Jun 13 2006Orlando Bloom puts the moves on Claire Danes

I wouldn't mind visiting Orlando.

claire danes is a dog.
i've never seen the attraction.

BTW, did he have beer goggles going or what?

I like him much better as a blonde, clean-shaven elf.

BTW, what happened to Danes' eyebrows in the second picture? They disappeared! *poof*

Wow, she sure is ugly.

Okay, it's the first and only picture.

Shit, I gotta lay off the crack.

What in the hell happened to Claire Danes?!

What second picture?

Is that really Claire Danes? What the hell happened to her? I always thought Orlando Bloom looks like he uses Brylcreem.

Claire Danes is still alive?? Who are we going to talk about next - Natalie Imbruglia? Melissa Joan Hart?? DJ Tanner???

My god, that's Claire Danes? I recall her being cute. She looks ancient in this pic! Has she been aging in dog years?

And yes, I too am wondering about the vanishing eyebrows...

@#3 - Apparently he had his beer goggles set on "stun".

My Orlando Blooms did well this year. I used to raisa Gorbachevs , but they never did much - could be too sunny.
Tulips were good this year though.

I grew up in California and she looks just like the occaisional washed out hippie parent you would see on parents night at my grade school. You could look at her and tell that maybe when she was young she was cute and so it didn't matter that she was all earthy crunchy and didn't bother to wear make-up or comb her hair because a cute young girl can get away with that. Flash foreward ten years and that picture is what you get. B.O. and ugly clothes get noticed when you aren't 20 anymore Clair.

*sobbing hysterically*
Orlando, you could do SO MUCH BETTER!

YOU COULD DO ME!!!
*collapses in a heap*

Can you tell I kind of like him? Sniff.

Claire looks absolutely crazy here. Her eyes always creeped me out a bit--very stare-y, intense look.

Orlando can kiss my neck or anything else he wants to.

Oh, one more thing, they can't sell Ashley Simpson tickets and are apparently giving them away. So anybody have a friend you hate, I'm thinking this is the perfect gift for them.

http://forums.slickdeals.net/showthread.php?sduid=0&t=266598

Oh, and Tom Cruise, Loves the cock so much he wants Kaite to have a sex change.

Damn, that's Claire Danes?

I thought Courtney Love really cleaned herself up.

Even SHE looks surprised to be in the picture with him. Perhaps it's because she enjoys the pirate eye... ARRRGGG!!!

Nikk,
The caption's a misprint; that's obviously Courtney Love in that picture.

And yes, she has cleaned up, hasn't she?

Does Orlando have a 7 month pregnant girlfriend? Claire likes dudes with pregnant girlfriends.

Does Orlando have a 7 month pregnant girlfriend? Claire likes dudes with pregnant girlfriends.

I'm torn- it that his "I'm a serious actor squint?

Or, is he really just going to say" eh hey eh hee hee, I banged Claire Danes- he he eh"

It's nice she still hangs out with Corky sometimes.

Claire Danes would be pretty if it weren't for all the ugliness on her face.

I have a theory on what REALLY happened to Claire Danes in this picture...

SHE FORGOT TO PUT LAYERS OF MAKEUP ON, DUH!

Ew!! Does she have AIDs or something?

I'm going to call BS on this... that is NOT Claire Danes.

My child, it IS her --

I suppose in hollywood, anything is possible... but it bears NO resemblance to any pictures of her that I've ever seen.

28
I think it is, you can't mistake the big chin, crazy wide eyes, and cheshire cat grin. she's just gone all bobble-head, that's why she looks different.

weird:

http://tinyurl.com/lucx2

Actually, I think that's Claire Danes' mom ...

They're cute together. He looks like an attractive woman and she looks like an ugly man.

And I'm pretty sure Orlando Bloom IS the local pervert somewhere.

Orlando Bloom in perhaps the gayest man that has not come out of the closet, except for Clay Aiken.

And, isn't she a little old and ugly to follow Kate whats-her-name he used to "date"?

