that sexy.good god i wanna twist her out.

Paris is still second to Britney. She's aiming for her own naked spread-eagle cooter shot sculpture by Daniel Edwards.

I think she might need butt implants before that.

...

...

They really have those.

And she might need a stitch or two (or 5) to help uhhh, keep things from gaping and causing a wind tunnel effect.

Order of how I like people the Superficial always writes about...

1.) Tom Cruise
2.) Katie Holmes
3.) Britney Spears
4.) Paris Hilton
5.) Lindsey Lohan
6.) Jessica Simpson
7.) O.J. Simpson
8.) Kate Moss

*Not 100% correct, but close... very close. I really don't like O.J. and Kate Moss.

FIRST!

You know, it takes a classy gal to wear attire that gently says:

plow me like a phillipino whore.

I don't get what any one's saying. Its just because of whose wearing it. It's a nice outfit and she wears it well.

Is it just me or does the superficial have a LOT more ads lately? Pops and I'm gone!

Is it just me or you have a LOT more goat anal sex lately? Pops and I'm gone!

I am fascinated at my fascination with this person (weak, I know. I just couldn't think of the appropriate adjective.) Vacuous, maybe.

vacuous adj. Devoid of matter; empty. Lacking intelligence; stupid. Devoid of substance or meaning; inane:

Yeah, that's it.

92 B-Slim
Not nice at all!
That's an insult to phillipino whores!
I learned how to play ping-pong from one of those whacky babes!

#29 and #92, you made me laugh my ass off...

RE Paris's attire: yes, I think one should leave a little something to the imagination. Just cause you can dress like a skank doesn't mean you should. I mean, we've all seen the goods, there's really no reason for them to be constantly on display.

C'mon, Paris, play a LITTLE hard to get.

Sorry, I know that picture causes blindness but hey...
It's funny!

#74 that's a fuckin awsome pic
of her car
i've got the merc like lindsay, but i've got the sl55 not the sl65
cos the 65 is just common
but you'd have to be a boy to know why :)

lol bitches :)
eat your hearts out V

That cunt has some big fucking feet.

Remember how creepy Bette Davis looked when she got old...she always wore that same trademark cheap "bette davis" wig.....and wore tons of makeup over that crusty old wrinkled face?

When I see Paris, I imagine how she'll turn out to be another weathered old hag like Bette someday...soon too.

i love foot tendons!! i'd love to leave my man gravy on her feet. oh and i'd pay money to buy her used stinky shoes

weathered old hag with tightly stretched skin, eyebrows just below her hairline and freakish "cat" eyes from all the lifts.... oh yah, that's dead sexy.

leatherface you are one sick puppy....

#101...they're called talons and like any bird of prey she uses them to capture and shred her prey. Her species: whorum herpillica ...carries a lethal venereal venom that will painfully incapacitate her victims.

Glad to see the skank has cellulite on her inner thighs. Or is that dried ooze from the herps.

No nip slip? misleading title!

MeganHarris, the SF's arch nemesis. How's your cunt/penis doing? Kill any kittens lately? Masturbate until your fingers are numb lately? Try to sidle up to the popular gang at the mall and blend in, wishing fervently that they take you under their wing lately?

that's hot.

http://blondeexcuse.pixxiestails.com

Coob @88:

Too bad there's no such as a brain implant. You could sure use one.

95

do you still suck dick???

can i go next???

# 46 Good God! Roast beef, anyone? ICK!

I heard she is fucking J.J. Redick now.

#95.

Does Rove still frequent Bush's Oval Orifice?

Sure. Bend over bitch, I'll drive.

76

Try to keep it a little less retarded.

Her boobs look good since her last fat injection.

Hoo boy, I used to hate her and talk shit about her on this site, and tell everyone what a stupid, self-absorbed, cum-burping little whore she is, but after seeing these pics, I now have a boner...I think she looks smokin' hot holy Mother of God, cum-fuck-me -

#92 made me spit coffee on my keyboard... thanks

CLOSE YOUR MOUTH PARIS

Is this ALL that is going on in Hollywood right now?

"MOMMY!?! okay....remind me....what Parish Herpes famous for???...Is she a good witch or a bad witch"

Mommy: Honey...she's a skank whore and she is evil. If she is seen in natural light her wax face will melt off...That's why she is seen mostly at night

"Mommy!!! I'm scared!!!!"

Mommy: Me too honey...me too

hey guys :)
tastes [he meant feels] so good
that you are
feeling
so good
about
a
friend of mone
mone? mine :)

wtf?

she i8s
beau
tiful

so get over yourselves

before we do :)

im at my school's computer lab right now...
im gettting impatient with the clock.

3 hours to go til its time to go home.

im going to have to go in my car and take my laptop with me.

or print one of these pictures out, pay 25 cents for colored ink and go into a bathroom stall.

goddd why is paris hilton so hot???!