Okay, she looked awesome in Romeo and Juliet, but this pic here...ugh, she needs to borrow some eyebrows from Denise Richards.

I would only do Orlando if he were in full elf costume, white wig and bow included.
Considering he could get most any chick he wanted, I'm sure he's not dating her. He probably just had to get his mack game on with someone so he just took whatever he could find.

Orlando looks like one of the guys who works down at the car wash and clair looks like she should be selling hand crafted crap out of the back of a van.

#24 As much as it pains me to note this b/c you're are brilliant, Corky was on Life Goes On.

38
What car wash do you go to? I am leaving work right now to dirty up my car.

i was in orlando once, what a shithole

I don't know why this is so surprising. As we've learned from Ryan Seacrest, this is what in-the-closet gay guys in Hollywood do: they get on unattractive famous women for a day for the photo op.

I wonder if Claire Danes is any relation to my friends Great Dane, I must call him and find out. I'll get back to you.........

my friend went to prep school in manhattan with claire, who often would come to school wearing a pillow case with arm holes

she's lookin a little tilda swinton here, ugh

She kinda looks like the negative of a picture...if you squint your eyes.

No wait, Skeletor?

I got it...
an the negative of Skeletor who is now albino.

Too bad for her, I just watched The Family Stone this weekend and I thought she looked really pretty...

@39, I thought she was the chick from Life Goes On. Just found out it was someone else. I'm removing my foot from my mouth now.

Orlando Bloom may be retarded though, so it still kinda works.
Thanks for the correction.

Orlando could do with some Botox. He's starting to look a little Charles Bronson-y.

Claire looks like her face was put together out of random Mr. Potato Head pieces.

She was on that show Orlando used to love so much, "My So Called Beard".

Someone needs a nose job and it isn't Orlando.

wtf happaned to claire danes. O_O

How nice that she posed with him after being publicly dry-rubbed. Looks like a prom picture. Prom Theme: A Midsummer Night's Cream.

they are both ugly. she used to be cute though, very sad. looks like shes been doig coke for breakfast. orlando bloom always has and always will look like a girl. hes so gay.

OBLTC

They're both hags.

Yep, turns out she is, on the moms side......

Claire Danes is the epitome of fugly. Even with the best Hollywood make-up techs and lighting gurus she is marginally attractive. And where is good old Billy Crudup, the guy she stole from the better looking Mary Louise Parker when she was preggers? Claire must be one nasty ho to overcome that semi-retarded goofy grin. She probably gives up the backdoor on the first night and it's all downhill from there.

What is it about Claire Danes that causes men to cheat on their significant (and sometimes pregnant) others? She is so one-dimensional. She always has the same blank stare on her face, sometimes accompanied by her lips trying to crack into a smile.

"Claire, you've landed the movie role" (Blank stare in response)

"Claire, your mother died" (Yup, still a blank stare back at you)

"Claire, I am having with you the most erotic sex you've ever had and you are thisclose to an orgasm!" (Wait! Is that...? Sigh, no, it's still a blank stare)

That isn't Claire Danes at all. That's just a girl who looks a bit like her. She looks more like Cynthia Nixon, if anyone.

My gosh. Get that girl into the SUN. She looks like something who had to be helped out of her coffin to attend the Black Eyed Peas concert.

And Orlando...*sigh* I am old enough to be his...aunt. I am lovin' those warm brown eyes. But he definitely needs to shave off whatever it is he has going on under his nose. Eww. He looks dirty.

60
Uh-uh. He's one guy that can get away with scruff, unlike Hohan's new gay friend.

@21-

Dammit, I was going to say that! I used to like her until she pulled that crap. And for freaking BILLY CRUDUP? UGH!!! He is just downright creepy! I have never understood these women who feel the need to get with a guy who dumped his wife/girlfriend/longtime pregnant partner/whatever for them. Don't they realize that the guy is just going to do it to them eventually? Are you so pathetic that you cannot find a SINGLE guy, you need to go bust up someone's relationship? Jesus Christ, that shit is whack. Yes, whack.

And I have NEVER found Orlando to be the slightest bit attractive. I don't want a sissy little girly man with long hair, I want a real MAN. A gun-toting, chock full of testosterone, never cries because it's "gay", ass kicking MAN! Oh yeah!

I'll take the sissy girly-man if you don't want him ...

wow, i always thought claire danes was gorgeous. that is the worst picture of her i have ever seen, hands down. also orlando is creepy. and the black eyed peas are almost worse than james blunt.

That's nothing you should have seen Riasa and Gorby get nasty during "My Humps"....

It's called Karma. It's come around and hit her with the ugly stick. I'm sure Ms. Parker's laughing her ass off right now. I'm with ya girl.

If I saw that my first reaction would be, "Ewww, look at those lesbians!"

Claire looks like a skull with eyeballs in that pic.

OK, now didn't she have an affair with Jodie Foster? So do we have a beard, gherkin, or both here?

Wow claire danes looks bad. wow. I used to want to be her when she was in My So Called Life.

hmm, I probably should not admit that.

http://celebreligion.com

I see Legolas really is a blond afterall....who's his gay pal on the left?

Ya'll be bee-yatches -- lol

SPINDOC, thanks for making me piss my pants at work, you are too fucking funny

Don't know who Danes is. What I do know is that men who dress like elves for money are generally homosexual gigalos.

#74, you take that back immediately, sir.

You shall not defame the masculinity of Orlando Bloom because in that scene where, as Legolas, he slides down the stone steps on that shield, shooting arrow after arrow after arrow *whup-whup-whup* my jaw falls slack and my eyes get all blank and stare-y.

(Although he couldn't have been more mincing and swishily feminine playing the role of Paris in "Troy." That movie sucked.)

With a heavy sigh, I concede that you may have a point.

WTF is everyone's obsession with Orlando Blob? ACK. He's got a lazy left eye, he's short as a mofo, and he has the purse of a cocksucker (and, by that, I don't mean Versace).

Modern straight women (and gay men, for that matter) have such shitty-low standards for what they'll consider "hot"

WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD MEN GONE????????? All the good men besides Colin Firth, that is...
http://goldenbeaus.com/naked/colin_firth1.jpg

75 S-bon- to long to type name girl..girl?

Have you noticed the phallacy of the stone steps? Essentially Bloom is riding a well-greased cock into a horde of men in drag. The arrows obviosly (fuck I know I can't spell, so sorry) are a homosexual fertility symbol. The whore-ed of men, getting the arrow from an indiscriminate fairy-type creature gaily sliding down a long, black rail? Phshaw! He could not be more gay, short of riding the "Good Year Blimp" ass-first, down Plugging Blvd., in Hershey, PA, at the heighth of a Gay Pride Parade Orgy.

Oh, you were agreeing with me...oops. My bad.

*I really liked Troy, don't hate me*

hehehehehehe!

That runaway bride from Georgia had the same bug-eyed look that I've always thought Claire exhibited.

Claire Danes looks like a clone of Courtney Love. Only skinny. Someone looks like they like ice.

I wud totally visit Orlando, they'v got seaworld don't they.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again... that there is ONE guy that got to sleep with both Mary Louise Parker AND Claire Danes is proof that god hates me.

And I still don't think that is Claire Danes in that picture. I just don't.

I think that the affects of banging some guy whose girlfriend was about to give birth is finally catching up with Claire - it's probably sinking in right about now that she's going to be next -

Wait...he's not gay?

O.K NOW THERE IS ONLY ONE HOTTIE IN THIS PIC. AND IT'S NOT CLAIR DANES!!! SHE NEED'S TO DRAW HER EYE BORWS BACK ON AND STOP AND LOOK IN THE MIRROR!

she just made the number one mistake of hair dyeing: don't allow your brows to be the same color or lighter than your hair. I think her awfulness in this picture just has to do with the dye job because normally she looks great and she was cute in shop girl.